Not Another Soldier

by Holt, Samantha

  “How did you get in here?” I exclaim.

  “I got the locksmith to give me a spare key.” He fingers my cotton tank top. “What’s this? Are you hurt?”

  I glance down at my top and realize it’s covered in red wine. “No… it’s just wine. Why have you got a spare key? I didn’t say you could have one.”

  He’s still holding me and I’m almost glad. My legs are so shaky, I’m not sure they’ll hold me up.

  “Never mind about the key,” he snaps. “What’s going on, babe? Why are you covered in wine and looking like you’ve just been scared to death?” He curses softly under his breath as his gaze alights on my neck. “Sienna, what the fuck?” He skims the pads of his fingers over my neck and I stiffen.

  Terror pounds through me as Nick’s face seems to merge into the skinhead’s and then Rob’s. “Please don’t,” I say weakly before I pass out.

  Chapter Six

  Nick

  My blood runs cold and I grab her. Sienna’s face is insanely white and the marks on her neck stand out in stark contrast. I hold her limp body for a moment, not quite sure what to do, or what the hell just happened. I was kinda excited to be back here. I’ve called in a few favors and put in some leave, and I was looking forward to more time with Sienna. Even if the circumstances aren’t exactly the best. But a guy’s got to take what he can, right? She can’t resist me forever and I know I affect her. Her reaction to me being shirtless was enough for any man’s ego.

  I put a hand to her neck and feel her pulse. It’s slow but steady. What the fuck did I just do to make her pass out? My heart is hammering pretty hard. I’m beginning to doubt if I even should have left her alone today. I could have had one of the guys bring down my stuff.

  Scooping her up, I carry her into the bedroom and lie her down. Hands on my hips, I study her for a moment, still at a loss as to what to do. Some soldier I am. Trained to deal with anything but put a fainting woman in my arms and I’m lost. I think I’d rather be shot at again than have Sienna pass out on me.

  Determined to do something, I snatch a cloth from the bathroom and dampen it. I settle on the bed and dab her forehead, willing her to come round. Dread twists my insides. Seriously, hasn’t the woman been through enough lately? Those marks on her neck… they’re coming up clearer now and they look like fingerprints. Who the fuck would want to strangle Sienna? The dread turns to burning anger and I suck in a few breaths to calm it. The last thing she needs is to wake up to see me so furious. I tell myself I’ll hunt down whoever did it and make them regret ever laying a hand on her. This calms my temper a little as I imagine the grim satisfaction I’ll get from pounding my fist into whoever did this. Water trickles down her smooth cheeks and I catch the drops with my fingertips.

  “Babe,” I call softly.

  She drags open her eyes and slowly focuses on me. “Stop,” she repeats and pushes my hand away. She struggles to sitting.

  I’m still on the edge of the bed, my jeans rubbing against her legs. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, my head still feels foggy but I’m okay.”

  She puts a hand to it and glances in my eyes again. There’s fear there. Is she scared of me?

  My jaw is tense, but I make an effort to keep my eyes soft, and I fist the cloth tightly in my hand. “What’s happened, Sienna? How did you get that mark on your neck?”

  “Someone… the man from the other night… tried to attack me. Did attack me.” She curls her legs up and clutches her arms around them. “I had a bottle of wine and I smashed it on his head.”

  I release a tilted smile at her bravery but it doesn’t work to prevent the anger building inside me. “Damn, I never should have left you alone.”

  “You can’t watch me forever. Anyway, I know why these guys are after me now.” Her voice comes out croaky. “They’re after a stash of drugs. This guy—Big Johnson, he said—thinks I have them.”

  “Christ.” I drag a hand through my hair. I inch cautiously up toward her, sliding along the bed until I’m sitting next to her. “Can I look at your neck?” She nods but her body goes rigid as I brush aside her hair. She’s terrified. “I’m not going to hurt you,” I murmur.

  She drops her gaze. “I know.” Tears well in her eyes, tugging my heart.

  “Hey,” I soothe and skim my fingertips over her neck. I’m not quite sure what to do now. I want answers. I need answers. But I need to reassure Sienna first. “Hey,” I repeat, inching closer and closing the gap between us.

