If It Isn't Love

by Hodges, Cheris

  “You haven’t been gone that long, it’s always quiet.”

  “And your neighbors can’t see over that privacy fence?” he questioned.

  Ingrid furrowed her brows as Jason walked her up the steps and planted her in the rocking chair on the edge of the wrap around porch. “What are you doing?” she asked when he dropped to his knees. Jason didn’t answer her as he snaked his hand up her calf.

  “Jason,” she moaned as his hand reached her inner thigh.

  “Shh,” he commanded softly as he slipped his finger inside her silky panties. Ingrid gasped as his finger teased her wet folds of flesh. With his other hand, Jason stroked her thigh causing her to tremble, grow wetter and hotter. Plunging deeper into her valley, he found her center, her sweet, throbbing bud. Licking his lips, Jason pushed the crotch of her panties to the side, then he eased down her body and planted his face between her thighs. Ingrid shifted in her seat, thrusting her hips forward into Jason’s lips. He held her hips tightly as he slowly kissed her puckering lips, then in a swift motion, he darted his tongue between those lips. Ingrid shivered as he repeated the motion two times and then he sucked gently on her throbbing bud. Moaning, Ingrid arched her back and gave Jason full access to her passion. Using his fingers and his tongue, Jason sent ripples of pleasure throughout her body. He lapped up the sticky sweet nectar that poured from her body. “Ooh,” Ingrid moaned as Jason pressed his tongue deeper inside her. She clasped her thighs against his head, urging him to give her more. Jason was more than happy to oblige and increased the intensity of his kiss, lavishing her slick bud with his tongue. She felt her climax building, it had been so long since she’d felt this way, since her body had sang such a sensual tune. It had been so long since her body had been kissed and caressed. Just as she was about to explode, Jason pulled back.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she breathed.

  “I want to make love to you and I want you to let go,” he said. “I want you to give me every part of you, the good, the bad and the sexy. Can you do that?”

  “Yes,” she said as she took Jason’s outstretched hand and rose to her feet. Ingrid unlocked the front door, her hands shivering as she placed the key in the lock. When she opened that door, she knew there would be no turning back. Every rational thought in her head was silenced by her yearning and hunger for Jason.

  When she unlocked the door, Jason pushed it open and walked in behind her. Tugging at her waist, he turned her around and pressed his body against hers. He sought out her lips and kissed her long and slow. Ingrid’s knees buckled as his hands roamed her back. The feel of his hot hands against her skin sent jolts through her system. He reached up and gripped her shoulders, slipping the straps of her dress down until her bra was exposed. Jason massaged her breasts, easing his hands inside the cups of her bra. Her nipples were hard and begging for him taste them. Breaking off the kiss, Jason led her over to the leather sofa.

  “Jason,” she said. “We can’t do this here.”

  “I know. This is just a start,” he said before kneeling and taking one of her firm breasts into his mouth. Flicking his tongue across her nipple, caused Ingrid to howl in delight. Her body was tense with desire and she wanted him inside her immediately. Jason continued traversing her body with his tongue, tasting the sweetness of her body and remembering how he used to relish kissing her. He slipped one hand between her thighs, seeking her wetness – again. Jason stroked her back and forth as he continued kissing her breasts and suckling them with an ardent fever. Ingrid squirmed and moaned as her desire pooled between her thighs, drenching his hand.

  “Jason,” she called out in a staggered breath. “Need. You. Now.”

  “Where’s your bedroom?” he asked as he released her nipple from his mouth.

  Unable to speak, she pointed at the stairs. Jason stood and allowed Ingrid to lead him up the stairs. He couldn’t wait to lay her body against her sheets and melt with her. As Ingrid walked into her bedroom, she unzipped her dress, allowing it to fall at her feet. Jason grabbed her hand and spun her around. “You’re beautiful,” he said as he drank in every detail of her body. She was thick in the right places, her hips were round and there was enough junk in her trunk to keep his desire growing. But more than anything, Ingrid looked like a real woman, not some airbrushed stick figure that society thought women should be. He loved her curves and was more than excited to be able to ride them again.

