Falling into You

by Jackson, A. L.

  Why did she have to affect me this way?

  Make me sweat and ache with want?

  Why did that sweet body have to be the perfect shape?

  The exact outline of what was missing from the middle of me.

  She turned over the engine. It rumbled to life, so loud I was sure my mom could hear it from the other side of town.

  She started to put it into reverse, and I was moving, unable to watch her go. I rushed to the window and planted my hands on the door, leaning in through the window. “Fuck. Violet.”

  She scowled. “Kindly let go of my truck.”

  Except the tone of her voice wasn’t so kind.

  “I can’t.”

  She scoffed. “I’m fairly sure you can. You just pry those selfish fingers off the metal and step back. And then what you do is stay far, far away.”

  Those selfish fingers she was referring to curled tighter into the window frame. “I need to know that you two are safe.”

  She laughed a biting sound. “Oh. That’s brilliant. But if you need to know, we’ve been doing just fine by ourselves. You don’t need to concern yourself. I know you’re not really, anyway.”

  The words hitched at the end.

  Nothing fine about it.

  “I’m sorry, Violet. So fuckin’ sorry.”

  She shook her head with a disbelieving laugh. “You’re sorry?”

  “I am. Sorrier than I can explain.”

  Would take it back if I could. If there was a single thing I could change. But what I had done had been written in stone.

  My penalty carved in the bedrock.

  The foundation of who we were forever altered.

  “You’ve got to be kiddin’ me,” she muttered below her breath.

  “You think I wanted it? To hurt you?”

  “Don’t start givin’ excuses now.”

  “I’m not trying to make excuses, but we need to talk.”

  What I would tell her, I didn’t know. But my guts curled. Instinct kicking. Inciting a rage. The urge to keep them close. Even if it would hurt more in the end.

  “Absolutely not,” she shot out.

  “Need to talk to you. Won’t take no for an answer.”

  “Oh, well you’re gonna have to because in case you didn’t notice, I don’t like you very much.”

  I roughed one hand through my hair, looking away, still holding on with the other because I didn’t know how to let her drive away. “Please, Vi. Need to explain a few things.”

  What the hell I thought I was going to say, I didn’t know.

  Only thing I did know was I needed to ensure she was safe. Keep a close eye. Laying low like Royce had told me to do just wasn’t gonna work.

  Standing there?

  That had become a fact.

  She angled forward fast, catching me off guard. Her head was outside the window and she had us nose to nose, venom on her breath as she seethed the words, “First you chase me down last night saying you want to talk to me, then you turn around to tell me to stay away from your family, and now you’re chasin’ me out here? I’m not doing this. Stay away from us, Richard. I don’t know what your game is, but I’m tellin’ you right now, our plates are full. That child back there?”

  Her voice lowered more.

  A bear protecting its cub.

  Vicious and sure.

  “She loves fast and she loves hard. You had your chance with her, and you lost it. So, don’t you dare come sniffin’ around here. It’s too late. My heart can’t handle it, and neither can hers.”

  With that, the truck lurched into reverse, and I stumbled back to get away from the front wheel as she tore out of the spot. Violet refused to look at me as she shifted it into gear and rumbled toward the main road.

  But Daisy waved as they passed, and my heart shattered a little more.

  Violet made a left out onto the main road, the truck roaring as it accelerated.

  I looked to the sky and shouted, “Fuck.”

  A hand clamped down on my shoulder, and I jumped ten feet in the air.

  Rhys cracked up. “You’re fucked, man. Always wondered. Guess I should have known.”

  “You don’t know anything.”

  “Don’t know anything?” he challenged as he followed behind me to his car.

  “Nope,” I told him, shoving around to the passenger side.

  He clicked the locks, and I climbed in. Knee bouncing a million miles a minute. Heart frantic. Stomach in knots.

