Dark Truths: Kiss Her Goodbye #2

by Royce, Rebecca

  “Do you always get this room?”

  He pointed to the left. “There are multiple bedrooms and since I’m fucking stuck with you, go into that one. Close the door. I don’t want to see you the rest of the night.”

  He didn’t? Was it not safe in here either? I turned and went where he’d indicated. If this is had been how they would have treated me, I really wouldn’t have been okay. I crossed into the room, closed the door, and crawled into the bed.

  My phone dinged.

  Not safe, babe. The message came from Warden. We always take this room. Possibly bugged. Kade will get it fixed up and then we can speak. Until then, I’m lonely for you. This phone is safe because Kade set it up but don’t overdo it because it’s going to look obvious if they are watching if you’re always looking at your phone.

  I sighed. Got it.

  Hey—this was your idea. You said you could do this.

  I could, that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to hate every second of it.

  * * *

  I must have dozed off because I woke up some time later to the phone dinging again. It was a message from Trace.

  It worked. He’s arrived. I have it on good authority that he wants to make a trade for you. Come help me sell it. I’m at the bar. Come order a drink like you don’t know I’m there.

  I sighed. The last thing I wanted to do was leave this comfy bed and go to a bar. Still, I’d do what I could to help with this, to get this over and done with. Coming.

  I stared at myself in the mirror. I didn’t have my suitcase, although I suspected it would be in the living room, having been brought up. I ran a hand through my hair, which didn’t require much being so short, straightened my bangs, and left the room. Warden wasn’t anywhere to be found, and I didn’t have a key. I guessed I was just going to have to work all of that out.

  I put on my shoes after spotting my suitcase in the corner by the door. I quickly sent Warden a message. I need a key.

  He didn’t immediately respond, and I heard it ding in the other room. He must have been sleeping. I didn’t know what to do. If we really hated each other, I’d not go look in his room to see if he was in there curled up in his bed. I wouldn’t go climb in with him and cling to his body like a lifeline. I wouldn’t do that because he hated me in this scenario, and so hypothetically, I hated him, too.

  I left. If he was here, he could let me back in.

  I took the elevator down to the lobby and followed the sound of laughter to the bar. Several things struck me at once. The lobby was filled with men of all ages, but outside of the staff, everyone here was male. I should have considered that earlier. The Alliance was all men. They wouldn’t have any women here. As I walked to the bar, conversation hushed and all eyes were on me. Maybe that should have felt powerful, but it didn’t. Not even a little bit.

  I sat down at the bar and a woman, who was clearly not Alliance walked up to me, placing a napkin in front of me. “What can I get you, honey?”

  She was petite and blonde with an impressive set of breasts that I envied, considering how my own had all but vanished during my starvation. Not that any of the guys seemed to be complaining. I tried to smile at her. Trace had said to order a drink. The idea of alcohol turned my stomach, but I’d do my best to fake it.

  “I’ll take an old fashioned.”

  She nodded. “Rye?”

  That was how I liked them. “Sounds good.”

  “Great.” She looked around the room. “You seem to be getting a lot of attention from this group. How did you end up here in a men’s support group conference?”

  I blinked. Was that what they were calling this? Which one of them had done that when they’d somehow taken over this entire hotel? It had to be Kade. Trace would have been more creative. Warden hadn’t gotten involved in this other than a seating chart, and Judson would never think to use support in anything. Yes, this was Kade. He was having a laugh about this. A support group? When they were all ready to murder each other all the time?

  “I came here with some people.” I never got to finish the thought as Trace slammed himself down in the chair next to me.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing down here?”

  Well, asshole you ordered me out of bed to come and do this. Instead of that, I sighed. “I wanted a drink.”

  “Warden couldn’t stand having you around. I bet that was it.” He shook his head before he spoke to the bartender. “Whatever she ordered don’t give it to her. She doesn’t need anything to make her whinier or to start crying again.”

