The Bull Rider's Secret--A Wholesome Western Romance

by Jill Lynn

  “Afraid you’ll find my moves too attractive to resist?”

  “I’m afraid the doctor will think you have something wrong with you medically and want to admit you.”

  His mouth formed a confident, distracting arch. “I know you’re laughing underneath that iceberg veneer, Kenzie Rae. I always could make you laugh.”

  “Could not.” Impressive comeback. Mackenzie barely resisted an eye roll at her elementary maturity. “I can’t believe I said that about—” Mackenzie nodded toward Dr. Bradley in lieu of using his name. He’d probably overhear again if she did. “You bring out the worst in me, Hawke.”

  “No, ma’am. I believe I bring out the best.”

  Maybe he had once upon a time, but not anymore.

  Without warning, Jace grabbed her hand and hauled her up from the chair. “Vera, we’re going to hit the vending machines. Do you want anything?”

  Vera shook her head, and then Mackenzie was dragged out of the room by Jace. She should say something, do something...but before she could get her lax vocal cords functioning, the aggravating man severed their contact.

  “Sorry.” He stared at where their joined hands had just been. “You implied you were hungry, and...old habits die hard, I guess.”

  She ignored the flash of muscle memory and her on-fire fingers, reaching into the trough of hurt that this man ignited instead. “You know I’m still—”

  “Don’t say it,” Jace interrupted her. “You’re still mad at me, and I get that. You can be. But at some point you and I are going to talk. When you’re ready. At some point we’re going to work this out.”

  Mackenzie’s body ached from discussing their past, even in such loose terms. “I’m not ready.”

  “Okay.” Jace’s chest deflated. “Then I’ll wait. You tell me when.”

  “What if I never want to talk about it?” Mackenzie hated that what had happened between them still had its claws in her.

  For so long she’d wondered why he’d left the way he had. But now that she had the opportunity to find out, Mackenzie was afraid to know the truth. “I loved bull riding more than you” or “I didn’t love you anymore” weren’t things she could survive hearing. Even now.

  “I hope that’s not the case, because there are things I need to say. Things you need to understand.” Jace held her gaze for a hot minute—as if driving his point home—and then turned toward the vending machines.

  They walked the rest of the way in silence. He slipped money inside the snack and beverage machines, pressed some buttons, then handed her a sweetened iced tea and a package of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

  What? How did he do that?

  Jace scooted to the left and pressed a few buttons on the coffee machine, making a cup of brew to go with his Junior Mints, while Mackenzie reeled from the simple gesture.

  He took a tentative sip, testing the temperature as he faced her. “What’s wrong?” He touched the package in her hand. “Did I get you the wrong thing? I didn’t even think to ask. I just...”

  And there was the problem—not the lack of asking, but the fact that he knew her like he did, even after so many years of separation. That he remembered something simple like what she ate or drank.

  It was painful to think about what they’d once had—where they’d once been in their relationship—and where they were now.

  “No, it’s fine. I’m just...” And then—ugh—her turncoat eyes filled with moisture.

  Jace didn’t ask for permission, he just enveloped her in a hug, his coffee and candy held around her back, her peanut-butter cups and drink tucked between them. “I’m so sorry, Kenz.” He held her tightly, and she let her muscles sag for just a minute. Just one minute. “I’m so sorry.”

  Mackenzie beat tears back with a stick while crushed against this man, who’d held her heart for so long. She really needed him to let her keep it whole this time.

  “Me, too, Hawke.” She forced herself to push away from him. To break the contact that had felt like home. “Me, too.”

  * * *

  Jace had been right about the length of time they were at the hospital with Vera. The visit had lasted for hours—though thankfully not a week—because another emergency had come in. Dr. Bradley had split his time between the two patients, but eventually Vera had gotten fixed up.

  In more ways than one.

  She also had a date planned with Dr. Bradley for Saturday night.

  Someone might as well find love, because it certainly wasn’t going to be Jace anytime soon.

  He was married to his work. And the only girl he’d ever loved was still angry with him.

  Rightfully so.

  Mackenzie parked as close to the female staff’s lodging as she could get, and they unpacked themselves from her pickup. The two of them sandwiched Vera on the walk to her room and up the stairs.

  “The stars are gorgeous tonight!” Vera waved her uninjured hand at the sky. “So beautiful.” Reverence with a side of pain meds.

  Jace shared an amused glance with Mackenzie over the woman’s head. Vera’s rose-colored view of the world tonight was only a smidgen more than her everyday positivity.

  He waited outside the door to her room while Mackenzie settled Vera inside and made sure she had her medicine and water for the middle of the night. “Call me if you need anything. I’ll keep my phone turned up.” Mackenzie shut the door behind her. “Do you think she’s going to be okay for the night?”

  “Yep. The medicine should knock her out.” They walked down the stairs. “Plus you told her to call if she had an issue. And I’m guessing you keep your phone on every night, in case of an emergency.”

  Mackenzie’s lips quirked. “Maybe.”

  “You’re a pretty good boss, Wilder.”

  They paused near her truck. “Now you’re just kissing up.”

