If It Isn't Love

by Hodges, Cheris

  “And dessert?”

  “I’ll surprise you,” Ingrid said. “I’ve got to get back inside.”

  Christina offered her friend a mock salute and got into the car. As she peeled out of the parking lot, Ingrid shook her head and laughed to herself. No matter how much of a pain Christina could be, she was glad to have her no nonsense friend in her life. Even if she did ask too many questions and forced her to face her biggest fear — telling Jason the truth.

  Chapter Two

  Jason left the radio station with one thought in his mind, a chicken dinner from the best and only soul food restaurant in town, Soul To The Bone. Once when he had been on a promotional tour, his bus passed through Elmore on the way to Columbia, South Carolina and they made a stop at the restaurant. The food had been amazing. He was so happy when the restaurant started a web site and he could order his favorite down home meals. Since he was the brightest star in the record company’s universe, they did everything they could to keep him happy, including paying the cost to have food shipped from South Carolina to everywhere Jay Slade was. Though his favorite meals were calorie laden dishes that could add ten pounds to any man, Jason was blessed to have a high metabolism and a healthy obsession (read: Def Jam mandated) with working out. His abs was the stuff of legends, which is probably why he hadn’t taken a picture with a shirt on in nearly two years. He’d been tapped by Madison Avenue to model for Ed Hardy’s urban campaign for the company’s underwear line. Ruby had told him that he should write a fitness book like L.L. Cool J. Jay had balked. He didn’t want to copy the hip-hop legend, especially since music was his true love and not physical fitness. Besides, how was he going to tell people to stay away from the foods he loved? All he needed was to write that book and have some paparazzo to catch him munching on a hunk of red velvet cake.

  As he approached the restaurant, he smiled at the small building. It fit Elmore’s downtown area perfectly. The black and white building had huge windows and you could see everything going on inside the bustling restaurant. Jason watched for a moment, looking at the people enjoying their meals, talking and smiling with each other. It felt good to be home. Wait a minute. Was that her behind the counter? Of course it was her and God was she beautiful. The years had been kind to Ingrid and her body was still curvy and voluptuous, even if she was wearing an oversized white shirt and black knit pants. She had her long brown hair pulled back in a pony tail that showed the brightness of her caramel complexion and sparkling brown eyes. As she talked to one of the restaurant patrons, she smiled and touched his shoulder. For some reason, that move made him heat with jealousy. What if that man was more than a customer? Was that the man she’d married?

  Shaking his head, Jason couldn’t believe that Ingrid was married. When he heard that she’d gotten married, he’d thought it was a joke. They hadn’t even been broken up that long and he’d had every intention of returning to Elmore to reclaim her heart. But every time he tried to make the trip home, something got in the way. First, it was the tour with Debony. Then when he’d decided to make his second trip to Elmore, he’d heard that she had married Louis Harrington and was pregnant. Part of him had hoped to be the man that would father any of Ingrid’s children but she had moved on and created a family with another man. He was heartbroken and wanted to hate the man who had moved him out of Ingrid’s heart. Maybe that’s who she was talking to in the restaurant and if that were the case, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go in there and be a part of that. What would he say to Ingrid and her husband? Hello, I’m here to make your wife love me again? Still, Jason was starving and he was going to go into the restaurant and get something to eat. He parked his red 1967 Mustang Fastback and got out of the car. Since the crowd in the restaurant was light and most of the people were older, Jason wasn’t worried about being accosted by rabid fans wanting his autograph.

  He opened the door to the restaurant and the bell above the door chimed. Ingrid’s head shot up and their eyes met. Something, an emotion he couldn’t read, washed over her face. Jason crossed over to the counter; some of the other diners looked at him and smiled.

  “Ingrid Russell, it’s so good to see you,” Jason said as he reached the counter and held his hand out to her.

  Ingrid folded her arms across her full bosom, causing him to make an effort to keep his eyes on her beautiful face. “It’s Harrington now,” she said, not taking his hand and speaking in a tone so cold, even her customer shivered.

  Jason smiled and pressed on. “I know or I heard and couldn’t believe it,” he said.

