Freeing Asia

by Abel, E. M.

  “I’ll miss you, beautiful,” Jay said, looking at me from the corner of his eye as he squeezed my hand in his.

  “I’ll miss you, too.”

  I leaned over and kissed his cheek. I didn’t want to think about how hard the rest of the week would be. “Will you call me?”

  “I’ll probably call you so much that you’ll get sick of me.” He grinned as he watched the road.

  “I doubt that.”

  Soon, Jay was pulling up in front of Westwood Printing. He parked his car on the curb, and then he leaned over toward me. Holding the side of my face with his hand, he looked at me in a way that made my heart race.

  “Be good.”

  “I will,” I told him, brushing a kiss on his lips.

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  Jay got out of the car and walked over to my door to open it for me. I grabbed his extended hand as I slid out. He quickly moved my arm behind my back as he dipped me backward, and then he kissed me hard on the lips.

  “Just in case they’re watching,” he whispered.

  I smiled up at him as he slowly pulled me back up so that I was standing on my heels again.

  “Call me.” I kissed him one more time.

  “Promise.” He winked at me. “Bye, beautiful.”

  “Bye.”

  I turned and walked to the glass door behind me, feeling light-headed and giddy. As I pushed the door open, the two blondes quickly diverted their gazes to their desks. I grinned to myself as I made my way past them. Eat it up, girls.

  That afternoon, I went to lunch with Nick, and I told him all about my night with Jay.

  “Damn, girl! That sounds hot! I knew he’d be good in bed. I can sense those things, you know?” He smirked as he raised his glass of water. “This calls for a celebration! Asia finally got laid! Woo-hoo!”

  As I rolled my eyes, I couldn’t help but smile. It felt good to finally get laid, and it definitely felt like a good reason to celebrate. I raised my glass of tea and tapped it against Nick’s glass before taking a sip.

  “Enough about me. What’s been going on with you?”

  We spent the rest of our lunch break discussing Nick’s new love interest. Apparently, the guy he’d picked up at Jay’s club was more than just a nice piece of ass. From the way his face lit up when he talked about Luke, I knew Nick wanted more than just sex, but he wasn’t ready to admit it yet.

  “You know, it’s okay if you like this guy. I won’t tell anyone,” I teased Nick before I took a bite of my salad.

  “Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean I am, Asia.”

  “I’m not in love!” I replied, scoffing. Am I?

  I decided to give Nick a break since I obviously had my own apprehensions about love to deal with. “So, can we go shopping again this week? I need more clothes.”

  Nick gave me a suspicious look. “You’re asking me to go shopping with you? I never thought I’d see the day.”

  “Shut up,” I said, throwing my napkin at him.

  “Sure, I can go tomorrow after work. I know the perfect place. I found an entire strip of boutiques in the rich part of town—Regal Square. Your new man probably knows all about it.” He laughed before wiping his mouth with my napkin.

  “Thanks.” I gave him my cheesy smile.

  He rolled his eyes and stood up. “Come on, let’s go. If you smile at me like that again, I’ll probably gag.”

  When I got home later that night, I called Hailey to let her know about my talk with Jay. She said she was happy for me, and she apologized again for overreacting. I assured her that it was okay and that I would have done the same for her.

  I had dinner and did some laundry, and then I decided to paint. It had been about four months since the last time I painted anything, and I was excited to get my feelings out on a canvas. After hooking up my phone to my stereo, Tori Amos’s voice began to pour out of my speakers.

  Thinking about Jay, I mixed blue with a little yellow and red, making the deep dark color I saw in his eyes. I dipped my brush into the paint, and I began making long strokes against the canvas, feeling my heartbeat accelerate as I remembered what his hands felt like on my skin. I rinsed out my brush, and I went for black next as guilt and insecurity began to sink in. I was hiding a side of myself from him while thinking that I was not enough. I moved my brush harder against the canvas as I released my feelings through it.

