by Jill Lynn
No one had ever really gotten her the way Jace had.
They’d talked about getting married someday. Having kids. Where they’d live—somewhere near Westbend, because even back then Mackenzie hadn’t wanted to leave Wilder Ranch. She’d somehow always known it was where she belonged.
She and Jace had been inseparable, and she’d had no reason to doubt him. That was why the fact that he’d left, and the way he’d done it, had been such a shock.
Why it had hurt so stinking bad.
What Jace had said to her in the lodge lobby yesterday had rattled around in her mind ever since. Was he right? Had he tried to tell her he wanted to continue competing at the next level after high school? She remembered maybe one instance like that and nothing more.
But maybe she hadn’t been listening, like he’d claimed.
Still, if that were the case, he should have made his plans more clear. He should have made sure she understood.
And now the man should really stop expecting her to somehow get over his callous departure just because he’d decided to grace Wilder Ranch with his presence.
Last night, after the square dance, when she’d been trying to quietly escape, Jace had caught up to her in the hallway. He’d had the audacity to wink. And then he’d toggled his eyebrows and said, “One word. YouTube.”
YouTube. That was how he’d figured out the dance? The man had to be kidding. Except he wasn’t.
A crease had split his forehead. “You’re irritated that I handled tonight well, aren’t you? Still don’t want me here, do you?”
“Nope.” The truth had just skipped right out.
“You could take a minute. Think about your answer. Give the illusion of grace.”
“Nope.” Mackenzie had wanted nothing more than to flee, but then Jace had wrenched the conversation up another level, while his voice had dipped low and meaningful.
“You ever going to forgive me for leaving the way I did?”
She hadn’t spoken. There’d been no need to repeat the word that still fitted a third time.
Jace’s fist had clenched, and his lips had pressed tight. And then he’d turned back to the guests, to the staff, to what was supposed to be her world. He’d left her standing there, wrestling a supersize hissy fit into submission.
Composure was usually her thing. Nothing ruffled Mackenzie unless she let it.
But Jace Hawke broke all of her rules.
Mackenzie finished the rest of the zip-line course quickly. The temptation to fly through it a third time was herculean strong, but she couldn’t.
She should really get back to the ranch and make sure everything was going smoothly with the turnover for the guests that would arrive tomorrow. Mackenzie had fitted in a hike before zip-lining, so she’d already been gone for hours.
She probably shouldn’t have left in the first place, but Luc had been right—she’d needed it. Time away from the ranch—from Jace—had been good for her. She already felt lighter, better.
The drive back went way too fast.
When she turned down the ranch drive, agitation rose up and choked her. Mackenzie loved this place. Always had. But Jace was ruining that for her, too.
Was she crazy to be this upset with him for sticking around? With the way he’d left... How much he’d hurt her... Nope. She had a right to be mad. But holding on to that anger was draining her.
Mackenzie parked at the lodge, planning to head inside, check on how things were going. But before she could even open the door of her little pickup truck, Jace stood next to it.
She ignored him and took her time switching from her tennis shoes over to flip-flops, then tossed the hiking shoes to the passenger floor of her truck.
Jace must have swallowed one of her impatient pills, because he hauled open her driver’s door.
“What do you want, Hawke?” Why did he have to be the first person she saw when she returned? Hadn’t God heard her prayers this week? She’d been requesting less Jace, not more, but the opposite kept happening.
Concern radiated from him, tightening his features. “You have your phone with you today?”
“Yes, but it’s on Silent.” Otherwise it would have been going off the whole time. Mackenzie had known Luc would handle things, so she’d gone off the radar. “I forgot to check it when I got back into my truck.” She winced. That hadn’t been smart of her. “Why? Is something wrong with the turnover?”
“No.” Jace rubbed a hand over the slight stubble on his cheeks and chin. His eyes—they stayed tender. Sympathetic. Something was wrong.
“What is it? What’s going on?”
“It’s Cate. She went into early labor. She and Luc are in Denver.”
“Wait, what? But isn’t it too early? Are they trying to stop the labor?”
“She was too far along to stop it. Luc just talked to Emma. Cate had the babies.”
“Already?” How was that possible? Mackenzie had only been gone for a handful of hours.
“The girls are tiny but getting good care. But Cate...”
Dread wrapped talons around her windpipe. “But Cate what?”
“She’s having complications. She’s losing blood. Luc didn’t tell Emma much. He had to go. He just said to pray.”
Oh, God. I take it all back. How could I complain about such trivial matters like Jace being back in my life? I promise I’ll be better. I’ll be more mature. Please don’t let anything happen to Cate or the babies. Luc would never recover. None of us would.
Mackenzie stared out the front windshield of her truck. “This can’t be happening. Everything was fine when I left this morning.” How could the world just tip upside down like that?
“Since the staff knows about Cate, Emma took Ruby over to Gage’s to prevent her from hearing anyone talk about...any of it. No need to scare the girl. Then she’ll take Ruby to see Cate and the girls if...when Luc gives the okay.”