  My hand ends up pressed under her hair and I press her forehead flat against my chest. She loops a hand around my neck and I have to concentrate on not getting turned on when her slender body lines up with mine.

  “No one will hurt you again, I promise.”

  She nods against me. I need to get her out of her wine-stained clothes but I can feel her heart hammering heavily still so I settle on just holding her. I listen as her breaths slow and consider my next move.

  We need to find these damned drugs and put an end to this. I can’t see her that scared ever again. The need to take action, to tear this guy’s throat out burns deep in my gut but I force myself to relax. I kiss her hair and wait. Sienna doesn’t need me running around the city, baying for blood, especially when we still know virtually nothing about who’s after her.

  Eventually she falls asleep. Whatever happened clearly shocked the hell out of her to make her so tired. But hopefully she’ll feel better when she wakes up. I draw my tingling arm carefully out from underneath her, wincing when she mutters. Thankfully, she stays asleep and I climb off the bed and tuck the sheets around her. I take a moment to observe her and swipe a hand through my hair.

  So peaceful and beautiful. Her lips are parted and I hear each slow breath. It soothes away a little of my rage to see her safe and exquisite. A tiny curl of auburn hair trails down her neck and her hands are tucked by her side. She’s still covered in wine but I can’t bring myself to risk waking her by taking her top off. Not that I don’t itch to touch that insanely gorgeous body. I shake my head at myself. Not what I need to be thinking about right now.

  Maybe if I stare at her long enough it will erase the image of her terror from my mind. I have this God-awful feeling I scared her. I don’t know if it was just that this attacker terrified her out of her mind or what, but something feels off. I definitely startled her but surely she’d be relieved to see me. I sure as hell would never have expected Sienna to faint in my arms. I mean, the woman’s a nurse. She’s not exactly the type who’s prone to fainting.

  I have to do something. Turning on my heel, I take a quick peek at her over my shoulder and stride into the kitchen. I debate the coffee pot but really I need a beer. Or a few. It’s been a tense few days. Actually a tense few years. Wanting your best friend’s wife does take its toll. I’ve kept myself busy with other girlfriends—even hoped they’d take her place in my heart—but none have been able to match up to Sienna. Whatever happens, I need to keep her safe in the hopes that soon she’ll recognize we are meant to be together. I have no doubts whatsoever she’s meant for me. You can’t know a person as well as I do Sienna and still love them after all these years if she’s not The One. Yeah, it’s sappy, but I’ve never been one to kid myself. If I had to I’d write poetry and… I don’t know… sing songs and shower her with roses and trips to Paris or whatever. Sienna makes a man want to do anything just to be with her.

  After helping myself to a coffee, I grab her laptop from the bookcase and settle on the couch. Thank fuck for Google. I flip it open and power it up, tapping impatiently at the mouse pad. Big Johnson she said. Well, Mr. Big Johnson may be some big criminal but even he can’t keep himself off the internet. It might not help but at least I’ll know what I’m up against.

  After a few searches for Johnson and drugs and Glenwood, I finally come up with several news articles. Mr. Harvey Johnson of Johnson Shipping. It seems the cops have been after him for a while but have had no luck. The last case to go to court was thrown out. On pap
er, the guy is just a legitimate businessman, working in the shipping industry. Problem is, it looks like he’s pretty rich and able to bribe his way out of most situations. A chill races up my spine. It doesn’t bode well for us.

  I find a picture of him on one of the local paper’s websites of him coming out a courtroom, and stare at it for a while. Grey-haired, pretty respectable looking. Doesn’t stop me from hating him. Not only has he threatened my girl but he’s ruined her life. I don’t know… Rob was probably already screwed before he started dealing, but I can’t help feeling this guy just pushed Rob over the edge. All the secrets, the illegal activities, must have driven Rob over. Maybe that’s why he drank so much? I could kick myself for not seeing it sooner or taking action. I wish I knew what I could have done. Rob wouldn’t listen to reason. He seemed to think it was all a great laugh. Life’s short, he’d say. Lighten up, Nick.

