Endurance: A Salvation Society Novel

by Alexandra Silva

  The “have you heard” and “did you hear” with the “how could they” and “can you believe it” that are abruptly stunted when we’re within earshot.

  That’s the thing about high society—although it’s not okay to talk about your problems to others, it’s all too normal to gossip about others. They would rather spread lies than be told the cold, hard truth.

  Still, Dad was right in his letter. People that are quick to judge are often the ones that are too scared to act for themselves. They would rather justify their regrets by picking apart the lives of others.

  The minute we make it outside, I gulp down the cool fall air, hoping that it will clear the mustiness of the place. The smell of expensive booze, fancy food, and opulent fragrances all contained in history-lavished walls that threaten to smother you the longer you remain within them.

  “I know you don’t like Mike, but—” I start, but Garrett is quick to tell me, “I’m sorry. I just…” He shakes his head as though he’s trying to get his thoughts together. “I guess there’s something familiar about the guy he was talking to.”

  “Maybe you’ve seen a photo of him in one of those medical journals you read?”

  “Probably.” He shrugs, and before I can say anything else, he takes the champagne I’m still holding on to and puts the flute down on the wall overlooking the vast lawn. “Walk and then water?”

  “Sounds good. Priscilla’s right, it’s so damn stifling in there. I’d forgotten how stale these places are and how…how priggish the people can be.”

  “You can call them for what they are. Assholes.” He grins, but there’s still something not quite right in his eyes. Something that tells me his mind is in overdrive.

  Hand in hand, we take the terrace concrete stairs down to the grassy area. Small globe lights dot down the stone slab path that leads into the tree line bordering the golf course. The light from the room behind us diffuses with every step we take, and when we reach the last one, Garrett steps down, turning into me so that we’re face-to-face.

  “Have I told you how pretty you look?” he breathes over my lips, hands molding to my neck as he thumbs up and down the column of my throat.

  The tightness in my chest loosens at our closeness, his warmth permeating through me while he lightly nudges the tip of my nose with his.

  He has. He’s told me every chance he gets, and every time, the butterflies in my stomach go berserk at his words and the awe and need in his burning stare.

  When I nod in reply, he adds, “Not just tonight, sweetheart. Every damn day.”

  A giggle erupts from me as his hands rove down my sides, clutching my waist while my arms round his shoulders. Without warning, he hitches me up his body and spins away from the steps, peppering my lips with kisses.

  The sound of the music from inside picks up for a second before it mutes again. And although we’re both aware that there are other people out here, we hold on tighter to each other. Our innocent kisses become one long, languid kiss as my feet touch the ground, and we sway along to the sound of the autumnal breeze around us. It’s mild, not much cooler than the weather we left behind yesterday.

  “I miss home already,” I tell him when we come up for air.

  Garrett chuckles lightly, arms circling my waist. “Me too.”

  For a short while, he continues swaying me to that same tune he hummed when we danced on the boat. The anxiety that’s been building since we arrived at the party slowly ebbs away until I’m the most relaxed I’ve been all of today.

  “I know you’re happy at the ranch,” he murmurs, still holding me close, moving us around in circles.

  “I am, and Iris loves it too.”

  His hold tightens around me, and as though it can sense what’s coming, my heart begins to beat faster and faster as we spin again, and his lips find my ear. “Do you think she’d love my place? As a home.”

  The question comes as a surprise. The most we’ve spoken about my housing plan was that once my contract with the Virginia Beach aquarium was signed, I’d look at the options available. Of course, when I spoke to Jo about it, she was adamant that the ranch was our home now and that I shouldn’t waste my time looking for another.

  Slowly we come to a stop, and when I find his gaze, he smiles. I expected to find some kind of demand for an answer, and a part of me was starting to panic about what to say.

  “You can tell me if you don’t want to talk about it.”

