by M. A. Foster
I pull my lips to the side to hide my smile.
“Do you not remember seeing her at Brad’s last night?”
I shake my head and wince. “No.” I don’t even remember going to Brad’s.
My dad shakes his head. “You and Zach are high on Emerson’s sh—list. Bass wants your head. You both have some serious butt kissing to do.”
Fuck.
“Great,” I mutter, pulling out my phone. Might as well start now and lessen my chances of receiving a throat punch from Jay.
I type out a text: I’m sorry about last night. I had a fight with Harper.
Her response is immediate: ur an asshole.
This is true. I know. I’m sorry.
She doesn’t reply.
BOTH JAY’S AND Harper’s cars are already in the student parking lot. I pull into my assigned spot and hop out of my SUV just as Zach steers his Jeep into his spot.
Walking over, I stop beside his open door, adjusting my backpack over my shoulder as I wait for him to get out.
“Hey,” I say as he climbs out, the guilt from last night written all over his face, and raise my brows. “That bad?”
He huffs out a humorless laugh and nods. “That fucking bad. I’m pretty sure I won Asshole of the Year last night.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m not even sure I still have a girlfriend anymore.”
My heart stops. “What did you do?”
He shakes his head and we fall in step together, heading through the common area to our lockers. “Everything I could to hurt her, apparently.”
“Why?” I breathe.
“Because… I was embarrassed. I didn’t mean for things to go the way they did, but the longer she stood there, the more pissed I got. I made it worse by putting my arm around Reagan and making some references about how I used to like banging her. And still, because Jay’s a better person than I am, she drove me home.”
“Yeah.” I let out a hollow laugh. “You get the Asshole of the Year award.”
Carter appears beside me and snorts. “You’re both assholes. You had Ashton hanging all over you. Jay gave you shit and you said, ‘Not everything is about you, Princess. This isn’t a fairy tale, Jay. It’s real life. You of all people should know there’s no such thing as happily ever after.’”
“I said that?” I jerk to a stop. “Please tell me I didn’t…” Cheat on Harper.
Carter shakes his head. “You didn’t.”
I groan. I’m never drinking again.
THE YEARBOOK COMMITTEE meeting ran longer than I expected; I’d hoped to be out in time to get to my locker and to class without bumping into Cole. I feel like the walking joke of the day. Like Cole had been playing me all along only to laugh about me with his friends like his stupid friend Derek.
“Hey, Harper.” I wince at the sound of Cherry’s voice breaking through my thoughts. I didn’t even notice her and Jay standing right beside me. “I’ll see you at lunch, Jay,” Cherry says, giving me a little wave before she walks off.
“Hey,” Jay says softly. She looks about as beaten down and defeated as I feel. “Grace told me you had to leave early for a yearbook committee meeting this morning. How’d it go?”
“Boring.” I roll my eyes, deflecting. “Sometimes I forget what a total nerd I am.”
“A hot nerd,” she jokes, bouncing her eyebrows up and down.
“Yeah, right.” I frown.
“I heard you and Cole broke up yesterday,” she says, and I feel a little twinge of pain in my heart as a reminder. It feels weird. Technically Cole didn’t break up with me. He left me. But either way… it’s hurts like hell. “I tried to wait up for you last night so we could talk, but I think Grace spiked my tea and knocked me out.” I almost laugh, remembering Grace said she gave her some tea to relax. “Yesterday was a pretty bad day.”
“I saw bits and pieces of it on TV at work. You okay?”
“No.” A storm of emotions swirls in her jewel-colored eyes. “I’ll fill you in on everything after school. Are you okay?”
“Not really. Cole and I got into a fight yesterday because Josh showed up at Mac’s.”
“Oh shit.” Her eyes go wide before she leans over and whispers, “The married guy?”
“Yeah,” I admit. “I thought it was just a fight, and after he calmed down we’d talk about it, but apparently he had other ideas.” Cole hadn’t officially broken things off with me, but once I got that text, we were done.