  I had to find a way to let myself go. If I wanted something real with Jay, I would eventually have to let him in. Why does it scare me so much? No one had ever made me question myself the way he did. Before Jay, I’d never given a second thought to people’s opinions about me, but I’d also never wanted someone to like me as much I wanted him to.

  Maybe it was because I knew I wasn’t the kind of girl he usually went for, or maybe it was more. For the first time, I started to realize it wasn’t Jay. It was me. I always hid my true self behind my tough exterior and my indifference. I’d always pushed guys away before they could get too close, and I would use the excuse that they were just interested in sex. It was easier than taking a risk. It was easier than opening myself up and finding out I wasn’t enough.

  About two hours into my painting, I was feeling better. I’d let all my feelings out onto the canvas in front of me, and I told myself I would take the risk for Jay. He’s worth it.

  The music stopped, and my speakers began to ring. I jumped up and wiped my paint-covered hands on a rag before grabbing my phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, beautiful. I miss you.”

  I smiled from ear to ear, and my chest tightened at the sound of Jay’s voice.

  “I miss you, too. How was your flight?”

  “Excruciating. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was so hard knowing that I won’t see you again for five days.”

  “Four days now,” I informed him.

  Jay laughed into the phone. “Still too long if you ask me. So, what are you doing?”

  “Painting,” I muttered as I looked at my canvas.

  “Really? Are you going to let me see it?”

  “It’s not done yet.”

  “Well, I hope you do. I’m sure I’ll love it.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek. Jay had no idea how his words held so much meaning to me.

  I decided to change the subject. “So, what are you doing?” I asked as I sat on the end of my bed.

  Before I knew it, it was one in the morning. Our conversation had flowed so easily that it felt like only ten minutes had passed. I yawned and stretched on my bed, and then I reached to set my alarm clock.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you up so late. You should go to sleep,” he said.

  “No, it’s okay. I like talking to you.”

  “I like talking to you, too, but you need your rest. I want you to be wide awake for me when I get home in four days.”

  I smiled and rolled back onto my pillow. “Okay.”

  “Good night, beautiful. I miss you.”

  “I miss you, too. Good night.”

  I hung up the phone, and within minutes, I was drifting off to sleep with pictures of Jay in my head.

  The next morning, I was woken up by my phone ringing at six thirty. I rubbed my eyes and looked around my room, trying to remember where I’d left my phone. I found it under my pillow and peeked to see who was calling. It was my dad. Shit! I forgot to call him back.

  “Hey, Dad. Sorry I forgot to return your call.”

  “Yeah, I was beginning to worry about you. You’re not still sleeping, are you?”

  “I was just getting up,” I lied, trying to sound less tired.

  “Well, I was just calling to let you know that Rob and Alexis are coming to town on Friday, so we’re having a barbeque here at the house.”

  “Oh, really?”

  This was exciting news. I hadn’t seen my oldest brother much since he’d moved to Richmond with his wife.

  “Okay, what time should I be the
re?”

  “Just come on over when you get off work. I think Marcus is in town, too. Shaun invited him, so feel free to bring a friend if you want.”

  My body froze as my excitement quickly dissipated into horror and anxiety. I stopped breathing. My eyes were wide, and my mouth was open. Ohmygod. ohmygod. Ohmygod. Marcus. Fuck. Ohmygod.

  “Asia? You there?”

  “Um, uh…yeah, Dad. Okay.”

  “Okay. Take care, Asia. I’ll see you on Friday.”

  “Okay. Bye, Dad.”

  “Bye.”

  I threw my head back on my pillow and covered my eyes with my arm. “Shit! Shit! Shit!”

  I was freaking out. My heart was beating out of control, and my palms were sweating. It was only Wednesday, so I had a good two days to continue freaking out. “Fuck!”

  I hadn’t seen Marcus in seven years. Seven years! Now—now!—when I was finally happy again, when I was finally starting to let go, he would be coming back. “Fuck!”

