If It Isn't Love

by Hodges, Cheris

  “Umm, I guess so,” he said slightly disappointed. Ingrid turned on her side and pressed her hip into his pelvis. “But you cannot do that.” He wrapped his arms around her and gently kissed her on the side of her neck.

  “And you think doing that is going to allow me to go to sleep?”

  Before Jason could reply, the bedroom door opened and DeShawn ambled in. “Mommy,” he said. “I don’t feel too good.”

  Ingrid and Jason sat up in the bed. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and took her little boy into her arms. He was burning up with a fever. Ingrid turned to Jason. “Go get the thermometer out of the medicine cabinet.”

  Jason moved like a bolt of lightning, grabbed the thermometer and rushed back into the bedroom. Ingrid cradled DeShawn in her arms and rocked him back and forth as the little boy sniffled.

  “Here you go,” Jason said as he handed Ingrid the digital thermometer. Ingrid slipped the thermometer underneath DeShawn’s tongue.

  “Oh my God, he has a fever of one hundred-five, we’ve got to get him to the hospital.” She scrambled to get dressed while Jason took their son from her arms. Before they made it to the car, DeShawn vomited three times and he cried out saying that he was hurting. Ingrid shivered and tried to hide her fear, but she had no idea what was wrong with her son. Jason loaded DeShawn in the back seat. The last thing Jason thought about was the leather seats, which he was normally very particular about. He even placed his khaki Armani jacket underneath DeShawn’s head in case he vomited again. As he listened to his son moan, his heart dropped to his knees. The little boy was so active yesterday as he played with his trucks and roamed underneath the kitchen table while Jason met with Terry.

  Jason had reached down and picked his son up, held him on his lap briefly and kissed his cheek. He’d promised the little boy that when he and Mr. Terry finished talking that they would go to the park and run around. The little boy had nodded and bounced into the living room. Jason remembered rushing through his discussion with Terry so that he could take his son to the park.

  He had no idea that twenty-four hours later, he’d be rushing his son to the hospital. After making sure his little boy was secure, Jason took off for Elmore Regional Hospital. Ingrid watched DeShawn and he lay in the back seat, his occasional cries of pain sent chills up and down her spine. What was wrong with her baby? Had she been so caught up in her life that she didn’t notice what was going on with her son? Was she that selfish now that she was with Jason?

  No, I didn’t do anything wrong, she thought trying to force the negative voices out of her head as they pulled up to the hospital emergency room. Jason blew the horn until two attendants rushed outside.

  Ingrid hopped out of the car. “My son, he’s sick. In the back seat, I don’t know. . .”

  One of the attendants, who was a regular at Soul to The Bone touched Ingrid’s shoulder. “Miss Ingrid, we’re going to take care of him, OK.”

  She nodded as silent tears fell from her eyes. As the attendants took DeShawn out of the car, Jason pulled Ingrid into his arms. “He’s going to be fine,” he whispered. “He’s a strong little boy.”

  Her hot tears seeped through his cotton tee shirt as he half dragged her into the ER. One of the attendants who had brought DeShawn in led Jason and Ingrid to the bed where DeShawn was. A doctor and a nurse were standing over the little boy checking his vital signs and drawing blood.

  “What’s wrong with my baby?” she asked as she looked from the doctor to the nurse.

  “We’re trying to find out. His temperature is spiking,” the doctor said. “We’re going to have to move him up to the Intensive Care Unit and run some tests.”

  “Oh my God,” Ingrid cried as she clung to Jason.

  “What was he complaining about?” the doctor asked.

  “Well,” Jason said, “he was fine yesterday, but earlier he was vomiting and crying out in pain.”

  “How old is he?” the doctor asked.

  “Three.”

  “All right,” the doctor said then nodded toward the nurse to roll the bed. “We’re going to the third floor. You can take the guest elevator.”

  “Come on,” Jason said, nudging Ingrid who seemed to be in a trance. Her steps were slow and labored.

  “This is all my fault, isn’t it?” she asked as they stepped on the elevator car.