  The phrase sent his mind happily skipping down memory lane. Jace definitely hadn’t been doing any of that. He would have remembered.

  Outdoor lights emphasized the red skin flaming at Mackenzie’s obviously regrettable choice in wording. Jace wanted to jump all over that. Question if she was extending an invitation. But he knew better—Vera might get to fall in love on a whim, but he and Kenzie didn’t have that luxury this time.

  Not when their careers were on two different paths. Not when he was bound and determined not to hurt her again.

  “I’ve never seen anyone fall in love that fast, and in an emergency room to boot.”

  Jace welcomed Mackenzie’s shift in conversation. Anything to get him away from his current outlawed thoughts. “Me either.”

  “She’s so happy. To think that maybe she just met her match for the first time at fifty-four years old... That’s pretty cool.”

  Vera and Dr. Bradley had moved fast—Jace would give them that. But then again, life was too short to wait around and see if something happened.

  Life was also too short to delay explaining to Mackenzie about why he’d left the way he had, but he couldn’t push her much faster. She needed time and he had to respect that.

  “Agreed. You headed to bed?” It wasn’t that late, but he was exhausted. Mackenzie had to be, too.

  “Yeah. In a minute. Need a ride?” She opened the driver’s door to her truck.

  “Nah.” The guys’ lodging wasn’t much past the women’s. “It’s a nice night for a walk.”

  “Okay. Good night, Hawke. Thanks for your help today.”

  She was thanking him? Would wonders never cease? Jace didn’t wreck the good moment by letting any of his thoughts tumble out. “You’re welcome. Night.”

  He watched her pickup as she drove back to the lodge, the brake lights turning red as she stopped and then parked. Why wasn’t she headed to her cabin? Was she planning to leave her truck at the lodge and walk?

  Mackenzie got out and took the lodge steps tw
o at a time, then disappeared inside.

  What was she doing? It was late enough that anything she had to do could wait until tomorrow, wasn’t it?

  Except they’d never finished the paperwork. And Mackenzie had said she wanted to follow up with Trista and Nick tomorrow. Have them sign it. And her days were so jam-packed right now, covering for Luc, that she probably wanted to get it done tonight. Cross it off her list.

  Mackenzie worked harder than anyone Jace knew, and due to the toughness in his profession, that was saying a lot.

  Jace followed the path to the lodge and found Mackenzie exactly where he’d expected to—hunched over Luc’s desk.

  “Trying to avoid training me again, Wilder?”

  She flew inches off her chair, surprise quickly morphing to confusion at the sight of him. “What are you doing here?”

  “My job.” He joined her, taking the chair still next to the rolling one she occupied. “Sorry if I startled you there. I should have given you some indication it was me.” Even though the ranch was completely safe, a woman still had to watch out for herself. Had to keep her intuition on high alert. After the late shift stocking shelves at the five-and-dime, his mom had always walked to her car with someone else. It just made sense to be careful. “Sometimes I can be kind of an idiot.”

  Mackenzie’s lips twitched. “I hadn’t realized.” She motioned to the paperwork with the pen in her hand. “You don’t need to be here. I’ll handle this. Just wanted to get it done tonight because tomorrow things will be crazy again—”

  A loud growl interrupted her.

  “Was that your stomach or a bear?”

  Her laughter made Jace’s previous exhaustion fade. “Guess that candy didn’t count as dinner for you either. I’m starving.”

  She set the pen on the desk, and it rolled to the edge of the papers and stopped. “We could sneak into the kitchen. See if there’s anything left from dinner or make a sandwich.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  They abandoned the paperwork. In the kitchen, Mackenzie flipped on the lights. Thankfully the staff had cleaned up the mess from earlier. The strong smell of bleach permeated the space.

  Mackenzie opened the fridge and poked her head inside. “No leftovers.” She shuffled some items around. “But there’s deli meat.” She backed out with a couple of packages.

  Jace scrounged for bread and located some choices. They each added what they wanted, including lettuce and sliced cheese they found in the fridge. Jace retrieved the mustard for himself and the mayo for Mackenzie.

  “Thanks.” She looked up momentarily when he handed the condiment over, almost as if she were wounded or concerned or...who knew what. Just like her expression earlier by the vending machines.

  “You don’t like mayo anymore?”

  She squeezed it onto the bread. “I do. It just surprises me how much you remember about...me.”

  Like he could ever forget. All of her likes and dislikes, quirks and habits had set up camp in his brain years ago, with no plans to relocate. Jace returned the condiments to the fridge when they were finished, and retrieved the jar of pickle spears.

  He turned. “Still need a pickle, too?”

  “That definitely has not changed. A sandwich without a pickle is a crime.” Mackenzie retrieved a spear for herself and didn’t even ask if he wanted one. Because he didn’t. Never had, never would. See? She knew him, too.

  They cleaned up after themselves and then took their plates back to Luc’s office. This time Jace dropped into the rolling chair.

  “What do you think you’re doing, Hawke?”

  “Learning.” He took a bite of sandwich and set his plate to his right so that Mackenzie had room for hers on the left. “Let me try this. That way I can help if someone else needs to have a warning added to their file.” Jace took the pen and began detailing—very horribly, due to his cast—what had happened this afternoon.