  The bartender widened her eyes. When she spoke, it was to me. “Do you need help? Do you need to get away from him?”

  Her words actually brought the tears that Trace wanted me to shed. I tried to swallow them away, but I couldn’t. I wiped my wet cheeks. “No… I have to stay.” I hoped that was the right thing to say. “Very nice of you.”

  I’d forgotten there were people who sometimes did this, who took the chance to help others with nothing to gain from it. If anything, this woman could lose her job. Yet, she’d done it. Strangers sometimes helped strangers. Maybe they were living a delusion, they’d never know the truth of the world. What did it matter? They were good people.

  “If you need anything, I’m here.”

  Trace glared at her. “Not for much longer if you get in my business any further than this.”

  I shot him a look. We were playing roles and maybe he couldn’t let this one go. Fine. But he wasn’t going to do anything to disrupt this woman’s life unless it was to improve it. Otherwise, he’d answer to me.

  “I just want to have this drink and then go back to my room.”

  He pointed at the elevator. “Go now.”

  I slipped off the stool. This physically hurt. I didn’t take orders like this, I didn’t let people order me around. I didn’t get told I couldn’t have a drink. And as much as I wanted to be this person, in this role, it had to be believable. Ben had spent time with me. He knew who I was, how I fought him until I was almost dead. My father could tell any of them that while I was more than capable of crying, my temper was really my problem.

  The bartender set down the drink. I guessed she wasn’t intimidated by Trace’s orders. I was impressed with her that was for sure. I grabbed the drink, taking a long sip. I held Trace’s gaze. He lifted his eyebrows.

  Yeah, he didn’t know what I was doing, which was particularly helpful. He wanted them to think they were done with me? Fine, I’d give them a show the watching eyes in this room would never forget. I’d had a sip of that drink, and now I’d love more, but I’d live without it. I threw the drink right into Trace’s face.

  Shock rolled over him before he jumped to his feet. I grinned. “Guess I’ll go to the fucking room now.”

  Yep… everyone would understand why Trace wanted to be done with me. I might be able to make this work.

  * * *

  The room is safe. Kade’s message was brief. Everyone can meet up there at your earliest convenience.

  I sat in the living room, flipping through channels, not knowing anything about any of the shows there. Perhaps I should binge watch something. Warden came out of the bedroom, holding his phone.

  “I guess you got back in. Sorry I missed your text.” He rubbed at his eyes. I didn’t think I’d ever really seen Warden sleepy before. Even when we were off grid he’d always seemed incredibly alert all the time, even when he was stoned.

  He was sort of adorable. “Kade says we’re safe.”

  He plopped down on the couch, and curled up, his head in my lap. “Tired. Actually, I don’t remember the last time I slept. I don’t much.”

  Yes, he’d said that, but he’d slept great the times he was with me. I played with his hair. It was soft. “You can still rest. I think it was only a few hours that you napped.”

  “Napping makes me sound like an old man.” He smiled. “I’m not forty yet.”

  I smiled. Sometimes I did forget they were older. They’d had an incre
dible slew of life experiences I hadn’t had. “Warden, I threw a drink in Trace’s face.”

  His eyes shot open and just as suddenly he grinned. “You did?”

  “I think I made him legitimately mad.” I didn’t like that.

  He yawned again, this time cuddling back down. “You probably did. Trace has been mad before.”

  “Will he put me on his hit list mad?” I didn’t know I wondered about that until I said it. “What does a person have to do to get on that list?”

  He shrugged. “Take his parking spot. I’m kidding, sort of. No, you’ll never be on his hit list.”

  I didn’t know how he could be so sure about that.

  Kade came through the door, whistling as he did so. “Sorry that took so long. I got distracted watching a beautiful brunette pouring a drink on a guy I know.”

  I shook my head. “Too far?”

  “I think it was just right. Ben’s people approached him, and they’ve been sitting at that bar ever since. We’re getting this done. And Derrick checked in. He’s someplace close but not approaching. He doesn’t want to give away that he’s here.”