  Jason stroked her hair and pressed her head against his shoulder. “We don’t know what’s wrong. Babe, kids get sick all the time. Whatever DeShawn needs to get better, I’m going to make sure he has it. If he needs specialists or anything, I’m going to provide it.”

  “I pray that it’s enough,” she said as the doors opened on the third floor.

  Jason and Ingrid took a seat in the waiting room and waited for the doctor to come out and tell them what was going on with their son. He rocked back and forth, scared that he was going to lose his son when he’d just found him.

  The hours ticked away slowly as Jason and Ingrid waited for some news. She lay against his shoulder, drifting in and out of sleep. Each time she woke up, she had the same question. “What have they said about my baby?”

  “The doctors still haven’t come out,” he replied each time.

  Ingrid rose to her feet and stretched. “What is going on?” she mumbled as she paced back and forth. “Did I do something to make him sick? What if the chicken we ate for dinner wasn’t properly cooked.”

  Jason stood up and crossed over to her, then he pulled her into his arms. “We can’t stand here and question anything until we find out what the doctors know,” he said as he rocked her back and forth.

  “I wish they would come and tell us something,” she said. “The waiting is killing me.”

  Jason nodded in agreement, but he needed to be strong for her. Still, he was just as afraid as she was and he wanted to know what was wrong with his son.

  A few hours later, DeShawn’s doctor entered the waiting room. Ingrid and Jason rushed over to him.

  “How’s my son?” Ingrid asked as Jason held her hand tightly.

  “We have been able to get his fever down somewhat. I’m afraid it looks as if he may be suffering from meningococcal meningitis.”

  “But, how?” Ingrid stammered.

  “We won’t know for sure until the blood tests are back. But as a precaution, I want you to have your house sanitized and you two should be checked,” he said.

  “How did this happen?” Ingrid asked again.

  “DeShawn isn’t the first case we’ve seen this summer. In a town like this, it’s easy for kids to pass this disease on to each other. I think we’ve caught it early enough to stave off any of the harmful side effects.”

  Jason gripped Ingrid’s hand as he asked, “What are the side effects?”

  “If left untreated, there could be brain damage. We’ve started him on some antibiotics. Once we see how he responds to it, we will go from there.”

  “Can I see him?” Ingrid asked.

  “Not yet,” the doctor replied. “I’ve got to go back. I’m going to have a nurse come out and set up a time for you two to be vaccinated.”

  “All right,” Jason said as he hugged Ingrid.

  “Doctor,” Ingrid said. “Will my son be all right?”

  “We’ll have to see,” he said then headed down the hall. Tears welled in Ingrid’s eyes and she held on to Jason’s arm.

  “We can’t lose him,” she said through her tears. “The doctor isn’t telling us something.”

  “Ingrid,” he said. “He’s going to be fine.”

  “Oh, God, I hope you’re right,” she said as he led her back to their seats.

  Hours ticked away before Ingrid and Jason heard anything else about DeShawn. After the nurse had given them their shots, Ingrid sought out the doctor. “How’s my son?” she asked when he met her and Jason in the laboratory.

  “So far, he’s responding well to the antibiotics. His fever has broken, but we still want to keep him isolated for a few days to make sure he
’s not contagious.”

  “When can we see him?” Jason asked.

  “Give us twenty-four hours to make sure we’re dealing with viral and not bacterial meningitis. Bacterial meningitis is a dangerous strain of the disease and there can be permanent damage if we don’t treat it properly.”

  “What do you have to do?” Jason asked. “I thought the blood test gave you all the answers.”

  “We need to do a spinal tap,” the doctor said cautiously.

  “No,” Ingrid blurted out. “There has to be another way.”

  “Unfortunately, Mrs. Harrington, there isn’t. I know it sounds scary, but it isn’t. The needle will tap into fluid around his spine. He’s not going to feel much pain. Without it, we’re not going to know if we’re taking the correct course of treatment.”

  “There’s no other way?” Ingrid asked.