  Rhys slipped inside. His cocky demeanor gone. He pushed out a heavy sigh as he gripped the steering wheel. “I know a couple things, man. One, you’ve been missing something for years. Hiding something. Burdened in a way I didn’t quite get.” He shifted his attention over to stare at me. “And I know after that right there?” He hooked a thumb toward the spot where Violet had been. “You lied when you said you didn’t love her anymore.”

  He pushed the button to start the powerful engine.

  “Now the question is…” He threw it in reverse and glared over at me as he backed out of the parking spot. “…what are you going to do about it?”

  Seven

  Violet

  A cool breeze stirred through the mornin’ air, and I pulled the collar of Daisy’s jacket up higher around her neck as I knelt in front of her. She squished up her nose in the cutest way.

  “I hope you have a wonderful day at school today.” I brushed back a dark lock of hair that whipped around her face. “Remember, open your heart and your mind to all the beautiful, amazing things out there waiting for you.”

  She grinned. “And I hope you have the most wonderfulest day at work. Remember to opens your heart and makes sure not to smash any flowers.”

  Affectionate laughter rippled free. “I will definitely try to have a great day, but that’s hard to do when I’m missing you so much.”

  I tapped her nose when I said it.

  She giggled and sang, “You not gonna miss me that bad.”

  This time I poked her chubby belly. “Oh, yes, I will,” I sang right back.

  Her expression turned sly. “Maybe I can just stay here and work with you. It’s gonna be my job, anyway, when I’m the boss.”

  I gave her a stern look that was nothing but a tease.

  She giggled more. “Okay. Fine. I got to go to school. Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

  On light laughter, I pushed to standing when I heard the bus rumbling up the hill. She’d been trying that one on me ever since she started preschool the year before.

  The little yellow bus that picked up the kindergarteners came into view as it rounded the curve, and it rambled to a stop in front of our drive. The door whined open, and the driver shouted from his spot, “Good mornin’, Miss Daisy and Miss Violet.”

  I waved at him, Daisy’s other hand still in mine. “Good mornin’, Mr. Duprea. How are you?”

  “Can’t complain on this fine Wednesday mornin’.”

  “I can!” Daisy shouted.

  This kid.

  “Get on that bus, you silly girl.” I dipped down and kissed her cheek.

  She threw her arms around my neck and held on like she wasn’t about to let go.

  It’s the only thing I wanted. To hold onto her forever. “I loves you the mostest!” she squealed.

  “No way!” I teased back through the rising emotion.

  “Uh-huh!”

  That was what she left me with when she pulled away and jogged to the bus, her little backpack bouncing all over. She climbed the steps. “All right, take me to school, my mommy says I have to learn all the things.”

  “That’s because you’re sharp as a tack,” he told her.

  “I prefer scotch tape. Much safer,” she replied. One-hundred-percent serious.

  A bark of a laugh left me, and I hugged my arms over my chest like it could stop the surge of love that wanted to come spilling out.

  My sweet, wild girl.

  Chuckling, Mr. Duprea gave me a salute as he shut the door, and Daisy slipped into h
er seat, only to slide over so she could press her face to the window, giving me a distorted grin against the glass.

  Nothing but a precious goofball.

  I waved, mouthed, “I love you.”

  “I love you,” she mimicked.

  I love you the most. Forever and through all eternity.

  I watched as the bus rambled away. I finally gave up and headed back up the drive when the tail of it disappeared around the bend. My boots crunched on the gravel, the sounds of the morning floodin’ the space with peace and the promise of grace.

  I tried to cling to it. To make it my own.

  But I couldn’t escape the uneasiness that skimmed my flesh with each lick of the cool fall breeze.

  Winter coming. Something cold that I couldn’t warm.

  I trudged up the porch steps, brushed off my soles on the mat, and stepped inside. Daddy was in his chair drinking his morning coffee, TV on to one of those morning news stations.

  I went right for him. “Good morning, Daddy.”

  I pecked a kiss to his head as if he were the child.

