Damsel: I’m sorry if I hurt you. Fuck. Are you okay????
I smiled at his concern. He had a big heart as well as a big dick.
Me: Better than okay. Don’t worry. Give me a day to rest and then I’ll be good to go.
Damsel: Awesome. Maybe we can switch things up next time to give you an even bigger break ;)
That definitely got my attention. I couldn’t wait to top Cason. I’d wanted to ease him into it, though, and let him decide when to take that next step.
Me: If that’s what you want :)
Damsel: The world is ending. You just used an emoji.
Me: lol I gotta get to work. Talk to you later.
Damsel: Later, stud
I laughed and set aside my phone.
My attraction to Cason wasn’t only physical or sexual. He made me genuinely smile. Before getting involved with him, I had been so angry. Angry at life and miserable. I had felt so alone. Jay had helped with it some, but Cason was… special. Different. It was like he carried a warmth inside him, and when he was around me, I didn’t feel as cold.
Fling or not, I enjoyed his company.
That’s the only reason I needed to keep going down this road.
Chapter 13
Cason
“Look, man,” Ryan said as we sat at Hooters that Friday night waiting on our food. “I thought a lot about what you said, and you’re right. It’s not fair for me to treat Lexi like that. I’m sorry for getting pissed at you about it when you tried to knock some sense into me.”
“Oh.” My stomach growled as a platter of food passed, going to another table. Ryan had picked me up that evening, and we’d gone to Hooters for dinner—I loved their wings, and he liked to check out the waitresses in their little shorts. “That was over a week ago. I’d already forgotten about it.”
“Well, I haven’t,” he said, smoothing a hand over the top of his black hair. God, he got that from Emery. “It’s been on my mind a lot. You’re like my goddamn conscience. My Jiminy Cricket.”
“I’m your conscience?”
“Yeah.” He smiled. “You have a way of making me see things the way they should be. Like, if the tables were reversed and Lexi was stringing me along, talking to a bunch of other guys, I would’ve been hurt too.”
“Did you break up with her?” I asked, my mouth watering as I saw the waitress carrying my wings to our table.
“Here you go, boys,” Brittany, the waitress, said as she gave us the food. “Anything else I can get for you?”
“No, thanks,” I said.
“You have the hots for the Hooters girl?” Ryan asked after she walked away, mistaking my politeness for flirting.
“No, I don’t.” I had to force myself not to roll my eyes. “Now back to the question. Did you break up with Lexi?”
Ryan stole a wing off my plate. “Nope. But I stopped talking to the other girls.”
“Really?” I let one slide, but if he stole a second, I’d have to fight him to the death. “You must like her, then. More than just sex.”
“Maybe.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s fun to be around, and she’s hot. I’m not ready to end things. If I have to stop talking to those girls to keep her happy for now, it’s not that bad.”
“Well, I’m proud of you,” I said, before biting into a delicious wing. My taste buds were doing victory laps on my tongue.
“Proud of me for being a decent person?” he asked, snorting. “You crack me up, Cas. It’s okay. You can call me an asshole. I deserve it.”
I shook my head. “You saw your mistake and corrected it. Total non-asshole behavior. Gold star.”
Ryan laughed. “Thanks. I’m really glad we became friends. Just sucks that it took us so long to finally start talking.”
We’d gone to the same school since middle school, but we’d never talked. Ryan had been in the popular crowd while I had kind of breezed by unnoticed. Then, we’d had a math class together sophomore year, and Ryan had been struggling to pass. Before the big test at the end of the year, I had offered to help him study. A friendship had built from there. He had convinced me to try out for baseball and football that summer, and starting junior year, I was into sports and finding myself with more friends than I knew what to do with.
“We’re friends now. That’s what matters.” I held up a wing for a toast. “Huzzah.”
Ryan grabbed a fry and touched the piece of chicken, echoing, “Huzzah.”
We were such idiots, but it was why we got along so well. Ryan was like a brother to me. Keeping a secret from him was torture. I looked at him and remembered fucking his dad just that morning. He’d hate me if he knew the truth.
I’m a horrible friend.
The guilt was going to eat me alive.
“Hey, you cool?” Ryan asked, dipping his fry in ketchup before eating it.
“Yeah.” I forced a smile. “Just a long day at work.”
Which wasn’t exactly a lie. We’d been crazy busy that day with the huge blowout summer sale. Everyone and their brother had come in looking for discounted stuff.
“My day was interesting too,” he said, dropping his gaze. He seemed to do that when he was about to spill something deep. “I had lunch with my dad.”
If I hadn’t just shoved a wing into my mouth, I would’ve dropped the damn thing. I had not been expecting that.
“How did that go?” I asked, after chewing the bite and swallowing.
“Not bad, actually.” Ryan grabbed his Pepsi and took a long drink. To give him more time to think before saying more? “You know I’m not exactly on the best terms with him.”
“Mhm.” Damn, the nerves were intense in my stomach.
What had they talked about? My lungs started to burn, and I realized I’d been holding my breath waiting for him to continue.
“I’m still not on good terms with him,” Ryan added, picking up a fry and turning it between his fingers before picking it apart. “But… I don’t know. Again, you got me thinking about shit. I might have my issues with him, but he’s still my dad.”
