Me: Thank you. But stop thinking about work and worry about planning your wedding.
Becca: haha yes, sir
“Is that some dude you’re banging?” Ryan asked.
I looked up at him. “What? Of course not. It’s Becca.”
“Ah, your paralegal.” Ryan rolled his eyes and slid off the barstool. “Mom never liked such a hot young girl working for you.”
“Yeah, well, your mom didn’t like a lot of things.” I placed my phone back on the counter.
“Guess it wasn’t girls she had to be worried about, though, right?” Ryan said. “I still can’t believe my dad is fuckin’ gay.”
The breath left my lungs, and a whirlwind of sadness and anger swirled in my chest. “Don’t talk to me that way. I’m still your father, no matter how mad you are.”
“Whatever.” Ryan stormed down the hall, went into his room, and came out a few minutes later with his bag. He snatched his keys off the table where Cason had placed them last night and left the house, slamming the door on his way out.
I braced my arms on the island and hung my head, my eyes watering. I couldn’t make Ryan accept me being gay. I had hoped he’d come around as time passed, but he still held on to anger and bitterness.
I kept wondering if his reaction would’ve been better if I had actually gotten the chance to sit him down and tell him myself, instead of him walking in and finding out by accident. Thinking about it wouldn’t change anything, though. I’d never get the chance to find out.
I just wanted my son to look at me with pride in his eyes again.
***
Monday morning, I woke early and showered before driving to the courthouse.
My client had been picked up for possession, and I’d gone back and forth with the prosecutor to get her a decent deal since it was her first offense. Medical marijuana was legal in our state, but recreational use was still against the law. Fortunately, we were able to reach an agreement of fifteen days in jail and for her to pay a fine. The hearing today should be brief.
“Morning, Cross,” Jay Foley greeted me outside the courtroom. He was the prosecuting attorney assigned to the case. We’d always gotten along well in the past, despite us serving on opposite sides.
We’d gotten along too well.
“Foley.” I shook his hand and nodded to the door. “Shall we?”
“After you,” he answered, winking.
Tall, blond, and fucking gorgeous—he could be a major distraction in the courtroom if I wasn’t careful. Especially when I looked at his hands and remembered them roaming my body, when I saw his lips and recalled them wrapped around my cock.
My blood pressure spiked, and I took calming breaths as I joined my client at the table and greeted her. She was only twenty-two and had her whole life ahead of her. I hoped she straightened up after this, but all I could do was get her the best deal and hope she made the right decision once she served her time.
As expected, the hearing didn’t last long since both parties were in agreement. Case was dismissed, and the judge went to his chambers.
“We should meet for a drink sometime,” Jay said after we left the courtroom and were standing outside.
Why did he have to look so good in a suit? It fit him like a glove, accentuating his broad shoulders and lean torso. I knew it wasn’t all show either. His body looked even better with nothing on it but mine.
“Probably not the best idea,” I responded, having to squint because of the blinding sun. “Drinks always lead to more.” I glanced at his lips. “Much more.”
“Would that be so bad?” he asked, practically purring.
The man exuded sex appeal. It wasn’t too long ago when I’d fallen victim to his charms. Over and over again. Yet, I was no victim. I had seen the opportunity and taken it gladly.
“It’s not good to mix work and personal relationships.”
“You didn’t care about that before,” he answered with a lopsided grin.
For some reason, I thought of Cason. He was young. Innocent. I felt wrong for wanting him, not only because of the nineteen-year age gap but because he was Ryan’s friend. I was beyond fucked-up.
And so, I caved to the one thing I could allow myself.
“I’ll be at your house at ten tonight,” I said to Jay.
He smiled. “Can’t wait.”
I left the courthouse and went to my office. When I walked through the door, the receptionist waved to get my attention and held the phone between her cheek and shoulder as she scribbled a note on the pad beside her and held it up to the glass.
Jerry Jenkins is in your office for his apt.
I nodded my thanks to her and continued that way. Mr. Jenkins was a seventy-year-old man who had hired me to represent him in his divorce.
“Married for fifty years and I can’t stand the old bag any longer,” he had said when I’d first met him.
“Afternoon, Mr. Jenkins,” I greeted him as I entered my office.
He instantly started telling me about his soon-to-be ex-wife and how crazy he thought she was. I listened and jotted down notes. They were in disagreement over who would get the house, the land, and the cattle.
After he left, I grabbed a cup of coffee from the break room and returned to my desk to look over the files for the ongoing murder trial. My client, Jeff Ritter, had been charged with the murder of his wife. The case had blown up in the media.
Evette Parks had been found in an alleged suicide, but after the detectives assigned to the case did some digging, they’d believed it to be foul play. All pointing to her husband. Jeff had hired me on the spot, saying I was the best defense attorney around.
Whether he’d been guilty or innocent, I hadn’t known for sure, but it wasn’t my job to prove he was innocent. It was my job to defend him to the best of my ability. The prosecution held the burden to prove guilt.
