Beautiful One

by Mary Cope

  Spencer’s soft, grey eyes met mine and saved me from the embarrassment of what could have been. He reached his hand to mine but I pulled it away. His fleeting expression went from concern to pain in an instant.

  I took a few deep breaths and walked to the mic.

  I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

  My emotions were all over the place. I needed to focus and get through this. The music began. I reached down from the depths of my soul and put every bit of what I was feeling into each note. I had never sung like this before. Something changed within me as I belted out the song.

  When I finished, I opened my eyes to Kara fervently applauding, and I could see the look of awe in the faces of Jake and Matt. Spencer caught my eye, then I whispered into the mic.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Feeling overwhelmed with the need to escape, I made my way to the bathroom. I splashed some cool water on my face and heard a gentle tapping on the door. Gathering all the strength within me I answered, “I’ll be right out.”

  I patted my face dry and opened the door. To my disappointment, it was Mason.

  “Hey, are you okay? Spencer asked me to check on you.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Liz, that was amazing.”

  Mason was proud of me, and in the haze of my mixed-up emotions, it felt good. I plastered on a fake smile as we walked back to the stage together.

  “You’ve got some awesome pipes.” Mason nudged me, shoulder to shoulder.

  “Thanks.” I smiled, but this time the smile was real.

  ****

  I had no idea how I made it through the church service. Everything was a blur until I realized it was over. During the whole performance, I hadn’t once looked at Spencer. He directed me, and I would obediently comply, but I never made eye contact.

  When I exited the stage, my only thought was I wanted out as soon as possible. I dashed to the music room and grabbed my purse, pulled the keys from my bag, and quickly made my way down the long hallway. My beating heart and the jingling of my keys was all I could hear as my steps quickened. My eyes focused on the exit sign, knowing freedom was steps away. I was just about to push through the door when I heard Spencer call my name. Pretending not to hear him, I pushed myself through the door.

  The second my feet hit the pavement, I ran to my car. My trembling hand shoved the key in the ignition, and I made my way out of the parking lot toward the street. When I glanced in my rearview mirror, the last thing I saw was Spencer’s confused face darting around the parking lot. I breathed a sigh of relief watching his image slip farther and farther away.

  ****

  As soon as I walked in the door, I texted Aidan. I needed to see him, to reassure myself of the feelings I had for him. This infatuation for Spencer was foolish. I wanted to put it in a box, bury it, and not let it seep out.

  Me: What time are you off today?

  Aidan: 1

  Me: Feel like going on a run? We can have lunch after?

  Aidan: Okay. Be there soon.

  ****

  It was warm outside, so I decided to wear black yoga shorts and a white tank top. I tied up my laces as Maggie entered my room. She sniffed my shoes and started jumping around.

  “Not today, girl.”

  I gave her a few kisses and coaxed her to come up on my bed. She curled up next to me, and I cuddled in her soft fur as I thought about the last twenty-four hours.

  Spencer… Kara… Aidan…

  My eyes closed, and I felt myself drift off. It seemed like only a few minutes had passed when I was jolted awake by the feel of a warm chest and strong arms spooning around me. Maggie jumped off the bed and Aidan snuggled in close.

  “This is my favorite place to be.” His sultry words whispered in my ear while he nuzzled my neck.

  I stuffed down the visual of Spencer and Kara still lingering in my brain. “Hi,” I sleepily whispered.

  “Are you sure you want to go for a run? We could just stay here all day.” Aidan grinned.

  “I’m not sure my parents would approve.”

  “Your mom loves me.”

  “True, but I don’t think my dad would like it. C’mon let’s get moving.”

  I gave him a quick kiss and sat up on the bed. Aidan sat up as Mason entered my room.

  “Hey, Aidan.”

  “Hi, Mason,” Aidan answered.

  “Why’d you bolt out of church, Liz? Spencer wanted to talk to you.”

  “About what?”

  “He didn’t say. He mentioned you sounded amazing. And Kara, she kept going on and on about how good you were.”

  I glanced over to Aidan, and he had a quizzical look on his face. “Liz, did you solo again?”

  “Spencer’s making me.”

  “Making you?”

  “I hate it, Aidan. I only do it because I have too.”

  “Oh, he did mention Wednesday. He wanted to make sure you’d be there.” Mason said, exiting my room.

  “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

  “What’s Wednesday?” Aidan questioned.

  “Oh, that’s just the night we practice.” I shrugged it off, hoping he thought we meant everyone. I got up and changed the subject.

  “We’d better get going. I forgot you guys were playing tonight.”

  Aidan stood and glanced at my outfit. “Those are pretty short.”

  I tried to make light of his comment. “Well, enjoy the view because you’ll be looking at it the whole time.”

  “Oh?” He lifted an eyebrow.

  I gave him a smile before I took off running down the stairs with Aidan trailing behind me.

  ****

  When we jogged past Spencer’s house, I wondered what he and Kara were doing, but dismissed the thought as quickly as it entered my mind.

  Running alongside the creek bed, Aidan and I were laughing and having a great time.

  A couple of guys I recognized from jogging the trail made eye contact with me and said, “Hi.”

