The Book of Awesome
Page 1
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
So what's this all about?
The other side of the pillow
When cashiers open up new checkout lanes at the grocery store
Wearing underwear just out of the dryer
Old, dangerous playground equipment
Intergenerational dancing
Strategic trick-or-treating
Seeing a cop on the side of the road and realizing you're going the speed limit anyway
Illegal naps
When you get the milk-to-cereal ratio just right
High-fiving babies
When you're awkwardly standing by yourself with a full cafeteria tray of food ...
Having a whole row to yourself on the plane
Popping Bubble Wrap
Being the first table to get called up for the dinner buffet at a wedding
When someone lands on the hotel you just built in Monopoly
Finding a mix tape given to you by an old boyfriend or girlfriend
Picking the perfect nacho off someone else's plate
The moment at a concert after the lights go out and before the band comes onstage
Finding out your birthday is on a Friday or Saturday next year
Fixing electronics by smacking them
Hitting a bunch of green lights in a row
When you push the button for the elevator and it's already there
Bakery air
Tripping and realizing no one saw you
The Universal Fry-Sharing Policy
Sleeping in new bedsheets
Using hotel lobby bathrooms when you're out walking around
Taking your bra off after wearing it for hours
The sound of scissors cutting construction paper
Waking up before your alarm clock and realizing you've got lots of sleep time left
When the socks from the dryer all match up perfectly
When there's still time left in the parking meter when you pull up
The smell of crayons
Peeling an orange in one shot
Using all the different shampoos and soaps in someone else's shower
When the vending machine gives you two things instead of one
Licking the batter off the beaters of a cake mixer
Being the first person into a really crowded movie theater and getting the ...
Waiters and waitresses who bring free refills without asking
The final seconds of untangling a really big knot
The Five Second Rule
When the thing you were going to buy is already on sale
Peeling that thin plastic film off new electronics
Finding your keys after looking forever
Eating the extra fries at the bottom of the bag
The feeling of scrunching sand in your feet
Scraping all the lint off an overflowing lint trap
The thank-you wave when you let somebody merge in front of you
When you're really tired and about to fall asleep and someone throws a blanket ...
Getting your ID checked when you're way over the legal age
The smell of rain on a hot sidewalk
That friendly nod between strangers out doing the same thing
Really, really old Tupperware
Getting gas just before the price goes up
The pushoff
Wearing sandals when you shouldn't be wearing sandals
Getting off an airplane after a long flight
Picking up a q and u at the same time in Scrabble
Old folks who sit on their porch and wave at you when you walk by
The first scoop out of a jar of peanut butter
Hearing a stranger fart in public
Perfectly toasted toast
When someone unjams the photocopier for you
Reading the nutritional label and eating it anyway
When you're watching one of your favorite movies and you realize you don't ...
The smell of the coffee aisle in the grocery store
That pile of assorted beers left in your fridge after a party
Staring out at calm water
Blowing out all the candles on your first try
Sneaking McDonald's and hiding the evidence
Your family car growing up
Eating a free sample of something you have no intention of buying
Sneaking under someone else's umbrella
Finally remembering a word that's been on the tip of your tongue for so long
When someone offers to toss your dirty clothes in with their load of laundry
The moment at a restaurant after you see your food coming from the kitchen but ...
