Falling into You

by Jackson, A. L.

  A goner before I’d even known I’d been struck.

  Sounded about right when it came to Richard Ramsey.

  Intense, green eyes flashed ire and spite, as if he had the right to be angry with me, his chest heaving as he grated the words near my face. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  I jerked my arm free, my teeth grinding and my eyes squeezed shut when I spat, “Don’t touch me.”

  Did a whole lot of good considering it only afforded him the space to edge in an additional inch, a wraith that boxed me in between the shadows of the cavernous, deserted hall.

  The man towered over me, and his head dropped closer to mine, his breath a soft caress across my cheek though his words were sharp as razors. “And what? You think I should just let you go? Let you walk away from me?”

  “You have plenty of experience with that, don’t you? Letting me go?” I shouldn’t have opened my eyes, shouldn’t have allowed myself to look at that face that glared down at me with this violence and agony that I couldn’t process.

  That I couldn’t understand.

  My eyes raced to take it all in, and my mind spun like mad with every question he’d left me with while my hands ached to run across the hard planes of his gorgeous body.

  His dark aura hit me like a bad dream that I didn’t ever want to wake from. A decadent, smooth chocolate melting on my tongue that hit my bloodstream like a straight shot of poison.

  Every angle of his face was carved and chiseled and sharp, except for those full, velvet lips that rested somewhere between loathing and horror.

  Hair cropped on the sides and longer on top, darkened to a bronzed brown over the years, like every bit of him had aged and deepened and changed.

  Like he’d stepped right into that role of a music god. Harsh and intense.

  A dark poet.

  The shocking potency of it left me all kinds of foolish.

  Impulsive and rash.

  The way he always made me.

  Unable to stop myself, I reached out and barely brushed my fingertips along the distinct curve of his rugged jaw.

  Such a fool.

  “God, Richard, what happened to you?”

  When did he become a man I didn’t recognize? Doing exactly the opposite of what I’d trusted him to do.

  He flinched and snatched me by the wrist again, only this time, to stop me from touching him. “Don’t.”

  I lifted my chin in defiance. “You used to like it when I touched you.”

  A bolt of fury left his nose. No doubt, I was playing with fire.

  “That was a long time ago,” he grated.

  “And what changed?” I didn’t mean for my voice to slip into a plea. For the suffering he’d caused to come tumbling out.

  His eyes dropped closed, and his jaw clenched. I caressed it, the scruff that coated his face, like I was attempting to dip my fingers into the past and knowing I’d never find my way there.

  Knowing it had been nothing but a fallacy.

  A fantasy.

  I pulled my hand away and pressed closer to the wall like I could disappear into it. Still, the man pinned me.

  Trapping me in the gaze that had always hypnotized.

  The man had always been nothing but a tornado blowing through.

  “What are you doing here, Violet? Told you to stay away. From me. From my family. You think you can just waltz in here like you belong? Because let’s be clear…you don’t.”

  Every muscle in his body flexed.

  Hard. Rippling with an anger that had come into existence sometime when I hadn’t been paying close enough attention. Or maybe I’d just been too lovedrunk on the man to see what was lying in wait.

  The cruelty that scorched his spirit and sparked from his mouth.

  “Then let me go,” I whispered hard. “You’re the one who chased after me.”

  Pain lanced through his expression like it was possible that this was as hard for him as it was for me.

  “Goddamn it.” He exhaled a breath of dire recklessness, and his forehead dropped to mine, his voice dragging through the guttural rasp, “Goddamn it, Violet, I don’t know how.”

  Confusion churned and spiraled and whipped.

  This agony that shouted, why, why, why?

  How could we be perfect one minute and the next he was leaving me with some pathetic excuse of a note that said goodbye?

  I fought it—the tears that wanted to surface—only for both of us to freeze with the gasp that ripped through the air.

  Richard’s attention jumped over his shoulder.

  Emily stood twenty feet away, shock and disbelief and hope in her eyes. “Violet?”

  She said it like a question.

  Like she couldn’t believe I was there.

  I was having a hard time believing it, too.

  Richard pushed away from where he had me pinned, freeing my body but there was no chance he could free me from the clutch he had on my soul.

  Forcing a bright smile, I swiped at the moisture that leaked down my cheeks. “Emily. Hi.”

  “You’re here,” she whispered in that low, sweet voice.

  I stumbled away from Richard and toward her. Knees weak and my heart flailing. “I’m…I’m sorry. I-I just wanted to see you. To see your happiness for myself. I didn’t mean to overstep.”

  Richard’s sister shook her head. “Why would you say that? I invited you. I wanted you here.”

  The low rumble of a moan echoed from behind. There was nothing I could do but look toward it.

  At the man who now had his back pinned to the wall, like he was hooked there, being tortured, his brow twisted in anguish.

  Wearing a fitted suit and looking like the star I’d always known he would be. A few tattoos leaked out from under the sleeves of his jacket, the man standing like mayhem and chaos.

  I tore my gaze away because continuing to stare at him was liable to do me in. Rip out the last thread that was holding me together.

