Scratch the Matchmaker

by Austin Daniels

  I didn't know what to say. I was the guy who already felt engaged when I slipped on the shirt. Part of my inner survival reflexes were keeping me from coming up with words, and when there were none, I realized I was about to cry. It came and shook me, taking my breath. The sound it generated was feral. It was followed by another and another. I was bawling in front of the man I wanted to impress more than anyone, and I didn't even know why. "I'm so sorry…" I said between involuntary sobs. "I don't know what…"

  Richard pulled me into his arms and my head settled on his chest and the tears came and gradually went. When I was done, I was certain my eyes were red and swollen, and I sat back, looking at Richard and knowing in my soul that, at least for now, I was his property if he still wanted me. I dare not tell him, I thought. Wouldn't that be the lie though? I saw the black curly hair peeking through the top of his t-shirt and the words blazoned across the front, and I knew I had to be honest with him. My emotion cleared. "You know, you own me. I've never quite felt taken the way I do right now. The idea that I could feel this deeply and having never been with you is… scary, but it brings me a strange peace at the same time."

  "It takes a strong person to be a sub. Sometimes emotions seem a little out of place. Your tears aren't sadness though, are they?"

  "No. I'm actually really happy." I scooted down, lying on the couch with my head in his lap, looking up at him. "You must think I'm a mess."

  "I think… you might just be perfect. As a matter of fact, after our conversation and your reaction to what I had to say, I'm sure of it."

  I thought I was going to tear up again when I was distracted by a large lump under my head. "Is that you?"

  "Yeah… that's me. You didn't think I could have a man I thought might just be perfect with his head in my lap tell me I owned him without a response, did you?"

  I started to roll over to get a look, but he pulled me back. "Tell you what, since I can see you're weakening in your resolve to wait until the right time, and since I suspect that is going to be my job in the future, let's agree that our moment, which will be soon, will be up to me. I don't want you to carry that burden."

  "Deal," I said, and a weight I hadn't realized I was carrying lifted from my shoulders. My only concern was that if it was a surprise I wanted to be prepared."

  "We both have school and we both have busy schedules. I want to be able to see you whenever I can, even if we just meet long enough to scarf down a sandwich before we have to run."

  "Yeah, me too, but Richard…" Running my finger across the fur poking out from the neck of his t-shirt, I said, "If we continue to feel like we both want what's happening between us…"

  "I like the way you put that."

  "Do you think we might want to someday live in the same place—I mean together?"

  "Yes, but we both still have much to learn about the other. Pursuing a relationship outside the bounds of our social training is a skill we're both learning, and since we're piecing together our own tailor-made relationship, we still have a lot to learn. I think it's going to be something great for both of us. Living together is a convenience, but when we make that move, and I'm sure we will, I want it to be on our terms under our rules. I just want to know if that happens, it's permanent.

  "Now, not to change the subject, but when are you going to see your friends again?"

  "I'm not sure. We all have new boyfriends, so their availability just changed."

  "Boyfriends, that's cute. You are so much more than a boyfriend. I think we should plan a day where I learn what you like to do. You did the day date with me and we went hiking. Now it's my turn to experience you in your element. Maybe I should meet your friends."

  Having already run my finger across his t-shirt, I continued slowly across his belt buckle. "Okay, I'll check with them in the morning. In the meantime, can I inspect that lump that's..."

  Pulling back, Richard shook his head no. "I have a suggestion. I think we need a new rule… No teasing me. At least not now, not when I'm in charge of when we start."

  "Well… okay," I said, making an intentional frown. "As long as we get there before I bust. When do you think we can…?"

  "Soon. I want it to be perfect. I still have much I want to show you. In the meantime, do you trust me?"

