F*CKER

by Amo Jones

  “What an awful fucking—”

  Nikos pulled us across the road to the parked SUV. Once we were safely buckled in and he was pulling out onto the road, he looked at me in the rearview mirror. “Don’t listen to them. You can’t. They’ll break you otherwise. Understood?” His voice was harsh and solid, yet I could see the tenderness in his soft eyes.

  “Got it, thank you,” I said, looking toward Indie, who was a little panicked.

  “It’s my job.” He smiled before flooring it toward Ryker’s house. Indie was still hyperventilating.

  “Hey? Hey, you okay?” I placed my hand on her knee, and she looked to me out the corner of her eye, smiling shortly.

  “Yeah, fuck, that was intense. I could never live with that. I can’t see Leo enjoying it either.”

  “I think Leo sticks to himself for the most part. They’re just extra cray, because Ryker is in prison and because it’s the twins.”

  She nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

  “Have you spoken to Leo?” I asked, and she smiled.

  “Yeah, he seems well, I think.”

  I smiled back. “He does.”

  It had been one whole week since the cookout and the drama with the paparazzi. Ryker was expected to come home today. He’d made bail, like we knew he would, but there were still hurdles his lawyer had to jump. My hands were trembling and my heart was racing. Tommy sat next to me on the sofa, swinging his arm over the top to rest it behind my neck.

  “You okay?”

  “Mmhm… yeah, yep.”

  He laughed, patting my jiggling knee. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, I’ll be fine.”

  The front door swung open, with my dad, Patricia, Corletta, Cruz, and Nikos walking in. I stood from the sofa, chewing on my lip nervously. Indie stepped up on the other side of me, taking my hand in hers for support. We both mastered reading each other’s expressions a long time ago; it was comforting knowing she would always be there with me. My dad looked toward me, his worried face forcing a small smile. I was about to ask what was wrong, when Ryker walked through the door.

  My whole world stopped. My breathing was thick and heavy with pent-up nerves. His eyes landed straight on mine, his hair a little longer, giving him the perfect just-fucked shaggy ‘do. His piercing blue eyes bored into mine with such intensity it had me squirming in my spot. When the corner of his mouth kicked up, my shoulders relaxed and all the muscles I had been tensing released suddenly.

  The boys all walked toward him in greeting, and I flopped back down on the sofa in relief. Indie rubbed my arm softly while I caressed my temples, with my elbows resting on my knees. My fingers stopped when I noticed his high-top sneakers coming into my view. Squeezing my eyes closed, his voice slid around me like the comforting safety net I had grown to love so much. “Indie? Can you give us a minute?” his husky voice murmured softly.

  “You’re actually asking?” Indie cocked her brow teasingly.

  Ryker chuckled. “I’ll ask once.”

  She got up off the sofa, gesturing toward me. “She’s all yours.”

  Nice choice of words, Indie.

  “Don’t I know it,” he answered, with a hint of boldness, but a whole lot of assuredness. Similar to what I remembered from school. Since I hadn’t spent hardly any time with him during and after the wedding, and at the barbeque, I was still unsure of who he was now, compared to who he was back then. I had a feeling he was the same though. The way he held himself was exactly how he used to hold himself at school. Only now, he had supermodels and A-listers who had stroked his ego. Just great.

  The sofa sunk down under me as he leaned back into it, throwing his arms over the top. I chewed on my lip nervously before turning to face him, my mouth hiding behind my shoulder. His cocky smirk was playing on his mouth and I scoffed. “Did prison not straighten you out at all?”

  He chuckled. “Fuck no. This is me, baby. That will never change.”

  Shaking my head, I twisted the rings around on my fingers. “How are you?”

  His façade dropped for a second, his eyes softening. “The real question is, how’re you?”

  I nodded, tucking my legs under my butt. My white sundress fell back a little, exposing my upper thigh. His eyes darted to my thigh before dragging them over the rest of my body slowly with a smile on his face.

  “Don’t do that,” I said, eyes narrowed, but my heart pounded against my chest. It beat its own rhythm when it came to Ryker, a beat that was only for him, no one else.