“That’s good.” Breathe, Mackenzie. Breathe. “Emma’s the best with her.”
“Ruby would have been good with you, too. You just weren’t here as an option.”
Mackenzie was certain Jace hadn’t meant that comment the way she’d taken it. But it was still true. Her brother had needed her. There’d been an emergency, and she hadn’t been here, because she’d been too busy being immature and running away. Sure, Luc had told her to, but she shouldn’t have listened. She should have handled being around Jace better, so that hiding wouldn’t have been necessary. She should have stopped throwing toddler tantrums and done her job.
“I need to go. I need to be there.” I need to see my brother, to know he’s okay. And in order for him to be okay, Cate needs to be okay. Okay, God? Please. But how could Mackenzie leave the ranch with no one in charge? “But I can’t leave the staff with the turnover. If Luc’s not here, Emma either—”
“It’s taken care of,” Jace interrupted.
“How? You’ve never even been here for it before.”
“Your staff, although new, has been well trained, and you have lists written up for everything. We knocked most of it out, and they know what else is left to do. They wanted to help. This is all they’ve got right now, and they’re on it.”
Sounded like Jace had been on it, too. Guilt rose up. They’d needed him already. Luc had been right to hire Jace without her consent, for the sake of the ranch. And if things were taken care of, that gave Mackenzie permission to go see her brother. And Cate. Because she was trusting that Cate would be all right. She was clinging to that.
“My keys.” She checked the ignition. Not there. Where had she put them?
“I’ll drive you.” Jace held her keys in the palm of his hand.
What? How and when had he snagged them?
Maybe she’d dropped them when she’d first arrived. Who knew? Who cared?
“I’m fine, thanks. I can driv
e myself.”
Jace’s fist closed around the metal. “You’re a mess right now. I’m not letting you drive.”
Puh-lease. She wasn’t some baby who needed to be coddled. “I’m fine. Give me my keys.” The demand came out clipped and desperate. “I need to get going.”
“No.” Jace’s arms crossed. “I can drive you or we can stand here and waste more time fighting. Can you just trust me on this? You’re shaking right now.”
“I am not.” She held out her hand to prove it, and it vibrated before her like a cup of coffee on the dash of a car. Great. How nice of her body to betray her.
“You’re not driving my truck.”
“Okay. I’ll drive mine.” The man strode across the gravel, to his vehicle. “Come on, Wilder, you’re wasting time.”
He had her keys. She wanted to scream and kick and throw a fit, but he was right. It would just waste time. If Mackenzie wanted to see her brother right now, which she did, she didn’t have a choice.
* * *
Jace had never seen Mackenzie so shaken. And rightfully so. The news from Luc had been sporadic. Only that the babies were small and early. And that Cate had lost a lot of blood—had still been losing blood when Luc had talked to Emma. He’d said that the doctors were trying to stop the hemorrhaging, and that was all of the information they had.
Jace didn’t know how to help or comfort. So he’d settled for getting Mackenzie safely to where she wanted to be.
They’d been in his truck for ten minutes, and the woman had yet to make a peep. He’d asked her to let Emma know they were headed to Denver. She’d texted, then let her phone fall to the truck bench seat. Since then she’d been staring out the window, like her whole world had crashed down around her. And it had. Mackenzie was incredibly close to her brother. Her twin. She was likely kicking herself for not being there today, when Cate had gone into labor and things had progressed so quickly.
Maybe he could get her talking, get her to focus on something else.
“Where’d you run off to today?”
Her wince was quick but noticeable. “Luc told me to take some time off, so I did. I hiked and then zip-lined. A friend owns a course, and he lets me go for free whenever.”
He. Was this he young or old? “Boyfriend of yours or something?”
She snorted. “He’s nineteen. Actually, his parents own it, but he runs it most of the time.”
“And gives out free passes to gorgeous women.”
Her face pinked, accompanied by an eye roll and a shake of her low ponytail. “No. That’s not how it is.”
She was getting riled now, but at least some color was rushing back to her skin and her breathing wasn’t so shallow.
“I mean, he’s asked me out before, but he’s too young for me. I’ve told him countless times.”
Jace narrowly avoided sprouting a smile. Young pup was probably smitten with Mackenzie. He didn’t blame the kid.
“Do you normally take off on Saturdays?”
“No. After the staff is well trained, I could. I don’t technically need to be there if they can handle things.”
“But you usually are.”
“Why not? Luc tries to spend time with Cate and Ruby after the guests leave. I don’t have anywhere else to be, so I make sure things run smoothly. I should have been there today, especially with all of our new staff. But I just...” Her vision tracked out the window again, and she didn’t finish her statement. Didn’t elaborate.
“It’s me, isn’t it? You were escaping from me.” Luc had told him that Mackenzie had taken part of the day off, that she’d needed to blow off some steam.
More like blow off some Jace.
A huff of air filled the cab. “Let’s just let it go, okay? It doesn’t matter. I wasn’t where I was supposed to be, and now my brother’s wife is having serious complications.”
“That has nothing to do with you and where you were, Kenzie Rae, and you know it.”