  “I’m afraid not,” the doctor replied. “There is a limited risk with this procedure, but DeShawn is young and will bounce back quickly.”

  “It’s the risk, no matter how limited, that has us worried,” Jason said quietly. “But if this is the only way to find out what we’re dealing with then we have to do it.” Ingrid clung to Jason’s arm still not sold on having a needle jammed into her son’s back.

  “All right, I’ll bring in the consent form and we’ll get the test started.”

  When the doctor left, Ingrid cried on Jason’s shoulder. “This is so scary.”

  He kissed her on the forehead, then said, “I know babe. But our boy is going to bounce back and be even stronger.”

  Ingrid gripped his arm tighter and nodded. “You’re right. He’s never been sick before. This little boy doesn’t even catch a cold.”

  “That’s why this isn’t going to get him down.” Jason hugged her. “We’re going to have to get the house cleaned and Chrissy probably needs to get a shot too.”

  Ingrid nodded, “I’m going to have to call my mother as well,” she said.

  Jason tensed at the mention of Lois. Somehow he figured that Lois would blame him for her grandson’s illness. “Do you want me to call Chrissy while you talk to your mother?”

  “Thanks,” Ingrid said as she pulled out her cell phone. Jason crossed over to the other side of the waiting room and dialed Christina’s number.

  “Where are you guys?” she asked after he said hello. “And don’t tell me that you guys have run off and gotten married.”

  “No, we’re at the hospital. DeShawn is sick. He has meningitis.”

  “Oh my God. I’m coming there.”

  “Since you were around him, you probably need to get a vaccine shot. The doctor said he isn’t the first kid to get diagnosed with it this summer. Can you call Celina and tell her that she and her son might need to get checked too.”

  “I’ll do that,” she said. “How’s Ingrid?”

  “Very worried and scared. We’re praying that our son will pull through this.”

  “He’ll be in my prayers too. Do you and Ingrid need anything, food or some coffee?”

  Jason looked down at his watch, they’d been in the hospital for over ten hours. “Yeah, I’m going to get Ingrid to eat.”

  “What about you, Jay? DeShawn is going to need his mom and dad when he comes through this. So, I’m going to make sure you eat.”

  “Thanks, Chrissy,” he said as he watched Ingrid have an intense conversation with her mother. “But I’m going to be fine. I’m worried about Ingrid and DeShawn right now.”

  “Is she talking to her mom?”

  “Yeah, and I imagine it’s not a pleasant conversation.”

  “It never is with her,” Christina said. “OK, I’m going over to the restaurant to get you guys a decent meal and some coffee.”

  “Thanks.”

  Ingrid gripped her cell phone so tightly that her knuckles turned ashen. “How could you allow this to happen?” Lois demanded. “Maybe if you’d paid more attention to DeShawn instead of trying to . . .”

  “I don’t need to hear this right now,” she snapped. “Your grandson is here fighting for his life and you’re still talking about Jason. He has nothing to do with this.”

  “Sure he doesn’t.”

  “Are you going to come and get the vaccination and check on your grandson or are you going to sit on the phone talking?”

  “Of course I’m coming to see my grandson.”

  “And, Mother,” Ingrid warned. “When you get here if you say one out of the way word to Jason, I will have you removed by security. Both of us are concerned about our son and the last thing we need is for you to be here with your negativity.”

  “I’m coming to support my grandchild. I don’t care what mistake you make with that man.”

  “That man, is DeShawn’s father and he’s going to be my husband. When are you going to accept that?”

  “Goodbye,” she said then hung up the phone. As tempted as she was, Ingrid didn’t toss her phone across the room. The last thing she needed to do was argue with her mother about Jason. If they could’ve gotten though DeShawn’s illness without her mother needing to know, she wouldn’t have called her at all. When she felt Jason’s hand on her shoulder, Ingrid released a sigh.

  “That woman is going to be the death of me,” she said.

  “Your mother?”

  “Of course. She’s the most insufferable woman that I’ve ever known. Somehow she’s turned this into . . .I warned her that if she came here to start trouble I would have security remove her,” she snapped. Jason drew her into his arms and held her tightly.

