Out of Character

by Annabeth Albert

  “I know you could.” Jasper squeezed my arm, his grip warm and steadying, even through my coat. “You’ve got a special talent. And even if it’s classes at the community college or something like that, you should pursue it. And explore the housing situation.”

  “Maybe.” It was almost too much to take, the sudden infusion of hope dizzying. And daunting. Jasper might be ready to dream big on my behalf, but I had reality tethering me in place. I might want, but could I truly outrun my past? I wasn’t so sure. I looked away. “How’s the math problem coming?”

  “It’s coming.” Jasper apparently wasn’t done helping, and he tore off one of the slips of paper and stuck it in my pocket before continuing. “There’s not many places for something to hide here. I looked all around the doorframe for Professor Tuttle’s office and his mailbox slot. I keep expecting one of the numbers here to line up with a room number, but so far no luck. Sorry.”

  “No worries.” Now it was my turn to pat him. “You keep working. I’ll go back to pacing—”

  “Wait. Pacing.” Jasper’s eyes went big. “Milo, stand at Professor Tuttle’s door and count out twenty-one paces to the south.”

  “Got it.” That took me back into the atrium, but I stopped exactly on the twenty-first step and awaited further instructions from Jasper.

  “Now fifteen paces east.” Jasper clicked away on his phone.

  I carefully pivoted and measured out the steps, landing in front of a sculpture that was probably supposed to represent some math process but it looked like endless spirals to me. “Now what?”

  “We hope this thing isn’t alarmed.” Coming over to where I stood, Jasper laughed as he crouched down near the base, which had many legs like a spider. “And here’s to hoping I don’t topple it.”

  “You won’t.” If he could think I was capable of doing something with my art, the least I could do was believe he wouldn’t bring this thing crashing down upon us.

  “I love your faith in me.” His smile was spring break in Florida warm.

  “Always.” I kept staring at him, willing him to believe, even after he went back to searching. His triumphant noise broke my concentration, though, and had me bending to join him.

  “And here it is.” He came up with another tiny box, which revealed a laminated scrap of paper. “Another clue to scan.”

  Pulling out his phone again, he came up with a new page, this one a picture that looked like an overhead shot of a play mat with all the Odyssey game pieces arranged on it.

  “What’s this one?” I asked. “A game board?”

  “It’s set up like it’s midgame. That’s the card library—”

  “Library.” I grinned at him and pointed out the windows across campus to the majestic library near where we’d parked.

  “Okay, Boy Wonder, where are we headed when we reach the library? It’s huge, and I don’t have much longer before I have to run you home and be at work.” Frowning, Jasper tapped at the clock on his phone.

  I studied the board more closely. “Apparently the depths of hell, if you go by the cards spread out.”

  Jasper pursed his mouth, eyes narrowing before they snapped open wide. “The lower levels. Basement it is.”

  Hurrying across campus, we didn’t talk much, and I tried to ignore the cramping in my leg. The campus was pretty deserted as everyone was probably either huddled up studying or still sleeping off their Saturday night. I’d spent a lot of years around this place thanks to my mom’s job, but unlike Jasper, I’d never imagined myself actually here as a student. However, as we passed the art building, I had a brief what-if moment as a pair of students exited the huge doors of the gleaming glass-and-steel building. Could I really go as far with my art as Jasper seemed to think? Maybe not here, but somewhere? It was like a peek at a future I wasn’t sure I’d ever get.

  Once in the library, we made our way through the stacks and study carrels down to the dusty lower levels, which got increasingly lonesome and musty-smelling with more cramped shelves and worse lighting.

  “Damn. It’s crowded down here.” Jasper pulled his phone back out as we reached the lowest and darkest level. The shelves were tight enough that we had to walk single file until we reached a wider aisle. No other humans were in sight down here, which wasn’t surprising as there weren’t any study carrels or group rooms down here. “I don’t even know where to start.”