  “I’m so happy for you,” I told Emily, the words barely heard through the emotion that clogged my throat.

  She came for me, and she wrapped me in her arms and hugged me tight.

  Relief gushed from my lungs, and I squeezed my eyes shut as I hugged her as hard as I could, as if it might make up for the lost time.

  “Congratulations,” I murmured.

  Her arms tightened around me. “I’m happy, Vi. Truly happy.”

  She pulled back and took me by both hands, swinging our arms between us. “I missed you so much.”

  “I missed you, too.”

  Her attention landed on her brother, and it felt as if the two of us had gotten stuck in the middle of a thunderstorm. No place to go but to stand under the ferocity of it.

  Their gazes held, and I could feel it when he gave, when he retreated down the hall. Wave after wave of anger hit us in his wake.

  She shifted back to look at me, her signature blonde curls bouncing over her shoulders, as pretty as she’d ever been. “I’m so sorry about him, Violet. So sorry that he would act like this.”

  A feeble smile wobbled at the corner of my mouth. “Please…don’t be. He brought us together, didn’t he?”

  She reached out and played with a lock of my hair. “And he tore us apart.”

  “He tore a lot of things apart.”

  Her green eyes that were so much like her brother’s searched me, this opalescent sage that made me ache and covered me in warmth. “How have you been?” she asked, studying me for the reaction.

  “I’m great.”

  It was a lie, but that was okay. Sometimes you had to tell them in order to get by.

  Sadness darkened Emily’s expression, and she squeezed my hands in a show of support. “I heard about your mama. I’m so sorry. How is she doing?”

  Affection wavered all over my mouth, sorrow and love swimming through the words. “As feisty as ever except for the fact she hardly has the energy to get out of bed.”

  “And Daisy?” Emily didn’t wait fo
r an answer.

  Instead, her confession flooded out in a rush, “I was gonna come by, you know. I’d already decided once I got back…while we’re here on this break…that I was coming to you. No more of this. No more of you not in my life. It’s not worth living life in regret, and I was hoping you might need me as much as I’ve needed you.”

  “I do…I missed you more than I can say.”

  I fought for a lighter subject. The last thing I wanted to do was put a damper on her party.

  I turned my attention to the rock on her finger that was as big as the one rolling around in my throat. I lifted her hand between us, refusing to let her go now that we had the connection. “Wow…that is some kind of statement.”

  Adoration oozed from her pores. “Royce can be…a little over the top.”

  “Over the top is just fine as long as he is over the top for you.”

  Wistfulness fluttered through her expression. “I found my heart, Vi. He might look my opposite, but he is my exact match.”

  “I’m so happy for you. Truly. And the band…I heard y’all struck it big. Got signed with a major label.”

  I pinned on the brightest, fakest smile.

  “We did. Everything I’ve ever wanted is coming to be. I’m so blessed.”

  Another tear slipped free, but this one was nothing but joy. She brought my hand to her flat belly.

  “Oh,” I murmured on a gasp. “Oh wow, you’re gonna be a mama?”

  She nodded like crazy. “Yes. I still can hardly believe it.”

  “Oh goodness, Em.”

  Happiness tangled with my sorrow.

  She glanced around covertly like we were being watched.

  “No one else knows yet except for my family and Mel, of course.”

  I grinned through a sniffle.

  Mel, that crazy girl. She was Emily’s best friend which meant she’d become one of mine.

  “Where is she?”

  “Oh, who knows. Probably downstairs knocking some poor, unsuspecting fool down a notch or two.”

  I laughed, unable to believe that we were like this.

  Us.

  Like no time had passed.

  Except for the fact that everything had changed.

  “I didn’t mean to cause a hiccup in your party. Honest. I just wanted to tell you congratulations. See for myself that he was good for you. Wish you all the joy in the world.”

  “Don’t say it like I’m not gonna see you again.”

  Regret trembled my chin. “I’m not sure hanging around is such a good idea.”

  “Rich made his choice. He doesn’t get to make ours.”

  “What if it hurts too much?” It was out before I thought through the admission, but I’d only ever been up front with Emily.

  She caught her bottom lip between her teeth, and her head tilted to the side. “And what if it hurts too much without us?”

  I warred, chewing at the inside of my cheek, before I suggested, “Lunch?”

  She giggled. “I was thinking something a little more along the lines of dress shopping, but I’m sure we could fit lunch in, too.”

  My brow furrowed.

  She squeezed my hands in emphasis. “I want you to be in my weddin’, Violet.”

  “Em.”

  Distress blazed. Misery over what she was asking and grief over the thought of saying no.

  “Please. I miss you. I want you standing beside me when I take the most important step of my life.”

  I nodded, even though a horrible feeling was taking me over. “I’d be honored.”

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  It would have been a whole lot more convincing if the word hadn’t cracked.

  I angled my head toward the stairs. “Now, you better get back to your party.”

  “Are you going to be okay? Are you sure you don’t want to come down? I’d love to introduce you to Royce.”

  “Someday soon, but I think I need to call it a night.”