  Ingrid didn’t try to smile or keep up the appearance of business as usual. “What did you think, Jay Slade, that my life was going end because we broke up?”

  At the mention of the name Jay Slade, all of the heads in the restaurant turned to catch a glimpse of their favorite son. “Ingrid, I never thought. . .”

  “What did you think, Jason? That I was going to sit around and wait for the day that you would come back and maybe do what Ruby suggested and lose fifty pounds? I found someone who loved me for who I was and accepted every part of me.”

  “Ingrid,” Jason said in a low voice, “I wish I could make up for everything that happened between us. I messed up.”

  “Yes, you did.”

  Jason nodded and reached out for her hand but Ingrid didn’t return the gesture and he dropped his hand. “I’m sorry.”

  Ingrid smirked. “Am I supposed to just fall into your arms and say I forgive you? Whatever,” she said then walked into the kitchen. A couple of waitresses rushed up to Jason, screaming and begging for an autograph. He signed their aprons quickly and then hopped over the counter and dashed into the kitchen.

  “Ingrid,” he said.

  Startled, she turned around and tried to hide the water in her eyes. Jason saw the pain in her face and he remembered the last time he caused her to cry. He closed the space between them and awkwardly drew her into his arms. For a second, Ingrid didn’t protest him holding her. She leaned against his hard chest and relaxed. Then, as if she’s been sitting on a hot stove top, she pushed away from him. “Why are you back here? This isn’t a public area,” she said.

  “I know it isn’t public and if I’m overstepping my boundaries, then I’m sorry and I’ll apologize to your husband, but I had to see you. You’re the whole reason I’m doing this concert here.”

  Ingrid wiped her eyes with the tips of her fingers as she turned her back to him. “My husband really wouldn’t appreciate you being here,” she said.

  Jason closed his hand around her shoulder. “Then why isn’t he in here working with you? If you were my woman, there’s no way I’d have you out here working like this.”

  Ingrid shrugged his hand from her shoulder. “I was your woman, remember. I just didn’t fit your image. You chose your career over what we had and now you’re standing here pretending that . . What, did you get dropped from your label? Is that really why you’re here?”

  Jason shook his head, his lips curved into a slight smile. “I’m here for two reasons, for dinner and to tell you I’m sorry.”

  “That’s not a news flash, I know you’re sorry, Jason,” she snapped as she whirled around to face him. An avalanche of emotions cascaded down over her and her heart skipped several beats as she looked into his dazzling black eyes. How did he become more handsome, yet keep the same qualities that she fell in love with? It was a struggle for her to keep her anger flashing in her eyes because she desperately wanted to fall into his arms and run her fingers through his thick locs.

  “Ingrid," Jason intoned. “I was wrong. But you seemed to get over it pretty quickly. Congratulations on your wedding.”

  She didn’t have to struggle to be mad anymore. Ingrid fixed her mouth to curse Jason for everything he was worth when her cell phone rang. She pulled the small silver phone from her apron pocket. “Hello?” she breathed.

  Jason watched her as she talked, focusing squarely on her full lips. All he could think about was kissing them. Husband or
not, he wanted this woman back.

  But when he heard her say, “Yes, baby, I love you too and I’ll be home soon.” His heart was crushed. Then his blood heated, a real man would work at night and allow his wife to stay home. Anything could happen to Ingrid as she drove home and worked in the evenings. Elmore was a small town but it didn’t mean that it was immune from crime.

  Jason crossed over to Ingrid as she hung up the phone. “What are you . . .”

  He cut her off with a soul stirring kiss, not giving a damn about the husband she was going home to. The warmth of her mouth and the sweetness of her tongue made him weak. He’d missed her so much. No other woman tasted like Ingrid. She was sweet like fresh berries, she was tangy like life. Her kiss told a story. Most women just kiss with reckless abandon. Ingrid kissed with a purpose, fire, desire and yearning. Jason felt as if she hadn't been kissed properly in years. He enveloped her in his arms savoring the feel of her ample curves against him. She felt like a real woman, no silicone, no injections to make her lips plump. She was all natural and he wanted her to be all his--again.