  “Okay, so we’re in the library, in the depths of hell, and if we follow Odyssey lore, what happens next?” Like him, I was a little overwhelmed at the sheer number of books because no way could we search even this one level before Jasper had to be at work.

  “A reaper appears to guide us.” Jasper laughed, then started pacing as he sobered. “More seriously, we use our scrolls to cast something and then move to attack.”

  “Did you say reaper? The angels of death, right? How about that?” I pointed at the farthest wall, which had a long, narrow painting above the shelves. It looked old, all muted colors, and a whole flock of angry-looking angels surrounding some sort of horned beast.

  “Yes.” Jasper made a happy noise that made my body remember exactly how much I’d loved everything we’d done the previous night and that morning. “You’re brilliant.”

  He gave me a swift, hard kiss that had my skin heating even more. Maybe if we didn’t find the cards, we could put our relative isolation down here to good use.

  “Nah. You’re the smart one.” I followed him to the shelves directly below the painting. Remembering how he’d found the first two clues, I started by running my fingers under shelves. Jasper, however, hung back. His face wrinkled in that deep-thinking mode he had.

  “Now, which of these books are about attacking?” Eyes narrowing, Jasper bounced on his heels before grinning. “Or scrolls. Look.”

  On the uppermost shelf, a series of particularly dated books caught my eye, some sort of encyclopedia set about the Dead Sea scrolls.

  “Scrolls!” I ran my fingers under the shelf that held the books, but I found only cold metal. Undaunted, Jasper examined each book. I caught on to the idea, and standing next to each other, we worked inward. I liked being a team together, liked figuring this stuff out with him, and even if we didn’t find a card, this was still my favorite morning in a very long time. Leaning in, I brushed my lips over his temple.

  Blushing, he turned toward me. “What was that for?”

  “Nothing. Just…I’m happy. That’s all.”

  “Good.” Jasper snuck in another quick kiss. “You make me happy too.”

  My chest had maybe never been that full. I couldn’t not kiss him in that moment, but when I went in for the kiss, he wasn’t ready and I got a mouth full of hair. In trying to right himself, he bumped into the shelf and several books rained down on us.

  I reached out to steady him, trying to shield him from the book tsunami. “Whoa.”

  Laughing, we kissed for real, then bent to retrieve the books and replace them on the shelves.

  “Wait. Look behind.” Jasper hopped up and down, but I was taller, allowing me to make the discovery that it wasn’t a solid wall behind the books. My hands found a box that was lurking, tucked between the books and the wall. “Of course. Move the scrolls, reveal the bounty.”

  “This is too big to be another clue.” I withdrew a flat wooden box with the Odyssey symbol etched on the front. My hands shook as I held it out to Jasper. We opened it together and peered in. Another card with a digital code on it was on top, then two random Odyssey cards that meant nothing to me but earned a whistle from Jasper. And then we gasped in unison.

  “The queen.” The card was encased in thick plastic, and Jasper trailed a finger down its front.

  “Yes.” I pumped my fist before giving him a loud kiss on the cheek that resonated in the quiet. “We did it.”

  “We did.” His smile could have powered the Empire State Buildin
g as he withdrew the card and handed it to me. He fished out the plastic-sleeved rares from his coat. “Now we update the digital log with what I’m leaving behind. I’ll use a code name for us for our find.”

  “Dynamic duo?” I grinned at him because that was totally what we were. We were an excellent team.

  “That works.” Jasper clicked around on his phone for a few moments before we carefully replaced the hiding spot and headed out of the stacks. “Now let’s get you and your prize back to your place.”

  “Our prize.” No way was I taking all the credit when it had been both of us, working together.

  “Okay.” Jasper paused right by the elevators, turning back toward me. “Milo…”

  “Yeah?” I wasn’t sure I liked his cautious tone. Or his super-long pause, interrupted only by the ding of the elevator arriving.