  Ingrid didn’t feel uncomfortable under Jason’s appreciative gaze. He made her feel desirable as he licked his lips while he spun her around. Smiling at him, she said, “I want to see you now.”

  Jason dropped her hand and stripped out of his shirt and slacks. Ingrid’s breath caught in her chest as she took in his chocolate body clad only in a pair of snug boxer briefs. Her gaze fell to his protruding erection that threatened to burst through his underwear. He’d always had a great body, she thought but over the years, he’d worked extra hard on building a set of rock hard abs, strong arms that looked as if they were chiseled by Auguste Rodin, and thighs of steel. Yes, he was a bonafide sex symbol, and at least for the night, he was all hers.

  She lay seductively on the bed and wiggled her forefinger at Jason, beckoning him to join her. He strode to the bed, climbed in beside her. He drew her into his arms and they connected instantly. Ingrid took the lead in a slow kiss that sent tingles from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. Jason reached down and wrapped her leg around his waist as Ingrid slipped her hand inside his underwear, gripping his cock with a tender touch. He moaned as her hand moved up and down, fast then slow. Slower, faster, slower, faster. She nearly brought him to climax as she stroked him and ran her tongue across his lips. He needed her right now. He reached down and peeled her panties off, inserting his finger inside her to torture her as she had been doing to him. Jason wiggled out of his underwear when it became evident that Ingrid wasn’t going to stop stroking him.

  “I need to be inside you,” he moaned as they broke off their kiss.

  “Protection first,” she said.

  Jason nodded, wishing she was his wife and they wouldn’t have to worry about that detail. Easing away from her, he grabbed his discarded slacks and retrieved a condom from his wallet. In a quick motion, he opened the prophylactic and slipped it in place. Turning around, he saw Ingrid’s eyes sparkling in the darkness. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her. She propped herself up on her knees and opened her arms to him as he made his way to the bed. He unsnapped Ingrid’s bra and made quick work of removing it as he joined her on the mattress. “I want you so bad,” he said before bringing his lips down on her neck. She parted her thighs and thrust into him. Jason was enveloped by her warmness immediately. Not only was she hot, but tight as well. As he ground slowly against her, he wonder how long had it been since she’d been loved the right way. Gripping her hips, Jason slid back so that he was lying flat and Ingrid was on top of him. He could feel her juices spilling down on him as she gyrated against him. He was in total bliss as she tightened her walls around him, seemingly milking his essence out of him.

  “Yes, yes,” Ingrid moaned as Jason pumped his hips into hers and palmed her breasts.

  “You feel so good, so good,” he said as he lifted his head to take her nipple into his mouth. She arched her back as she felt her orgasm approaching. Jason was near climax as well and he exploded when Ingrid clasped her legs around his waist and reached her own release. Ingrid rested her head on his chest and Jason stroked her smooth back. Neither of them said a word as they held each other. Jason’s mind drifted to a day in the future when he would wake up every morning with Ingrid in his arms and Ingrid caught herself thinking about all the nights that she’d gone to sleep in his arms with his lips brushing against hers.

  Before either of them knew it, they were both asleep.

  Ingrid shifted her hips as she felt a strong arm around her. Opening her eyes, she realized that she hadn’t been dreaming. Jason was still holding her. The
first rays of the sun began to stream through her peach curtains. Normally, she’d rush out of bed as soon as the sun hit her face, but today, she decided that she’d give herself a few more minutes in this fantasy. She nestled against Jason and closed her eyes. The last thing she remembered was his lips against her neck before she heard, “Mommy!”

  Jason opened his eyes and stared at the little boy who’d wandered in to the bedroom. He knew he wasn’t dreaming, but how could Ingrid’s son with another man look so much like him? The little boy had the same unruly mass of curls that Jason had when he was younger. He was about two shades lighter than him, taking his complexion from his mother, but those eyes. Those were Campbell eyes.

  “DeShawn!” Christina called as she padded up the stairs. “I think you should . . .”