  I was glad he was okay. It was impossible to think about the things he did, the places he went, how easily he could kill or be killed. I couldn’t even allow myself to worry about him because it might make me go even further down this dark path to madness I found myself walking on.

  “There’s one more thing.” Kade plopped down on the couch on the other side of me. “Your father is here. I saw him. I almost… well, maybe less said on that the better. He’s still breathing air. He’s here.”

  I hadn’t focused on him. Of course, he was going to be here. He was a member, like all those creepers in the bar. “Thanks for telling me. Hey, the bartender. Trace acted mad at her. He won’t have her fired or anything, right?”

  The door swung open, and Kade lifted his head. “Ask him yourself. Hiya, Trace.”

  He closed the door. “What are the spies seeing when they get into their hidden cameras in here? What are we showing them? I mean, they saw me get in the elevator. It can’t show me as not here.”

  Kade waved his hand. “The second you pushed the button to enter this floor, my program inserted you here in the room, sitting on the couch, watching television. Everly is sprawled out on her bed. I’m on the computer and Warden’s in his room. We’ll move on. Say things. They’re not smart enough to recognize my avatars as fake at this point. We won’t be here long enough for them to notice.”

  I tapped Warden, and he moaned before he got off my lap. He yawned his way into the bathroom.

  I approached Trace slowly. “Mad at me?”

  “No, I mean I don’t remember the last time I was that surprised. You drenched me with rye.”

  He seemed dry now. I wrapped my arms around him. “It seemed like the thing to do. I still had to be me. They wouldn’t believe otherwise.”

  “Well, it worked. I’m supposed to turn you over tomorrow. I didn’t see Ben or there wouldn’t be any Ben anymore.”

  Warden came out of the bathroom. “Better you wait and do that with one of us. Unless you’re looking to kamikaze this and take him out as you end your own life?”

  Trace shook his head. “I’m still owed a date with Everly. I’m not going anywhere until I get that.” He winked at me. “Can I speak to you for a second, Evy?”

  “Oh, sure.” I pointed toward the bedroom and he followed me in, closing the door behind us. Trace was on me in seconds, his mouth making love to my own. I hadn’t known I needed him to do that. I hadn’t understood how much I needed to be kissed and by him.

  He tugged me up against him, and I melted into his strength. I pulled back only to speak to him. “I hated this. It hurt me. I thought I’d roll with it. I’m not.”

  “I can tell.” He kissed my neck. “None of it is real. It hurts me to hurt you. How did this happen? I don’t feel anything for anyone. That’s terrible, I know. I’ve stayed up at night wondering if I was some kind of… machine. But then there was you.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Don’t mean it. Don’t ever mean it and I’ll get through however long we have to do this.”

  “Not much longer.”

  A knock sounded on the door, and it was Judson’s voice that interrupted. “Sorry. I’d love to leave you alone. But we need to talk about tomorrow, even beyond Ben. We need to talk about what’s going to happen tomorrow.”

  Trace groaned and then stepped back. “I’m still getting that date.”

  I followed Trace into the living room where everyone but Derrick waited. Judson smiled at me. “Hate this, but I have to ask you to wait in there while we do this.”

  “Wait… I’m sorry, what?” I didn’t understand. “Why?”

  “This is not something you can do with us. There are still going to be secrets. You know so much more than you should, but you can’t be a member. I need you, for safety among other things, to wait in there. Tomorrow isn’t about Ben and his faction. It’s about appealing to the masses we need to follow us and not him. We’ve killed a bunch of the leadership. We need them to not care about that. There’s a lot at stake. I’m sorry, Everly. I hate having to be the one to make you feel shitty.” He pointed at Trace. “I’d rather leave that to him.”

  Trace grabbed a water bottle. “And you can go fuck yourself, Judson.”

  None of them objected. Warden didn’t stand up and say I should stay; Kade didn’t even look up from his screen. I guessed I was sent to my room.