“I’m sorry, Harper,” Jay says, her eyes wet with unshed tears.
“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re the only person who ever tries to do the right thing. You’re a good friend, Jay.”
“Cole is an asshole, but I know he loves you.”
He doesn’t deserve to have Jay defending him.
“It took me months to finally trust him, and one night to lose that trust. One bad fight and he runs straight to the one girl who’s made my senior year a fucking nightmare. Because of him.”
“That’s not true, Harper.”
Both of us turn to see Cole standing behind us, Zach on the other side opening his locker.
“I didn’t,” Cole defends. “She sat in my lap for all of two minutes. That’s all. You can ask Jay.” He lifts his hand and gestures to her. “She was standing right there.”
I believe him. I believe him because I know Cole would never invite chaos into his life. Into Willow’s life.
But I’m hurt.
And embarrassed.
And so damn mad.
He left you.
Ignoring his desperate plea, I look over at Jay and smile, masking the hurt. “We’ll talk later.” I give her arm a gentle squeeze before walking away, clinging to what’s left of my broken heart.
I FEEL LIKE shit.
Worse than shit.
Pushing Jay’s locker door back, I shove myself between her and her locker, giving her the perfect opportunity to punch me in the throat. I’ll take whatever she throws. It’ll probably hurt because she hits hard. But I deserve it.
“I’m sorry for what I said last night. You’d been through hell, and you didn’t deserve that. I was drunk and pissed off because of my own insecurities. I fucked up, but I didn’t do anything with Ashton. You know me, Jay. Help me out here.”
She tilts her head back and takes a deep breath, then returns her gaze to me, eyes narrowed, nostrils flared. “Listen closely, Cole”—she reaches for her locker and I step out of the way before she slams it shut—“because you are riding on my last nerve. Stay away from Ashton and, most importantly, stop being an asshole. It’s Valentine’s Day, for fuck’s sake!”
“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.” Zach attempts to kiss her, but Jay stops him with a palm to the face.
“Save it for Reagan.”
I snort as she storms out the doors.
Real smooth, Zach.
DROPPING INTO MY usual seat at our lunch table, I stretch out my legs, twisting off the cap of my sports drink.
Zach takes the chair beside me with his own sports drink and no lunch.
“Where’s your lunch?” Carter asks.
“I’m not hungry,” I say, and his mouth drops open.
“Someone make a note of this. Mr. I’m Starving isn’t hungry.”
Ignoring him, I look over at the door, expecting to see Harper walk in.
“She’s not coming,” Evan informs me as he slides his tray across the table and drops into his chair.
I frown. “How do you know?”
“Have you met my girlfriend?” He rolls his eyes as he unwraps his sandwich.
“Where is she?”
“Performing arts building.” He scowls. “I just want to thank you both for ruining Valentine’s Day for me and my girlfriend. Because of you two, Lexi is on a ‘guys are such dicks’ mission, and I’m paying for your bullshit.” He reaches for his drink. “Expect serious fucking payback.”
Zach leans back in his chair and rubs the back of his neck. “There’s a rumor going aroun
d that I cheated on Jay. I didn’t fucking cheat on her,” he growls.
“Yeah, but your little PDA with Reagan last night indicates otherwise. Everyone who was there saw what you did and heard what you said.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“This isn’t about picking sides, Zach. You’re my friend, but you’re 100 percent in the wrong.” Evan turns his attention to me and shakes his head in disgust. “I thought you were ‘protective’ of her. You weren’t being very protective last night. Lexi legit hates you right now.”
“Cherry, too,” Brad adds, shaking his head. “I don’t get it, Zach. You finally got your girl and then cut her off”—he snaps his fingers together—“just like that.”
“He’s a dumbass,” Carter adds. “You both are. She came to you beaten down after what those people did to her, and you stomped on what little dignity she had left. Were we not watching the same show?”
“I lost my head,” Zach admits. “It’s true what they say, love makes you do crazy shit sometimes. I love her. I’ll fix it.”
