Silver Bush: Awkward Book Three

by Heller, JB

  The delicate clearing of a throat snaps me out of my Lee-induced daze, and my head snaps in Charlotte’s direction. Right, introductions. “Lee, this is Charlotte,” I say, gesturing across the table with a sweep of my hand. “And Reagan. They’re in town for the weekend; Char is dating Eli Marshall.”

  Lee tips his head to them politely. “Nice to meet you, ladies.”

  Reagan extends a hand to him. “Nice to finally meet you, Lee.”

  His brows bunch slightly. “Finally?” he asks.

  Charlotte’s grin is blinding. “We were actually just talking about you,” she explains. “It’s so lovely to put a face to the name.”

  Lee’s eyes track back and forth between Charlotte and Reagan, then they skirt over to me. A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, and I swear my cheeks redden.

  “Would you like to join us?” Charlotte offers.

  “Sure, just let me put in my order. I’ll be right back.” He winks at me then returns to the short line at the counter.

  I drop my head to the tabletop with a soft thunk.

  “Don’t be so dramatic. We’re doing you a solid,” Charlotte says.

  I lift my head and glare at her. “How do you figure that?”

  She rolls her eyes. “Your kids are with their dad this weekend, and your past flame is in town … It’s time to reconnect, honey.” She makes a lude gesture with her hands when she says reconnect, and Reagan giggles.

  I bolt upright. “Are you insane? I just told you the whole freaking story of how I broke both our hearts when I got pregnant with another guy’s baby right after we broke up. How do you jump to us reconnecting from that?”

  “The longing in your pretty eyes told me more than your words, sweets.” Char rests her hand over mine on the table and smiles gently. “I didn’t say you have to jump his bones tonight, but you two have a lot to catch up on. Now is as good a time as any.”

  “Agreed,” Reagan chimes in. “Plus, the dude’s H.O.T. Like, smokin’. He’s got that whole Tom Welling in Smallville vibe going for him—you know, like in the later seasons—and I’m totally digging it.”

  “But ...” I blink at them, trying to come up with an excuse. I am so totally not ready for this.

  Char shakes her head. “It’s time. And you look gorgeous today—no mismatched shoes or nasty band tees.” She cringes at the mention of a band tee then gathers her box of goodies and slides her handbag over her shoulder.

  Reagan follows suit by slipping her cross-body bag over her head before she waggles her brows at me. “Get on it, girly.” Then she trails Char out of the booth.

  My heart rate skyrockets. “Where are you going?”

  “Eli and the boys will be waiting for these.” Char gestures to the goodie box. “Call us later with the goss.” She drops air kisses on each of my cheeks, as does Reagan, then they walk away. They pause by Lee, say something to him I can’t hear—damnit—and then they’re gone.

  I turn back around and stare at the empty seat across from me then take a deep, steadying breath. My pulse is frantic and erratic. I rest a slightly shaking palm over my chest and close my eyes.

  I know they’re right, but it doesn’t mean I’m ready for it. I’m nervous, excited, and terrified. Great. Not what I’d call a winning combination.

  I had intended to grab a coffee to go, but I can’t turn down an opportunity to spend some time with Till, especially after her friends made a point of telling me they were leaving so I could have her all to myself. I place my order and stride over to Till’s booth. Her eyes are squeezed shut, and she has a hand pressed over her heart, and my breath catches in my throat. I stand there just taking her in for a few more moments—she’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

  Her eyes snap open, landing right on me.

  “Hey,” I murmur.

  A soft smile tugs at her full lips. “Hey,” she breathes back.

  I slide into the booth opposite her, my long legs tangling with hers under the table. Neither of us speak. We just look at each other, and I take in every new little detail about her. We’re so focused on each other that I don’t even notice McKenna placing my coffee and vanilla slice on the timber tabletop by my elbow.

  “Just like old times,” McKenna says.

  We look up at her in unison. Her smile is sweet and sad.

  “I’ve missed you two coming in here,” she says. “It’s good to see you together again.”

  I don’t get a chance to reply before she leaves us. I’m not sure what I would have said anyway.