  I’d always imagined that when we would see each other again, I’d be a successful artist. I would be rich and sexy, and he would get on his knees and beg me to take him back. This, of course, had been a fantasy.

  Marcus was not the type of guy to beg, and I was not an artist. I designed brochures at a printing company. At least I was a lot better off now than I was a couple weeks before. Now, I had a new wardrobe and a new man.

  Even if Jay couldn’t be there with me, I knew I didn’t need Marcus to beg me for anything because I didn’t want him anymore. Besides, he had made it very clear that he didn’t want me either.

  Now that I knew about my upcoming reunion with Marcus, there was no way I could fall back to sleep. I decided to go outside for a run before I had to leave for work.

  Running had always cleared my head, and it had helped me stay in shape, considering I didn’t like to diet. Since I liked my junk food, I worked hard to keep it off my ass.

  After returning from my run and taking a shower, I was braiding my hair in my bathroom when I heard a knock at my door.

  I went to answer the door, and a deliveryman was standing there, holding a big cardboard box with a clipboard on top of it. Exchanging pleasantries, I signed my name for the package.

  After closing the door behind me, I carried the box into my living room and placed it on top of my coffee table. It had to be from Jay because he was the only person who would have something delivered to my apartment.

  I ran to my kitchen and grabbed a pair of scissors. Returning to the living room, I carefully cut the tape and opened the box. On top, I saw a card with my name written on it. I ripped it open and read a handwritten note from Jay.

  Something to help keep you busy while I’m away. I hope you think of me when you use them. I can’t wait to see you again.

  XOXO,

  Jay

  I put the note down on the table, and then I quickly moved bubble wrap out of the way. Inside, I found three canvases, a beautiful set of paintbrushes in every style and size, and enough acrylic paint to cover the walls of my entire apartment. This must have cost a fortune!

  It was the most thoughtful gift I had ever received from a guy—or anyone for that matter. I clutched Jay’s note to my chest, and then I sent him a text message, so I wouldn’t disturb him in case he was working.

  Just got my gift. I love it! Thank you so much! And don’t worry, I couldn’t stop thinking about you even if I tried. ;) I’ll call you later tonight. I’m going shopping with Nick after work. XOXO

  After I put all my new art supplies in my room, I decided I would make Hailey’s old room my designated painting area. I might even choose a few paintings to hang up on my walls. Maybe showing Jay my art would be a good place to start.

  Nick had to run errands during his lunch hour, so I went to grab a sandwich at the deli down the street.

  With my lunch in hand, I headed to a quiet community park about two blocks away from my work. I liked to go there when the weather was nice. I sat on a bench and pulled out my cell phone from my purse to give Hailey a call. I was hoping she could come with me to my dad’s house on Friday to help keep me distracted from Marcus.

  When I unlocked my phone, I saw I had missed a text message from Jay. I was excited to see what he had to say as I quickly opened it.

  I’m glad you liked your gift. You are always on my mind, too. I still have your panties in my pocket. ;) I hope you have fun with Nick. Where are you guys going?

  I smiled as I messaged him back.

  Are you sure you can’t come back early?  Nick said he’s taking me somewhere new…Regal Square. Do you know it?

  I put my phone down, and I started eating my lunch when I remembered I was supposed to call Hailey. When I called her, it went straight to voice mail, so I left her a message.

  “Hey, girl. I hope you aren’t working too hard. My dad is having a barbeque on Friday. You have to come with me. Call me back, and I’ll explain. Love ya.”

  I hung up and prayed Hailey wouldn’t have plans for Friday night. I finished my lunch in the park, and then I started walking back to the office. I heard my phone beep, and after fishing it out of my purse, I saw another text from Jay.

  Yeah, I know it. It’s a nice place. Enjoy yourself. I wish I could come home early, but I have a dinner meeting on Friday. I’ll be on the first flight back on Saturday morning though.

  Miss you.

  I sighed as I put my phone back in my purse. Hailey better come with me.