  I smiled and returned the greeting, not thinking it was a big deal. A few minutes later, a lone jogger ran past, checking me out. I glanced at Aidan. He was quiet, impassive as we continued on our way. We kept running at an even pace until he had to stop and tie his shoe. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I kept running. A couple of guys on bikes whistled at me. I felt my nerves get the best of me when one of them pulled off to the side to chat.

  “How’s it going?” he asked.

  “Goo-ood.” My answer came out long and slow. I glanced back at Aidan, who was now rising to his feet. “Umm, I have a boyfriend. He’s back there.” I pointed toward Aidan, who was starting to jog toward us.

  “Well, that’s too bad.” He smiled and rode away. Aidan scowled at him when he peddled past. Knowing this exchange could trigger Aidan’s temper, I waited until he caught up.

  “What’d the guy want?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Answer me,” he said tightly.

  “He just wanted to talk, that’s all.” I started to jog, hoping we could get past this without a fight.

  “Does that happen a lot?” Aidan and I were jogging in sync.

  “No.”

  “I find that hard to believe. Every guy that has run past us has checked out your butt. I don’t want you jogging here anymore.” He snapped.

  “What?” I stopped, stunned. “You don’t want me jogging here anymore?”

  “No, not if you’re going to be hit on by every guy that passes you.” Aidan’s lips were pressed in a thin angry line.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “Am I? Or do you like the attention?”

  “You’re acting crazy.” Unwilling to listen to his nonsense, I started to jog away.

  “I’m not done talkin’ to you.”

  My leisurely jog transitioned into a race to get away from him. With each hurried step, I focused on the glimmering Pacific in the distance. The pounding of Aidan’s feet was catching up to me, so I ran faster. The
sand was in sight, but before I could make it there, his arm reached out and grabbed me. He squeezed my arm tight and swung me around, but I broke free. My feet hit the sand, and I ran a few more feet before he caught me again and crushed his body into mine. I struggled to break free, but he was too strong.

  “Aidan, stop it! You’re scaring me!” I screamed.

  He instantly let me go. I stepped away from him and hunched over, trying to catch my breath. My knees sunk into the sand. Fear replaced anger and brought tears to my eyes. Aidan was at my side in seconds, rocking me back and forth whispering he was sorry. I pushed him back, but he was determined to hold me. I didn’t have the strength to move, so I gave up and continued to sob into his damp t-shirt. He covered my face with kisses and whispered over and over again how sorry he was. Eventually my tears subsided, and my breathing calmed. Aidan cradled my face with his hands and searched my despondent eyes.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was being an idiot. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he mumbled. After several silent minutes, Aidan whispered, “Say something.”

  Still trying to absorb everything, I sat up and noticed the apprehension that covered his face. I thought back on all the conversations we’d had about his mother and how he’d grown up, bouncing from home to home, step-mom to step-mom. He’d always had his father, but what little I knew of Aidan’s dad was that of a selfish man.

  In the moments that passed, I realized the self-assured Aidan Mitchell was wrapped up in an emotional blanket of anger and pain. I felt myself on the precipice. Do I walk away or try to make us work? There was good in him. I knew there was. Aidan’s guarded expression was apologetic and full of regret. He continued to scrutinize my face. Finally, I took a deep breath and whispered, “It’s okay.”

  Aidan breathed a sigh of relief and held me close to his chest, “I’m trying… you know that right?”

  When I glanced up and looked into his eyes, they seemed genuine and sincere. I nodded in response to his question, then he bent down and kissed my lips.

  He wanted to change… I knew he did. Aidan was trying… it was just going to take time. As I continued to search his face, I realized I was willing to give him that… and truly, what more could I could ask of him?

  ****

  Melissa and I sat at our usual table while the guys brought in their gear and set up. The regulars were milling around and, of course, the cute brunette… she seemed to have a usual table too.

  Aidan had been more attentive than necessary, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by the inquisitive Melissa. “What’s with the pretty boy?”

  “He’s just being more amazing than usual.”

  “Cut the crap. He seems all nervous and awkward around you. Did something happen?”

  I felt vulnerable, and the truth was I wanted to talk to her about what had happened. I glanced up to the stage to see where Aidan was and leaned in closer to Melissa. “Today, while we were jogging, some guy came on to me, and Aidan freaked out.”

  “What do you mean by freaked out?” She eyed me with caution. “Did he fight the guy… or… hurt you?”

  “No… no.” My mind flashed to Aidan’s firm grip on my arm, but I dismissed it. “He was just jealous, like that night in the bar.”

  I could see anger beginning to surface in her eyes. “And…?”

  “I think he still feels bad. That’s why he’s acting the way he is.”

  Melissa leaned back in her chair, her eyes still on mine. “I’m glad he feels bad, but he’s still doing it. You said you wouldn’t put up with it… and here you are.”

  I could hear the skepticism in her tone.

  “How many chances are you going to give him?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What if he loses it again?” Melissa glanced at Aidan and back to me.