  She stopped talking when she reached Ingrid’s bedroom door and saw that her godson had already made his big entrance. “Oh my God.”

  “Christina, why didn’t you call first?” Ingrid asked as she wrapped the sheet around her body to cover her nudity. Jason just stared at the little boy that he knew had to be related to him in some way.

  “Mommy, did you have a sleep over?” DeShawn asked.

  “Yes,” she said curtly. “Now, you have to let me get. . .Go to your room and get ready for camp. I need to talk to your auntie.”

  “Ingrid,” Jason said, forcing her to stop and face him.

  Christina shrugged her shoulders and Jason didn’t miss the heated looks between the best friends.

  “Jason, I have to tend to my son,” Ingrid said, clearly flustered.

  “Your son? Don’t you mean our son?”

  “I mean just what I said. I knew this was a mistake, I knew it,” she exclaimed as she crossed over to the closet and grabbed her robe from the back of it. Christina stood in the doorway, not knowing if she should stay or go. She wanted to hear the truth just as much as Jason did. As Ingrid attempted to walk out of the room, Jason grabbed her arm. “Is that little boy mine?”

  “No,” she said thinly. “He’s not. When I come back, please be dressed and ready to leave.” She snatched away from him and pushed Christina out of her way.

  “Chrissy,” Jason said. “Is that my son? I know she would’ve told you.”

  “Jason, unless you’re blind, you don’t need me to answer that question. But Ingrid says Louis is DeShawn’s father. That’s what people believe and that’s what she has always told him. But you know the truth.”

  “Why would she keep this from me? How could she. . .”

  “Wait a minute, now, do you think it was easy for her? You hurt her, choosing your career and when she needed you—where were you? On stage or with that non-singing Debony heifer? So before you think about passing judgment on my friend, you better look at what you did wrong too.”

  Jason shook his head. “I know I messed up,” he said. “And the last thing I want is to pass judgment on Ingrid. But how could she keep this from me?”

  “Keep what from you?” Ingrid asked, appearing behind Christina and Jason.

  “That little boy,” he said succinctly.

  “My son is none of your concern and I’d appreciate it if you would leave,” Ingrid said. She walked into her bedroom and then headed into the bathroom and slammed the door.

  “I think you should leave,” Christina said. “I’ll try to talk to her.”

  Jason nodded as he grabbed his clothes and headed into the bathroom in the hallway. After he was dressed, he wanted to slip into DeShawn’s room and look at him again. He was sure that the little boy was his son. The way he walked, it reminded him of his days as a child. Despite the cold feeling in the pit of his stomach and the little voice telling him that he should wait until Ingrid introduced him to DeShawn, he crept across to the little boy’s room. From the door, he watched as he picked up his art supplies. Jason was about to leave when the little boy looked up at him.

  “Hey, mister, what are you doing here?” DeShawn asked.

  “I was just leaving,” Jason said as he stared at his spitting image.

  “How do you know my mommy?”

  “We’re old friends,” he said. “How old are you?”

  DeShawn stuck his chest out and smiled. “Three.”

  The air in his lungs constricted. Three? That meant he was probably . . . “You’re a big boy,” Jason said. “I’ll see you around, okay.” He bounded down the steps and tried to wrap his mind around what was going on. That little boy was his son and he was going to make Ingrid admit it.

  “Is he gone?” Ingrid asked Christina from behind the bathroom door.

  “Yes,” she said. “Why are you acting like a coward?”

  Ingrid walked out of the bathroom and frowned at her friend. “Why didn’t you call me this morning?”

  “I did, but it seems as if you didn’t hear the phone,” she said with a smile on her face. “And from what I saw . . .”

  “Save it. What you saw is nothing compared to what DeShawn saw. How am I going to explain this to him?”

  “He thinks you had a sleep over. The question is, how are you going continue to pretend Louis Harrington is that boy’s father?”

  Ingrid folded her arms across her chest. “Get out.”

  “We’ll talk later and I want the truth. Jason is going to want the truth, too, and sooner or later, you’re going to have to tell that little boy the truth as well.”

