Falling into You

by Jackson, A. L.

  Despair rushed out with the words, and she choked over a sob.

  Deep gashes of pain that pierced her.

  “It makes me sick to be this person, but I don’t know how to stop this feelin’. This feeling that makes me want to wrap that little girl up and run away. Hide her away forever.”

  Hitched, pleading cries ripped up her throat.

  This girl breaking apart.

  No walls left to hide behind.

  Revealing it all.

  I wrapped her tighter, wishing I could do the same, and I pulled her to straddle me where I was sitting up on her bed. I kept brushing back her hair that was matted and tangled, the fine wisps sticking to her cheeks.

  “You aren’t a horrible person, Violet. Not even close, baby. You are everything. Everything. You are a good mother who is just trying to protect her child. What you’re feeling is instinct. There’s not a thing wrong with that.”

  “What if she takes her, Richard? What if the investigator finds her and Lily comes back and she takes her away? What do I do then? How will I survive?”

  Her heartbreak cracked through the room.

  A violent explosion that banged against the walls.

  She hiccupped and struggled to get closer. “How could I ever let her go?”

  Problem was, I couldn’t give her an answer.

  Couldn’t promise it wouldn’t happen.

  “No matter what happens, I’m here. With you. You aren’t alone. You aren’t alone,” I murmured, desperate for a way to make it better. To take away her pain.

  But that was the problem.

  I was helpless.

  Fuckin’ helpless.

  Especially considering I was the one responsible for it in the first place.

  Thirty-One

  Richard

  Six Years Ago

  The sedan came to a stop in the huge circular drive that was surrounded by a rambling, manicured lawn. Flowered hedges outlined the sidewalks and a waterfall shot toward the haze of city sky before it spilled back down to splash into the reservoir. The entire property was surrounded by an imposing brick wall, trees growing even higher above the towering walls to provide privacy where the residence sat in the middle of the bustling city.

  A man dressed in uniform opened the back door, and Shawn and Richard slipped out to the muted thrum of music echoing through the thick walls of the grand estate.

  The man dipped his head in a curt nod. “Enjoy, gentlemen.”

  Shawn howled and clapped him on the back. “Oh, I’m sure that we will.”

  Martin Jennings climbed out of the front seat and adjusted his suit jacket before he waved an indulgent hand toward the entrance of the extravagant home. “You are our guests of honor tonight. Anything behind those doors is yours. Feel free to indulge. Our parties are invite only, so you can be sure of full discretion by all attendees.”

  Disquiet rumbled in the periphery. Somewhere at the edges of Richard’s brain. He hadn’t ever been to a party where a disclaimer was a necessity.

  But he was too excited to acknowledge it. This feeling coming over him as they climbed the ten massive steps that led to the double-doors that had to be twenty-feet high.

  This was it.

  They were being invited into this world.

  The Mylton Records world.

  Everything they’d been striving for was right there, within their reach.

  Their music was good. Really good. But it was going to take a label like Mylton Records backing them to shoot them into the stratosphere.

  One side of the double doors opened to the sprawling home, nothing but sky-high ceilings and modern furniture and wealth seeping from the walls. Music blared from the speakers that pulsed a frenetic beat through the entire house.

  Place packed.

  Wall-to-wall.

  Bodies crushed in the space like it was some kind of trendy nightclub rather than a mansion in Beverly Hills which was a mindfuck in itself.

  Lights strobed and music blared, and his heart rate ratcheted, trying to take it all in.

  Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll.

  Sure, he’d seen his fair share of shit out on the road, but he didn’t think he’d ever seen the unmitigated evidence of it quite like then.

  Girls half dressed. Sitting on laps. Dancing on tables.

  Dudes totally buck and running through the house.

  Some in collars. Grinning. Dancing.

  Nothing but a freak show.

  A tumbler full of glittering amber was shoved into his hand.

  Martin Jennings lifted his above his head. “To Carolina George rising to their full, unobstructed potential.”

