Freeing Asia

by Abel, E. M.

  I shrugged, trying to seem indifferent, but I was smiling on the inside as I watched him find a spot on the wall for it.

  “Okay, well, I’m going to take this stuff out of here. I’ll grab you some sheets and a blanket. Do you need anything else?”

  “No, I’m good. Thanks, Asia. You’re really helping me out. You can leave those in here though,” he said as he grabbed the stack of canvases from under my arm.

  Feeling butterflies flutter in my stomach, I smiled and left the room. This is not good.

  We ordered some Chinese food for dinner, and then we sat at the table and discussed rent. Marcus insisted on paying all the utilities and cable bill along with his half of the rent.

  “It’s the least I could do,” he said before he took a bite from his spring roll.

  Watching him eat felt like torture. It was so hard for me to not focus on his mouth and his lips, not to mention the way his jaw flexed with each bite. When I wasn’t staring at his mouth, I was practically drooling over his body. His clothes were loose on him, but they still couldn’t hide his well-defined muscles and tight ass. I had to constantly put myself in check to make sure he wouldn’t catch me. I figured I would maybe grow accustomed to having him around, so his effect on me would eventually wear off. I was still waiting.

  After cleaning up our mess, Marcus asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with him. I was surprised he hadn’t made plans to go out. After all, it was a Saturday night.

  “You don’t have plans?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “I was supposed to go out with Shaun, but he’s acting all pissy now because I moved out. I think I’m better off hangin’ out here…as long as you don’t mind,” he said, giving me a suspicious look.

  “No, that’s fine.”

  I sat on one end of the couch while Marcus sat on the other, leaving the middle cushion between us. When I picked up the remote to turn on the TV, Marcus’s phone rang.

  He looked at the screen and sighed before answering. “Hello?” He sounded annoyed. “No, I’m busy…yeah. No, don’t worry about calling back. How’d you get my number anyway? I don’t usually give it out. Okay, well, I gotta go.” Marcus hung up, rolling his eyes.

  “Another one of your groupies?” I asked, smiling at him.

  He laughed and shook his head. Marcus had been the center of female attention since he was young, and by now, he had grown used to it, so he thought it was normal.

  “I don’t know what it is, but some girls just seem hell-bent on changing me. I always let them know up-front that I’m not into that love shit, but they just don’t listen.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Oh, poor Marcus. All these girls throwing themselves at you, left and right. It must be so hard. Boohoo,” I teased, making an exaggerated pout.

  Marcus picked up one of my pillows and threw it at me. Just as I started to laugh, his phone rang again.

  “Ugh,” he groaned before he answered it. “Hello? No, I’m staying in tonight. Tell Shaun I said sorry, but not tonight.” Marcus looked over at me, before his eyes moved to the ceiling. They widened as he listened to the person on the other end. “Um, well, thanks for the offer, but I’m good.” He hung up the phone.

  “What?” I asked, trying to hold back a giggle.

  “That chick just said she wanted to have a threesome with Shaun and me.”

  “Eww! Gross!” I yelled, covering my ears with my hands while shaking my head.

  “Yeah. There’s no way my dick is getting anywhere near your brother. I don’t care how hot the chick is.”

  I shuddered as I started flipping through the channels with the remote. “I guess I should be happy that I don’t have groupies.”

  “Pfftt! You’re so full of shit,” Marcus said, laughing at me.

  “What? I don’t!” I protested, raising my eyebrows as my eyes grew wide.

  “Asia, you were every guy’s wet dream in high school.” Marcus leaned toward me, giving me another whiff of his shampoo.

  God, he smells so good.

  “No way! I was just one of the guys in high school. No one even asked me out, not once,” I said, crossing my arms as I tilted my head to the side.

  He smiled, his eyes dilating. He sat there for a few seconds, just staring at my face, and I could feel heat rushing to my cheeks.

  “You’re clueless. You still don’t know the effect you have on us, do you?”

  My breathing paused when I realized he had referred to my admirers as us.

  “Us?”

  “Yes, us. I had a crush on you for years. How did you not know that?”