  “I don’t want to hurt anyone, least of all you, Doc.” I take a deep breath, pushing away the thoughts of what everyone else would like or think before I answer, “Yes, she would. I think she’d love any place if you were there. Home isn’t really a physical place, is it?”

  “Not entirely, no.”

  “She loves you, Garrett.”

  “Enough to live with me?”

  I nod, unable to vocalize anything further because I’m completely overwhelmed by the conversation. I didn’t see it coming.

  “And you?” He audibly swallows, making it very clear that he is also feeling the magnitude of his question.

  “Yes.”

  “Would you like to move in with me?”

  It’s been a strange couple of days, and I’m pretty certain that my sanity and senses have abandoned me. But still, nothing would change my answer as I nod. My insides are a mess of butterflies and knots. My chest aches with the push and pull of recent events.

  “I’ll have to talk to Iris about it, and Jo. I don’t want to overwhelm either of them or abandon Jo.”

  “I know, and there isn’t a timeframe on this. It’s just…” He pauses as footsteps sound from the steps nearby. “I realized something today. As silly as it may sound, I guess the whole situation and the will…it made me think about tomorrow and the day after that and every morning and night after. Mark’s right—I’m not exactly getting any younger, and I want to give you everything.”

  “I know,” I murmur, trying to breathe through all the emotions and feelings swelling in my chest.

  “I want to whisper good night when you’re falling asleep beside me and wake up with you curled into me because you’ve kicked off the sheets in the middle of the night but now you need my body heat to keep you warm.”

  “You’re always so damn hot,” I laugh because it’s true.

  He gets so warm during the night that it’s like having a human water bottle beside me.

  “Thanks,” he snickers back. “I do think I’m…pretty fucking sexy.” Running his fingers through his hair, he slicks it back with a wiggle of his brows that sets me off in a fit of schoolgirl giggles. “And that laugh…”

  The air leaves my lungs as his hand slips through the slit of my dress, tracing up my bare thigh to my hip where his fingers knot around the side of my lacy underwear. My breaths shallow with the stutter of my heart and the heat that courses through me from his touch.

  “I want to hear that gorgeous laugh every damn day I have left in this world,” he whispers over my lips, eyes flitting between mine as he pulls me flush to his body.

  Hand roving down to my ass, he drags my panties down with it as he takes us into the shadows of the terrace, tucking us into a walled corner semi-secluded by all the potted topiaries. Kneading my tender flesh with one hand, he kisses me deeply while the other tangles in my hair. When I threaten to slip down the wall, he presses his thigh between my legs, holding me up as he devours my kiss with low groans and sharp inhales.

  Before I can get my wits in check, Garrett’s got my hand laced with his as we race up the stairs and back inside. We manage to navigate the room all the way to the triple-width double doors that lead out toward the cloakroom. I’m calling up our car from the valet at the front desk while he grabs our coats and lets Mark know we’re heading back to the house.

  “Fancy seeing you here,” the cold, familiar voice bites from behind me, and my already racing heart begins to pound harder and harder as I turn slowly to come face-to-face with my living, breathing nightmare.


  There’s a fraction of a second where I cower away from the dark gleam in his eyes. The way they crawl up and down my body makes me shiver. But then it dawns on me that I have nothing to be scared of. If anything, he’s doing me a favor by breaking the terms of the protective order.

  “I was just leaving,” I tell him as I try to put enough distance between us while I walk past him.

  “Listen!” Carl snaps, grabbing my arm hard enough that a whimper escapes me as he hauls me to his side.

  He’s drunk, and the stale smell of cognac clings to his every breath as he inhales at my hair. No matter how hard I try to free myself, his grasp tightens to the point that it feels as though he might snap my bone. And panic begins to set in hard enough that before he can hurt me anymore, I scratch at his face, catching his eye before he blinks it shut. I’m not even sorry as he stumbles back cursing and yelling.

  “No!” I bark at him, shoving him farther away from me with both my hands.