  "Yes, I do." I wasn't sure I really believed it until he asked, but I did trust him. I trusted him already with a part of my heart I'd never shared with anyone. I didn't even think I'd be jealous of him if I saw someone hitting on him. Something deep inside me told me this guy was just as owned by me as I was by him. I didn't understand it, but all the signs seemed to be there—whatever they were. In any case, I felt a certain confidence. Maybe that confidence is part of trust.

  "I trust you too. That means both of us need to get tested, for everything."

  I wondered if he meant what I thought he meant. "I can email my doctor tonight on his service. He'll write the order and I should be able to get tested in a day or two."

  "Me too."

  "Results don't take long, and they have a secure website where I can see the results."

  "Tell you what: let's plan to compare notes at the end of the week. Oh, and Jay?"

  "Yeah?"

  "I want you to know something. No matter what they find, it won't matter. We just need to know. Understand?"

  "Yeah," I said, wondering how comfortable I was going to be if I had to tell Richard I came up positive for anything. Then I remembered something. I trusted him. "Richard?"

  "Yeah."

  "Same here, which leads me to this: If I come up totally clean and you come up totally clean does that mean our first time will be…."

  Richard just nodded with an adorable smile.

  I'd never done that before. It seemed fitting for it to be with Richard. Nothing would separate us.

  Chapter Twelve

  Jay

  Knowing I had to get my mind off the current topic, I decided to tell Richard about the theory Logan had about Scratch. "I better tell you now, because I know after you see Logan again, he's going to tell you, and I don't want you to think he's some kind of a nut. It's just… Well, he has this theory and it is a little spooky."

  "Sounds good. Let's hear it."

  "Well, Scratch is basically the catalyst that brought you and me together, right?"

  "Now that you mention it…" Picking up Scratch, Richard put him on his lap and stroked him. Scratch tried to kiss him, but Richard held him away.

  "Well, the day we dropped Scratch off at Logan's house, he took Scratch to the park."

  Looking like he couldn't figure out what this had to do with anything, Richard said, "Okay."

  "He got loose from his collar and ran across the park, where he was rescued by a nice guy who now practically worships the ground Logan walks on."

  "Continue."

  "Later, I took Scratch to lunch with Johnny, and my brothers."

  "That would be Robin and Finch."

  "How did you remember that?"

  "Who could possibly forget?

  "Anyway, while we were all at the restaurant, a lady who was just passing by got hit on by our server and my brother Robin started something with a guy we knew from high school whose dad owns the restaurant."

  "You took your dog to Johnny's birthday dinner?"

  "Is that what you got out of all that? Yes, I did. There was outdoor seating, and I was thinking maybe Finch might be affected by Scratch's ability. Finch is always kind of alone, and I thought if there was any truth to Logan's theory, maybe Scratch could find someone special for him."

  Richard's face lit up. "So this crazy theory isn't just a little bit Logan, is it? What do you think?"

  "I think it needs more testing, but keep in mind, the sheer number of matches that happened when people were touching him. He's matched up Jake, Marty, Logan, Johnny, the server in the restaurant, not to mention us. The only thing they all have in common is they were all touching Scratch when it happened."

  "You know the right pers
on isn't always around."

  "Remember with Logan: Scratch had to run through the park to find his special someone."

  "What's his boyfriend's name anyway?"

  "He didn't say. He's like that though. Logan probably wants to make sure he sticks around before he presents him."

  "You know, to test Scratch's ability, he should be alone with someone new and be allowed to pick from among a lot of people. What about Finch? I can't believe I know your brothers' names by heart already." Patting me on the back, he said, "The bird thing has a use, after all."

  I reached over and took Scratch off Richard's lap. I realized Richard had been here all this time and was already about to leave and I hadn't even kissed him. The shirt exchange kind of interrupted my planned hello kiss, and the intimate conversation that followed held my attention from then on. Setting Scratch on the floor, I scooted over on the couch, taking Richard's shoulders in my hands. Pulling him toward me, I was delighted when he took over. Pinning me back against the couch, he leaned forward. As he slowly got closer, he continued to hold eye contact with me. I usually close my eyes by now, but this time I couldn't. I had to see this. His lips grazed mine. The tip of his tongue painted the outside of my lips and he finally pressed forward. Reaching up around his shoulders, I closed my eyes and buried myself into that kiss. When he did finally pull away, he took my hand in his and pressed it down into his lap.