“If you love her, then why’d you do it? You should’ve trusted her,” Carter says.
Zach shrugs again. “I didn’t mean for things to go down like that. I was pissed. I overreacted. And I was drunk.”
I stand from my chair, twisting the cap back on my drink. “I’m gonna go talk to Harper.”
Evan bristles. “Good luck.”
Harper is exactly where I expect her to be, in the media room. Her back is to me as she stands at the counter, flipping through a stack of photos.
“Hey.”
She looks at me over her shoulder, then turns back to the pictures. “Hey,” she replies softly.
I move over to the counter and lean on my forearms. After five minutes, my patience gives. Straightening, I move to stand behind her, leaning with my hands on the counter, caging her in.
“Harper, don’t ignore me. We’re not fucking five. Talk to me.”
“Like I wanted you to talk to me?”
“Your ex-boyfriend—I mean married ex-boyfriend, whom you lived with. I didn’t miss that part—kissed you. Excuse me for needing time to calm down. And what did he mean, ‘ask her how we met’?”
“No. You don’t get to ask me questions. Not anymore. You had your chance, and you chose to leave me standing there and went running to Ashton.”
“I didn’t go running to Ashton. She was there. I was drunk, and she sat in my lap to taunt Jay. It was a dick move on my part, to you and to Jay. I’m sorry.”
She nods and blows out a breath. “I accept your apology, but I’m not ready to forgive you. I still sort of hate you right now.”
“No you don’t,” I argue. “How do I fix this?”
“You can’t. Just leave me alone.”
“No.” Not happening.
She snorts but I don’t find it funny. She turns around in my arms. “You don’t really have a choice, Cole.”
“The fuck I don’t. What else you got?”
“You left me!” she yells as she shoves at my chest, and I stumble back a few steps, shocked.
One: Harper doesn’t yell. Ever. She has the voice of a Disney princess. She’s even-tempered and takes everything with a grain of salt, even when she’s being bullied. I still can’t believe she slapped her ex, though it was funny as hell.
Two: I really hurt her.
Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her to my chest. She struggles to break free. “I’m sorry, Harper.” After a few seconds, she relaxes and wraps her arms around my waist. “I love you,” I whisper, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ve heard all the rumors floating around today. For the record, we didn’t break up, and Zach didn’t cheat on Jay.”
“You’re both assholes,” she says as she tries again to break free, but I tighten my hold on her.
“I know.” I chuckle. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Fuck off, Mackenzie.”
“HAPPY VANTINE’S DAY!” Willow cheers as I walk in the door. I chuckle, my sour mood dissolving at seeing the wide smile on her face covered in chocolate. My baby girl always knows how to brighten my day.
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” I scoop her into my arms, kissing her on her chocolatey cheek and inspecting her hands. All clean.
Today was hell.
Jay left school pissed off.
She hates Zach.
She hates me.
Harper hates me.
I hate me.
Zach and I spent the entire day putting the rumors to rest. Gossip is exhausting. I don’t know how chicks do it. After school, I followed him to the local florist and stood in line for over an hour to purchase a bouquet for Harper.
I decided to forego the typical red roses and went with a variation of lilies and tulips in shades of pink and purple in hopes that Harper would see that I actually put some thought into it. Even if it was a last-minute purchase.
In my defense, I had reservations for dinner. Still do. Although, I don’t expect Harper to spend Valentine’s Day or any other day with me for a while. I’m on probation, as she kindly put it today in the media room, after she kindly told me to fuck off. She agreed that we weren’t broken up if I agreed to leave her alone for a while.
It’s a small sacrifice if I get to keep her.
I should probably check to see if my balls are still intact.
THREE GIANT FLORAL arrangements are lined up across the island.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Harper.” Emerson gestures with her wineglass to the arrangement of stargazer lilies and tulips in various shades of pink and purple.
“There’s nothing happy about it,” I say, plucking the envelope from the mini pitchfork.