  I get that. I live with the proof of that on my leg and the memory of those three guys who died. I’ll never forget any of them but they did teach me to keep going, to keep persevering and to be the best I can be. Which is why I won’t ever give up on Sienna. I want to be the best man I can be for her.

  Blowing out a breath, I shut the laptop and dig out my cell from my pocket. I scroll through and find Ginge’s number. If anyone has any idea just how deep Rob was, it will be him. It’s pretty bad when the guy you used to think of as your best friend is a total stranger in so many ways. I honestly didn’t think Rob had gotten this deep.

  “Yep.” Ginge’s voice comes through.

  “Hey, Ginge.”

  “Hey, man, heard you put in some compassionate. Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

  “Sure? I’ve got your back if you need anything.”

  “I’m fine, but I do need to pick your brain.”

  “Shoot, man.”

  “You know that kid who got kicked out? The one who named Rob as his dealer? Do you know anything more about that?”

  I hear a slow exhale. “What’s going on, Nick? Why are you digging into this? Isn’t it better to leave it? Rest in peace and all that.”

  I understand Ginge’s reservations. Protect our own. It’s kind of an instinctual thing. You train and work in such close quarters that your brothers-in-arms are practically closer than family. You protect each other, in life and in the field. But sometimes, they don’t deserve protecting. I’m not sure Rob deserved any of it.

  “Sienna’s in trouble. And it’s linked to Rob’s dealing.”

  “Shit… Sienna, of course. I should have known.”

  I hear the smile in his voice. Ginge is a smart guy and probably one of the only ones to figure out how I felt about Sienna. Yeah there was gossip about us, but mostly from the wives. And as long as Sienna was okay with it, it didn’t matter to me. As far as I was concerned, I’d put up with anything to be by her side, supporting her, and Rob trusted me. In fact, Rob undoubtedly thought I’d keep away any other potential predators. But still, I’d never have done anything anyway. Not like that. It sounds corny but Sienna’s too special for the type of sordid behavior that comes with an affair.

  With a groan, I shake my head. “Look, you got any info for me or not? I’m going in blind here and I don’t like it.”

  “I don’t know much to be honest, Nick. The guy said Rob dealt in coke. I don’t know where he got it from, only that he used to meet with someone in the city. Rob was pretty good at keeping it all under wraps, as you well know.”

  I sigh. “Yeah, I know. Truth is, I had no idea all this was going down. I knew he was messed up but to go down this path… Geez.”

  “You know Rob. You couldn’t have talked him out of it.”

  “Yeah I know Rob.” Rubbing my hand across the back of my neck, I correct myself, “Knew Rob. Just do me a favor and ask around. I’m stuck on what to do about this right now, but the more I know, the better I’ll feel about all this.”

  “No worries, man. Just keep your head low, okay?”

  “Will do.” I hear the rustle of sheets and straighten. If Sienna’s waking, I want to be by her side. “I’ve gotta go. Cheers, man.”

  “See ya.”

  I jab the end call button and leave my phone on the couch arm. When I stroll into Sienna’s room, she’s stirring and she rolls onto her back and her gaze connects with mine. I’m edgy, my pulse beating erratically. I’m not sure what to do. Unspent adrenaline reels through me. With everything I’ve learned and everything she’s been through, I’m all geared up for a fight.

  The slightest flash of fright flares in her eyes, taking the wind out of me. Fuck. She’s been scared to death and I’m looking like I’m ready to tear down the apartment. Slowly, softly, I approach.

  “You okay, babe?”

  “I don’t know,” she admits quietly.

  I climb on the bed and glance into her eyes. God, I want to make it all okay. I’m just not sure how to. I get a little lost when it comes to Sienna sometimes. I want to feel cocky and confident again. I want to figure out exactly where to push and when to hold back. Is this a moment to push or to wait?

  But there’s something in her gaze that makes the decision for me. The fear is gone and her eyes are smoky. Maybe she’s suffering from a delayed adrenaline rush too but I’m not going to question it. I’m going to push and push until I’m all the way in her heart. I’d grin if I wasn’t so scared for her. Poor girl doesn’t stand a chance.

