Falling into You

by Jackson, A. L.

  The child losing footing.

  Losing hold.

  She screamed as she started to fall through the dense branches.

  My spirit groaned in a plea of agony.

  A moaning from deep within as I stood there helpless.

  My breath hitched when she caught onto one and held it by a single hand, but she was dangling way up high, and my heart was on the ground as terror took hold of every cell.

  “Daisy. Don’t let go.” The words barely broke free from the fear locking up my throat.

  Mabel whimpered.

  “Oh, god,” Emily whispered as everyone rushed forward.

  “Shit,” Royce grunted. He darted for the tree and started to scale it. “Hang on, Daisy.”

  “Don’t let go. Hold on,” I shouted, finally freeing the sound locked in my throat.

  I rushed for the trunk of the tree, following behind Royce and shouting, “Hold on, baby. Hold on. We’re comin’ for you.”

  But she was screaming. Screaming my name. “Mommy! I slippin’.”

  No.

  No. No. No. Her hold broke.

  A whorl of black hair streaked through my vision.

  My turmoil filled the air. “Daisy!” I screamed, trying to get to her but knowing there was no chance.

  Out of reach.

  Too late. Too late.

  The Earth spun, and the ground quaked.

  Dread took hold.

  Because I knew it.

  Knew she was too high. She was too high and I knew this was going to end bad and there was absolutely nothin’ I could do.

  The air whipped and dust flew where she made impact.

  The magnitude of it brought me to my knees. I went for her, feeling like I was crawlin’ through the rubble, moving in slow motion toward where she had fallen.

  This child who was the world.

  My reason.

  My joy.

  My light.

  I’d almost made it to her by the time the dust settled.

  I realized it wasn’t just Daisy.

  He was there.

  The child was in a ball against Richard’s chest.

  “Oh god,” I whimpered, shocked and unsure and trying to process what it was that I was seeing.

  Wondering if I was hallucinating to save myself from the grief.

  Sobs ripping from my throat, I climbed to my feet and staggered the rest of the way over to where Richard was holding her in those arms that I had once been so sure had been created to love and protect, my ribs feeling as if they were being ripped in two.

  Everything holding me together pulling me apart.

  From within the well of his hold, Daisy wailed.

  I dropped back to my knees, tearing at his arms to get to her. “Daisy, oh baby, Daisy, are you hurt? Are you hurt?”

  Reluctantly, Richard let his arms drop away.

  She sat up on his lap. “My wrist hurts real bad.” Then she wailed when she looked at the dirty shoes on her feet. “Oh no, I ruined my best shoes,” she cried out.

  I completely crumbled.

  Relief. Relief.

  The only strength I had left was enough to gather her into my lap. Into my arms.

  Tears streamed free. Hot and hard and blinding my sight.

  I hugged her close, shushed her, and whispered, “It’s okay, it’s okay. We’ll get you another pair.”

  I looked at the man from over her head where he’d pushed up to sitting two feet away, roughing agitated hands through his hair.

  The man who looked like he’d been wrecked.

  Utterly destroyed.

  If only he knew what that really felt like.

  Eleven

  Richard

  What the fuck just happened?

  My heart stampeded, like a thousand thoroughbreds raced around a track carved in the void in my chest while I stared at the woman who was looking at me like she couldn’t believe what I’d done.

  Those eyes on me while her soul trembled and shook.

  Her fear so patent I could taste it. The terror of what could have been.

  The air was held in the meadow.

  Like even the wind was afraid to move.

  Everyone frozen in this shock that ricocheted between Violet and me.

  Fuck.

  It’d been instinct. Running to catch the child. Being there. Like my spirit had known exactly where it was supposed to be all along.

  Her tiny body ascribed to the surety of my arms.

  But that was the motherfucking problem.

  I was made to protect her.

  Made to protect them.

  Thing was, doing it was a crime itself. Breaking the promise I’d made.

