Game Changer (Hell's Saints Motorcycle Club)

by Marinaro, Paula

  So she just stayed.

  Just her, with us.

  With the only the clothes on her back. She just stayed.

  Like a whisper in the wind, sometimes she was barely there. Her voice hadn’t completely come back yet and maybe never would. The raspy tone of it belied the pedigree that her light complexion and pale blue eyes spoke to. She had beautiful bone structure and her new pixie cut showed it off even more. She was a beauty our Glory. We were learning that her spirit was as lovely as her looks. But she could also get down and dirty if she needed to. Like the way she stepped up to Gino and “oh daddied” him literally to death. Where that came from in her, God only knows. I looked up at her as I was handing her some painting tape and I wondered for the millionth time how she had ended up with Gino. But then again, she probably wondered the exact same thing about me.

  We had each picked out a bedroom. The house had been fully furnished but we still needed fresh bedding and some other stuff. Since none of us had felt like venturing forward yet, we bought what we needed on the internet and had had it all shipped. The porch was filled with a litter of boxes from Amazon, Crate and Barrel, and several linen stores.

  I felt someone grab me from behind and lift me off my feet.

  “Babe.” Diego was nuzzling my hair.

  He turned me around in his arms, put his big hands on either side of my face and laid one on me. God I loved his kisses. But Jesus, in front of everybody?

  I laughed and tried to push him back, blushing.

  “Going pink on me babe is not gonna stop me. Makes me hard” He grinned in my ear.

  Then he draped his hand around my shoulder and called out to Reno who was on a ladder hammering.

  “Gonna take Raine outta here for a bit. You got this?” It was not a question.

  “No problem brother. Where ya going?” Reno whacked at a nail.

  “Threw some sandwiches and shit together. Nice day. Thought we’d take the bike out an’ stop somewhere to eat ‘em.”

  “Yeah?” Reno was talking around some nails he had placed in his mouth as he hammered. “Go take your woman out on your damn picnic. I’ll be sweating my balls off in here.” He grinned.

  “Ain’t no fucking picnic, brother. I don’t do picnics.” Diego grumbled.

  “You got food, you got drinks. You taking that shit on the road.” Reno was still hammering.

  “Ya, so what? We get off the bike, we grab some chow and eat it.” Diego was frowning.

  “You taking a blanket?” Reno hadn’t broken his hammering stride.

  “You got to have some shit to sit on.” Diego explained.

  “Then it’s a fucking picnic, man.” Reno still hammering.

  “Ain’t going on a fucking picnic, I don’t do fucking picnics.” Diego was looking wary.

  “Hey, Ma.” Reno called for Dolly.

  “Yeah?” Dolly answered from the other room where she was hanging curtains.

  “Diego’s taking Raine out on the bike, he packed some food and shit. Is that what you call a picnic?”

  “Is he taking a blanket?” Dolly yelled from other room.

  Reno stopped hammering and raised his eyebrows. Diego ran his hand through his hair.

  “Fuck me.” He said under his breath.

  “You tell anybody about this shit I am gonna kill you Reno, you feel me?”

  “Secret’s safe with me.” Reno was grinning wide open.

  Diego grabbed my hand and said “Come on babe. Let’s go on a fucking picnic.”

  I laughed all the way to the bike.

  Chapter 46

  It was another perfect summer day. We rode under an indigo sky dotted with big white frothy clouds suspended in amazingly beautiful formations. The wind whipped through my hair and I had my arms wrapped around my man. Tight.

  After a while we pulled into a wooded area. There was a heavy chain across the dirt road and a sign that said “No trespassing.” Diego pulled up next to it, reached in his pocket and produced a key to the huge heavy lock attached to the bulky chain.

  I raised my eyebrows at him.

  “My land, babe.” He said as explanation.

  The road continued for about a quarter mile then turned into a path. After we had cleared the gate the land pretty much was a slow and steady incline with a wooded area all around After a short while we broke into a large clearing. It was beautiful. The land sat on the edge of a rolling hill in a pretty grassy knoll.