Defending criminals had been one of the things Amber had constantly argued with me over. Among other things. If not my work, she’d accused me of cheating or something else ridiculous. She’d said I didn’t pay enough attention to her. She’d complained about our sex life. She disagreed with my political views, as I was liberal and she was super conservative. It all eventually led to her wanting a divorce.
Jay had been my anchor during that time in my life, whether he realized it or not. It had all started the morning Amber told me she wanted a divorce. I’d been at the courthouse for a custody hearing, and Jay had approached.
“Jay Foley,” he said, holding out his hand. “I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced.”
“Emery Cross,” I answered, taking his hand. He was the current hot topic in the legal department. All the single women wanted him and even some of the men. “You’re the new prosecutor, correct?”
“Yeah, that’s me.” Jay regarded me curiously, letting his hand linger in mine a moment too long. His green eyes lingered on me too.
I felt like he was staring directly into me. It was unsettling… but also made my heart beat faster.
What did he see? The slight quickening of my breath, the hard swallow in my throat? I wondered if he saw what I had kept hidden for so many years—things I had often fantasized about but never once acted on.
“Being the new guy is hard,” Jay said, finally dropping his hand from mine. “Spare me the misery and let me buy you a drink tonight? I could use a friend.”
I should have gone home to talk to my wife. But I knew her decision for a divorce had been made. There was no changing her mind. And after a rough day in court, the last thing I wanted was to go home and argue with her, especially in front of our son.
“Well, if you’re buying…” I grabbed my briefcase and motioned to the exit with my head. “After you.”
That’s how it’d started. The sneaking around. The secrets. And then the huge blowup.
For two years, Jay and I’d hooked up, hot and heavy, fucking like rabbits anywhere we could: my office, his office, a hotel room, his house. The secrecy added
to the excitement for me, but more than anything, Jay made me feel alive.
The part of myself I had denied for so many years had finally been free to explore. And once I had that freedom, I didn’t want to give it up. The thought of telling my son I was gay had terrified me, but with one foot out of the closet, I’d refused to go back inside and shut the door.
However, my plan to take it slow was ruined when Ryan walked in on me and Jay making out in my office one Saturday last December. My firm was closed on the weekends, but Ryan knew I’d gone to the office to prep for a big case because he’d been staying at my place at the time.
Jay had been leaning back on my desk, his tie loose and his shirt unbuttoned, and I’d been on the verge of taking off his pants when Ryan walked in on us.
Since that day, Ryan had pretty much hated the very sight of me.
“Focus.” I studied the file more intently and sipped my coffee, which had gone cold.
It’s going to be a long day.
Chapter 3
Cason
“How can I help you?” I asked.
“I was wondering what machine you’d recommend for someone just starting out,” the woman said. “I want something I can use at home that’s not a treadmill or an elliptical.”
“Hm.” I chewed the corner of my lip as I walked over to the section with the workout equipment. “The ProForm bike might be a good bet. It has several preset workout apps, different levels of resistance training, and an adjustable seat. It’s also on sale right now. So, you take sixty bucks off the original price.”
“Thank you,” she said. “I’ll browse a little. I appreciate the help.”
“If you need anything else, just let me know. My name is Cason.”
Some of the sales associates liked to hover around customers, but I hated that shit. More times than not, it just irritated the customer and they left without buying anything. I smiled and walked away to give her some space.
I’d started working at Academy last summer when I turned eighteen. Before that, I had worked at McDonald’s for almost two years. Getting a job at sixteen had helped me save up for a used car, pay for insurance and gas, and start a savings account. I’d worked like crazy during school, juggling my job with schoolwork, football practices and games, and then baseball after that. I was a firm believer in working hard to get ahead in life. Now that graduation was over, I’d be able to work full-time until I went to college in the fall.
All to make a better life for myself.
I glanced at the clock, seeing it was nearly time for me to clock out. I’d had to be at work at ten that morning, otherwise I would’ve stayed with Ryan longer.
Emery had been so kind to me earlier. He’d made me feel welcome in his house, and he’d cooked me breakfast. My own mom hadn’t ever even cooked me breakfast. One of my first memories was when I was like four and I had poured my own cereal and put my bowl in the sink after.
Yeah, I didn’t see why Ryan gave him so much attitude. Unless Emery put on a good show in front of people, he seemed like a genuinely nice guy.
After my shift, I saw several texts from Ryan.
Ryan: U wrking 2day?
Then an hour later.
Ryan: Txt me when u get off.
Ryan: I wanna go out 2nite.
Instead of texting, I called him.
“Yo,” he answered on the second ring.
“Where do you want to go?” I asked, getting into my car.
“I don’t know. But it’s Saturday night, and I don’t wanna be at home. Trev said he still has a shitload of booze at his place, so we can go over there, drink, and stay the night.”
Drinking the night away didn’t sound appealing to me.
“I think I’m gonna pass.” I buckled my seat belt and backed out of the parking spot.
“Don’t be such a damn killjoy,” Ryan whined.
“I just worked all day. I’m tired.” Not the complete truth. I had worked most of the day, but I hated drinking and didn’t like being around a bunch of guys all the time who were shitfaced.
“Look, I need to blow off some steam,” Ryan said, his tone more serious. “I got into it with my dad this morning, and I just wanna get fucked-up.”