Was he going to tell me what those issues were?
I already knew, but I wanted him to feel comfortable enough to tell me. He had found out about Emery while we were already friends. Instead of talking to me, he had kept it bottled inside and let it eat at him. Like a festering wound.
“I think your dad is pretty cool,” I said, grabbing another wing. “Whatever issue you have with him… I think it’s fixable. He loves you like crazy.”
Oh, shit. I shouldn’t know Emery well enough to say something like that.
Ryan remained oblivious.
“Yeah, I know.” He exhaled and shoved another fry into his mouth. “Just complicated as fuck.”
“You can talk to me, you know,” I said, somewhat hurt that he hadn’t already. But I had no room to talk. I was keeping a huge secret from him.
“I know, man. Just not ready to go there right now.”
“Cool.” I nodded. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m here for you.”
“Can I have another?” he asked, eyeing my precious food. “You said you’re here for me and everything.”
“Now you’re an asshole,” I said, grabbing a few wings and putting them on his plate. “Mr. I’m not hungry, I’ll just order fries and then you eat all my shit.”
Ryan barked out a laugh.
“Cason?”
I turned to see Faith. Out of all the places I could run into her, I would never have thought I’d see her in Hooters.
“Hey, Faith,” I said, and then I quickly wiped my mouth since there was probably barbeque sauce all over it. It sure as hell was all over my fingers. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
She smiled. “Came for the wings. Best place in town for them.”
“Wow,” Ryan said, looking between the two of us. “It’s you in girl form.”
Faith lightly laughed and tucked her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. She was sweet, and I got a good vibe from her.
/> “If we keep running into each other, I’ll have to consider a restraining order,” Faith said, still grinning. “Stalker.”
“Hey, I have an idea.” Ryan turned in his seat so he could face her. “Let’s all go to the pool hall after this. I can invite my girl too.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, knowing exactly what Ryan was doing. Setting up some stupid double date. Before I could turn down his idea, though, Faith chimed in.
“That’d be fun!” She seemed so excited.
Shit. I didn’t want to be a buzzkill and ruin the night. And I didn’t have a good reason to say no. Emery and I weren’t meeting up, so I couldn’t say I had other plans.
“Let’s do it,” I said, admitting defeat.
How bad could it be?
It might even be fun. Music, friends, and pool.
It didn’t have to be anything more than that.
***
“Here, baby,” Ryan said, standing behind Lexi and placing his hand over hers as she held the pool stick. “Let me show you how to do it. You wanna get down low.” He kissed the back of her neck and showed her how. “Line up your shot. Like this. Now gently tap the right side.”
Lexi pushed her ass back against Ryan and giggled when he gripped her hips tighter and whispered something in her ear. When she made her shot, she actually pocketed the ball. She squealed and bounced up and down before Ryan turned her around and kissed her, pushing her against the table.
“They’re cute, huh?” Faith asked, looking at them.
“I guess,” I answered with a shrug. I’d seen Ryan with too many girls to ever think one would last for long. Lexi was the first to hold his attention for that long, though. “Sorry you got dragged along for their make-out show. I hope you’re having some fun at least.”
“I am,” she answered, playing with the bracelet on her arm. It was silver and had little charms on it. Looked like anime characters. “I don’t get asked to go out much. So this is kinda cool.”
It seemed my first impression of her from Trev’s party hadn’t been too far off. She was a good girl who was also a bit socially awkward. Faith was artsy, into anime, and nice. If I had to be stuck on a fake double date with anyone, I was glad it was her.
“Are you having fun?” she asked, before nervously chewing her bottom lip. “I’m always afraid I bore people. No one’s ever into the same things as me.”
“Don’t worry about me.” I stood from the chair once seeing she’d drank all of her soda. “I need a refill. Want me to get you one too?”
“Sure! I can walk with you to get them.”
“Cool.” I grabbed our cups. “Come on. Looks like they won’t even know we’re gone.”
Ryan and Lexi were still making out against the pool table. Faith looked at them and shook her head, laughing.
“What’s your favorite anime?” I asked, as we walked through the arcade toward the concession stand. At her shocked look, I added, “Saw your bracelet. That one’s from Fairy Tail, right?”
“Oh my god, you speak my language. I knew you were awesome.” Faith fidgeted with her bracelet, beaming with a smile. “It’s too hard to pick a favorite. I love so many of them for different reasons. But I gotta say, Black Butler is for sure up there on my favorites list.”
I grinned. “Because you think Sebastian is hot?”
Faith blushed and adjusted her glasses. “No.”
“Uh-huh.” My grin widened. “Real guys don’t have a chance compared to hot anime guys.”
She snorted a laugh. “Well, same can be said for hot anime girls. All big boobs, tiny waists, and round butts.”
Once at the counter, I asked for refills on our drinks, and we stood side by side waiting on them.
Noise from the arcade blasted through the room, the dings from the machines and the excited murmurings of people playing the games. It was a popular hangout for teens, since we couldn’t yet get into clubs. The place had a “no kid under twelve” rule for after nine o’clock, so that made it better too. Made it seem a bit more grown-up.