  “Nothing.” He gave a weighty sigh that I liked even less than that pause. He hit the button, and we were on our way out of the library before he spoke again. “It’s nothing. Really. Just that I hope you—we—find the other two cards. So that Bruno never has to know.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed readily, trying to keep up with his fast pace toward the parking lot. And judging by Jasper’s frown, that hadn’t been the right answer. “Is that bad? I just don’t want him to think I’m a screwup. Again.”

  “I know.” Jasper voice was even, but his eyes were sad. “But…maybe all you can do is be you?”

  Well, wasn’t that the question of the week! And I had a flip answer ready, but the part of me that truly was trying to change, the part that felt safe and true around Jasper but no one else, that part let a whisper escape. “What if that’s not enough?”

  “It is. You are enough.” Jasper’s voice was firm as he squeezed both of my arms next to his car, looking deep into my eyes. For a second I thought he was going to kiss me, right there in the open, and shockingly, I was disappointed when he shook his head as he released me instead. “You don’t believe me.”

  “I…” I couldn’t lie. “I’m trying.”

  “Okay.” Shoulders slumping, he nodded. “I’m going to be late if we don’t hurry.”

  “I can do the bus—”

  “On a Sunday? You’ll be waiting an hour. No.” Jasper gestured for me to get in the car. “We’ll just hurry.”

  “My life is in your hands,” I joked as we sped through town, but I meant it on multiple levels. What if I wasn’t changing fast enough for him? What if he got tired of waiting for me to figure my shit out?

  Before I could find anything resembling an answer, we arrived back at my place. And I’d had every intention of kissing him goodbye, but he was looking straight ahead, not at me. I glanced up at the apartment window and couldn’t tell whether the curtain actually moved or not. Crap. My stomach cramped.

  “You’re going to be late,” I said instead of kissing him, patting his leg like that might make up for my weak goodbye.

  “Yeah.” Jasper finally looked my direction, and when he did, his eyes were sad again. “Text me?”

  “You know it.” I smiled for him but wasn’t surprised when he didn’t return it. I slowly made my way up to the apartment where I discovered nine million beer bottles, a dozen empty pizza boxes, a weird stench, and Luther asleep on the couch, arm batting at the window. What the hell? I could have kissed Jasper after all. I was such an idiot.

  “What happened here?” I put all my disgust at myself into my tone.

  “Sorry.” Luther blinked awake, shoving his dingy hair out of his face, and yanking his T-shirt down. “Must have fallen asleep out here.”

  “You reek, man.” I was so not in the mood to sugarcoat it. “Good party?”

  “I guess. James went home with someone.” Luther managed to seem rather shocked that no one had chosen him and his three-day-old T-shirt to get lucky with.

  “Good for him.” The less we said about who went where last night the better, as far as I was concerned.

  “Yeah. He better show back up by tomorrow, though. Job’s sending our crew across town.” Luther made a pained face. The two of them worked for a janitorial services company, managing to make more than me even as they complained bitterly about the work, which involved a lot of cleaning up after construction and renovation projects. “It’s at the hospital. I better not get sick, all the viruses there.”

  “Dude. All the viruses here.” I gestured at the filth before heading to the kitchen for some trash bags.

  “Okay, point taken.” Luther groaned and headed to the bathroom.

  Even after I heard the shower click on, I couldn’t shake my unease. I should have been happy. We’d scored one of the missing cards. But I could still see Jasper’s sad eyes, the questions he hadn’t asked, the kiss I hadn’t given him. I tossed a few more beer cans before fingering the scrap of paper in my coat pocket with the information about that room for rent. I needed to get out of this place. And hell, what was that about James and Luther being assigned to a hospital? Was it the children’s hospital?

  Even if it was, no way could I bail on Jasper now, not after he’d done so much for me. I took some deep breaths. I could do this. I was a changed—changing—person. It would all work out. I had to believe that, had to ignore the wobble in my stomach. Jasper was counting on me, but maybe more important, I was counting on me.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Jasper

  My phone dinged with a message as soon as I let myself into my room after work, and I didn’t have to look to know who it was. I miss your room.