  I quickly looked down at my lap, biting my bottom lip, to hide the smile that threatened to break my face in two.

  “You do know that Shaun threatened every guy who took a second glance at you, right? Half of the fights he got into in high school happened because of what guys had said about you.” His eyes softened, and he laughed to himself. “Why do you think it took me so long to try something?”

  My head was spinning. This information was coming in too fast for me to process it all. And then I was pissed. Shaun had kept guys away from me, and that whole time I’d thought no one even noticed me. I’m going to kill him!

  When Marcus glanced up at me, he became surprised by the anger on my face. “Are you okay?” he asked, confused.

  “So, this whole time, I thought I was just one of the guys. I thought you only slept with me because you were bored, and…” I paused, feeling awkward all of a sudden.

  Marcus’s eyes looked hurt, and I immediately felt guilty.

  “Well, not bored, but—”

  Marcus put up his hand, silently asking me to stop. Scooting over to the middle cushion, he put his tattooed arm on the back of the couch and leaned in close to me. His eyelashes were so thick and long, and those eyes…I felt hypnotized.

  “That night after prom was one of the best nights of my life,” he confessed, his hazel-green eyes burning into mine.

  My hands were shaking, and I quickly slipped them under the pillow on my lap. It felt like I had just stepped into the twilight zone.

  When I finally got the courage, I whispered, “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I forced myself to look at him.

  He grabbed the flat bill of his hat and took it off. His hand rubbed through his hair as he gazed at the floor, the smell of his shampoo lingering in the air.

  “You deserved better than me, Asia. Shit, you deserved better than any of the guys we went to school with.”

  I sat there with my mouth open in shock. “Oh, so it was okay to fuck me but not date me?”

  Marcus whipped his head toward me. Now, he was pissed. “That’s not what I said. I avoided being alone with you for fuckin’ years. I had no idea I was going to see you outside, crying by yourself. I tried to leave you alone, Asia, but I just wasn’t strong enough. I fucked up.”

  I leaned back into the red cushion, letting out a big puff of air, as I absorbed everything. “I fucking hate Shaun!” I shouted as I squeezed the pillow on my lap.

  Marcus tried to fight the smile forming on his lips until he burst into laughter, leaning back on the couch with his face angled toward the ceiling. I laughed, too, as I looked at his profile. I studied his perfect lips and nose and those eyes. My heart was racing in my chest as my laughter faded.

  Marcus turned to me, his head still lying back on the couch. His smile slowly changed as his eyes focused in on mine. Without saying anything, he leaned forward and slowly ran his fingers from my scalp all the way to the ends of my hair, letting it rest on my shoulder. I looked down as I watched his hand.

  “I missed your hair.”

  It seemed like we were moving in slow motion. Marcus inched closer, licking his lips, and my eyes locked on their soft pink skin. My entire body was tingling as I leaned in toward Marcus’s mouth. His eyes moved from my eyes to my lips and back for several seconds. He reached up and cradled my head with his hand before we brought our mouths together.

  I was having an ou
t of body experience. I was watching myself kissing Marcus on my couch, but I couldn’t do anything to stop it. My entire body was in a trance, solely focused on his touch, on him. Each movement of Marcus’s tongue sent waves of desire through me. His lips felt better than I remembered. His kisses were soft then firm, smooth then rough. He was an amazing kisser…beyond amazing…magnificent.

  I moved my hand, gripping his hair in my fist, and as I pulled it, he moaned into my mouth. Pulling myself up, I straddled his lap as our mouths stayed connected. Feeling his erection pressed between my legs, I got a flashback, remembering how sore I’d felt after my first time with him. I suddenly felt empty, wanting to feel him inside me again.

  With his fingers digging into my skin, Marcus’s hands raked down my back, sending a rush of adrenaline through me. As he kissed my neck and moved toward my breasts, I started circling my hips on top of him. My back bowed as I gave into my body, completely ignoring my mind. Just as Marcus grabbed the hem of my tank top, we both froze when we heard a knock at the door.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Marcus groaned as he dropped my shirt.

