“It’s his loss, Geri. If it helps, I think he regrets it.”
She went still at that. “You talked to him about me?”
“A little. He’s a real character.”
“Yes. He is.”
“He’s also very proud of you.”
“Oh, Alex, don’t. You don’t have to say that.”
“I’m not just saying it. He told me so himself. Said his little girl graduated at the top of her class at Annapolis, that she ran circles around a hundred men for the job she has now. He may have been a lousy father. He may not know how to say it now, but he is proud of you.”
Geri swallowed a hard knot of emotion and blinked back tears.
“Now,” Alex said, “what did I do to remind you of your father?”
Heat flooded her cheeks. She didn’t want him to know this much about her, didn’t want anyone to. She wouldn’t have told anyone else but him, either. “God, I feel so stupid. It’s—”
“Geri? It’s not stupid.” He tilted her chin up so he could look at her. “If it’s enough to bring you to tears, it’s very, very important to me.”
“Is it?”
“Yes,” he groaned.
“That’s it,” she said. “That’s what I wanted. To be important to him. To be the most important thing in his life, and I never even came close. I’ve needed that all my life. I’ve been waiting for it. Isn’t that silly?”
“No. Everybody wants that. To find one person who’Il put you ahead of everybody else, who’ll always be there for you, no matter what. So,” he went on, “did you think I was out sunning myself on some island, sipping pretty little frozen drinks with umbrellas and flirting with some other woman?”
“No,” she said.
He frowned at her. “You sure about that?”
“I think so. I had an idea what Uncle Sam might put you through, but much as I hate to admit it, I’m not always rational where you’re concerned, Alex.”
“No!” he retorted in mock disbelief.
“You bring out the worst in me. And the best. How can that be?”
“I made you happy, Geri. Tell me, as crazy as it was out there, that I at least made you happy, just for a little while.”
“You did,” she said.
“I was coming to find you,” he said. “I just had to take care of a few things first. I hadn’t even seen my family. They kept them away, all this time. My sisters have been raising hell. I finally got to see them today, and then there was only one other person I needed. You.”
Geri started to cry then, like some silly, needy woman.
“Oh, babe,” he said. “Don’t.”
He went to wipe at her tears, but the cuffs got in the way.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, drawing her into his arms as best he could, settling her against the unrelenting heat and solidity of his oh-so-familiar body. “I was going for symbolism.”
“ ‘Symbolism’?” She got her second wind and managed to quip, “You’re going to hold me hostage, or what?”
He raised a brow at that. “It’s something to think about, assuming we can’t come to an amicable agreement.”
“About what?”
“You and me.”
“What about you and me?”
“You’ve got your little hang-ups with your father, and I guess I’ve got mine, too.”
“I remember. You change women about as regularly as some guys change the oil in their cars.”
“That’s not true.”
“I’ve seen the reports, remember.”
“I explained that to you,” he staid. “Remember?”
“Women have a nasty habit of leaving me. Of dying on me.” She remembered.
“It gets old, you know? Watching women who’ve become important to you disappear. Thinking you weren’t important enough to them to make them stay.”
Important enough? “Oh, Alex.”
He nodded. “We’re not that different, Geri. I used to lie in bed at night and think if they really loved me—my mother, my sisters—they would never have left me. I used to think, by definition, love didn’t hurt, but it does sometimes. It’s part of the risk we take. I know that now. I’m ready to risk everything with you. I’m not afraid of it any longer. And I’m not looking for any kind of guarantee, except that you love me, every bit as much as I love you, and that you’ll fight with everything you’ve got to stay with me, to make this work, no matter what.”
“Alex—”
“Shh.” The pads of two fingers came to rest against her lips. “Let me get this out before I kiss you. Because once I start, I’m not going to stop. Not for a long, long time. I had a lot of time to think in those months I was gone. All that time I’d been telling myself I was playing it safe not letting any woman be that important to me, and I’d just been plain lonely. Being in that shack in Texas, living in front of my computer, wasn’t that different from my normal life. Pretty sad, huh? Pretty stupid for a supposedly smart man.”
“You’re a brilliant man,” she said.