  People stop to stare. That’s all they do—watch on as he comes at me again. Except this time one of the staff from behind the desk jumps between us.

  For once, I’m not the one cowering away. I don’t care who hears all the poison he’s spewing at me.

  “Get the fuck off me!” he spits at the guy holding him at bay as he rams him against the desk, but before he can get to me, Garrett is pulling me behind him, and as much as I would love to let him beat the shit out of Carl again…it’s not worth the implications it would have on him. Or us.

  “Let’s go.” I thread my fingers through his and tug him in the direction of the exit. The onlookers are beginning to feel like a crowd.

  “I warned you last time…” Garrett grits out, taking a step closer as Mark stands in his way.

  “Get the fuck out of my way,” he states so calm and so low that it’s cold and menacing.

  Right now, I see the reckless hothead he’s told me about. All the stories about acting first and thinking later that he’s shared with me and that Mark has joked about don’t seem so out of character when he’s like this. Yet, I still feel safest beside him as I tug and tug at his hand. It’s a pointless task. Garrett doesn’t budge while he stands waiting for Mark to do as he asked.

  This is bad. This is worse than that first time Carl showed up the ranch.

  Grasping his bicep, I tell him, “Let’s go, Doc. Please, honey, let’s get out of here.”

  “Listen to her,” Mark says, calmly taking a step forward and turning him toward the exit. “Think of the bigger picture. It’s not just you or her…think of Iris.”

  Relief floods through me as he manages to get Garrett to move, the standoff coming to an abrupt end as the security that the front desk called for finally arrives and tries to herd Carl away.

  “This isn’t over!” he spits as we walk past him, and if it wasn’t for Mark, he would’ve been flat out on his back from the look on Garrett’s face. “You can’t take what’s mine, farmhand.”

  “Shut up, Carl.” I spin so fast that I almost stumble. “And stay the hell away from me and my daughter, or so help me God…”

  “Or what?”

  “You come near us one more time and you won’t ever see the light of day again.”

  “Are you going to send your farm boy for me, Avery? Is that why you’re fucking him?”

  “I’ll kill you myself!” All the anger and frustration that keeps coming and going and beating at the dam I’ve built inside me bursts through in one yell that reverberates around us.

  Tears cloud my vision as it continues echoing inside me. My own shrill voice ricochets in my eardrums and around my chest. The words keep swelling in my throat as I stand paralyzed by my fury. “I wish you were dead and buried in the dirt. It’s not me that’s the waste, it’s you. It’s always been you.”

  “Careful…”

  “Or what? Are you going to beat me again?” I ask, barely above a whisper.

  “You’re not worth it anymore.” A manic laugh pushes past his lips, and before I can say anything else, Mike ushers me toward the exit. “He’s got what’s coming to him, doll. That son of a bitch has run out of lives.”

  “That bastard will get you too! You’ll see!” Carl continues shouting behind us. “You’ll regret this!”

  I have no idea what he’s talking about as we make it outside, but when I look back, people are starting to walk away. The ones in their tuxedos and cocktail dresses head back toward the party, and the others go about their evenings.

  “What a cocksucker.” Charlie blows out a breath beside me, Garrett’s and my coats thrown over one of her forearms as she links her other arm with mine.

  It’s so strange the way it all happened so quickly and out of nowhere, and just as fast, it escalated and is done. Over.

  “How did he get in? I took him off the membership yesterday. Why was he here?”

  “I don’t know, but he’s clearly not fucking missing,” Charlie grits out as the cars we came in pull up and the valet opens the doors for us.

  “You doing okay, doll?” Mike asks as Garrett takes me from him, the hardened expression on his face still in place. “I don’t know what shit he was saying, but that man is a lousy drunk that’s lost touch with reality. He doesn’t know his ass from his crown. Don’t believe any of his crap, Avery.”

  “I’m fine,” I tell him as Garrett helps me into the car.