  But if I hadn’t been there?

  At the thought, my pulse stuttered in dread, this thick, sticky fear that slugged through my veins.

  Every second I was here it became clearer where I belonged.

  Except I would never be accepted.

  Just a fool’s game hoping for forgiveness.

  For redemption.

  Didn’t mean I would give so easily.

  Violet was on the ground. So close. Making me itch.

  Terror struck in those thunderbolt eyes.

  She stared across at me through the connection that whipped and snapped.

  Like she wondered if I could understand.

  I wanted to get lost there. In her gaze. In this feeling that urged me to crawl to them, wrap them up, and promise I would never leave.

  Bullshit.

  A motherfucking pipe dream that would only burn me in the end.

  Crush and destroy.

  My mom was the first to shoot into action.

  She ran around me to get to Violet and the child, and I scrubbed both palms over my face like it could eradicate every thought that had just blazed through my mind.

  Like it could stop what I could feel being set into motion.

  The greed that pulsed.

  Devotion a drum that grew in intensity.

  My mom knelt in front of them. Affection and agony oozed from her pores, and fuck, that slayed me, too.

  Still, she managed to keep it together. “Daisy, it’s Ms. Mabel. Are you okay, sweetheart? Whew, that was some fall you took there. Scared the dickens out of us all.”

  “I ruins my shoes,” the child wailed again. “Now I won’t be able to be in the weddin’.”

  My mom chuckled low. “Well, they are a mighty fine pair of shoes, aren’t they? But I think we can figure something out for the weddin’. Don’t you worry about that.”

  “Are you sure?” Daisy asked her, sniffling and rubbing her hands over her tear-stained face, smearing the dirt into mud.

  Mel, Em, and Maggie hovered over them. Unsure of what to do.

  “Is she okay?” Emily shook out her hands like she could shake off the tremors. “God. That was…” she trailed off.

  Royce was behind her, two feet away. I cut him a glance. He sent one back.

  It was close. Too damn close.

  “How about you let me take a look at those shoes?” my mother prodded, shifting her on Violet’s lap so she could get a look.

  Gentle in the way that only she could be.

  While Violet struggled to maintain composure. But I knew the girl well enough to know when she was getting ready to crumble.

  “My, these are fancy,” Ma said in her soothing way. “I bet you could dance all night long in these beauties, couldn’t you?”

  Daisy sniffled but smiled this earth-shattering smile.

  My chest tightened.

  “Yups! My mommy said I’m the bestest dancer she’s ever seen. I got lessons, you know.”

  “Wow, that is somethin’. You are a special girl, aren’t you? A very special girl.” My mother’s voice hitched.

  Daisy’s shoulders lifted to her ears, a smile splitting her face that was smeared with dirt and tracks of tears.

  So fuckin’ cute.

  So fuckin’ dangerous.

  My mom felt around her leg
s. “Any pain when I touch your legs?”

  “Nope.”

  “Okay. Good. How about I take a look at that arm now?”

  Daisy had it tucked to her chest, protecting it. Reluctantly, she let it go so my mom could take a look.

  Daisy winced when she touched her right wrist. “Ouch!”

  “Is that tender, right there?”

  Clearly, the kid was trying to play it brave because her chin trembled, and her eyes filled with more tears, but she was acting like it was nothing. “Nope. I’m all okay now. I bet I can even fly. Watch this!”

  She hopped up before Violet could stop her and flapped her arms. Second she did, she crumbled back to the ground.

  Knocked down by an intense bolt of pain.

  “I lied. I told a lie! It hurts real bad,” she cried.

  “I…I think I need to take her to the emergency room,” Violet rambled. “I’m sorry, I think we’re going to have to cut this meeting short.”

  Her entire being was shaking.

  Shock and worry of what might have been rippling across her flesh.

  Patent.

  Palpable.

  So real it was marching toward me like tiny soldiers on the invade.

  An attack I couldn’t stop or fight.