  “Do what?” he asked, attempting to feign innocence, only I wasn’t buying it.

  “Eye-fuck me like that.”

  His head swung back with laughter before zoning his eyes back onto mine. He pulled his lip into his mouth and his two dimples popped out on both cheeks. I’d always been a sucker for those dimples. Damn it. My cheeks heated slowly, radiating from me as if the sun itself had just set over my flesh. I’d get burned, like I always did with him.

  “You want me to answer that?” His eyes worked over my face hungrily, darkening with need. He had been here for ten minutes and had already worked his magic on me.

  Defogging all thoughts and mentally giving myself a pep talk, I shook my head. “I think I get it.”

  Phoebe walked into the living area where we were seated, and flopped down beside Ryker, her blonde wavy hair sprawling out everywhere, and all over Ryker’s face. He chuckled, wrapping his arm around her neck. Pulling her into him roughly, he kissed the top of her head. “Try not to kill anyone else, Ryker. I need you.” Her voice cracked a little toward the end.

  Ryker’s face turned somber as something else filled his eyes. Not lust. Love—pure and unadulterated love. I could see from here how much these two adored each other. I loved that he and Ryder both had someone like Phoebe to pull their shit together, but I also felt a pang of jealousy. It wasn’t that I meant for to, or that I even wanted it to, but it reared its ugly head from the back of my brain and my smile faltered. Phoebe’s head leaned onto his shoulder and she sighed before jumping up quickly.

  “Bry, you have to come to my circuit this weekend! On the seventh of each month, I hold a race. Will you come?” Her eyes peered into mine.

  I looked to Ryker, who was glaring at me like I had no choice, he would drag me if I declined, so I nodded, braving a fake smile while trying to beat that ugly jealous head down. “Sure. I’ll bring Indie.”

  Phoebe pushed off the sofa, and Ryker laughed at her as she danced out of the room. “Yeah, shake that ass for me, baby. You know how I like it.”

  She looked over her shoulder and winked at him before looking at me. My face had fallen and my eyes were brewing with confusion. Her dancing paused. “Wanna come and help me make some desserts, Bry?”

  I stood from the sofa, not chancing another glance toward Ryker. “Sure.”

  She gripped onto my hand and dragged me into the kitchen I had become so accustom to. I knew things with Ryker and me were going to be a little rocky. I mean, as much as he had changed, he was still the same cocky fucker I knew on the inside. I had known Ryker and Phoebe were close; I had heard whispers. But I guessed watching them in action sort of threw me off guard a little, and showed just how close they really were.

  I had no right to be jealous. I was in a relationship two weeks ago, and although the relationship was built on lies, abuse, and blackmail, I still didn’t want to be that girl who dropped everything for her high school sweetheart. I couldn’t do that. A large part of me wanted to see what I would be like alone, standing on my own for once, and just enjoy the freedom that was taken from me for four years. Now I just had to figure out how I was going to be able to stick to my word, when all I want to do was climb onto Ryker’s lap.

  Laughter filled the crisp midsummer air and I smiled politely at Rellik, who was watching me with careful eyes. While Phoebe and I were crushing graham crackers for the cheesecake crust we were baking, Rellik had come in, asking if we needed any help. I didn’t kn
ow much about him, but I think he could sense my attitude shift in the kitchen earlier, which had dragged on to now, with all of us surrounding the outdoor rectangular table.

  It was a beautiful setting outside. You could see Ryker designed it specifically knowing that most of his activities would be happening out here. Off the porch sat a large kidney-shaped pool with a mini waterslide and rock cave, which had a bar underneath it and stools that sat in the water, filled with neon lighting. There was also a separate Jacuzzi that sat on the opposite side of the pool discreetly. No question why that was positioned the way it was.

  Rellik cocked his head at me, the same blue eyes he shared with his brothers scanning me closely. They looked similar enough to know they were all brothers, only Rellik had shaggy blond hair, some scruff on his face—hot—and was built in a way that would have you second-guessing his intentions with your body, but you also wouldn’t complain. He lifted his beer up to his mouth and took a large pull from it before setting it back onto the wooden table, all while keeping his eyes on mine.