Harper,
Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful.
I love you.
Cole
Seriously?
Tossing the envelope on the counter, I ask, “Where’s Jay?”
“Upstairs getting ready.” Emerson jerks her chin toward the stairs. “Go get ready. The four of us are going out.” She brings the wineglass to her lips.
“I’m good with that.” I head for the stairs.
“Hey, while you’re up there,” Emerson calls out, “see if you get Miss Mopey to snap out of it.”
“Where are we going?”
“It’s Taco Tuesday.” She grins. “There’s this little Mexican place in Pelican Cove with two-dollar tacos, margaritas, and a live karaoke band.”
“It’s Valentine’s Day,” I remind her.
She shrugs. “It’s girls’ night.”
I laugh. “Got it.”
I take the stairs to Jay’s room and knock on the door before opening it.
“Jay,” I call out as I slip inside and close the door behind me.
“In here,” she calls back from inside her closet. I make my way through her bedroom and into her closet to find her sprawled on her blue velvet sofa in a pair of skinny jeans, boots, and a bra, staring up at the ceiling. She looks like she’s posing for Vogue.
I snort as I take a seat in the chair opposite the sofa. “What are you doing?”
“Getting ready,” she mumbles.
“Looks like it.”
She rolls her head to the side to look at me with unshed tears in her eyes. “Have you ever been so in love with someone that it hurts even when things are perfect? So in love that you miss them even when they’re lying right beside you?”
If she’d asked me that a year ago, my answer would’ve been a definite no. But now… there isn’t a doubt in my mind or my heart that I’m wholeheartedly in love with Cole Mackenzie. I never meant for it to happen. I didn’t plan it. I didn’t want it. But it happened. And I’m completely and utterly screwed.
Jay sees the answer written all over my face. “I don’t know what to do, Harper. I love Zach, but after what he did last night… the things he said….” She sighs, letting her words hang in the air.
I wish I could be a better friend and find the words to make h
er feel better. She didn’t ask for this life, and she surely shouldn’t be punished for it. I think Zach is a dick for what he did to Jay.
“There was a rumor going around at school today that he cheated on you. Cole said he didn’t.”
“He didn’t. But he used Reagan to hurt me. He was embarrassed by some pictures of me and Tyge Reynolds posted on line. He knows they were taken out of context but his ego is bruised. And Cole’s a dick for just sitting there and doing nothing. It was awful, Harper; the cameras were in my face the second I walked out of the building. I couldn’t see and I almost fell. They were shouting all these ridiculous questions at me about Ace.” She rolls her eyes. “I was never with Ace. It’s crazy how quickly they turned it into a love triangle between Ace and Tyge. Assholes.” She sighs.
I keep my opinion to myself. Sometimes being a good friend means listening and saying nothing at all.
“Your boyfriend’s dumb.” I shrug.
And sometimes being a good friend means being honest.
Jay lets out a soft laugh. “He is dumb and now he’s has plenty of time on his hands to think about how dumb he is.”
“You left early today,” I prompt.
“Yeah. I couldn’t handle being there and having to deal with all the gossip and the rumors. I needed some time to myself. I went for a mani-pedi, and then I met Elizabeth for coffee.”
She what?
“Zach’s mom?”
“Yeah.” She turns her head to look at me. “She apologized for treating me like shit yesterday, and—”
I hold up a hand. “Hold up. What did I miss?”
“Before I went over to Brad’s, I went to Zach’s because he wasn’t answering my calls. Elizabeth answered the door and, of course, we got into it. She called my mom a whore and basically called me a whore, too.”
“What a bitch.”
“Yeah.” She sighs. “But she apologized and we had a good talk. She’s still hurt over her broken friendship with my mom. She asked me to give Zach another chance.”
“What do you mean? Did you guys break up?”
“No.” A tear slips from the corner of her eye and rolls into her hair. “I mean… I don’t know. How do you break up with your soul mate? If you’re soul mates aren’t you meant to be together?”