  Ingrid placed her hand against his chest, lost in time as they kissed. Gone were all of the bad memories, the lies and the heartache. But her mind returned to the present and she pulled away from him then slapped him as hard as she could. “Don’t you ever touch me again,” she shouted, not worrying or caring if the patrons in the restaurant heard her. “Get out of here, Jason.”

  “I’ll leave now, but I’ll be back.” Jason walked out of the kitchen and back into the dining room. He was about to leave when he remembered his real reason for coming there. He was hungry, though kissing Ingrid had temporarily fulfilled one need. As he waved down a waitress to take his order, he licked his lips reliving the kiss in the kitchen. He could still taste her essence on his bottom lip and he wanted more. Husband or not. How much of a relationship do they have if she kissed me like that? he thought before ordering a fried chicken dinner with a side of mashed potatoes and cornbread.

  While waiting for his order, Ingrid walked into the dining room. “Why are you still here?” she demanded.

  “Waiting for my dinner. I can eat here, can’t I?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Dina,” she called out. “I’m going home. I’ll be back to close up.” Ingrid turned on her heels and stormed out of the restaurant.

  Ingrid hopped in her car and exhaled loudly feeling as if she hadn't taken a breath since she laid eyes on Jason. Why did he have to show up tonight? Was this fate’s way of stepping in and showing her that she couldn't hide from him? Sighing, she started her engine and headed home to hug her son. She needed to see DeShawn because he was the one thing in her life that wasn't complicated. Her little boy was her life. Raising him in Elmore gave him a chance to have a simple life, just as hers had been when she was a child and before she’d fallen in love with Jason Campbell.

  Love would never be something DeShawn would have to worry about. He was surrounded by it because his smile and chubby cheeks made the whole town fall in love with him. Her mother, Lois Russell, did everything in her power to spoil DeShawn. Ingrid always wondered if her mother would be so loving to her son if she knew the truth about his parentage. Lois Russell hadn’t believed that Jason Campbell would make it as a singer and she felt as if he would bring her daughter down by dragging her all over the country while he chased his dreams. She had told Ingrid that Jason was selfish and would do nothing but break her heart. Ingrid always hated it when her mother was right. Because Jason hurt her as deeply as he had, she didn’t want to open DeShawn up to that pain. That’s why he and the whole town thought Louis Harrington was DeShawn’s father. She’d shielded him from the truth for three years and she was going to continue to do so. Louis Harrington was the only father DeShawn needed--even if he was dead. Ingrid pulled into the driveway of the two story brick house Louis left her and DeShawn. Dragging herself from her car, Ingrid walked slowly into the house, not wanting to hear Christina’s mouth about Jason.

  “I’m home,” Ingrid said as she walked into the house.

  “Mommy,” DeShawn yelled from the kitchen, then he ran into the living room to meet his mother and hug her.

  Ingrid knelt down and hugged him tightly. “What did aunt Chrissy get you for dinner?” she asked when she let him go.

  “We had hamburgers and apple fries,” he said. “They were raw!”

  Ingrid looked up at Christina and nodded thanks for incorporating fresh fruit into DeShawn’s dinner. “I forgot to pack something from the restaurant, so I’ll cook if you’re still hungry,” she said to her friend.

  “I guess all of the excitement that happened would cause you to forget that you had a best friend to feed.”

  “What excitement?” Ingrid asked as she kissed DeShawn on the cheek.

  “You are a L-I-A-R,” she replied.

  “Mommy, why is Auntie calling you a liar?” DeShawn asked.

  Ingrid and Christina laughed. “Boy, you are too smart,” Christina said. “Why don’t you go and get your surprise for Mommy?”

  He dashed upstairs to his bedroom and Christina turned to her friend with a smirk on her face. “I got a call from Dina; seems as though a certain R&B singer was all up in your face before you left.”

  Ingrid rolled her eyes. “People around here just talk too damned much,” she snapped.

  “How was it?”

  “How was what?” Ingrid asked, trying to sound unaffected.

  Christina folded her arms across her chest. “You know what the hell I mean. How was seeing him again?”