  After work, Nick and I caught a cab to Regal Square. It was a really nice area with designer stores and boutiques lining the streets. Expensive cars were parked everywhere, and women dressed in classy outfits were walking around with loads of bags on their arms.

  “I don’t know if I can even afford this stuff,” I admitted to Nick as I took in my surroundings.

  “Don’t worry, girl. We can just get a few pieces here and then head to the discount stores to complete the outfits. Trust me, I know what I’m doing,” he reassured me, nudging my ribs with his elbow.

  When we walked into the first boutique, I immediately felt out of place. Although I was dressed nicely, I still felt like a fraud, and I was sure the salesclerks could smell it.

  Looking around, I found a few tops that were closer to my price range, so I decided to try them on. Nick helped me pick the best one, which of course was also the most expensive. It was eighty-nine dollars. Eighty-nine dollars! I had never spent eighty-nine dollars on a shirt before, but I trusted Nick, so I went to the register with my credit card in my hand.

  After the cashier bagged up my shirt and gave me the total, I handed her my card. She took a second to look it over and then asked me to see my ID. After the face I made when I looked at the price tags, I figured that she could tell these clothes were out of my price range, so I was guessing she wanted to make sure I hadn’t stolen the credit card. Nick looked at me, rolling his eyes, as we waited for her to swipe my card.

  “I’m sorry, but I cannot accept this card, Ms. Fuller. I was given strict instructions from management.” She handed the card back to me as I stood there, feeling embarrassed and confused. “I was told that anything you would like to purchase today should be put on Mr. Clarke’s tab.”

  My jaw dropped. “What?”

  Nick’s face lit up, and he took in a sharp breath as he smacked my shoulder. I immediately blushed when I realized what Jay had done.

  “Sounds like you need to buy a few more things, girl,” Nick murmured, raising his eyebrows at me.

  The clerk smiled at Nick and then at me. “If you need any assistance, Ms. Fuller, please let me know,” she said, handing me my bag.

  I turned around and slowly walked away from the register, trying to figure out how Jay knew where I was.

  “Did you tell him we were coming here?” Nick asked.

  Apparently, Nick was thinking the same thing.

  “I just told him we were coming to Regal Square,” I muttered, still in shock.

  “So,
that means he must have called every store. Oh damn, this is going to be fun! I get to buy myself something, too, right?” Nick asked, sounding like a kid in a candy store.

  “I don’t feel right spending his money, Nick.”

  I walked out of the door and onto the clean sidewalk as I pulled out my cell phone to call Jay.

  “Hey, beautiful. I didn’t expect to hear from you so early. How was your shopping trip?”

  “Um, I’m still on it, but a salesperson just told me that everything I bought was to be put on your tab?”

  “I hope you don’t mind. I just know how expensive some of those stores are, and I wanted to make sure you could buy anything you want. I hope I didn’t offend you. Since I couldn’t be there to buy them for you, I wanted to do the next best thing.”

  I sighed. I wasn’t sure how I should feel about Jay giving me full access to his money.

  “I don’t know if I feel right spending your money, Jay. I mean, I’m not dating you for your money. I hope you know that.”

  Jay laughed. “I know you aren’t. That’s why I want you to spend it. It would make me happy. And make sure Nick gets himself a few things, too.”

  When I looked up at Nick, he was watching me, clearly trying to piece together my conversation with Jay.

  “I’m sure he’d be happy to oblige,” I deadpanned, rolling my eyes at Nick.

  “I can hear you thinking, Asia. Don’t. I just want you to have fun and enjoy yourself. I wish I could be there with you. I have to go to a meeting, but promise me that you’ll spoil yourself. If it helps, think of it this way—I’m the one who gets to undress you, so you’re buying the clothes for me.”

  I laughed. “Fine, but I’m not going crazy. I’ll just get a few things.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  “Good. Now, go have fun and spend my money. Bye, beautiful.”

  “Bye.”

  When I hung up, Nick was staring at me with his boyish smile, his bright eyes twinkling.