  My dad’s voice echoing through my brain took my attention away from the intense gaze Rellik was throwing my way. Something about how Todd had no immediate family, or any family, that he knew of or had found, which was good for us, less of a mess. I felt sad he passed away, but then again, my hate outweighed my sadness. My eyes were still on Rellik’s when he nudged his head up silently. My eyebrows knitted in confusion, until he pushed away from the table and declared he was going to the bathroom. I watched him walk back through the floor-to-ceiling glass doors before figuring out he wanted me to follow him. Pushing my seat back to do just that, Indie glared up at me from her second piece of cheesecake. Really? This girl was horrible at her job.

  “You okay?” she asked. I glanced at Ryker, catching him already staring at me in question.

  “Yeah!” I nodded with a smile. “I’m fine, just need to call Ben and let him know I’ll be back in The Hills this week sometime.”

  Ryker’s eyes narrowed, his jaw clenching under the pressure he was inflicting on it. “You sure about that?” he asked, cocking a brow.

  “Sure about… what?” My eyes drifted away slightly.

  “Sure you’re going back to Hollywood so soon?”

  Nodding my head, I answered, “Yeah, I’ve got to go back and figure out what it is I want to do.”

  Clearing his throat, he took a sip of his drink before turning his attention back to Phoebe, dismissing me. Confusing fucking male. And there it was, that same look that pulled across his face while watching Phoebe. Why the fuck was I jealous? Jesus. I guess I felt more replaced than jealous. Which was stupid, because Ryker wasn’t mine. That realization made my throat clench and my heart drop.

  Standing from the table, I began walking into the house and toward the bathroom on the bottom floor. This was weird; I knew that much, but I could at least see what Rellik wanted. Pulling open the bathroom door, I found him leaning against the tub, which sat in the middle of the room. White tiles lined the floor and walls for a clean appearance. Perfect for guests.

  Walking in, I left the door open wide just in case someone got the wrong idea, because I could see how very bad this would look.

  “What’s up?” I asked, folding my arms in front of myself, only to see my boobs pop out of my dress, so I dropped them down beside me.

  “Is there anything I should know about the hit and run?”

  My eyes drew away from him for a second before returning. “Like what?”

  “Like who was he? Does he have family? Is there anyone that could run a risk to any of those boys? Especially Ryker and Ryder.”

  I paused for a second, gathering my thoughts. Why would he be asking me this, and what if there was? What would he be able to do?

  “Why? Why are you asking me this?”

  He pushed off the bathtub and walked toward me. I stilled. As much as he was sinfully sexy, there was a potent amount of danger that surrounded him also.

  Shoving his hands into his pockets, he tilted his head at me while I kept my eyes trained on his. “Because I’m the guy who will make those kind of problems disappear.”

  Swallowing down my sudden panic, I exhaled. He meant figuratively. Not literally. I was sure. I hoped. “He was a drifter. He was our PE teacher and attended the gym regularly. I remember reading in the article he didn’t have a next of kin, so I’m not sure.”

  Rellik nodded his head. “Good. Anything else I should know?”

  Swallowing, I shook my head. “No.”

  “Interrupting something?” A low, sensual voice slithered into our conversation, setting off goose bumps down my spine.

  I spun around, shaking my head. “Nope, nothing,” I answered, walking toward Ryker and side stepping around him, only he matched my step and my chest crashed into his. He dipped his mouth down to my ear and ran his warm lips over my lobe before his breath trickled over my skin. “We need to talk,” he growled, the vibration of his tone causing my eyes to drift closed.

  Swallowing for what felt like the one hundredth time tonight, I pulled back, looking into his eyes. “About what?”

  “About the fact that you owe me, and I want to cash in,” he said surely, and I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “I’m not playing games, Ryker.”

  “Naaw, but you used to love my games so much.”

  This was true. I think this was why we always worked, because we were both as fucked up as each other. However, I was too old for this shit, and my freedom tasted nicer than his filthy mouth.