  “Baby, your mother isn’t going to worry us because she loves DeShawn just as much as we do and I’m sure all she wants is for him to get better.”

  “Yeah,” she said flatly.

  Before Jason could say anything else, the doctor entered the waiting room and sought them out.

  Jason and Ingrid rushed to the doctor. “Is everything all right?” she asked.

  “So far, yes. The spinal tap went off without a hitch. DeShawn didn’t even flinch. From the last bit of antibiotics that we gave him and his response to them, I’m leaning close to saying that he has viral meningitis that will be treated with the medicine. There is a limited chance of serious side-effects.”

  “That’s great news,” Jason said happily. “So, what’s next?”

  “We’re going to wait for the test results and then DeShawn might be able to go home and recover. The recovery process takes about seven to ten days.”

  “We’re going to have to get the house disinfected first, right?” Ingrid asked.

  “Yes and have his close friends and family come in for a vaccination. It’s a good thing we caught this early,” the doctor said. “The results of the spinal tap will be available in forty-eight hours.”

  “Then I guess we’re going be staying here for the next two days,” Ingrid said.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Ingrid drifted off to sleep after Jason forced her to eat the food Christina brought over from the restaurant. He smiled as he watched her sleep. Ingrid needed her rest, but she was too stubborn to admit it and she’d been fighting sleep for hours. Christina walked back into the waiting room, rubbing her injection site on her arm. “She finally went to sleep?” she asked Jason.

  “Yeah,” he said as he stifled a yawn. “She’s so worried about DeShawn that she’s forgetting to take care of herself.”

  “And you’re just as bad because you look like hell. Why don’t you take a nap too and if the doctor comes in, I’ll wake both of you?”

  Jason shook his head. “I’ve had too much caffeine to close my eyes.”

  Christina shot him a “yeah, right,” look and motioned for him to sit down beside Ingrid. “Both of you are hard headed and I guess that’s why you were made for each other.”

  “Whatever.” He took the seat beside Ingrid and gently stroked her cheek. She stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up. Satisfied, Jason leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes. Before the needed sleep could take
hold, he was jolted by Lois’s voice.

  “Where’s my grandson? What’s his condition?”

  Both Jason and Ingrid sat up. “Mom,” Ingrid said.

  “While you two are lounging, does anyone know what’s going on with DeShawn?” she asked snidely.

  “Mother, don’t start,” Ingrid said as she yawned. “We’ve been here all night.”

  “I would’ve been here too, if I felt welcome. Over the years, I’ve been the one to help you with DeShawn and now that he’s here, I guess you don’t need me anymore.”

  “Did I say that?” Ingrid snapped.

  “Ladies,” Jason said. “Not the time or the place.”

  Lois rolled her eyes at Jason and continued to talk to Ingrid. “What did the doctor say?”

  “We have to wait two days to see what strain of meningitis he has. Right now, he’s being treated with antibiotics.”

  “Have you seen him?” Lois asked, her voice filled with concern. Jason watched the two women and realized that Lois may hold contempt in her heart for him, but she loved his son.

  “It’s best that we don’t see him until we know his condition,” Ingrid said as she wrapped her arm around her mother’s shoulders.

  Lois nodded and then shot a menacing look at Jason. “Why haven’t you called in specialists and spared no expense to make sure my grandson gets well?”

  “Mrs. Russell, if I have to do that, I will. Right now, we’re not sure what DeShawn is dealing with and so far, the doctors said he’s responding to the treatment. I’m going to do everything to make sure my son recovers from this.”

  “Father of the freaking year, huh?”

  “Mom,” Ingrid said in a warning tone. Jason put his hand up.

  “Mrs. Russell, since you’re determined to have this private conversation here and now, then let’s have it out for the last time.”

  Before Jason and Lois could continue their argument, the doctor walked into the waiting room. The tension in the air shifted from the impending argument to DeShawn’s health.

  Ingrid rushed over to the doctor. “Is everything all right?” she asked him.