  Standing, she picked Daisy up. Awkwardly, considering the child was almost half her size.

  I was on my feet before I could talk any sense into myself. Before I thought over the consequences. Before I knew what this would mean.

  “Let me take her.”

  Pain lashed through her expression. She held the child closer, trying to hoist her up. “I thank you for what you just did. But that’s not necessary. She’s fine. I’ve got her.”

  “Just let me help you, Violet. Your truck is all the way up by the house. You can’t safely carry her that far.” I leaned in, my mouth at her ear. “Let me help you.”

  Grieved disbelief gusted from her, that sweet, sweet mouth trembling all over the place. “You think I need you now? Six years late?”

  “No, Violet. You’ve always been better off without me. Think we both know that.”

  “Then leave us alone.” It was a plea. Girl as weak as me.

  “I can’t. Won’t.” My voice turned to stone.

  Torment blistered between us, and there was no missing the tension that radiated from my mom and Emily. The vile choices I’d made. Their disappointment I’d carried around on my shoulders every bit as heavy as the burden of my debt.

  Violet tried to drop her gaze, but it kept flicking up to meet my stare.

  “Be careful with her.” Violet’s voice twisted around me. An agonized prayer. Trusting me when she knew full well she shouldn’t.

  I gathered the child in my arms.

  Carefully.

  Cradling her to my chest, her legs were draped over one of my arms, the other secured around her back and shoulders.

  My heart panged. Fucking bled. “I’ve got you, flower girl,” I murmured like a goddamn fool.

  She grinned up at me. Cheeks covered in dirt and those dark eyes full of hope. “I want to be a flower girl, but the welcomes girl sounds second best, right?”

  “No. Not second best. Not even close,” I murmured at her forehead. Breathing her in.

  Fuck.

  I was getting too close. Touching on things I couldn’t. But I couldn’t find the willpower to walk.

  They needed me, and this was the little I could give. I just wished I could offer everything.

  Violet’s storm raged around me as I began to carry the child back up the trail to the main house, the woman flustered and perturbed and agitated, flitting around behind me like a little bird.

  Caught somewhere in the crux of wanting the best thing for Daisy and wanting to rip her out of my arms.

  Save her from the pain that I would bring.

  My attention darted to a man who was probably a year or two older than me coming over the hill, rushing faster when he felt the turmoil that bound us.

  “Violet…what happened? Is Daisy hurt?”

  Could feel his eyes on Violet. Like he wanted to go to her. Wrap her up.

  I attempted to shun the jolt of jealousy.

  The possession that lifted and burned in my veins.

  I tightened my arms around Daisy like some kind of selfish prick who had a right to make a claim on these girls.

  “Yes…no…she’s fine…she’s gonna be,” Violet stammered.

  “I flew out of the tree, Saul…just like a bird. I wasn’t even scared,” Daisy shouted as she tried to poke her head up to see him.

  I cringed.

  She needed to be scared.

  God knew, I was fucking terrified.

  “Climbing that tree was not a good choice, Daisy,” Violet chastised, worry bleeding out, the woman overwhelmed with this kid I was fast realizing was a handful. “You know that’s against the rules. I’ve told you before that you were gonna get hurt.”

  “But just a little hurt, right?” She peeked up at me when she asked it, like she trusted me to have her back.

  God, this kid.

  “Can I be of help?” Saul offered. He came toward me like he actually thought I was going to hand her over.

  Not happening.

  “I, uh—” Violet started to answer.

  “No,” I shot at him with a scathing look, a warning in the single word.

  Fucking no.

  Back the fuck away.

  Animosity poured from him. Undeniable.

  My stomach curled in resentment. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  I wanted to lay the fucker out.

  I couldn’t stop it. The fierce swell of envy that rose from the darkest depths. Where vengeance lived and hatred grew.

  Where I was a prisoner to what I had missed.

  To what I had lost.