  I just stood for a minute and took in all the wonder. On the edge of the natural clearing, someone had begun taking down trees. There was a chainsaw case and a felling ax sitting on a pile of freshly chopped wood. The smell of the timber joined with the pitchy smell of sticky pine trees. I could hear the rushing of water coming from somewhere. There was a flurry of startled birds fleeing from the trees.

  I turned to Diego. He was pulling the blanket out from the bike.

  “It’s beautiful.” I said to him.

  “You’re beautiful.” He said to me.

  Then he grabbed me by the hand and we walked in silence for a little while. I was in awe, taking in all the natural beauty and wondering again at this man beside me.

  He stopped by a stream that was flowing fast with cold clear water dancing over smooth river rock.

  He spread out the blanket and turned to me. He began to pull my shirt over my head. Suddenly Diego was all hands and mouth.

  Broad daylight and he wanted me naked.

  He had never seen me buck naked in the blinding light of day. Blinding light of day.

  I stood in front of him with my nipples pushing up past my demi cup bra that was just a little too small for my semi large breasts but it was frothy white lace and I had loved it. Then I covered them.

  “Diego…” I began.

  “Babe, you gotta stop this shy shit with me. Your mine. I’ve been in you, had my mouth on you. I have tasted every single square inch of your beautiful fucking tits. I know what your ass looks like better than you do. I know that you have three freckles on the back of your left knee and I know that I after I finger fuck you it takes exactly five times of pulling on your clit with my mouth to make you cum and then you spasm so hard all that sweetness sucks my tongue right in.”

  “Five times?” I croaked.

  “Exactly.” He held my gaze.

  “Now get your beautiful hands off those big tits that you know I love and come here.” He stepped into me.

  He stood before me and pulled his shirt at the back of the neck to yank it off. I never ever got tired of looking at his body. Diego seeing me in the bright light of day meant that I got to see him too. I drank him in. The way the muscles danced under his skin when he moved. The scars, the large intricate cross tattooed on his chest. The way his hip bones made a v pointing to the area of my greatest pleasure.

  I took my hands away, reached back and unhooked my bra. My breasts fell heavy against me and Diego reached in and kneaded them with his beautiful rough hands.

  “Pretty bra, babe. But you’re not wearing that shit with me. I want easy access to your tits. I want to feel them soft against me when you’re on the back of my bike. I want to be able to reach over and pull your shirt up and look at them, and lick them and touch them whenever I want. I want to be able to lay my hand on you, skin to skin and feel your heartbeat.”

  How could you argue with that?

  I reached down and unzipped him. I yanked off his jeans and boxers until they were a pool around his ankles. Then I did the same to mine.

  And there we stood. Facing each other in the beautiful brilliant light of day. He dropped me to the blanket and when his body moved to cover mine, I flipped him on his back. He went down with a surprised grunt and I smiled at him. Then I proceeded to cover every inch of his chest with my lips, my tongue and my mouth. I licked and sucked and kissed him until his nipples were puckered and his cock was rock hard Then I straddled him and grinded into to him.

  Totally inhibited. I pushed away all thoughts of shyness or risk o
r fear. It was just him and me and sunshine and light and the perfect sound of clear fresh swiftly running water. I arched my back as I built. I felt myself tighten around him and moved faster. His hands on my hips guided me, pulling me back and forth and tighter to him. I pulled out just a little only to tunnel him deeper inside me. I did that again and again, feeling that sweet tension build. I loved feeling Diego’s thighs rise on my ass and his muscles grow tighter. When I could not hold back any longer, I rose one more time and settled hard on his cock stretching my body. I took all of him inside me then. I arched my back and raised my outstretched arms in welcome to the sun, and the clouds and the love that came radiating down from the heavens and fell in the space between us. And I gave thanks.

  We laid totally naked in the warm sunshine wrapped up in each other. Diego was lying on his side with his legs draped over mine. He had one arm wrapped around my waist and the other cradling my head. I was still throbbing from the thrill of having him inside me. Diego had stopped using protection right after the Ellie thing. He had gone for a blood test to make sure she hadn’t “left him with any of her shit” and he had gotten the report he was clean. I hadn’t asked him to do it but was glad he had. I had been on the pill and continued to be on it so we were protected. It was something I was pretty religious about. I may have forgotten a couple of days in between the chaos when the Gino stuff went down but we weren’t really active then anyway.