  “Fuck yeah, I will drink to that!” Shawn shouted, and they clinked glasses before they were clinking theirs with his, and Richard was tossing back the alcohol in a bid to settle his nerves that rattled and shook.

  A disorder that blew.

  The liquid burned a fiery path down his throat and pooled in his stomach. He was quickly given another, and he felt those nerves unfurl into a shaky confidence as he tossed the next one back and followed Martin through the throng. He led them into another room that was just as packed as the last.

  Lights cut into a low, dizzying haze, a daze of strobing white and blue lights that thudded over the room. Semi-private sitting areas made up of plush couches were tucked along the edges of the walls and a full bar sat at the far end of the room.

  There was a raging dance floor in the middle.

  Martin gestured for them to follow, and he led them to one of the alcoves at the very back. Richard sank down into the comfort of a couch, watching the mayhem that hammered and thrashed.

  A woman appeared in front of them carrying a tray, dressed in a thong and these little shiny dots covering her nipples. She dropped off a bottle and three shot glasses before she disappeared back into the crush.

  Shawn laughed this seedy laugh, cut him a look, and said, “Holy fuck. Told you, man. We’re about to be kings.”

  Martin poured three shots. “To tonight.”

  Richard tossed it back.

  Welcomed the burn and the fire.

  The night moved on, and that haze grew, his mind slipping and sliding and shifting the more drinks that he sucked down. The woman returned with another bottle, though this time she also set a little tray with a small pile of white powder onto the coffee table.

  Martin sat forward and cut it.

  “Tomorrow we make you superstars. Tomorrow you sign and you become part of the Mylton Records family. But tonight…tonight we celebrate. Tonight, you get to see who you’re going to be.” Martin sent Richard a glance. Something that almost looked like a warning.

  And fuck.

  Richard had the urge to get the fuck up and run out the door, all the way back to Dalton. But this—this was what they’d fought for. Years spent on the road. Half starved. Penniless.

  It was one night.

  One goddamn night.

  What could it hurt to indulge?

  Shawn didn’t hesitate to do a line when the tray was passed his way.

  Richard did. He felt this shiver of dread that curled down his spine like a slick of ice. And he was wondering just what the fame was gonna cost when he leaned forward and dragged the poison through his nose.

  The burn was different this time. A sharp sting that didn’t take all that long to shift into bliss.

  A flush of power.

  A rush of truth.

  Fact that this was where they’d been heading all along.

  Lyrics hummed through his mind and the beat of a bass drummed through his soul.

  He grinned and sat back on the couch.

  Tonight.

  Tonight.

  Shawn banged an agitated fist on his knee.

  “You know who we should call?”

  “Yeah?” he asked, lifting his chin.

  “Lily. She’s a ton of fun.”

  Richard guessed he was too far gone to catch what flashed in Martin Jennings’ eyes whe
n he said, “I agree.”

  Thirty-Two

  Violet

  I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt so exhausted and alive at the same time. My spirit soaring and my body aching.

  Not that I was going to complain about that considering it was wholly due to the number of times Richard and I had reached for each other last night.

  The man taking me again and again.

  Loving me soft.

  Fucking me hard.

  Our reconnection taking us through every emotion.

  The highs and the lows. The desperation and the savoring. The joy and the sorrow. The adoration and the lust. The laughter and the tears.

  I should have slept like a rock.

  Instead, I’d been unable to drift. Just wanting to cling to it. To the moment. To the truth. To the promises that we had made.

  Finally, at the breaking of dawn, I’d pried myself from his gorgeous, sleeping form, climbed from my bed, and crept downstairs. Needing to clear my head. To figure out what I would tell Daisy. What I was gonna tell my daddy.

  Truth was, I was still having a hard time wrapping my own head around it, so I sure as heck didn’t know how my daddy would handle it.

  Yesterday, there’d been camaraderie. A sense of coming together for a purpose.