  My hands curl around my coffee mug to keep them from reaching for Till, and I ask the first thing that comes to my mind. “No kids today?”

  She shakes her head, her pretty, light-pink hair grazing the tops of her shoulders with the movement. “They’re with Curt. He or his parents take them every second weekend.”

  I nod. I knew they had split—Dad mentioned it at the time. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy about it. That guy is a douche.

  Tilly chuckles. “I can see your mind working over there. I know you don’t like Curt, but he’s a good dad.”

  “Hmmm ...” It’s all I give her.

  She shakes her head, but she’s still smiling softly. “I don’t blame you for not liking him. But seriously, he’s not a bad guy.”

  I take a sip of my coffee. May as well get right to the heart of it. “So, what made you two decide to end it?”

  “We don’t love each other. I mean, we do, but that’s because of the kids. They were the only thing that connected us. We got along fine; we still do. But it was more like we were good roommates. We were never a love match, which you know.

  “Anyway, he got a job offer in the city, and I didn’t want to go. I’ve got friends and family here, support. I’d have nobody if I went to the city. So, we decided it was time. We gave it a good try, we really did.” She shrugs and picks up her own coffee and takes a drink, leaving a small foam moustache when she’s done.

  I can’t stop myself. I reach out and slide my thumb over her top lip, wiping it away. My fingertips graze her cheek, and she closes her eyes, leaning into my touch. God, I’ve missed this.

  Reluctantly, I release her but not before I twirl a strand of her hair around my finger, loving the softness against my skin. Sitting back, I pick up my vanilla slice and take a bite.

  Tilly rubs the back of her neck, her gaze fixed on her coffee. “So, what about you? Do you have a girlfriend waiting for you back home?”

  My brows furrow. “No,” I scoff. How does she not know this? “I would have thought you’d be aware of my relationship status. I assumed Trudie kept you as up to date as Dad keeps me about everything going on back here.”

  She swallows, still not meeting my eyes. “I, umm … I asked her not to. It was …” She chews her bottom lip for a moment. “… it was too hard.”

  I reach for her again. This time, I take her hand from the table and squeeze it. “Look at me, Till.” She closes her eyes briefly before bringing them to mine. “I get it. It was hard for me to hear about you too.”

  Her eyes shine with unshed tears, and a lump the size of a baseball settles in my throat. Why did I stay away so damn long? I should have come back sooner.

  “I thought about telling Dad to keep news of you to himself. But I couldn’t. And after a while, I looked forward to those little glimpses into your life. Knowing you were happy … it’s what kept me sane. Make no mistake, Till, I’ve thought about you every single day since I left. But I couldn’t stay and watch you with Curt. I just couldn’t.”

  She nods, a single tear escaping. “I know,” she whispers then swipes at her cheek with the hand I’m not holding. She takes a deep breath, shakes her head, and blinks a few times.

  My thumb strokes back and forth over the hammering pulse point in her wrist. “Can I see you while I’m here?”

  “What do you mean?” she asks, an adorable frown creasing her brows.

  “Go out with me, on a date, or five ...�
�

  Her brows shoot up. “What?”

  I shrug in a lame attempt to look casual when I feel anything but. My stomach is in knots; my heart beats so fast I feel it throughout my entire body. “You know how I feel about you, Till—always have and always will. Six years changed nothing for me. Go out with me.”

  She chews on her lip again, then—thanks to all that is holy—she nods. “Okay.”

  The next evening, I’m pacing my bedroom. Why did I agree to this?

  The reasons Lee and I broke up are still relevant. His dad, Al, and my mum, Trudie, are married, making him my stepbrother, which is just eww. And if that wasn’t bad enough, we share a sibling. Our baby sister, Dixie, is only four months older than my oldest daughter, Astrid. It’s weird. Super freaking weird.

  Dropping my head back, I stare at the ceiling, then “T-shirt” by Thomas Rhett starts blaring from my phone, and I scoop it up from my comforter. Charlotte’s name flashes on the screen. “Hey,” I answer.

  “What are you wearing? Tell me!” she demands.