  Something is off. He’s pulling away like he did that first time Carl showed up at the ranch.

  “What was he telling you?” Mike asks, peering into the back of the town car. “You know this is what you needed. People to see how crazy he is…”

  I nod because my head is still going around in circles. It’s all a chaotic whirlwind that is becoming impossible to make heads or tails of. Carl was missing, and now he’s back. And nothing he’s saying makes any sense. Haas was right—he’s lost his mind, and in the process of trying to figure out the mess he embroiled us all in, I feel as though I might be losing mine too.

  “I told you before, stay away from him, and for the love of God, stop sniffing around Haas. The man can’t be trusted. He clearly shouldn’t be practicing given—”

  “Why don’t you back the fuck off?” Garrett snaps, slipping in beside me and taking our coats from Charlie.

  “We’ll see you back at the house. We’ll be right behind you,” she tells us, shutting the door, leaving Garrett and I in the dark.

  The silence that falls around us is a thick smog that settles between us while we cruise through the city, past history-clad buildings and monuments. I focus on the hum of the car and the flickering shadow of the streetlights to stop myself from falling apart.

  But then his hand closes over mine in the seat between us, and when I look at him, Garrett pats his lap with the other hand.

  “Come here,” he rasps.

  The tender sound of his voice draws me to him. I’m like a fish diving back into the ocean. Nothing else matters except my next breath, and it’s only when his arms wrap around me and the sound of his heart thrums in my ear that I can take it. I gulp lungful after lungful of air until my head is spinning and whirring as precariously as the world around me. I’m teetering on the edge of a precipice so tall, and yet, I’m not scared of falling with him holding me.

  “I’m never letting you go, Avery,” he breathes into my hair, and I melt into him. “I’m not sharing you with him in any way. You’re mine, sweetheart, and I’m done waiting for the stars to align and for the pieces to fall into place. I want him out of our life for good because if I see his face again…”

  “I know,” I exhale. “I know.”

  “No, baby, you don’t. You have no idea all the things that crossed my mind tonight, and you don’t want to know because they’re dark and it’s not me. I’m not that person that thinks of taking another person’s life. That’s not who I am, but I swear to Christ that if I see his face again…” Pausing, Garrett closes his eyes, and the pain etched on his face stabs through me.

 
; “I don’t know what more I can do. It’s out of my hands, Garrett. You know how this works. If he’s not willing to sign the papers, we have to wait for a hearing. My hands are tied!”

  “He’s going to taunt you till the end.”

  “That’s his game. He’ll beat you down, bait and barb you until you question everything you’ve ever known about yourself. Everything you are. He’ll make you doubt the people around you that care until you’re all alone.”

  There’s no one on this earth that knows that better than I do. I spent eight years married to him. Stuck in his vicious game. Believing that I was the problem. That I wasn’t good enough. I pushed people away thinking that it would make me worthy of his affection. That maybe he would realize I wasn’t a shitty wife.

  Not anymore.

  Holding on to Garrett tighter, I burrow into his chest, and even when the car comes to a stop, I don’t move. I don’t let go.

  “You’re not alone anymore,” he whispers, cupping my head to his chest. “And you’ll never be alone ever again. Like I said, I’m not letting you go.”

  “He doesn’t get to win this time. He doesn’t get to walk away unpunished.”

  Garrett doesn’t reply. He says nothing as he kisses the top of my head and takes a deep inhale. I wish I knew what is going through his head, what he thinks he’s protecting me from, and I wish I could protect him from the past that refuses to let me go.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  GARRETT

  The house is not what I expected. It’s a mini mansion with a homey feel to it from all the photos dotted around and solid furnishings that look as though they’ve spanned years of changing tastes and styles rather than all being picked out from the same set. The checkerboard marble floors and high ceilings with intricate moldings are everything you would expect from immeasurable affluence. Something that Avery doesn’t give off with her quiet and amiable nature.