  If I chant it enough, maybe I’ll begin to believe it.

  “I won’t play, Ryker. Not this time.”

  He weaved his long, strong fingers with mine, pulling me toward him and draping his arm over my shoulders. “Oh, is that right? Is that why I caught you tripping when me and Phoebe threw around banter?”

  I paused, pushing his arm off my shoulders.

  “Ryker, I’m not a game. You want to play with your little toys? Go and get you another supermodel. This one is not for sale—not anymore and not any time soon.” I pushed away from him and sped up the stairs quickly. Adrenaline spiked through me, because I knew, I just knew, I had waved a big, juicy bone in front of a dog, and those heavy footsteps echoing behind me were not from a Chihuahua. They were from a damn Rottweiler hungry for his prey. Running into the master bedroom, I pounced onto the bed and backed away from him slowly. He walked in, slamming the door closed with his foot, a smirk on his face.

  “You know how much I love the chase, baby.” His steps slowed as he walked toward the bed, in calculated steps.

  Shaking my head, I laughed. “No, seriously, Ryker. Don’t you—”

  He tackled me, and my back hit the marshmallow covers with a soft thud. My hair sprawled out over the pillows as a fit of giggles erupted from me. He rolled on top of my body and it took me back to our early days. My laughter died out when his body pressed into mine and he swiped the few strands of hair that had fallen across my forehead away, his eyes asking me silent questions. His arms were on each side of my head, and if I spread my legs, that glorious dick of his that I remember all too well would be in its happy place.

  I looked up at him. “I can’t do this with you, Ryker. Not yet.”

  “Why?” he mimicked my tone, while his thumb moved down and ran across my bottom lip. “It’s always been us, princess. Always. You’re a puzzle, but you’re my puzzle. I’ve always loved tearing it apart just so I can be the one to put it back together.”

  My heart raced, my palms twitching with sweat. “I know. It’s just not our time right now. I need to heal.”

  His eyebrows caved, a somber expression clouding his beautiful features. “Then heal with me.”

  He pushed himself off me, running his hands over his face and moving to the side of his bed, while looking out toward the beach through the floor-to-ceiling windows. “Give me a week, a week to show you how much I want this, how I can help you heal, Bry. We’ve always been better togeth
er. I fucked up at school. I pushed you away when I noticed just how lethal I can be when it came to you,” he answered, his eyes slowly connecting with mine. The change of tone with him had awakened some part of me. He had never showed me this side of him. When we were younger, I’d see glimpses, but mostly in his eyes and the way he would look at me. He didn’t have to say much with his words, because his expression always gave it away.

  I propped up onto my elbows, cocking my head. “I have a job, Ryker. I have responsibilities and the apartment I have to clean out, all that messy stuff. I have so many loose ends.”

  He shrugged. “Then I’ll come with you. You’re not doing this shit on your own, Bry. I should never have let you go to begin with.”

  I sighed, knowing he was relentless when it came to something he set his mind on. “Okay. One week. But there are no promises. I don’t know how I will feel after this week, so I don’t want to give you false hope.”

  His face lit up, a smile pulling on his mouth displaying those fucking dimples.

  I held my finger up as he began to slowly crawl back to me. “Slow, Ryker. This doesn’t mean I’m giving you an all-week access pass to my goodies.”

  He chuckled, moving toward me faster and gripping my hand in his, pulling me up to my feet. “Your goodies are worth waiting longer than a week for.”

  I snuggled into the crook of his arm. “What? No witty, smartass comeback? Where is my Ryker, and what have you done with him?”

  He exhaled in defeat. “Fine. My dick would need longer than an all-week pass to give you the pounding it’s been dreaming about since it left you.”

  My cheeks heated, but I laughed. “Let’s change the subject.”

  His hands gripped around my arms, pushing me backward and standing from the bed. “Yeah, change of subject before I change my mind about waiting.” He took my hand in his and led the way to the door. “When shall we go and tie up these loose ends?”

  I shrugged. “A few days? We have Phoebe’s race tomorrow night. And you will need to talk to your lawyer. I’m pretty sure you can’t leave town.”