  I can’t help my laughter. “A towel ...”

  Her huff fills the line, and I laugh again. “Very funny,” she retorts.

  She’s rolling her eyes at me right now, I just know it, and it makes me smile.

  “What are you wearing on your date tonight, you cow.”

  I sigh. “I don’t know. I’m actually having second thoughts about all of this. He’s my stepbrother, Char.”

  “Heck yeah he is. It’s like a steamy romance novel come to life, girl. Jump on it.” She says this like I’m the luckiest woman in the world.

  My head drops, and I rub my temples with my free hand. “Seriously, what the hell kind of books are you reading?”

  She scoffs. “Honey, if you’ve never read one, you’re missing out. You need to get on that—and your incidentally sexy-as-shit stepbrother, too, while you’re at it.”

  “I don’t know why I even talk to you about this stuff,” I groan.

  “Because you need someone to spell it out for you. It’s not that big of a deal, babe. You’re making it an issue when it doesn’t need to be. You’re a grown-arse woman. You can be with whomever you want.”

  I run my hand through my damp hair. “But I’m not the girl he fell in love with anymore. I’m a mother. I’ve given birth three times, Char. That changes a woman, like, down there.” I whisper the last part.

  “I’m sure he can handle all the changes, babe. But you’ll never know if you don’t give him that chance.”

  I nod, then snort, because dah, she can’t see me. “Okay.” I take a deep breath. “Okay, you’re right.”

  “Dah,” she says. “Now, what are you going to wear?”

  Finally, a spark of excitement ripples through me, and I approach my closet.

  An hour later, I’m dressed in a pair of cream, high-waisted linen shorts with huge pockets because pockets are life. My boobs look amazing in the best bra I own underneath a soft, loose-fitting cami, and I’m wearing heels for the first time in a long time.

  I check my reflection in the mirror, making sure my makeup is just right.

  I smile. I tidy up okay.

  A knock sounds from the front door, and I check the clock on my bedside table. He’s early. I snatch my bag off the end of my bed and race out of my room. I’m so intent on reaching the front door I don’t even see Ari’s fake pearl necklace hanging out of the toybox across the floor ... I go down—hard.

  I slide my hand into my pocket after knocking on Tilly’s front door and wait. I know I’m early, but I figure I can sit on her couch and get a feel for her space if she’s not ready. Then, a high-pitched squeal pierces the air.

  I’m turning the handle on the front door and throwing it open in seconds. I don’t know what I expected to find, but it was not the scene I’m greeted with.

  Tilly is on her hands and knees in front of me, and I’ve got a clear view right down the front of her top. I can’t tear my eyes away from her beautiful breasts that are somewhat larger than I remember.

  “A little help ...” she says.

  “Shit, Till. What happened?” I ask as I help her to her feet.

  She keeps her hands wrapped around my wrists when we’re standing then glances at her feet. “I tripped on Ari’s necklace.” She lifts one foot, winces, then mutters, “Crap.”

  “What?”

  “I broke my shoe and possibly my knees.” Her forehead creases as she squeezes her eyes shut and sucks in a harsh breath.

  I move, sliding one arm behind her knees, the other around her waist, pick her up, and take her to the couch where I sit, cradling her in my arms. She hooks her elbow around my neck. God it feels good.

  She has curves now that she didn’t have when we were teens. And I like them a lot. My arm curled around her back tightens, tugging her in closer to my body. It’s been too long since I had her this close.

  “I’m okay, Lee, really. I’ll be fine. We can go,” she says.

  I have zero interest in ending this moment—besides the fact that I’m pretty sure she really did hurt her knees. I shake my head. “We don’t have to go anywhere. How about you put your feet up and I’ll get you an ice pack? We can order a pizza instead of going out.”

  Her gaze lingers on my lips as I speak, and my blood rushes south. Fuck. I need to get her out of my lap before she feels what she’s doing to me. I slide her to the side, lowering her butt to the cushion beside me as I swing out from under her.

  My eyes trace down her long bare legs, and I swallow. Jesus. I always did love those legs. Especially when they were wrapped around me.