  Because your roommates trashed your place? Jaw tight, I typed fast. I was still all kinds of mixed up where Milo was concerned, even more so after our awkward parting. I’d had that moment in the parking lot when I’d gazed deep into his eyes and I’d seen uncertainty. Like peering into a murky crystal ball and seeing the shadow of a guy who didn’t quite believe he was worthy.

  He might be trying to change, but he was also scared to death of the possible consequences of those changes. And that made it hard to trust that any changes he made would stick. Which Milo was he going to be long-term? My best friend or the guy who ghosted on me when I needed him? Frustrating as all of that was, however, he was also the guy who had held me all night long, the one who made treasure hunting fun, and the one I couldn’t wait to see again. Not surprisingly, my heart still thumped when a reply came in.

  Well, that and your room has *you*

  So you miss me? I wasn’t above making him say it, and I took way more satisfaction in the three dots that said he was replying than I should have.

  So much. Is that cool to say? We left things kinda… He’d added an emoji of a guy with question marks over his head. My fault?

  I exhaled hard and flopped onto my bed, coat and all. It was actually made, for once, Milo having somehow accomplished that even in the rush of getting dressed. It wasn’t his fault that I’d had a minor freak-out at the realization that I might be heading for heartbreak with someone unable to give me what I needed. I’d been so happy to find the card, but resignation had come fast on the heels of the initial rush. If he couldn’t tell Bruno that he’d messed up with the cards, was he ever going to come out to anyone else who mattered to him? It was one thing to sneak a few kisses in quiet spaces, and another to decide to live fully and openly. To be the sort of boyfriend I craved, the one I could trust with my heart.

  We’re cool. I lied because as much as I was twisted up over him, I also wasn’t about to end this or to be the kind of guy who gave him an ultimatum simply because we’d shared some incredible hours together. My pillow still smelled like his shampoo, and my head danced with all the good moments of the last twenty-four hours. My gut might say we needed to have a serious talk, but my heart wanted to give him space to arrive at the same scary, wonderful place as me.

  Good. His one-word reply would have further frustrated me, but he’d added an image. And m
y breath hung up on my rapidly expanding heart. It was him. Not a goofy selfie, but a cartoon-style drawing. Same sporty haircut, same winter coat, and a text bubble that said “I’m sorry.”

  Boom. Forget hoping I wasn’t falling too hard for him. No, I was falling soft, landing in a vat of cotton candy, all sticky and sweet.

  Thanks. Cute drawing. My heart wanted to say so much more, but my gut was still working itself out.

  Milo’s reply came fast. I should have kissed you goodbye. Been thinking about that all afternoon. Another missed chance.

  Sad Milo was back, and he wormed his way past my pitiful attempts to protect myself. There will be more chances.

  That earned me a happy-face emoji. Soon?

  I laughed aloud to my empty room. It felt smaller and colder without him in it. Wednesday after cosplay?

  I owe you pizza.

  I replied with a smiley face of my own. Wanna have it in my room?

  There was a longish pause, but the wait was worth it because cartoon Milo was back, this time with heart eyes. I touched my phone, like that might bring him here sooner.

  It’s a date. I started counting down the hours as soon as I sent the text, knew I’d be angling to see him even before that. I had it bad, and that was a huge problem. I should know better than to give Milo Lionetti extra chances, but here we were, and hell if I could pull back now.

  * * *

  “Looking good, Neptune.” I gave Milo an exaggerated once-over as I emerged from my stall in the men’s room at the children’s hospital Wednesday. He looked damn good in his toga, perhaps more so now that I knew exactly what he had under there. I could preach how superficial looks were all day long, but there was no denying Milo’s attractiveness.

  “That’s Prince Neptune to you.” He nodded, expression all haughty and regal. Last night, he’d drawn cartoon Milo in the toga, and his chin had exactly that same tilt.

  “Oh, is that how you want to play this?” I gently poked him in the chest. We were alone in the restroom, and I’d missed him for three days now. I’d earned a little flirtation.