Terrible businesses run by children
Frozen walls of air conditioning hitting you on hot days
Catching somebody singing in their car and sharing a laugh with them
Snow stepping
Taking off your shoes on a long car ride
Getting the eyelash out of your eye
Finally figuring out how your hotel shower faucet works
Talking about how much the meal you're eating at home would cost in a restaurant
When you arrive at your destination just as a great song ends on the radio
Saying the same thing a sports commentator says just before they say it
Orange slices at halftime
Putting potato chips on a sandwich
When you didn't play the lottery and your numbers didn't come up
The smell of frying onions and garlic
Nailing a parallel parking attempt on the first try
The Perfect Chicken Wing Partner
Discovering those little tabs on the side of the aluminum foil box
Your favorite old, comfy T-shirt
The smell of freshly cut grass
A long hug when you really need it
A good floss after a tough steak
Dangling your feet in water
Salt
When you know all the buttons to speed through the automated telephone system
Laughing so hard you make no sound at all
When you nudge the person snoring next to you and it makes them stop
The sound of ice cubes cracking in a drink
Solving the Wheel of Fortune puzzle before the people on the show
When the guy at the border doesn't ask any questions
Really, really selling it while barbecuing
Locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away
The sound of rain from inside the tent
When you arrive at the bus stop just as the bus is coming around the corner
That last crumby triangle in a bag of potato chips
Bowling celebrations
Slicing open a taped-up box with a set of keys or a pen
Sitting next to someone good-looking on a plane
When you manage to squeeze out enough toothpaste for one last brush
Using Q-tips the way you're not supposed to use them
Watching The Price Is Right when you're at home sick
That one square in the waffle that's the most loaded with butter and syrup
Rain hair
Neighbors with pools
When you actually remember the name of someone you met earlier at the party
Somebody flashing their high beams at you to warn you about the cops
The Man Couch
The shampoo head massage you sometimes get at the hairdresser
Finding the TV remote after looking forever
Adrenaline
Getting a trucker to blow his horn
When there's leftover cake in the office kitchen
Hanging your hand out the car window
Getting served breakfast in bed
Finally clipping your fingernails after you've been meaning to do it all week
Coming home after a long day to the smell of someone cooking dinner
Big crowds enjoying big fireworks
Sleeping with one leg under the covers and one leg out
Building a stack of pancakes that looks just like the front of the box
When your sneeze stalls for a second and then suddenly comes booming out
Wordless apologies
The smell and sound of a campfire
When your suitcase tumbles down the luggage chute first after a long flight
Peeling off your wet bathing suit and putting on warm clothes after swimming ...
Bedhead all day long
Successfully moving all your clothes from the washer to the dryer without ...
Backseat car windows that go down all the way
Getting grass stains
When you know your TV remote so well you don't need to look at the buttons
When you hear someone's smile over the phone
Returning to your warm and comfy bed after getting up to pee in the middle of ...
Moving up a shoe size when you're a kid
Perfectly popped microwave popcorn
That one really good pen that never gets lost
When you're driving late at night on an empty gas tank and a gas station ...
Remembering what movie that guy is from
Using Rock-Paper-Scissors to settle anything
Pushing those little buttons on the soft drink cup lid
Your colon
The day you first realize you can drive
Crap job shoes
Celebrating your pet's birthday even though they have no idea what's going on
Waking up and realizing it's Saturday
High tens
Seeing somebody laugh in their sleep
When there's ice cream left at the bottom of the cone
Sweatpants
Multitasking while brushing your teeth
The Parking Lot Pull Through
The three-paycheck month
The smell of books
Getting in a line before it gets really long
Getting into a bed with clean sheets after shaving your legs
The Gas Arrow
Snow falling on Christmas Eve
Playing with a baby and not having to change its diaper
Squeezing a little more juice out of dying batteries
Falling asleep in the backseat of a car late at night on the drive home
Ordering off the menu a t fast food restaurants
Paying for something with exact change
The first shower you take after not showering for a really long time
The smell of gasoline
Your pillow
Getting something with actual handwriting on it in the mail
Building an amazing couch-cushion fort
Gym pain
Squeezing through a door as it' s shutting without touching it
Snow days
The first time you fly alone
When you spill something on your shirt and it doesn' t leave a stain
Finding the last item of your size at the store
When the boss goes out of town
Getting out of the car and stretching at the highway rest stop
Planning for snoozes
New Socks Day
Watching your odometer click over a major milestone
Mastering the art of the all-you-can-eat buffet
Finding money in your old coat pocket
The Laugh Echo
Crying
Driving through your old neighborhood and stopping to see the house you grew up in
The last day of school
When you're right near the end of the book
Smiling and thinking of good friends who are gone
Remembering how lucky we are to be here right now
Acknowledgements
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
AMY EINHORN BOOKS
Published by G. P. Putnam's Sons
a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
New York
AMY EINHORN BOOKS
Published by G. P. Putnam's Sons
Publishers Since 1838
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA * Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England * Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen's Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi-110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa
Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
Copyright (c) 2010 by Neil Pasricha
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed
or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of
copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
Published simultaneously in Canada
"Amy Einhorn Books" and the "ae" logo are registered trademarks belonging to
Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Pasricha, Neil.