  My dirty trip down Memory Lane is pulled to a screeching halt at the sight of the swelling and bruising that’s already started on both her knees.

  Hovering over her, I sweep a few strands of hair from her eyes, tucking them behind her ear, then kiss her temple because I just can’t help myself. “You got an ice pack or bag of peas in your freezer?”

  She nods. “I’ve got three kids; I have ice packs.”

  Right, of course. I straighten and go in search of her kitchen. It’s not hard to find. Her house has a pretty open plan, putting the kitchen just around the corner from the lounge we’re in. I grab a Disney Princess ice pack and a Buzz Lightyear one from the freezer, then take a couple of cloths that hang from the oven door and wrap them.

  When I return, Till’s removed her strappy heels and is chewing her bottom lip. I place the ice packs on her tender knees, and if I wasn’t watching her so closely, I would have missed the wince. “You okay?”

  “Just dandy,” she mutters, glaring at something.

  I follow the path of her glare to a little fake-pearl necklace laying on the floor. She may hate that thing right now, but I’m not complaining. Because of it, I got her in my arms a hell of a lot sooner than I was anticipating. I grin and cup her jaw, turning it to face me. “Pizza sound good?”

  “I can’t believe I ruined our date before it even started.”

  “You didn’t. I actually prefer this,” I tell her honestly. “I get you all to myself.”

  She finally gifts me with a smile. “Okay. Pizza sounds good.” She slides her phone from her pocket. “You still like Meatlovers?”

  I nod and she makes the call to place the order while I gently lift her legs and slide in under them. I place them in my lap and throw my arm over the back of the couch as I turn to face her. She is absolutely breathtaking. Her pink hair hangs in soft curls around her face as she stares at me in return.

  When she ends the call, I tell her what’s on my mind. “I should have come home sooner.”

  “I get why you didn’t,” she says. “I hurt you. If I could have run, I would have.”

  A lump forms in my throat. I did run away. After our parents shocked the shit out of us by secretly dating and accidently making a baby together, Tilly broke up with me. I could handle that as long as I still had her in my life. But then, in an attempt to drown her sorrows, she hit the party scene and ende
d up pregnant. That had been my breaking point.

  Her eyes search mine, and I let her see the pain in them. “You didn’t hurt me intentionally. I know that. I just couldn’t hang around to watch you making a go of it with Curt. It was too much. When I heard you two split up, I almost came back.”

  She gasps. “What?”

  I take a deep breath and let it all out. I’ve done a lot of thinking since I saw her in the grocery store, and I need her to know where my head’s at.

  I take her hand, lacing our fingers, and squeeze. “You were my best friend, and I thought that was what I missed the most when I first left. But after three failed attempts at moving on, I realised I missed more than our friendship. I measured every girl I met against you. And none of them came close.”

  “Lee,” she breathes.

  “Just let me talk for a minute, Till. I need to say this.”

  She nods. “Okay,” she whispers then squeezes my hand back.

  “It’s always been you for me. I understand why you didn’t feel like we could be together back then. But, Till, babe, it’s still you. I didn’t come home straight away because I knew you wouldn’t be ready to hear all this—you needed time.” I pause, letting everything I feel for her come to the surface, hoping she sees it. “I want to give this—us—a real chance.”

  “You do?” she asks so softly I only just catch it.

  “I do. So damn much. I know things are different now, but I can’t imagine the way I feel about you ever changing.”

  She looks away, staring at seemingly nothing. “I have three kids, Lee. It wouldn’t just be me you’re dating. And Curt will always be a part of my life. I can’t regret being with him. He treated me like a princess, and he’s an amazing father. If you really want to do this, you need to accept that.”

  “I can do that,” I reply immediately. I don’t want her to doubt me for even a second.

  Her eyes return to mine. “Astrid is a handful. She and Dixie are besties, which still weirds me out sometimes, especially when Dixie tells people Astrid is her niece. Sailor is constantly blurting out inappropriate things at the very best times. And Ari? Well, she’s a typical three-year-old. My life isn’t even a little bit simple, and that’s a lot for anyone to take on.”