  ***

  Sienna

  The little skip, skip of my heart is slightly sickening. How can I go from scared to… to so needy in less than ten seconds? The sight of Nick on my bed seems to short circuit my brain. I’m pretty sure I can feel explosions going on behind my eyes. Memories of being pressed against him, of him inside me, combust in my mind.

  One arm comes around my waist and draws me close in understanding. I wish he couldn’t read me so well sometimes. The fear of earlier has been replaced with something much more urgent and frightening. His thumb rubs roughly across my cheek as he coaxes my face up and away from his chest. His eyes are sincere and guilt jabs me for even imagining he might hurt me. My chest tightens as his callused thumb continues to smooth across my face. I want it. I can’t help it. I need him to kiss me. My lips tingle in anticipation and I hold my breath.

  I don’t know if it’s adrenaline that numbs my common sense when it comes to Nick or what, but the pain in my neck has all but gone. The hammering of my heart is replaced with a steady throb of desire. His gaze drops to my lips and I wait for him to close the distance between us but I suspect he’s waiting for my permission.

  I tighten my grip on the back of his neck, fearful he might pull away, and I bring my lips to his. We hover there, exchange breaths and heat for a moment, and when we finally connect, its slow and acute. I’m aware of every tiny touch of his lips on mine. Before I can deepen it, he pulls back and drops his hand to my wine-soaked top. His smile tilts.

  “We need to get you out of that top.”

  I inhale sharply. I couldn’t care less about my top but I do care about feeling Nick’s hands on me. It must be the adrenaline, I decide, but for the moment, I don’t give a shit. I shift downward and lie back as his fingers toy with the hemline of my top. He inches it up slowly, agonizingly slowly, before positioning himself next to me. His length aligns with mine as he props himself up on one elbow to watch the revealing of my flesh.

  He pulls my top over my flat stomach and dips his head down to my belly. I squirm as his mouth skims my belly button then lower to the waistline of my jeans. Then he comes back up and kisses my ribs as he urges my top over my bra and helps me remove it the rest of the way. Nick brings his mouth back down, taking the time to kiss my collar bone and cleavage before coaxing a nipple out of my bra. It’s so slow and sensual, yet earthy and raw. I love watching him— this rough, tough soldier being so gentle and careful, treating me as if I’m made of glass. There’s something basic about the sensations between us as if we need no tricks, no
toys. Just us and naked skin. But there’s no desperation like before. Nick is going to take his time with me and he’s guaranteed to blow my mind.

  I gasp as he takes my nipple in his mouth, the damp warmth is insanely arousing and my nipples harden further to an almost painful point. I stroke a hand through his hair, taking pleasure in the way it sticks up and looks all mussed. I love him like this. All messy and hot for me.

  “You taste delicious. Fruity and delicious,” he tells me as he raises his head briefly.

  Using his tongue, he swirls it around my nipple, between my breasts and then returns to probe my mouth. I kiss him back eagerly but match his leisurely pace, determined to savor the flavor of him. Even if this is a mistake, I’m going to enjoy every minute of it. And with the way he kisses me, I don’t see how it ever could be.

  “Oh God, touch me, Nick,” I beg as his fingers skim my hips and dip beneath my jeans.

  He grips one hip and slides his leg between mine. The heat of his thigh traverses the fabric and I unthinkingly rub against it, sparks of pleasure alighting in my juncture.

  I manage to slip a hand between us and cup his arousal through his jeans. He’s hot and heavy and I ache for him. I ache more than ever before. Instead of sating my need for him, our previous time together seems to have increased it. Now I know what it’s like, my body craves him all the more.

  He hisses and draws back to unsnap my jeans. I go to touch him again but he stops me. “Don’t do that, babe. You drive me crazy when you touch me and I want to take my time. Last time was too quick. I didn’t have time to appreciate you.”

  He draws my jeans and panties down in one swift movement, leaving me bare from the waist down. Air swirls about my heated sex and I fight the urge to cover myself as his gaze traces my body. I concentrate on stroking a hand up and down one muscled arm, tracing the pattern of his tattoo until he finally unclips my bra at the front and spreads it apart. Nick’s eyes light up and I swallow.

  This was what I always wanted. What any woman wants, probably. To be looked at like this. As if you are the most beautiful woman in the world.