  That day isn’t going to be today, Ingrid thought as Christina walked into the hallway to meet DeShawn. When she was alone, Ingrid threw herself across the bed. This was madness and not how she wanted Jason to see DeShawn. She hadn’t wanted him to see DeShawn at all. There was no way that she wanted her son to lose another father and she didn’t want Jason to feel as if he was obligated to her because they made a child together.

  Why did you have to die, Louis? You were supposed to take care of this and make me forget about Jason and the fact that he was DeShawn’s father. You were supposed to be here watching my back. Why did you have to go to Atlanta that night? You could’ve stayed overnight and you might be here to help me stay away from that man.

  Ingrid sighed and closed her eyes. Louis had a secret of his own and the night that she’d walked into his restaurant, he’d revealed it.

  “This town is full of closed minded people isn’t it?” he’d asked.

  Ingrid had nodded as she stuck her fork into a slice of pie. “I guess not much has changed.”

  “I reckon not,” he’d replied. “At least I’m picking up the language.”

  Ingrid laughed. “Well, you don’t sound authentic yet. Not enough twang. Why in the world would you leave New York to come here?”

  “A bad break up.”

  Ingrid took a bite of the pie and nodded. “I know the feeling,” she’d replied after swallowing the sweet confection. Looking at Louis, she could admit that he was a handsome man, even pretty. His ebony skin had looked as smooth as silk and when he smiled it reminded her of Denzel Washington in Mississippi Masala. He even shared the same type of closely cropped haircut as Washington. “I bet she didn’t expect you to move this far away to get over her,” Ingrid had remarked as she polished off the pie.

  Louis laughed and shook his head. “I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know I’m gone.”

  To his surprise, Ingrid hadn’t flinched or recoiled in disgust at his statement. Though she had been shocked, Ingrid knew she was in no position to pass judgment on Louis and his lifestyle. That didn’t mean the rest of the town was going to feel that way.

  “It’s his loss,” Ingrid had replied. “Your ex and my ex lost the best things that would ever happen to their sorry behinds.”

  He smiled and gave her a tight hug just as the door opened to the restaurant. “Ingrid Russell?” Anna Belle had questioned. “I thought you were in New York with Jason, I mean, Jay Slade. What are you doing here?”

  “Eating dinner with my fiancé,” Ingrid had said before she even thought about it.

  “Fiancé? Him? Mr. Har
rington? But I thought he was . . .How did you meet him?’

  “As if it’s any of your business, we met in New York while Jason was on tour,” Ingrid lied.

  “That’s right,” Louis had chimed in. “She told me so much about Elmore that I wanted to come here and open this restaurant. What can I get for you?”

  “Two chicken dinners,” Anna Belle had said as she slipped into the booth across from Ingrid. When Louis went into the kitchen, she leaned in to Ingrid. “No offense, but the rumors have been swirling around that he’s gay. That’s why no one comes in here too much. But the food is great.”

  “Louis is far from gay,” Ingrid had lied. “We’re getting married soon.”

  “But why did you leave Jason?”

  “People change.”

  Anna Belle gave Ingrid a critical eye. “Really. So, those rumors about him and Debony were true, huh?”

  Louis returned to the table before Ingrid had a chance to answer. “You and my Ingrid went to school together? I assume that because there’s only one high school here.”

  Anna Belle had nodded. “Yes. I know people are going to be excited about this wedding.”

  “We’re not making a big production of it,” Louis had replied. “After all, we have a business to run.”

  “But there will be wedding day specials on the menu,” Ingrid had added. “Make sure you bring your whole family.”

  When Louis packed up Anna Belle’s food and she’d paid for it then left the restaurant he’d focused his attention on Ingrid. “So, I’m your fiancé now?” he’d said in a low voice.

  “I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds,” she’d said contritely. “But I know Elmore. People were already spreading rumors about your sexuality according to Anna Belle. Hell, she was probably leading the charge. There are two things that folks in this town don’t approve of.” Ingrid patted her stomach. “Single mothers, which I will be soon, and gay people, which is why your lovely establishment is empty.”