The book of awesome : snow days, bakery air, finding money in your pocket, and other simple, brilliant things / Neil Pasricha. p. cm. "Amy Einhorn Books."
eISBN : 978-1-101-18691-6
1. Conduct of life--Humor. I. Title.
PN6231.C6142P'.607--dc22
All photographs by Sam Javanrouh (dailydoseofimagery.com) with exception of "Wordless Apologies" by Evan Long, "Smiling and Thinking of Good Friends Who Are Gone" by Dina Kim, and "When the Vending Machine Gives You Two Things Instead of One" and "The Perfect Chicken Wing Partner" by iStockphoto.
While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
Completely swallowing and devouring up every tiny last word of the entire book, including all the copyright, printing, and Library of Congress information that nobody usually reads. AWESOME!
http://us.penguingroup.com
So what's this all about?
Polar ice caps are melting, hurricanes swirl in the seas, wars are heating up around the world, and the job market is in a deep freeze.
Whoa.
It's getting pretty ugly out there.
That's why one chilly spring night I started a tiny website called 1000 Awesome Things. For a boring guy with a nine-to-five job, it became a getaway from my everyday.
I never imagined that writing about finding money in your old coat pocket, the smell of gasoline, or watching The Price Is Right when you're at home sick would amount to anything.
Honestly, when I started the site I got excited when my mom forwarded it to my dad and the traffic doubled. Then I got excited when friends sent it to friends and strangers started sending me suggestions: "When cashiers open up new checkout lanes at the grocery store," "The smell of rain on a hot sidewalk," "Waking up and realizing it's Saturday."
It seems like maybe these tiny little moments make an awesome difference in
many of our rushed, jam-packed lives. Maybe we all love snow days, peeling an orange in one shot, and Popping Bubble Wrap.
Maybe we're basically all the same.
Over the past year the website grew into a warm place where people around the world came to curl up under a blanket and think about the small joys we often overlook. With so much sad news and bad news pouring down upon us, it's fun to stop for a minute and share a universal high five with the rest of humanity.
What started on a whim has changed me for the better too. Now when I get the thank-you wave while merging, hear the crack of ice cubes in my drink, or move clothes from the washer to the dryer without dropping anything, I just smile and enjoy the moment.
So . . . that's the story so far. That's how we got from there to here. And now it's time to come on in. The fire's crackling and there's a seat on the couch here. Cuddle up and let's all get into it.
Let's all get onto it.
And let's all get a little bit
AWESOME!
The other side of the pillow
Have you ever found yourself lying in bed wide awake in the middle of the night?
You know how it is: Clock's clicking past 1:30 a.m. and you lie there with your eyes bugged open, chewing your upper lip, tapping the sheets with your fingers, completely frustrated. Your pupils have long adjusted to the dark, so your eyes are darting around the room over and over, trying to identify dark shapes or watching the moonlight shadow-dance around the walls. Maybe your thoughts won't settle down, you just can't get comfortable, you ate spicy food before bed, you have a presentation the next morning, or maybe it's just the frustration itself keeping you in a terrible, never-ending cycle of sleeplessness.
So you play dead and try to remain motionless as long as possible. You change positions back and forth, side to side, left to right. You get up and go to the bathroom or start reading a book. Maybe you try to remake the bed, since by now you've probably managed to twist your sheets and blankets into a completely unusable, tightly wound knotpile barely covering your legs.
On nights like this, when you just can't sleep, one of the greatest things invented is simply Turning Over the Pillow.
Yes, flipping over your pillow and checking out the other side cranks Bed Comfort up a few notches and is a simple and easy way to help you relax and get comfy.
The other side of the pillow, folks. Because it's flat when you're sagging, fresh when you're stale, and cold when you're hot, baby.