“I know nothing of the sort. What if I could have helped? What if—”
“Stop it.” Jace softened his command by giving her arm a quick squeeze. His thumb etched across her skin before he let go and moved it back to the steering wheel, to keep from driving with his casted arm. “You couldn’t have changed a thing. They left quickly. He didn’t wait for you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
A hurt-animal noise tore from her throat. This woman.
“I didn’t mean it like that. Just meant that he didn’t waste any time. You don’t get to blame yourself.” Was that what had Kenzie so upset? That she wasn’t needed? That Luc had left without her being there? “Emma... She told me Luc left not too long after I did.”
Jace watched the car in front of him change lanes as Mackenzie studied him. At least the concussion hadn’t stolen his peripheral vision from him.
“He did.” Her body gave a telltale tremor. Like a secret admission she would never give away herself. Jace hated that he’d hurt her. That had never been his intent. And yes, he wished he would have handled things differently after high school. But the truth was, he’d been so in love with the woman across the seat of the truck from him, he would never have been able to walk away from her if he’d said goodbye.
The hold would have been too strong.
And Mackenzie was built for Wilder Ranch. He couldn’t picture her anywhere else. It fitted her the way riding did him.
They were made for two different worlds, and a hefty chunk of time hadn’t changed that.
“Feels just like when we were kids.” Mackenzie spoke quietly, then rubbed her arms like she was chilled. The reaction had to be emotional, because his truck was toasty with the sun cascading in the windows.
“What do you mean?”
He didn’t expect an answer from her. Kenzie wasn’t in the business of telling him anything lately. But today’s trauma must have messed with her tongue, because she kept going.
“When Luc had open-heart surgery, they forgot about me.”
His gut clenched. “Who did?”
“Mom and Dad. They had to be up and out of the house early, and my aunt was staying with us, but I’d said I wanted to see him in the morning. Before they left. I don’t know if they didn’t believe me or what, but I woke up and they were gone. Luc was gone.” Her sadness swelled and filled the cab of the truck. “I was so haunted by the thought that I might never see him again or that he might not make it through the surgery. I was a mess that whole day, until we heard the surgery went well.”
Jace pictured her at that young age. Left. Alone. Missing her twin. She and Luc had always been close. Connected.
For him to be gone without her getting to say goodbye—for her to wonder about his well-being during open-heart surgery. Ouch. That was a lot for a kid to bear.
It hurt just hearing her talk about it. And for her to still be holding on to that this many years later...that moment, that pain, must have remained all of this time.
Jace couldn’t believe she was telling him this. He wanted to reach out and touch her again. To ground himself and her. But there wasn’t anything he could do to stop the flow of blood from that particular wound.
Because when he’d left town, he’d only added to it. And then Luc right after him.
Turns out the most un-leave-able person Jace knew had been left on repeat.
Chapter Five
Jace transported them to the hospital as fast as his truck and traffic would allow. They didn’t receive any updates on the way, and he was afraid to ask. If there were good news, Luc would have contacted them.
Mackenzie must have felt the same, because unease and fear radiated from her, sending currents bouncing off the metal framework of the cab.
“Have you heard from Emma?”
Mackenzie picked up her phone. “No. I’ll ask if she knows anything new.” Her thumbs flew over the
keys. Her phone chimed almost immediately. “She hasn’t heard from him either.” She dropped the phone into her lap. “Do you still believe in God?”
Why would she ask him something like that? The woman kept assuming he’d changed with time, but he hadn’t. And no one knew him like she did. Not his mom. Not his brother. Not even his rodeo buddies.
“Of course I do.” Kenzie could question all she wanted, but Jace was still the same. He’d even prayed for her through all of these years. For her happiness, her success. That someday she’d be able to understand why he’d done things the way he had. That someday she’d forgive him for it. “I’ve been praying nonstop about Cate and the girls, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Again with that study of him from the side. Jace let it slide, let her look, thinking maybe she’d finally see him for who he really was. Who he’d always been, minus the blip of leaving her after high school.
“Me, too.” She found a piece of thread on the bottom of her shirt and twisted it round and round her finger. Mackenzie normally wore jeans and boots at the ranch, but today she was casual in a bright blue T-shirt, shorts and flip-flops. Her feet and legs were tanned, her toenails unpainted. She was the kind of pretty that couldn’t come from a jar or a tube. It simply was. “Emma said they called the church prayer chain. The whole town of Westbend is probably on their knees.”
“Then let’s believe God is listening.”
Jace parked in the hospital lot. He hopped out and then waited by the front of the truck for Mackenzie, not about to open her door or help her in any way. He wasn’t that daring.
She met him near the still-heated engine. “You don’t need to come in, you know.” Her stormy eyes landed everywhere but on him. “I’m fine. You can head back home if you want.” She motioned as if he were a fly she could shoo away. “Or go do something else...fun, in Denver. I’ll get a ride back.”
Fun? Was she nuts? Like he would go anywhere else right now. Mackenzie might not want his support, but it was hers anyway.