  Found employees canoodling in the barn. They were warned that if this happened again, they would be let go.

  It looked like a four-year-old had scribbled across the paper by the time he was done. Although Ruby would have probably done a better job.

  Mackenzie wiped her hands on a napkin and snatched the sheet to read what he’d written. It took her a second to decipher his handwriting. “What? No. You can’t write that.” A chuckle followed. “There is nothing professional about what you just wrote, Hawke.”

  “Why? What’s wrong with it? It’s true.” Jace ate his sandwich while Mackenzie stole the pen and scribbled out canoodling. Then she must have decided the form was too messy, because she leaned over him and clicked Print on another.

  And she smelled good doing it, too. Mackenzie had always rocked simplicity. Her nails were always unpainted and short, her hair wild and free. And in high school she’d smelled like that baby-powder deodorant, soap and freedom. But she must have started using a different lotion or hair product or something since he’d left, because she was this strange mix of new and old and sweet and fresh.

  Jace wasn’t opposed to the change.

  After the printer spit out the form, she began writing, her head shaking, a smile hiding beneath the tug of her teeth against her lip. “An improper physical proximity for a work environment.” She spoke as her hand scrawled much-neater letters onto the page.

  “Canoodling. Exactly.”

  She laughed again, and something warm and forbidden rose up in Jace. He used to make her laugh all of the time, just like she used to make him. He missed that.

  Mackenzie added a few more sentences between bites of her sandwich, while Jace finished off his.

  “There. Good enough.” She slid the paper toward him. “Can you sign on the bottom as a witness? And then I’ll have them do the same sometime tomorrow.”

  Jace scrawled his jumbled signature, and Mackenzie’s followed.

  “Anything else, boss?” Jace wasn’t leaving if she had more work to do.

  “Nope.” She finished off the last of her sandwich and brushed her fingers. “Now I’m going to crash.”

  “Me, too.”

  They returned their dishes to the kitchen, washed them and added them back to the stack. On the way out of the lodge, they flipped off lights, leaving the outside one on when they got to the front door.

  “Did you have any plans tonight that were disrupted with Vera’s stuff?”

  Jace shut the lodge door and made sure it latched before following Mackenzie down the steps. “Just my job.” He winked to show he was teasing. No need to get Mackenzie all riled up when she’d finally stopped wanting to kick him in the shins. At least that was what he assumed, based on her recent behavior. “Although, I do need to swing by and see my mom sometime. I haven’t been able to check in on her as much as I’d originally thought I would while being home.”

  Mackenzie paused at the bottom of the steps. “The ranch is definitely greedy with a person’s time. Are you sure you should be spending all of yours here?”

  “Trying to shove me out again?”

  “No. Just asking honestly if your time home wouldn’t be better spent with your mom.”

  “She’s working constantly anyway. The woman’s almost never at her house. Even though I’ve sent her enough money that she could have quit at least one of her jobs ages ago.”

  Mackenzie’s eyes softened in the outdoor lodge lighting. “You’re a good son.”

  He shrugged. “Not really, but I do love her.”

  “That counts.”

  “I sure hope so. I’ll find a way to see her soon. And she said she’s going to church on Sunday, so that will work, too.”

  “In the last year I’ve seen her at church a lot. Before that—not so much.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. I prayed for her over the years. She was the type to say she believed in God, but that was about it. I’m really
glad to hear she’s coming around.” Especially with her emphysema. The disease was an eventual death sentence, though thankfully some people survived well with it for many years. And Jace was determined, somehow, to make that his mom’s story.

  “Thanks for your help today with Vera. And the paperwork.” The last bit was laced with humor.

  “I’m happy to lend my HR expertise anytime. Are you leaving your pickup at the lodge?”

  She nodded. “I’ll just walk to my cabin.”

  “I’ll walk with you.”

  She studied him, and then her head slowly shook. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Would you do that for another staffer?”

  “We just did with Vera.”

  “That’s not the same and you know it. It’s better if we’re careful. Platonic.”

  “Boss and employee,” he filled in.

  “Something like that.” The corners of her mouth sank like they were weighted. “Good night, Jace.” She turned and walked up the hill.

  She’d used his name, but it had been chock-full of sorrow and sadness.

  When Jace had left town, he’d assumed that he was doing the right thing by pursuing Evan’s dreams for him.

  But maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe Mackenzie had been the right choice. But it was too late to fix any of it now. Too late to go back and change his mind.

  And if that didn’t make his head ache with remorse, he didn’t know what would.

  Chapter Nine

  “Burning the midnight oil?” Luc greeted Mackenzie as he walked into the front office, which was empty because everyone was watching the wranglers compete. Shovel races, a game in which one person would ride on an overturned shovel pulled behind a horse, and wrangler pickup, a game in which rider and horse race down to pick up a second passenger and then gallop back to the starting line, were both scheduled for tonight.

  They’d even incorporated some of Jace’s activities in the past couple of weeks—steer wrestling and cattle roping. Things hadn’t gone perfectly, but the guests didn’t know that. The wranglers had pulled it off and entertained the crowd.