  "Don't ever think I'm putting this off because I don't want you. Not now and not ever. You can feel my want."

  I could feel the thickness below the fabric of his pants. He was already deeply affected by our kiss. I grabbed his hand to prove to him that it was mutual. "Seriously, when do you think we can...?"

  "Soon, but for now, I better go. My resolve is weakening, and that wouldn't be good for us."

  We rose and I walked him to the door. A goodbye kiss, pressing our bodies together, just made it all worse. I pushed him away, saying, "Let's not make it too long." After Richard left, I closed the door, leaning against it. I could not believe the depth of the conversation I'd had with that man. Something about breaking it down into emotional reactions and passion made the bonding more intense. Two people just don't feel this strongly this soon, I thought. Or do they? Maybe that's really the way it always works. Maybe it's just all the living that comes later that determines if it stands the test of time that takes so long. Maybe it always works just like this. I was too new to all this to know from experience. It was time to call my friends.

  I sat back down on the couch for a moment. My experience with Richard left me a little bit shaken. I hadn't realized it, but somehow my senses seemed a little bit off when I was around him. It was like I'd taken a drug or something, not enough to feel its full effects, but enough to know everything wasn't quite normal. Sitting on the couch I took a few deep breaths and picked up an old magazine. Reading through one of the articles seemed to restart my senses. I knew that Richard was special, but I didn't know how special until today. Having someone treat me the way he did was something new in my life. I'd never felt so desired. I couldn't imagine anything I would add to him.

  I picked up the phone and hit speed dial. I needed Logan. He had a way of giving me a little backbone when I needed it and I needed it now. Half of me was overwhelmed with joy. Half of me was realizing that if David was enough to send me toward a two day drunk, someone like Richard could do me some serious emotional damage and it was already too late to protect myself from that.

  While the phone finished connecting, it dawned on me that a relationship with Richard was one of those risks I had to take. If I scared myself out of this one I'd hate myself for it, never knowing how it might have turned out. Realizing that took most of my fear away. Someday, I'll have to tell him about this, I thought. "Hello, Logan?"

  "Oh, my god, Jay I've been meaning to call you. My new boyfriend's kept me so busy. He's not just cute and smart and loving; I think he might just be the perfect man for me! I started talking to him like I was going to take off a few pounds and he had a fit. He wants me just the way I am, the way I've always been. He doesn't want me to change one bit. To prove it he showed me a collection of pictures of naked guys he had on his computer. Seriously, they're all just like me. Short, a little on the chubby side, the ones with clothes on even dressed like me. Not only am I totally his type, he helps around my apartment without being intrusive. He fixes things and he cooks like you wouldn't believe. His dream is to have his own restaurant."

  "That's awesome! What's his name?"

  "Well, about that. I need to tell you something." There was a pause. I think it was less for effect than for Logan to take a fresh breath and build his courage. "You see his name is Finch."

  I didn't know what to say. It was obvious that his Finch was my brother once again finding a chubby boy who'd jump at the chance to be with him. He was going to use him and… I took a deep breath to calm myself long enough to find the words to tell Logan. Maybe he hadn't put it all together. "Finch?" I said trying not to yell. "Your new boyfriend's name is Finch? Logan, my brother Finch lives somewhere on the other side of the park by your house. Is that the park you met this Finch in?"

  "I'm coming over there right now," Logan told me suddenly, and hung up the phone.