“What happened?”
“Same shit,” he answered, scoffing. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Maybe you should give him a break,” I said, before I could stop myself. I’d wanted to say it to Ryan for a while. “You say your dad is such an asshole, but all I see is a guy who cares about you.”
“Cares about me?” Ryan’s voice grew louder. “Your dad doesn’t give a damn about you, and your mom is a druggie. You don’t know what a healthy relationship even looks like.”
My chest tightened.
“Shit.” Ryan exhaled into the phone. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
I disconnected the call and tossed my phone in the passenger’s seat. What hurt most was Ryan was right. My dad didn’t care about me. He’d taken off on me and my mom when I was only nine, and I’d barely heard from him since.
Fuck Ryan for his lack of a filter.
Texts came through, one after another, and I ignored them all. When I got home, I went straight to my room and flung myself on the bed. Mom laughed from the living room, too pilled up to have noticed me walk through the door.
Tears burned behind my closed eyes, but I was too fucking angry to let them fall.
“Hey, I think that little bastard is home,” a deep voice said from the other side of my locked door. Then there was a hard knock. “Open up.”
I didn’t budge.
“Your mom needs money for groceries,” Steve said, banging his fist on the door again before trying the knob.
Groceries. Yeah, sure. She spent all her money on pills, cigarettes for the both of them, and alcohol. I knew exactly where my money would go if I gave her any.
Knowing the situation would only get worse if I continued to ignore the prick, I slid off the bed and opened the door. The scent of stale smoke and beer wafted from Steve and only got worse as he leaned closer to me. He was taller than me but was a scrawny motherfucker. Greasy hair, an out of control beard, and a balding head… the dude was a real catch.
Not.
“Move,” I said.
“Did ya not hear what I said, boy?” Steve put his arm on the doorframe, blocking me. “Money. Now.”
I knocked his arm aside and backed him up against the wall, so close to snapping. His eyes went wide as saucers. With one punch I could put him in his place. But I refused to stoop that low. I refused to turn into my dad.
So, I stepped away from him.
“Yeah, that’s right,” he said, playing tough now that I was backing off. He adjusted his shirt from where I’d grabbed him and smirked, showing off his yellow teeth. “Just a pussy boy.”
Names didn’t bother me. I’d heard every foul name in the book and then some. Without another word, I walked down the hall and went out the door. I didn’t know where I was going.
I just knew I had to get out of there.
***
Hours later, I sat on a bench overlooking the river.
The moon reflected off the water, and the wind ruffled the leaves on the trees around me. I had come to that park so many times in the past.
When I was younger, I had run away from home countless times just to get away from my mom’s loser boyfriend—whichever one she was seeing at the time. And there’d been many. No matter how different they all appeared, they were the same: vile, abusive, and controlling.
I had sat on the same bench I was on now and cried for someone to help me. For someone to take me away from this place. No one ever did. That’s when I realized I couldn’t count on anyone to save me; I had to rescue myself.
My phone kept buzzing. Texts and missed calls. I then put it on silent so I wouldn’t have to hear it. I knew I was overreacting a little, but I was too annoyed to talk to Ryan. He’d pushed me too far.
“Hey.”
>
I flipped around, prepared to knock someone out if I needed to. Sitting alone in a park at night and having an unexpected visitor was the setup for a suspense novel. But then I saw who was behind me.
“Ryan? Jesus Christ. Warn a guy next time.”
“Not much good it would’ve done. You weren’t answering my texts.” He sat beside me on the bench. “I thought you’d be here.”
He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and looked at the river. No apology was needed; his remorse was written all over his face. He did so anyway.
“Look. I’m sorry for what I said.” Ryan met my gaze, his blue eyes sincere. “Things with my dad are just… complicated. It’s hard for me to talk about.”
Ryan used to look up to his dad. He’d brag about the cases Emery worked and say that even though Amber thought Emery was in the wrong for defending lowlifes—her words—he actually thought it was cool that Emery was fighting for justice.
Then, something changed last winter.
When I saw Ryan after Christmas break, he’d been moodier than usual and snapped at Trevor when Trev asked if he’d gotten his period. A total sexist joke to begin with, one I hadn’t found that funny, but Ryan had completely lost his shit and almost started a fistfight in the locker room.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Ryan said, looking up at the trees. “You’re the one stable thing in my life right now, and I don’t wanna fuck it up.”
“You won’t fuck it up,” I responded, bumping his shoulder. “Think you can chase me away so easy? I know you, Ry. With us graduating, I think you’re just freaking out a little. You don’t handle change well.”
Ryan was the guy who got irritated at fast-food places when they changed their menus for crying out loud. Graduating and then preparing for college probably just had his mind scattered.
“You sure you don’t wanna be a shrink?” Ryan asked with a light laugh. “You’d make a killing.”
“Nah, I’d be a horrible shrink,” I said, enjoying the light-hearted moment. Much better than all the tense ones earlier, both with him over the phone and then with Steve. “If you want me to be your personal therapist, you’ll have to pay me the big bucks.”
His Temptation Page 3