  “I think we’re fine, Saul, thank you,” Violet answered.

  Could tell he didn’t want to give up when he continued along a few feet behind us. He finally fumbled to a stop where he stood between two rows of roses while we continued to cut a path back toward the house.

  My family trailed us.

  Royce on edge, Emily fretting. Was pretty sure the only thing my mom wanted to do was smack me upside the head.

  Couldn’t blame her.

  I could hear Melanie whispering to Maggie far in the distance.

  No doubt, she was dishing the dirty details to Maggie since Royce’s little sister didn’t have the first clue about them.

  But it didn’t matter.

  None of it did.

  Nothing but the little girl who I carried in my arms. I didn’t stop as I stormed up the last hill to where Violet’s truck was parked in front of her house. I went directly to the back, opened the door, and carefully situated Daisy into her car seat, being careful of her injured arm.

  “Is that good?” I asked, warily, glancing at her cherub face and trying not to get my heart smashed all over again as I buckled her in.

  She grinned.

  Fat chance.

  I was toast.

  A motherfuckin’ goner.

  “You did it right! Do you got a little girl to take care of? You are really very smart. My papa can never get these darned contraptions locked up right.” She rolled her eyes that still had tears, clearly parroting her grandfather’s sentiment.

  I would have laughed if what she’d said didn’t feel like razors dragging through my flesh.

  Four inches deep.

  Flaying me open wide.

  “No, Daisy, I don’t.” It sounded like an apology.

  Before I lost it, I shut the door and climbed into the driver’s seat. Violet was right behind me, her voice lowered to a stunned hiss. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “Driving you and Daisy to the hospital.”

  “Oh, no, you’re not.”

  “Just get in the truck, Violet. You are in no shape to drive and you don’t need to be taking her yourself. You’re upset.”

&
nbsp; “Yeah, well I can think of a hundred other people I would prefer to be doing the honors,” she hissed under her breath.

  I could tell Emily was getting ready to offer with the way she surged forward. I pitched her a warning glare.

  My sister stopped in her tracks, confusion knitting her brow considering just a few days ago I’d been spitting teeth that she’d had the audacity to ask Violet to be in her wedding.

  My actions nothing but contradictions.

  “Get in, Violet.”

  “Get in, Mommy,” Daisy shouted from the back seat. “I need to get my arm all fixed up so I can be good for dancin’. Don’t go ruinin’ this weddin’ for me.”

  Violet scowled at me, and not an adorable, cute way. She looked like maybe she would stab me right then if she could get away with it. Or maybe she’d be willing to give it a shot, anyway.

  “I’m not letting you do this to me, Richard,” she grated under her breath, the anger shifting to desperation.

  “What’s that?”

  “Toy with my heart.”

  “I never wanted to.” My voice was as low as hers.

  She stared at me, and I was trapped. Lost in the haze of those enchanting eyes as she took me in like she was trying to see through the garbage that had littered our lives.

  Find the man she’d thought I’d been.

  My lungs squeezed, and I kneaded at the steering wheel and forced myself not to say anything else. Not to tell her I missed her. That I still couldn’t fucking sleep at night, and when I did, she was there.

  A hostage I only knew in my dreams.

  I was already doing so much damage just being there, and there wasn’t a chance in hell that I could stay.

  Finally, she gave a tight nod. “I need to get my purse and tell my daddy what happened. I’ll be right back.”

  “Fine.” The word was grit.

  Maybe I was hoping she would refuse. Or maybe that Royce would come and drag my pathetic ass out of this truck and knock some sense into me.

  But everyone was held.

  Watching this shitshow go down.

  Me as the star.

  Violet fumbled around the truck, glancing back once as she took the steps onto the porch and then disappeared into the house.

  I watched her go.

  Unable to look away.

  My heart raged. A caged beast screaming for its match.

  “What do you think you’re doin’, Rich?” Emily’s voice hit me from the side. A torrent of worry gushed out with her words.