  I stood up, and the reality of our situation sunk in. Marcus and I had just made out on my couch. I’d almost given myself to him again. Fuck!

  I caught my breath and straightened my shirt and hair before heading to the door, leaving Marcus on my couch. Taking a deep breath, I looked through the peephole. After seeing Jay on the other side, my eyes closed as I sank back onto my heels. Fucking shit! Fuck. When I turned back to Marcus, he sighed as he leaned back into the couch. Reluctantly, I opened the door, peeking around it.

  Jay looked upset. He was standing there in a white polo shirt and jeans, staring at me like I had broken his heart. My spirits quickly sank as I drowned in guilt.

  “Hey. Are you okay?” I asked.

  Jay glanced down the hall and then rubbed his hand over his short hair. “Yeah, I just wanted to talk,” he said, gazing into my eyes.

  I noticed his blue eyes were darker this time, almost black.

  “Okay. Do you wanna come in my room?” I asked, opening the door more.

  Awkward! I looked over at Marcus as I followed Jay toward the living room. Marcus’s jaw clenched as soon as he saw Jay.

  Jay stopped in his tracks, causing me to walk into his back. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked, glaring down at me from over his shoulder. It sounded more like an accusation than a question.

  “Yes,” Marcus clipped, standing up and facing Jay. Marcus looked like he was ready to fight. He just sneered at Jay, waiting for a response.

  Jay’s back tightened in front of me as he rolled his shoulders back.

  Oh god. Not another cockfight. I got in front of Jay and put up my hands. “Do you still want to talk or not?” I asked, waiting for his eyes to break away from Marcus.

  Grinding his teeth together, he turned back to me. “Can we go outside?”

  I nodded, taking his hand, as I pulled him toward the door.

  When we got outside, it was dark, and we were alone with a blanket of clouds hovering in the sky. I let go of Jay’s hand and crossed my arms. He stepped back and ran his hand over his hair again.

  “I miss you, Asia,” Jay admitted, looking at me with his deep blue eyes.

  I dropped my arms to my sides and sighed. Jay crammed his hands into his pockets, his forearms flexing, as he dropped his head down to look at his feet. I’d never seen him appear so defeated, and my guilt intensified as I moved closer.

  Wrapping my arms around him, I rested my cheek on his soft shirt. “I know. I’m sorry. I miss you, too,” I whispered.

  “Are you with him now?” Jay asked, keeping his hands in his pockets.

  Dropping my arms, I took a step back and shook my head. “This has nothing to do with Marcus, Jay.”

  Jay lifted his head to meet my eyes again. “I still want to try.”

  Biting my bottom lip, I looked down at my flip-flops. I never thought my flip-flops would hold so much meaning, but just seeing them on my feet was enough to remind me why I couldn’t try. My heart was locked away safely in its box.

  “I can’t.”

  I could feel Jay’s eyes on me, and I met his gaze, determined to let him know that my decision was made. He studied my face, like he was trying to memorize every curve and angle. I stood frozen, my heart thumping hard in my chest, as I watched his blue eyes flicker across my face.

  He gave me a small smile and leaned forward to kiss my cheek. “Okay,” he whispered. He turned around and walked toward his black Mercedes.

  Standing on the sidewalk outside my apartment building, I tried to control my breathing as I watched Jay’s car disappear from view. Straightening my back, I began to feel confident in my decision.

  I turned to make my way back inside. As I climbed the stairs, I could feel a pull in my chest, calling me back to my apartment. I stopped and stared at the 4B on door.

  Marcus was now living here, and we’d almost had sex on my couch. I pressed my palm to my forehead. How the hell do I get into these situations?

  I walked in the door, and Marcus was smoking a joint on the couch with his feet propped up on my table. Leaning back, his arms were draped over the back cushions as he stared up at the smoke drifting toward the ceiling. When I closed the door, he turned to look at me.

  “Everything okay?” he asked.

  I walked back toward the couch. “Yeah, I think so.”