  I was silent while I contemplated her question. Over the past few hours, I had asked myself the same thing at least twenty times. I was willing to give Aidan time to change, but if he freaked out like that again, I just didn’t know. Hearing Melissa ask me brought the definitive answer I had been searching for. With certainty I knew.

  “I would break up with him.” I stared into Melissa’s eyes with such assurance that her body relaxed as she breathed a sigh of relief.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Holy crap! Ninety-five bucks a piece?” Aidan glanced at the poster and shook his head.

  “I can pay for my ticket, Aidan.”

  “No, no. Of course I’m paying for you. It’s just crazy how pricy it is.” Aidan kissed the top of my head as we walked down the locker-covered hallway.

  “Well, it is prom. It’s always a rip-off,” I shrugged.

  “True. At least I get to see you dressed up. It’ll be worth it.” Aidan smiled and held my hand while we walked to the office to buy our tickets. He stuffed the tickets in his wallet and walked me through the school to the parking lot. I unlocked my car door, got inside, and started it up.

  “So, I’ll see you later? Movie night at my house?” Aidan bent down so we were eye to eye through my open window.

  “Yep, I’ll be over in a few hours.” I leaned my head out and kissed him goodbye.

  ****

  On my way to Aidan’s, I couldn’t help but look at Spencer’s house. I pulled off next to the curb and parked my car.

  Is he lounging on the couch? Is he singing at the piano or playing the guitar?

  Now it seemed my imagination was getting the best of me. Each time I thought of Spencer, I thought of Kara. I imagined him telling her everything, singing to her, laughing with her, and kissing her. I was surprised at how much my thoughts pained me. Deep down I knew he was entitled to be happy and have someone. I just hated how much it bothered me.

  ****

  “What’s wrong, Liz? You’ve been out of it since the movie started.” Aidan pulled me in close as the credits started to roll. He grabbed the remote and clicked off the TV.

  “I’m just tired.” I snuggled in next to him and breathed in his fresh scent.

  “Come here,” Aidan said while he lay back on the couch and pulled me onto his chest.

  Spencer kept creeping in, and I hated myself for it. In an attempt to distract the direction of my thoughts, I crawled up Aidan’s body and kissed him teasingly, allowing my tongue to taste his as our kiss deepened into more. Hopeful to lose myself in him, I ran my hands under his t-shirt and pressed my body firmly against his. His hands cupped my backside while he peppered my neck with nips and kisses. I felt a few of his fingers lightly trail under the waistband of my underwear as he brought his lips back to mine. Aidan pulled back. His heated gaze roamed my face. He looked at me with such passion I knew my eyes mirrored the same.

  “My dad and Natalie are still up. Do you want to go in my room?” His words came out slow and seductive.

  Everything within my body screamed to keep going, but my head said Stop! I knew if I didn’t get up and go home, we’d end up doing something I would regret. I took a deep breath and sat back up.

  “No, Aidan, we shouldn’t,” I breathlessly whispered.

  “I love you, Liz,” Aidan said and he kissed me again. I peered up at him through my long dark lashes. He pulled back. His eyes narrowed while he studied my face. “That’s the second time I’ve told you that, and you haven’t said anything.”

  “I…” But before I could respond, a burst of light from the kitchen distracted me. It was Natalie, and she glanced into the family room.

  “Oh don’t mind me. I just need a glass of water.” Aidan rolled his eyes and got up, extending a hand to help me. Together we silently walked outside. Aidan leaned against my car and pulled me toward him.

  “Well?” His gaze met mine.

  “I care about you.”

  “Care about me? What does that even mean? I love you and you care about me? Oh, that’s just perfect!” He huffed.

  “Aidan, I…”

  “I haven’t looked at another girl since we’ve been together. His
anger rose as he interrupted me.

  I stepped back.

  He began pacing back and forth.

  “You’ve asked me to work on my jealousy. I’m working on my jealousy. You wanted to take it slow, and we’re taking it slow. Ten minutes ago, you were all over me. Then you tell me we should stop, so we stopped. I’m trying here, Liz! I just don’t know what you want from me.” Aidan stopped in front of me with his arms folded. The frustration on his face was evident.

  I rubbed his arm in an attempt to apologize. “Aidan, I… I love you’re doing all this for me.” His arms were tense but I continued to rub my hand back and forth. “I just… I don’t know. We’ve only been together a few months. I just can’t say it. Not yet.” I pulled his arms down and moved in close wrapping my arms around him. “You’re special to me. So special.” I squeezed him tight. “I’m just not ready to say that, but you mean so much to me… you do.”

  After a few minutes, his rigid body became slack, and he hugged me back.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t said it yet. Please don’t be mad at me.” I stood on my tiptoes so I could kiss his cheek. “Are we okay?”

  Aidan breathed out and said, “Yes,” then kissed the top of my head. He stepped back so he could look me in the eye. “Ya know what’s so ironic? Girls have tossed those words around to me, and I thought nothing of it, and the only girl I want to hear it from won’t say it.”

  “No, it just means when I do say those words, I’ll mean it from the depths of my soul.”

  Aidan leaned his forehead against mine. “I guess that’ll be worth the wait then.” He smiled and grabbed my car door and opened it. “So, will I see you tomorrow?”