  Diego was a little obsessive about making sure I took it. So obsessive that it kind of hurt my feelings a little bit. I guessed he just didn’t think I was mother material, or didn’t want any kids with me. Or maybe any kids period. Or maybe any permanent me, period.

  And I went on like that sometimes.

  Because honestly, my biological clock was beginning to tick. I was going to be twenty nine my next birthday and I sometimes looked at mother’s with babies and thought I would like that. But I wasn’t sure Diego was the right baby daddy for that.

  Actually, I would probably be crazy to think he would be the right baby daddy for that. He was a Hell’s Saint through and through. No denying that. He was an outlaw man. I knew that the things he did for the club were not legal, or lawful or even moral. I grew up with two hidden loaded guns in my house for Christ sakes and my dad hadn’t even been patched in. But I also knew that Diego was a good man in the way Prosper was a good man. Loyal, dedicated, raw and flawed. After the Ellie thing, Diego only had eyes for me, he never came to me smelling like another woman, and he never came to me drunk or with a raised fist. Yet. Not yet. Time would tell.

  So I took my birth control pills and we fucked like rabbits and all was well. Until it wasn’t.

  Chapter 47

  “YOU’RE A FUCKING NURSE. HOW FUCKING STUPID CAN YOU BE, RAINE?”

  He made a fist and slammed it hard and right through the sheet rock over my head.

  Diego was breaking my heart. And he had been breaking it for the last twenty minutes.

  Breaking my heart into tiny irreplaceable pieces. Humpty Dumpty and his great fall didn’t have a thing on me. Nothing. All the kings’ horse and all the kings’ men stood not a chance at ever putting what was broken in me together again.

  Me and Humpty. We were fucked.

  He was still yelling at me. How could he still be yelling at me? Couldn’t he see he was shredding me apart?

  “YOU DO THIS. YOU DO THIS ALONE. I WANT NO PART OF IT. NOTHING. YOU DON’T PUT MY NAME ON THE FUCKING BIRTH CERTIFICATE. YOU DON’T SEND ME FUCKING BIRTHDAY PICTURES. I GOT NOTHING TO GIVE. WANT NOTHING IN RETURN. YOU GODDAMN STUPID LITTLE GIRL. HOW THE FUCK DID YOU THINK THIS WAS GONNA PLAY OUT, RAINE? YOU THINK WE GONNA BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN AND GET A HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS?”

  I pulled myself so far in he started fading away. I stopped hearing him.

  “OH NO YOU FUCKING DON’T. YOU DO NOT DO THAT. RAINE, YOU LOOK AT ME AND YOU LISTEN AND YOU LISTEN GOOD.YOU DO NOT HIDE FROM THIS.”

  And he grabbed my chin and pulled me hard to meet his eyes. He was hurting me. I tried to focus. Tried to come back from that place because if I did, if I let him punish me enough maybe he would go away and I would never ever have to see the bastard again.

  Yeah. I was back. Damn right I was back.

  I pulled chin out of his hand and gave him what he wanted

  And because the screaming and yelling of his repetitive bullshit wasn’t enough for the past half hour, he felt he had to say it one more time. I guess he must have been thinking that if I was stupid enough to get myself knocked up, I wasn’t smart enough to understand the fact that he wanted out the first five goddamn times he said it.

  “WE ARE DONE. THIS IS OVER. THERE IS NO HOPE FOR THAT FUCKING PICKET FENCE AND HAPPY FAMILY BULLSHIT. IT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN. NOT WITH ME. SO YOU DECIDE TO DO THIS, YOU DO THIS ALONE. DOCTORS VISITS, THAT ULTRA SOUND SHIT, FUCKING CHILDBIRTH CLASSES. THAT GUY AIN’T ME. THAT GUY AIN’T FUCKING ME. YOU DO THIS. YOU DO IT WITHOUT ME.”

  “You said that, Diego.” I hated him.

  “YEAH I SAID IT. I SAID A LOT OF THINGS. LIKE DID YOU FUCKING REMEMBER TO TAKE YOUR PILLS? HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO YOU THINK I SAID THAT, RAINE?

  “I did take them, you stupid jackass. How many times do I have to tell you? I TOOK THEM.”