  I just wasn’t quite sure what the reaction was going to be to the purpose that went down all through last night.

  Blowing out a heavy sigh, I poured myself a cup of coffee while I stood in the warmth of the first rays of daylight streaming in through the window, not even trying to hide the giddy grin plastered to my face even when there wasn’t a soul there to witness it.

  But I figured if there was, they’d see what was written all over me. The loved-up happiness that had me awash.

  Floatin’.

  Flyin’.

  That only amplified when I heard the shuffle of feet. The warmth of the rising sun didn’t have a thing on the warmth of the strong arms that wrapped around me from behind. Nothing on the way I felt when Richard pressed his cheek to mine, when he nuzzled my jaw, the man tilting my head so he could press a lingering kiss to the side of my neck.

  Chills raced and my heart expanded in the most magnificent way.

  “Good mornin’,” he rumbled, his voice this throaty, sleepy growl.

  Oh yeah.

  That got me going, too.

  Apparently, I really had gone without for too long.

  “Mornin’. What are you doing up so early?”

  “I was gonna ask the same thing about you. You don’t like sleeping next to me? Because believe me, baby, I’m done sleeping without lying next to you.”

  His mouth grazed the shell of my ear. “That a good enough answer?” he murmured.

  Need curled down my spine, and one of those happy sighs was exhaling some of the weight from my chest.

  Like I no longer had to bear the full burden on my own.

  “I couldn’t sleep because I was afraid if I closed my eyes, I might wake up and it’d be a dream,” I confessed.

  Those hands splayed wide across my belly, and he pulled my back to his front.

  Gluing us together.

  His mouth trailed up and down the side of my neck, eliciting a tiny moan, his grip just tugging me tighter. “No dreamin’ this, baby. Believe me…I’ve spent the last six years dreaming of you. Wishing for you. My mind didn’t stand a fuckin’ chance at competing with the real thing. Nothin’ better than you.”

  I whimpered, and then I froze when the kitchen door swung open. My attention whipped that way to find Daisy racing in, my daddy’s hand wrapped up in hers as she hauled him inside.

  Oh, crap.

  Her eyes went wide with excitement. “Mr. Richard. You’re here! You’re here! Did you stay for a sleeps over?”

  Clearly, my daddy wanted to know the answer to that, too. Or more importantly, where he’d slept.

  Richard chuckled, not even considering releasing me. He just turned us a little so we were facing out, those arms locked around me.

  A clear statement given.

  Mine.

  “Well, since you’re here, where else was I supposed to go?”

  “You love me?” She asked like she was floored by the idea, and her beaming smile filled the entire room.

  Her sweet innocence so genuine.

  So real.

  The child just seeing things for what they were.

  I guessed maybe it was the only thing that could unfasten those arms from me because Richard spread his hands over my stomach, dragged them to either of my hips, and left a kiss behind my ear before he stepped around me and knelt in front of her.

  He tucked an unruly dark lock behind her ear. So tenderly that I nearly succumbed right there.

  A goner.

  “Yeah, precious flower girl, I do. I love you.”

  “Just like you love my mommy?”

  He grinned, a light chuckle rippling free. “Different but the same.”

  Then she threw herself into his hold, and he picked her up and spun her around, and she lifted her arms in the air, that blundering cast waving all around. “Amor, amor, amor,” she sang.

  She grinned at me from over his shoulder. “Told you.”

  I choked out a laugh. “You did, didn’t you?”

  She turned her attention back to Richard. One-hundred-percent serious. “I am the smartest girl in the worlds. Just ask my papa.”

  She waved an over-eager hand his way.

  Daddy smiled.

  His love abounding, though there was no missing the remnants of uncertainty still lingering in his eyes. “Yes, you are, mi amor. The smartest girl in all the worlds.”

  “Well, then, I guess you must be,” Richard said, all too keen to agree to the logic.