  She hesitated before she nodded and leaned in for a quick hug. “Okay. I’ll talk to you soon. And I mean that.” The last she said with a bolt of carefree laughter, pointing at me as if she had me pegged.

  “I’m sure you do.” I let lightness weave into the words.

  I watched her as she turned and headed back for the stairs, tossing me a soft smile as she went. I waited until she’d gone and then worked to gather myself. To put myself back together.

  Then I lifted my chin and headed for the stairs as if the man didn’t have the power to affect me. To set me off-kilter.

  I had too much to be living for to give him the power.

  It was a valiant effort, but it didn’t change the fact I could feel the weight of him as I edged down the stairs. It didn’t change the potent energy that lashed and flared and chased me into the night.

  His eyes daggers as he watched me go.

  Four

  Richard

  There’s a thing about living a lie.

  That lie eats at you. Festers and decays and rots away the good until the only thing that remains is regret.

  From where I was hidden below the staircase, I watched her flee across the lobby.

  Let her go.

  I could have chanted the plea a thousand times and I doubted it would have made a dent in the urge that screamed at me not to let her out of my sight.

  To love and to cherish and to protect.

  She blew out the hotel doors in a riot of color.

  Violet and magenta and teal.

  Hair a striking black.

  A moonflower in distress.

  My guts knotted with the chaos she incited. I might have been the one who’d had her backed against a wall, but she was the one who had me chained.

  A motherfucking prisoner.

  Possession rose like a storm, a roar that intensified. My hands curled into fists like it might keep me rooted to the spot.

  No chance I could ignore the call. Not after I’d been sure some scumbag had come riffling around like a predator cloaked in the night.

  I edged out the door, gaze instantly peering to the right where she quickened down the sidewalk, her heels clacking on the pebbled stones.

  She ducked into the same old truck she’d driven since I’d met her that she had parked at the curb. Not a second passed before the loud engine rumbled to life like a low roll of thunder in the dense, thick night.

  She whipped out of the spot and accelerated down the road.

  I jogged to my truck parked on the opposite side, climbed in, pushed the button to the ignition, and pulled out behind her.

  My headlights cut through the night, and her taillights were nothing but a haze of red dots up in the distance.

  I forced myself not to tail her too close. To give her some semblance of space and respect when the only thing I wanted to do was toss her over my shoulder and carry her away where I could keep her safe.

  Was pretty sure she wouldn’t be too keen on the idea.

  I followed her through town, keeping back a block, slowing even more as she took the two-lane road that led out into the rolling hills outside of Dalton.

  Farms on every side.

  My pulse skittered in a stagnant beat of loss as I drove the deserted road that was so familiar. A million memories rushing and gathering and screaming their truth.

  “I love you. Forever.”

  “Not ever gonna let you go.” My voice a growl as I held her close. As I touched her and adored her.

  My fairy girl.

  My magic.

  My reason.

  My insides panged in a want and a loyalty that I’d twisted and mangled so fuckin’ bad they were no longer recognizable.

  I eased around the sweeping curve that I knew would bring the modest farmhouse into view.

  Still, it struck me like it was the first time I was seeing it. Like I was going to meet her parents and confess what their daughter had done to me.

  Slayed me with a look.

  It was off to
the right, perched high on the hill.

  Tonight, it was lit in a dreary moonlight.

  Quaint and peaceful and safe.

  It overlooked the rolling planes that went on forever behind it.

  Rows and rows of flowers, shrubs, and blossoming trees grew over the acres.

  Rolling Wallflowers.

  The flower farm that was the heart and soul of who Violet was.

  My spirit ached and throbbed like it was looking for its rightful place. So near. So far out of reach.

  “You are the light hung in my night sky.”

  “You are the sun breaking with morning’s day,” she whispered back.

  Like some kind of stalker, I pulled off to the side of the road.

  Watched.

  Watched her truck jostle up the dirt road and come to a stop in front of the wraparound porch. The lights cut off, and a couple seconds later, a shadow of her shape climbed to the porch, wrapped in the glow of the lights hanging on either side of the door.

  She disappeared inside, and my stomach clutched when I saw the light flicker on through the window upstairs a moment later.

  Sorrow smacked me across the face.

  Every dream that we had wished.

  But that’s what happened when you cast lots.

  When you made bad bets.

  When you thought for even a second something else might be more important than this.

  You lost.

  * * *

  Fifteen minutes later, I was driving up the narrow one-lane road that led to my childhood home. No chance could I show face back at Emily and Royce’s party tonight.

  No doubt, Emily was itching to string me up by the balls.

  Would deserve it, but still, I wasn’t looking for a fight. She and I had had it out enough as of late. The lies I’d been telling, the dark space I’d been keeping her in, making her question my motives.

  Her trust.

  When I’d been pushing her to sign with Mylton Records when she didn’t understand my reason—my desperation behind it—coming off like a complete prick, like someone who hadn’t given a shit about her hopes and dreams and wants when it was the farthest from the truth.

  It’d fuckin’ sucked.

  But I’d tell lies until my mouth rotted off if that’s what it took.