  He sent me a soft smile. “Good morning, bella. Coffee is ready.”

  “Thank goodness, I’m goin’ to need an entire pot.”

  I had a ton to do today.

  “…the executive director of the…” the reporter on the television droned.

  I tsked. “Don’t you know starting your day off to bad news is not good for you? It sets a terrible tone for your mood, you know.”

  He waved me off. “I’m not even listening. It’s only background noise, my worry wart.”

  “If you were sittin’ on the porch, the birds would sound a whole lot better.”

  Sadness softened his expression, and he pointed toward the ceiling. “I think I’ll stay right here and listen for her to stir.”

  My insides twisted in a clutch of pain.

  God. I should have realized what he was doing.

  Sitting on the porch having coffee had been their routine. Their perfect way to start the day.

  “Okay. Just…let me know if you need anything. I need to get to work. There are quite a few orders that need delivered today.”

  “Business is blooming.” He waved an indulgent hand in the air.

  Even through the wash of sorrow, I managed a grin. My daddy’s belief riding in the air. He’d used that phrase my entire life. Those words inspiring me from such a young age. Inciting the passion to watch beautiful things grow. To cultivate it. The amazement that something could come from next to nothin’, just a tiny seed that grew to the fullness of life.

  Every flower like the hope of a new day.

  A better day.

  “It is blooming beautifully,” I told him softly, our gazes holding for a minute. In it was the promise that we were in this together. That neither of us were alone.

  Finally, I gave him a faint smile. “Have a great mornin’, Daddy. I’ve got my phone if you need me.”

  I started for the kitchen, only to freeze when I heard the name mentioned in the background.

  Carolina George.

  My hand shot out to the doorframe, and my heart skipped an erratic beat. I slowly turned around to whatever news story was coming across the airways, knowing I should pay it no mind, pretend it didn’t exist, but unable to stop myself from listening.

  All of it too close.

  Like I could reach out and touch it. Be part of it again.

  Richard’s face flashed through my mind. The desperation of his plea from three days ago. The look in his eyes that had punched me in the guts and left me questioning everything.

  I needed to stay away.

  Build a hedge of protection around Daisy and myself. Shun every advance because the man could not be trusted.

  Not those seductive words or those knowing eyes or those wicked, magical hands.

  I shivered at the thought.

  And I’d been the fool who’d accepted Emily’s invitation to stand up in her weddin’.

  But how could I have said no?

  “…Carolina George was to sign with the mega-record label back in August. Karl Fitzgerald, the CEO of Mylton records, was arrested during that fateful meeting. He is facing charges of embezzlement, extortion, obstruction of justice, human trafficking, child endangerment, among other accusations. If convicted, he could face up to 200 years in prison.”

  A picture of an older man in a suit came up on the screen. Just lookin’ at him sent my skin crawling. The man was smarmy and smug. Cocky. Reeking of an arrogance that hadn’t been earned but had been stolen.

  A second later, the screen flashed to another man.

  Royce Reed.

  Emily’s fiancé.

  Shock left me on a lurching breath.

  I stumbled forward, completely trapped by the story.

  Of course, I’d heard some of the rumors that had spread faster than the plague around town, people whispering about the trouble the members of Carolina George were mixed up in, but I’d ignored it the best that I could.

  Now it felt impossible.

  “Royce Reed, the stepson and second-in-line to Karl Fitzgerald, is said to be cooperating with the prosecution in the matter. Four weeks after Reed took the top spot at Mylton Records after Karl Fitzgerald’s arrest, the company was acquired by Stone Industries, a record label based out of Savannah, Georgia. It’s expected members of the bands closest to Fitzgerald will be subpoenaed to testify, including Emily Ramsey of Carolina George who has made allegations against Cory Douglas and Karl Fitzgerald. Adding to the speculation, it is reported Emily Ramsey is now involved with Royce Reed.”

  It shifted to a reporter shouting at Royce as he walked down the street with his hand wrapped in Emily’s.