  Glaring at him, I continued.

  “Except for I got a little messed up after the Gino thing and I was down for those few days. But we weren’t doing it then. And you knew I didn’t take them because you were with me every damn minute for three days.”

  I was exasperated and exhausted and heartsick and done. So the rest of it I said with a sense of resignation that I absolutely totally felt.

  “Maybe it was the meds that Jules gave me, maybe the stuff he gave me interacted with the pill. But I get it. My fault. My fuckup. You don’t want a kid. You don’t want a pregnant me. No name on the birth certificate, no birthday pictures. No happily ever after. I get it Diego. I do this, I do this on my own. And the fact that you felt you had to say it five different times in two different languages helped me to get that you are pretty clear on that. So me and this baby. My baby. We are on our own.”

  I slumped up against the wall. I was feeling dizzy, and my vision blurred as I heard the sound of my own heart breaking. It was a clean jagged sound, like the crackling of ice. I was afraid that when it stopped, I would fall straight through and drown in the sadness of it.

  Oh no I wouldn’t. Not me. Not this time. Not now. Not in front of him. I would not give him that.

  I caught my breath and pulled away from the door. I drew myself up to my full height. Instinctively putting my hands across a baby bump that was not there yet, I found the strength to go on.

  “Now let me be clear. After tonight, you saying the things you said, and you throwing those words at me not once, not twice but over and over again. You backing me up against a wall then raising your fist and punching a hole in it just inches above my head two minutes after I tell you I am carrying your baby. Those things, those words. I will never ever forgive you for them. Ever. You ever regret them, you crippled, you blind, you in a damn fucking old folks home and you think about the kid you threw away, you never ever ever come knocking on our door. As of right now, and for the rest of my life. No matter what. No matter what. You do not exist for me. So put your mind at ease, Diego about this baby, about me and about anything that has to do with us.

  “NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!” I walked to the door and threw it open.

  He looked at me for a full minute. Eyes burning nostrils flared

  “GET OUT.” I screamed. “GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT.”

  Diego turned from me then and punched another hole through another wall. Then he got out.

  Just as Diego was walking out, Claire and Glory walked in.

  Claire rushed over to me and Glory took a long hard look at the massive holes in the walls.

  “Well, I see that want well.” Glory had her hand on her hips.

  “Fucker.” Claire took my hand in hers.


  “Motherfucker.” Glory agreed and flanked me on the other side.

  “Motherfucking sonofabitch.” I added, not to be outdone.

  I almost started to cry. Almost. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. As horrible and unexpected and heartbreaking that scene with Diego had been, I didn’t want to cry.

  Because after years of watching for secrets, I had a secret of my own. And that secret came from a good place. That secret came from the best place of all. That secret was nestled within me, under my heart and deep in my core.

  I was going to have a baby.

  Chapter 48

  Prosper woke to the sound of someone banging hard on his front door. He rolled away from Pinky and reached for the piece he kept loaded on the bedside stand. Pinky got up quietly threw on her robe and stood beside her man.

  Prosper had the gun out as a precaution. If someone had meant them harm they would not have come banging at the door. They would have shot out windows or crept in and Prosper would have woken up with a knife at his throat or not woken up at all.

  No, this had to be a brother. It had happened before. Prosper’s house was off limits. He had made that clear long ago. Pinky’s rule and he stood by it. Pinky had wanted Prosper to have a sanctuary. She had worked hard to make a home from him away from the brothers. In Pinky’s eyes the clubhouse was a Sodom and Gomorrah. A place of unrepentant sin.

  She was not wrong.

  Anything went and no one gave a shit. The drinking, the whores, the drugs. The guns, the sex, the bare knuckled fights between brothers just for the hell of it. It was part of the life her man chose and a part of the life they led. But not all of it and not all the time.

  So the house was out of bounds. Off limits. Except for the most serious of shit storms, no one came to the house. That house sat on the side of a line that was not to be crossed. Crossing that line, knocking at that door meant involvement. Heavy involvement in some deep personal shit. Knocking on that door meant that you were so up in your personal that it was going to effect the club and you needed someone to know it. You needed help with that shit before it went to the table. Before it hit the brothers.