“I’m gettin’ there,” he said. “I made a promise to myself back in Texas. That if I ever got out of this mess, I was through with pushing people away. I was going to take a chance. I think love is worth the risks, Geri. I didn’t intend to dive in headfirst like this, but there you were. I’ve never met a woman like you. I’ve never met a woman I admired more or one I need more. Are you ready to talk about how important you are to me?”
Tears rolled down her cheeks. “We could talk about that.”
“I can’t breathe without you.” He smiled. “I get this odd little feeling in my chest, like my rib cage is shrinking or something, like I’m suffocating, and I think, I just need to see her. I need to be in the same room with her. I have to know she’s all right. I need for her to need me, every bit as much as I need her.”
“You really do?” she cried
He nodded. “I think that’s the real thing. I think that’s love. When you can’t even breathe for fear of losing someone, of imagining being forced to endure life without her. What do you think? You think that’s it?”
“You need a definition?”
“You know, I didn’t think to check the dictionary. There are probably whole books about this stuff. Love, relationships, feelings. There are probably tests and things we could use. I’m really good at tests.”
“So you’re proposing some kind of test project here?”
“No, I’m proposing, period. I’m proposing that we hop on that bike. The one parked at the curb.” He nodded toward the front window.
“I saw it,” she said.
“I have fond memories of that bike. And I’ve developed a real affinity for cheap motels with orange-and-lime-green bedspreads and some kind of bars on the headboard we can hook the cuffs around. I’ll bet the whole road between here and Wyoming is lined with those places.”
“Wyoming?” she echoed.
He nodded. “They sprang me loose from jail about nine o’clock this morning, and I’ve been busy. I made an offer on some real estate today. I haven’t seen the owner in person, but I picture him as a crusty old rancher who was born there and is about a hundred years old now. He didn’t want to sell an inch of his place. But I told him all about you. Told him I just needed a little bit on the side of a mountain, for purely sentimental reasons, and he gave in.”
“You’re buying that mountain in Wyoming? Our mountain?”
“A little bit of it. I told him a certain woman in my life thought it was a magical place, shooting stars and all, and I just had to take her back there. Someday soon, I hope. I’d like to be able to take her there anytime I want We could lie there on the fallen leaves and count all those stars, make all kinds of wishes. We could even take a blanket next time. What do you say, Geri?”
She couldn’t say anything. She only cried harder and held on to him.
“Can I take that as a yes?” he asked gently.
“To going back to Wyoming with you?”
“Well, C
hicago’s on the way. I thought we could make a brief stop there. You’re going to have to meet the family. Wait till you meet my nieces and nephews. They’re amazing. We probably should do the thing with the rings and the minister there. We’ll hurt their feelings if we leave them out of it. And then we’ll hop back on the bike. I want to spend our honeymoon on top of our mountain.”
“Our mountain?” She went to put her left hand against his cheek, forgetting once again that they were attached. Metal clinked together, and she felt a huge grin spread across her face. “With our handcuffs?”
“Wetl, it is a honeymoon.” He smiled. “What do you say, babe?”
“I think it sounds like a brilliant plan.”
“Did I mention that I love you?”
“You were backpedaling, wanting to consult some scientific research on that point,”
He shook his head. “I do, Geri. I love you. I always will. And you’re already the most important person in the world to me. I won’t ever let you forget that.”
“I love you, too, Alex. I love you for working so hard to teach me to laugh, for caring about whether I have a smile on my face. For taking me on moonlit rides on cold, mountain roads and for dragging out all my secrets, for refusing to let me put the walls back up. I love you. And I promise, I’ll never, ever leave you.”
He gave her one searing kiss and wrapped his arms around her as best he could, considering the fact that they seemed to be permanently attached by a short metal chain, then said, “Hop on the bike with me, babe. Let’s go.”
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” she asked, raising her bound hand. “You think you can ride with these on?”
“I can do anything.” He grinned. “And the cuffs don’t come off until I get a wedding ring on your finger.”
ISBN : 978-1-4592-5893-8
SPIES, LIES AND LOVERS
Copyright © 1999 by Teresa Hill
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 300 East 42nd Street. New York, NY 10017 U.S.A.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
® and TM are trademarks of Harlequin Books S.A., used under license. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.
Spies, Lies and Lovers Page 23