  I didn’t have the heart to make this a deeper life lesson. That all children were smart in their own special way.

  I figured all of this was life-lesson enough.

  The truth that sometimes…sometimes when your heart refused to give up, it ended up exactly where it was supposed to be.

  * * *

  “Still not sure this is a good idea.” Richard had his hands shoved in his jeans’ pockets. Man standing at the side of the long SUV that had shown fifteen minutes before, the whole crew piling out.

  Richard’s concern was that half of them needed to leave.

  “Um…hello. We’ve got her.” Melanie took a step in front of me. With the way she puffed out her chest and widened her stance, she might as well have been wearing camo like some kind of commando.

  Richard shot her a glare. “Really?”

  Emily giggled and took a step toward her brother. “It’s fine, Richard. We’re all here. None of us will let Violet out of our sight.”

  She gestured at Maggie and Mel who were flanking me.

  Royce’s brow lifted, the man leaned back against the front grill of the SUV. He sent Richard a glance before letting his attention drift toward the four of us. “Not so sure. What’s Mag-Pie here gonna do? Kill ’em with kindness?”

  He sent an overbearing look to his adorable little sister. She returned him an offended pout.

  Rhys cracked up. “Oh, I bet that little thing can kick some butt. Besides, Mel’s here. Biggest ballbuster there is. Not a man alive who’d get in the way of that.”

  “Damn straight, cowboy. Lord save us, turns out the man knows a thing or two after all.”

  Richard huffed. Not close to being amused.

  I stepped toward him and set a placating hand on his forearm. “It’s okay. I’m gonna be fine. All four of us are gonna be together the entire day, and my daddy has Saul and two of our other guys watching the land.”

  I swore fire puffed from the man’s nostrils.

  A bull about to charge as his gaze prowled across the rolling fields. “Saul? Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

  Jealous.

  No question.

  I almost laughed.

  Saul was harmless.

  I squeezed his a
rm tighter. “The weddin’ is in less than two weeks. Y’all have to pick up your suits and run the rest of the errands.” I pointed at the bridesmaids. “We’re going to be busy the entire day getting things ready. I mean, unless you want to stand around playing with ribbon and tulle all day?”

  Rhys dropped to his knees and clamped his hands together in a prayer, crying out in mock horror. “Oh god. Don’t make me. I’d rather be hog tied.”

  “You need to be hog tied,” Mel tossed out.

  “Ah…know you want me tied up, darlin’. All’s you gotta do is ask.”

  Mel gagged. “Gross.”

  Royce jerked him up by the arm. “On your feet, asshole. Don’t make me kick your ridiculousness out of my wedding.” I was thinking it was only half a tease.

  “The audacity,” Rhys cracked, dusting off his boots, laughing as he rubbed at his beard that was growing thicker by the day.

  “Yeah, we know who’s the ass,” Royce grumbled.

  Rhys clapped him on the back. “You know you love me. I mean, shit, I’m lettin’ you get hitched to my Emily. You should be on your knees thanking me.”

  Lincoln shoved him. “Dude. Step down from that overinflated pedestal. That’s my sister you’re talkin’ about.”

  “Hey. Em’s my girl.”

  God. The guy was a handful. I’d almost forgotten how crazy he was.

  I gave a little nudge to my man.

  My man.

  Oh, did that ever feel good.

  “Go on. This is important to your sister. To your future brother. I promise I’ll be careful.”

  I mean, it wasn’t like I would dare go traipsing this land alone. I wasn’t about to be that reckless. But I felt sure in this—that everyone was watchin’ over me.

  That we would be just fine.

  Richard grumbled.

  Royce scanned the fields, checking the three farmhands who’d gathered in the periphery. He shifted to look at Richard, lifted his chin. “They should be covered, man. Not like I’m cool being away from my girl, either. We’ll be quick. In and out, and we’ll get back.”

  Richard wavered, not quite agreeing before he stepped toward me and grabbed me by both sides of the face.