  “Royce, how do you feel about the accusations brought against your stepfather?”

  He didn’t stop walking, just said over his shoulder, “I wish nothing more than to see justice served, and I’ll do everything I can to see that it is.”

  The clip ended and the reporter was back on the screen with a picture of another man on the screen beside her. “Cory Douglas, the lead singer of the well-known rock band, A Riot of Roses, was also arrested on charges of sexual assault. Studio 4 News has learned Royce Reed used to front A Riot of Roses before a two-year jail sentence for a conviction on an assault of none other than Cory Douglas. It was announced a week ago Royce Reed has reclaimed the spot as the band’s lead and is set to hit the studio with A Riot of Roses in the coming months.” Sickness slipped across my flesh.

  I’d met that man before.

  Cory Douglas.

  Was it sad to admit this report didn’t surprise me?

  The way instinct had kicked in the second he’d come into the room?

  Megawatt smile and depravity on his face?

  One look, and my stomach had curled with an internal warning that had blared for me to stay far away with the volume set to ten.

  The lens panned to a second reporter in the main office. He whistled a disbelieving sound as he shuffled the papers on the counter in front of him. “It will be interesting to see how this plays out.”

  The female reporter nodded. “It seems there are many layers to this complex case. I’ll be following the trial closely and will give updates as new details come to light.”

  “We’ll be waiting. Thank you, Nancy.”

  The screen shifted to focus on the main reporter again.

  While I just stood there.

  Dumbfounded.

  Struck.

  Mind racin’ to catch up. To piece together the facts when it was clear I was missin’ so many of them.

  A horrible feeling sank to the pit of my stomach.

  Positive that Emily was involved, in deep, but not sure how far it went.

  I felt my daddy’s gaze on my face. “Oh, bella.”

  I forced a wobbly smile and a feeble shrug that said more than it should. “I guess I’m a little out of touch.”

  “For your own well-being,” he argued for me.
<
br />   “She was my best friend. Like a sister to me.”

  He nodded slow. “Just…be careful, mi amor. Un corazón roto no puede sanar cuando está siendo aplastado.”

  A broken heart cannot heal when it’s being crushed.

  “Don’t worry, Daddy. It’s already scarred over. Hard as a rock.”

  Sympathy flushed his face, and I dipped through the entryway to the kitchen before I had to face any more questions. Before I had to face what I was feelin’.

  This urge to go to Emily and beg her to let me hold some of what she was bearing.

  Worse was the urge to go to Richard and ask him for details.

  For a way into their lives, when the best thing I could do was stay on the outside.

  Heck, even sneaking along the perimeter felt dangerous.

  Deciding I would only talk to Emily about it if she chose to confide in me, I shoved the tumult of worry off and focused on what I needed to accomplish today. I filled up a tumbler full of coffee and doused it with cream before I headed out the back door.

  The air had warmed a fraction, and I lifted my face to the blue sky that was scattered with wisps of clouds. And I tried not to hear the music written there. Hidden with the stars behind the light.

  Where the darkness could so easily drag me back into his arms.

  Richard.

  My spirit whispered his name.

  My mind was quick to put a lid on it.

  That was just reckless thinkin’. Especially with him near. It was a whole ton easier to long for him in the nights when he was so far out of reach. What wasn’t so easy was resisting him when he was beggin’ me for face-time.

  No chance was I going there. No chance was I giving in.

  That connection that came alive when he was around didn’t mean a thing.

  It was just lashes crying out from an old broken dream.

  I headed down the path toward the acres and acres of flowers. There was basically every breed that would grow on this land and some we tried to bribe with extra love.

  Saul saw me coming, already hard at work, probably there since before dawn.

  He took off his hat. “Mornin’, Violet.”

  “Good mornin’. How are you today?” I called as I approached.

  “Better than ever.”

  His attitude managed to pull a slight smile out of me.