  Before Ingrid could tell her friend that seeing Jason meant nothing to her, DeShawn came downstairs holding his painting. “Look, Mommy.”

  Ingrid took the canvas from his hands and smiled. She had no idea what she was looking at but it was beautiful because DeShawn made it. The paper was streaked with green, red, blue and brown paint. There was a drawing in the center of what she thought was a woman. “This is beautiful,” she exclaimed.

  “It’s you,” he said.

  “I’m going to hang this in the kitchen,” she said then bent down and kissed DeShawn on the forehead. “Thank you.”

  He smiled and wrapped his little arms around his mother’s neck. “May I have some ice cream?”

  “Sure,” Ingrid said, suddenly feeling the need for something cool to calm her down. She hadn’t even wanted to tell Christina that she saw Jason and she didn’t want to think about that kiss again. But she couldn’t help it, couldn’t think about anything else. It had been a long time since she was kissed so thoroughly and passionately. She hadn’t made love to a man since the last night she and Jason spent together. That was more than three years ago and until today; she’d been fine with that.

  As she scooped chocolate ice cream into a bowl for DeShawn, Christina sat at a bar stool and stared at her friend. “You know I’m not leaving until you tell me what happened,” she said. “So, you might as well fix me a bowl of the good stuff.”

  Ingrid laughed and reached into the freezer and pulled out a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. “Is this what you’re talking about?” she asked as she waved the container.

  “You know it.”

  Ingrid filled a bowl for herself and friend and the three of them ate in silence until DeShawn hollered out, “I’m finished.”

  “All right, little man, it’s time for bed,” Ingrid said as she placed his bowl and hers in the sink. Christina was munching on a second helping of ice cream.

  “I’ll be right here when you finish washing him up,” Christina said. “Do you have any nuts?”

  “Just you,” Ingrid said as she and DeShawn headed upstairs.

  Chapter Three

  It took two hours for Jason to leave the restaurant and not because the service was slow. The word had gotten out that he was at Soul to The Bone and it seemed the entire town showed up seeking autographs and pictures. Although he was tired and wanted to go to the hotel and rest, he took pictures and signed CDs until Dina ran
everyone out of the restaurant.

  “I’m sorry about that,” she said when the last fan left.

  “That’s all right,” he replied. “Is Ingrid coming back?”

  Dina shrugged. “She usually does. But it’s after she puts Shawn to bed and everything.”

  “Shawn? That’s her husband?”

  Dina laughed. “No, that’s her little boy. He’s so cute and funny. He’s about three now, I think. Smart as a whip but with parents like his, he doesn’t have a choice. It’s a shame that Mr. H isn’t around to see his boy grow up and see what Miss Ingrid is doing with this restaurant. She’s a genius, you know.”

  “He’s not around?” Jason asked. He was certain that Ingrid had said she was still married and wasn’t she talking to her husband on the phone? He still couldn’t believe Ingrid was a mother; but not the mother of his child. Jason wanted a wife and children but he wanted that woman to be Ingrid, not someone who wanted to marry Jay Slade. She knew him before the fame and loved him. But will she love you again? Jason shook his head and focused on what Dina was telling him.

  “It was a horrible accident. He was on his way back from Atlanta and they say he fell asleep at the wheel. Some people say he was down there doing something he didn’t have no business doing. But Miss Ingrid doesn’t say nothing bad about him. He took care of his family.”

  “What did people say he was doing?” Jason asked, even though he knew people in Elmore gossiped about everybody, true or not. Still, he had to know if Ingrid’s husband had been cheating on her or doing anything to hurt her. Like you have room to be angry.

  “Well, I don’t want to say because it’s just gossip,” Dina said as she began to wipe the counter down. “Didn’t you and Miss Ingrid grow up together?”

  “Yes we did,” he said.

  “Wow,” she said. “She never talks about knowing you, but everybody else in town does.”

  “Well, Ingrid has always been a quiet person, you know,” he said as he rose to his feet. “Miss Dina, thank you for taking care of me this evening.” Jason reached into his wallet and pulled out a one-hundred dollar bill. “For your troubles.” And for the juicy information you gave me.