  He shook his head and handed me the joint. “That guy’s got it bad,” he remarked as he blew out some smoke. “Looks like you have an even stronger effect on guys now.” He gave me his wicked we-have-a-secret smile.

  I sighed and sat down. Moving the joint to my lips, I took a strong pull, filling my lungs. Craziest day of my life. I blew out the smoke as Marcus scooted closer. I tensed when he put his arm over my shoulders. He rubbed his thumb over my collarbone, sending goose bumps down my body.

  “You deserve more than me, Asia. You deserve someone who will marry you and make you happy for the rest of your life. I don’t deserve you.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “What makes you think I want to get married? Have I ever told you that? Maybe I’m not as innocent and fragile as everyone thinks.”

  I shoved the joint back toward Marcus, and I stood up. Without a second glance, I walked back into my room. After slamming the door, I went into my bathroom and sat down on the toilet cover. Instead of pushing me away, Marcus’s comments only made me want him more. I rolled my eyes. God, you’re fucked-up.

  Still wearing my sweatpants and tank top, I woke up on top of my covers. I was startled when I heard banging on the wall in Marcus’s room combined with someone knocking on the front door to my apartment. As I recalled my dream about kissing Marcus, I noticed a small puddle of drool on my pillow. I groaned and wiped my mouth with my blanket.

  I got up and grabbed a hair tie from my nightstand. Walking out into the hallway, I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Marcus’s door was closed, so I decided to see who was knocking on the front door. As I got closer, I heard Shaun on the other side.

  “Come on! Wake up!”

  I swung open the door and scowled at Shaun as he stood there with his fist in the air.

  “Hey, sis!” he shouted, giving me a big smile.

  I heard more banging coming from Marcus’s room, and Shaun and I looked at each other before he started walking down the hall. Not wanting to be around Shaun and Marcus at the same time, I stayed in the living room.

  “What the fuck are you doing, man?” Shaun asked as he walked into Marcus’s room before shutting the door behind him.

  My shoulders relaxed, and I made my way back to my bathroom to brush my teeth. A few minutes later, I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

  “What?” I yelled from my bathroom before I rinsed my mouth out.

  Shaun yelled back, “Asia! We’re going surfin’. Get your shit together. Let’s go!”

  I walked into the living room and saw Mar
cus standing there in nothing but his boardshorts. My heart jumped in my throat as I held back a gasp.

  “Why aren’t you dressed? Come on, Asia. Let’s goooo!” Shaun groaned.

  Marcus and I just stared at each other. He smiled at me, and then he turned to face Shaun. God, he’s so sexy.

  “I’m gonna sit this one out, guys. I…I have plans,” I lied, looking down at my hands.

  “I call bullshit!” Marcus yelled, smiling at me. “What are your plans? Quick before you can dream something up.”

  “I-I’m going out with Nick!” I shouted, not sounding convincing at all.

  “Bullshit,” Shaun said, grabbing my board. “Hurry the fuck up, and stop acting like a girl.”

  I put on my red bikini, cursing under my breath the entire time. I can still say no…but what if the waves are good? I could go and just surf by myself and clear my head.

  I grabbed the same beach bag I’d used the day before and headed down to Shaun’s car. He just finished strapping my board to his roof, and Marcus was already opening the passenger door.

  “I call shotgun!” he shouted with a wink.

  I stuck out my tongue at him, and he wiggled his eyebrows up and down as I got into the backseat.

  More surfers were on the beach today, and some tourists were watching the swells crashing into shore. Shaun threw down his shirt on the sand and took off into the water.

  “You sure you’re up for this?” Marcus asked, staring out at the waves.

  “Of course,” I said, scoffing at his question. “Are you?”

  He glanced down at me with his secret smile. “I wasn’t talking about the waves.”

  The smug look dropped from my face when I realized what he’d meant.

  “Me either,” I replied, straightening my back, as I looked out at the ocean.

  I’d prove them all wrong. I wasn’t fragile, and I could handle my own decisions. Guys weren’t the only ones who could have casual sex. Without another word, I dropped my shorts on the sand and pulled my board up under my arm. I walked out into the water as Marcus watched me.