  I'll kill him, I thought. How dare he hurt Logan. My best friend was dating my slime-ball older brother. I had to plan this out. In this case, presentation was everything. He'd be at my door in five minutes, and I had to find a way to keep Logan safe without somehow saying he wasn't attractive enough to tempt my brother. This wasn't going to be easy. Pictures on his computer of heavy dudes? That's a new low even for Finch.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Logan

  Me and my big mouth. I hadn't wanted to tell Jay over the phone, but when he asked, I wasn't about to lie to him. It was done. There aren't exactly a lot of men named Finch. He knew I was dating his brother. He was going to try to tell me Finch was horrible and could never really like me.

  Jay was a sweet guy, so he'd tried to find a way to cushion it. My first instinct was to call Finch and get him to come over, but something told me that would just raise emotions, and I somehow had to cushion the initial impact myself. Finch was going to play his part, but that would come later.

  It was a short trip to Jay's apartment. Before I was sure of what I was going to say, I'd arrived and was knocking at the door. As the door opened, I saw Jay with the most serious expression I'd ever seen on him. This isn't going to be easy, I thought.

  Pulling me through the door he said, "Follow me," and headed into the living room. Sitting on the couch, Jay gestured to the seat next to him, tapping on the fabric. Every movement he made was just a little bit more energetic than it had to be, making me wonder if he wasn't about to show me his violent side. It was like living at home in high school and coming in after curfew all over again. But this time I wasn't in high school. This time I was going to take over this conversation, and there was no time like the present. "Before you start to try to find some way to tell me Finch is going to take me to bed and dump me because I'm the short, dumpy fat guy nobody could ever love, I want you to listen to something."

  Jay's face fell. I'd let the air out of his balloon. I don't think it occurred to him that I'd remember this part of his story about his brother. He'd defined me as one of the unattractive men who'd be a victim to his brother. I was made of sterner stuff than that and I resented the implication. Looking him dead in the eye, I said, "First of all, I want you to consider the possibility that the world is a better place than you believe it to be."

  Standing back up, Jay faced me and with a voice just audibly raised he said, "What the hell are you—?"

  I wasn't about to let go of this conversation and let him take over. "Don't talk—listen. I've spent some time with Finch, a lot more than you have in a very long time. On top of all that, I've been heavy a long time. I'm familiar with the type of man you believe your brother to be, familiar enough to know one when I see one.

/>   "Additionally, I'm familiar with a different kind of man. Let's call it men who have a special 'type'. When I say 'type,' I'm referring to that rare bird who thinks that sexy men tend to be on the rounder side. You expect your brother to act the way he did when you were ten. Did you know he loves you, that he's proud of you? He told me as much. He thinks you have courage, and he wants to have a relationship with you. He thinks you cut him off when he outed you. He thinks that you think he hates you. He doesn't hate you; he admires your strength of character. He told me that."

  "But he outed me," Jay blurted out. Before making an expression like he realized that wouldn't fly. "Oh, God, that sounds childish even to me."

  "He knows he outed you, but only after you outed him."

  "He's lying then. How did I out him? The family already knew about him."

  "You sat at the table and said he was trying to pick up 'fat guys.'"

  "Yeah, but he was."

  Leaning into his face, I practically yelled, "And you were trying to pick up boys. Do the math… Earth to Jay…Earth to Jay…Don't you get it?"

  I could see the wheels turning. My message was starting to gel. Logan sat quietly for a moment before he finally said, "You don't really think…"

  "Easy does it. You better think about what you're about to say." Looking at my face and hearing my warning, he realized his next response could end our friendship.

  "But those guys got hurt. He wouldn't call them afterwards and… "

  "Oh, and you do? I can count a half a dozen guys who sat at home waiting for you to call them. Some people don't call and say 'this just doesn't feel right.' I know you don't. It just happens. That's what dating is all about. Finding the one who rings all the bells and makes you wonder when they're going to call isn't easy. We don't meet the perfect person every time we go on a date. Usually one of us is happy and the other one isn't. Can Finch help it if he's desirable? Can you?