  “If one of you might consider feeding me at some point through a hole in the door, I’d appreciate it. That is if it doesn’t interfere with your motivational speech planning for your secret boys’ club.”

  Kade snorted and officially looked up from what he was doing. Warden outright laughed, and Judson groaned.

  It was Trace who finally spoke. “What would you like to eat?”

  “Surprise me.” I closed the door and then quickly opened it again. “Sorry, if I seem a little triggered by this but you might remember the last time you left me out of some Alliance planning I woke up with Ben in my bedroom and had to live through hell. Keep your secrets, but if they burn me in the ass, expect me to dish out pain. That is all.”

  I shut the door again, this time leaving it that way.

  I ended up finding something interesting on television that had to do with cleaning. I never thought I’d watch a show on straightening up, but it was interesting and the woman certainly did seem to make an art out of it. After the second show, Judson knocked on the door and came in carrying a tray of food.

  “I come bringing a peace offering.”

  My stomach grumbled. “That’s not fair. Hunger makes me weak.”

  “I know.” He carried it over to the desk and set it down before taking off the lid. My mouth watered. I did love a good hamburger and this looked like a really good one. He’d even gotten me fries. And an ice cream sundae with whipped cream.

  He pointed to it. “This is not what you should be eating, but I think it’s probably what you want to be eating, and tonight I’m in the mood to give you whatever you want.”

  Whatever. Let him go all doctor-y and think about nutrition. There was a hamburger on the table, and I was twenty-four years old. I was going to eat it and not give his words another thought. He sat down on the bed, presumably to watch me eat. Well, he could have at it. This was good. I ate my heart out and then sat back, gripping my stomach.

  He lifted one eyebrow in that annoyingly frustrating way that Jud could do that was somehow both obnoxious and sexy. Oh hell, I could have talked about all of them that way. The Letters were all obnoxious and sexy. That pretty much defined them.

  “Eat too much?”

  “If I did, it’s not your concern.”

  He laughed. “So am I forgiven?”

  “No. Yes. Whatever. Keep your secrets. Just don’t get me killed for it, please. Or kidnapped. Or raped. Or whatever. You get the general idea.”

  Jud took
my hands in his. “Nothing I’m doing is going to get you hurt. It’s going to make you safe. After tomorrow, with things aligned and Derrick managing the French issues, you’ll be safe. But there are things that have nothing to do with you, nothing to do with the relationships you’re forming with us, that I have to keep you from.”

  I swallowed. With my stomach filled, I really was in a much better mood. “What happens to me next? How does any of this work? I didn’t want to go running around chasing you all over the country before, and I must tell you that isn’t appealing to me now.”

  Judson rose before bending over to kiss my forehead. “Let’s talk about that tomorrow night. Okay? Tomorrow night we’ll all sit down, presuming that Derrick is back, and we’ll sort out how we proceed from here.”

  “Fine.” I pointed at the door. “Goodnight, Judson. I’m sleeping alone tonight.”

  That seemed to take him by surprise. Judson’s mouth fell open. “Really?”

  Judson was never more adorable than when he was befuddled since it happened so irregularly. “Did you think you could feed me and that I’d say come into my bed Judson? All is forgiven? Out.”

  He shut his mouth. “Sleep well, beautiful.”

  I wondered if I’d made a mistake the second I sent him from the room. I did like sleeping with them, I did love how it felt to have their arms around me. Maybe throwing the drink into Trace’s face awakened something in me I’d long forgotten. I had a path, goals. I wasn’t just a woman that got shot at and kidnapped. I’d had plans for myself. I didn’t get kicked out of rooms and ordered into bedrooms. I could find that part of me again.

  And somehow there would be a place in all of that mess that was me for The Letters, too. I smiled. Today worked. There was going to be a future. A good one. It might have been weird and I might not have known how it was going to look, but it would be mine.

  I turned off the light. With my stomach full, I closed my eyes. I could sleep alone. I’d done it my whole life.

  * * *