“Um, do you have a girlfriend?” Faith blurted out, her words running together.
“Here you go,” the guy behind the counter said, handing us the drinks.
“Thanks.” I took them and looked back at Faith. Her cheeks were bright pink, and she wasn’t making eye contact with me.
What should I tell her? If I said no, she might get her hopes up that she had a chance with me. If I said yes, it would be a lie that I’d have to keep telling more lies to cover up. Something told me she wouldn’t judge me if I told her the truth, but the thought of coming out to anyone other than Emery made me feel like I was going to puke.
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” I responded after a super-awkward stretch of silence. “But I’m kinda seeing someone. Nothing serious or anything, but… yeah.”
“Okay,” Faith said, her earlier bubbly mood a bit sad now. Or disappointed. “Just thought I’d ask. Oh my god, I hope things aren’t weird now.”
“They’re not,” I said, handing her soda over. “It’s good to get things out in the open so there aren’t misunderstandings and hurt feelings later on.”
Emery had taught me that.
God, I wished I was with him that night. It didn’t even have to be for sex. I missed the feel of him against me. Missed his smell and the sound of his raspy chuckle when I did something silly.
It had only been a week, but I was already a little addicted to Emery Cross.
“I agree,” Faith said, before taking a sip out of her straw. “Thanks for being honest.”
“You’re a great girl.” I smiled down at her. “If things were different, you’d totally be my type.”
“Really?” Her face lit up. “I assumed someone like Lexi would be more your type.”
Pretty sure she meant I seemed like the guy to go for super-skinny and flirty girls who wore a ton of makeup and fake lashes and who giggled at everything I said even if it wasn’t funny.
“Nah, that’s all Ryan,” I answered. “Let’s get back and kick their ass in a game of pool.”
Faith smiled. “Sounds great.”
Around midnight, we left the pool hall and took Lexi home—Faith had driven her own car. Once it was just me and Ryan, he cranked up the stereo and shouted the lyrics to his favorite Sick Beat song called “Disaster.” I sang, too, and played the drum beats on my lap with my fingers.
“You sure you want me to take you home?” Ryan asked, turning down the volume once the song ended. “I don’t mind if you crash at my place.”
Ryan might have had his issues, but he was truly a great friend. He knew of my shitty home life and constantly worried about me. It was why it hurt so much to know he might’ve been homophobic—I wouldn’t know for sure until we actually talked about it, but the thought of that conversation scared the hell out of me.
“I’ll be okay,” I said, offering him a tight smile.
As much as I hated the apartment, I had an appointment with my student advisor in the morning, and I wanted to make sure I was prepared by double-checking everything for the millionth time on the school website. And nothing against Ryan, but if I stayed at his house, we would probably be up until four in the morning playing video games, and I couldn’t afford to oversleep and miss my appointment. Not after I had worked so hard to get into college in the first place.
“If you need anything, just call,” Ryan said, watching me unbuckle my seat belt and open the door.
“Later,” I said before walking toward the apartment building. There were several buildings in the lot, some more run-down than others.
Walking through the front door, I was instantly hit by a cloud of smoke. Steve and Mom sat on the couch with a damn bong.
“Smoking pot?” I asked, closing the door behind me. “Really?”
“It’s for my anxiety,” Steve said, flipping me off before taking another hit.
Mom was so doped out of her mind that she didn’t even register I was in the room. Her eyelids
fluttered and she swayed in place, as if she was about to fall asleep. She had a bad habit of taking Xanax and drinking at the same time. Add pot on top of that, and she was in her own world.
Too annoyed to be around them a moment longer, I went to my room and closed the door, locking it. After falling into bed, I kicked off my shoes and lay there, curling my nose at the smell coming from the living room. I opened my window and breathed in the fresh air before lying back down.
I had stayed with Emery almost every night for a week, so it was strange being back in my own bed. Colder. Not as comfy.
Lonely.
My phone lit up with a text, and I smiled once looking at it.
Liam: It’s weird not having you here.
Emery had been thinking about me too. Was he also lying in bed feeling a little lonely?
Me: Yeah. Can I come over tomorrow? I have an apt in the morning, but my afternoon is clear.
Liam: See you then.
I closed my eyes and imagined Emery brushing his lips across my temple, as he’d done every night before we went to sleep. It had started out as one of those random things I hadn’t thought much of, but now I realized how much I liked it.
Emery made me feel wanted. Cared for. No one else had ever made me feel that way.
Chapter 14
Emery
Lazing around the house on the weekend was rare for me. Other than waking early to go on a morning jog throughout the neighborhood, I had mostly stayed on the couch and watched TV. My usual routine on the weekend was to work out, deep-clean the house, work for a while in my home office, and then go grocery shopping and run any other errands I needed.
But I said fuck it that Saturday and decided to be lazy for once. Cason had taught me how to relax. Only a week with him and I already felt different. It was a change I could certainly get used to.
Hearing my phone ring, I glanced at the screen and answered it with a smile.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” Cason said, sounding out of breath. “Just finished with my meeting.”
“How did it go?” I asked, remembering how nervous he’d been about it.
His Temptation Page 13
