Beautiful One

by Mary Cope

  Not wanting to look at the dress anymore, I fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

  “I know it seems like the end of the world right now, but eventually you’ll feel better. About Aidan, the prom… it just takes time.”

  “I know, Mom.” I exhaled.

  We were silent for a long time. Eventually, we both got up, and Mom hugged me again. “My baby girl,” she whispered. “You’re all grown up now. I’m so proud of you, Liz, and I love you so much.”

  “I love you too,” I said. Mom kissed my cheek and then left my room.

  I rose from the bed and stared at my dress one last time before I removed it and placed it deep within my closet.

  ****

  The music drifting up into my bedroom told me the guys were practicing. Mason had let me know Aidan wasn’t leaving the band until the end of the summer, so I figured he would be there. In an attempt to get over the awkwardness and make peace with our situation, I decided to go downstairs and sit in on a few of their songs, hoping we could get past the anger and hurt and move forward.

  My heart was pounding as I stood at the hallway door that led into the garage.

  What am I going to do? Just go in there and sit down like everything is normal?

  Instead, I pushed through the front door and headed to my car, like I was on a mission. I opened the back door and looked around the back seat like I was desperate to find something. When I felt like enough time had passed, I casually walked from my car up the driveway to the open garage door. I knew it was a cowardly way to approach Aidan, but if it worked, it worked.

  It didn’t.

  The smirk on Aidan’s face assured me he’d seen right through my feeble attempt to fake him out. Certain my cheeks were red, I avoided eye contact with him and plopped down on the couch. When the guys finished their set, Mason approached me.

  “Wanna sing?” His bright eyes looked hopeful.

  I glanced at the guys. Aidan still had that smug look on his face. I responded yes before I’d even thought about it. Aidan’s expression went from arrogant to stunned within seconds.

  Mason seemed surprised. “Okay, then.” He smiled at me and then turned to Kyle. “Grab the lyrics to the new song.”

  Kyle picked up his spiral binder and approached me. “Here ya go, Liz. Look this over, and then we’ll run through it.”

  My head was beginning to spin. What was I thinking? While glancing over the lyrics, I noticed Mason was on his cell phone.

  “Yep, she wants to. I know… okay, great… see ya in a few.”

  I placed the binder on the couch and met Mason as he picked up his guitar. “Who were you talking to?” My voice was just above a whisper.

  Mason answered me in his regular tone — loud — and everyone heard him. Everyone.

  “Spencer. He’ll be over in a few minutes.”

  I glanced at Aidan. His eyes were ice cold. He stepped away from the guys while I made my way back to the couch and sat down. Aidan sat next to me as his lips brushed against my ear.

  “Well, isn’t this going to be fun?” he icily whispered.

  My attempt to make things better was backfiring. This was not what I wanted. I placed my hand on Aidan’s leg in an attempt to calm him.

  “Aidan, please,” I whispered.

  He opened his mouth to say something, but the roar of a motorcycle silenced him. He turned his gaze from me toward the rider.

  Spencer got off the bike, took off his helmet, and placed it atop the sleek seat. He raked his hand through his hair while he confidently walked into the garage. He gave me a warm smile. His eyes drifted from my face to my hand, still on Aidan’s leg. His smile faded, and he turned away from me as Mason approached him.

  “You’ve met Derek and Kyle.” Mason motioned to the guys.

  Derek gave him a head nod from behind his drums. Kyle was more respectable. He made his way to Spencer and shook his hand.

  Then Mason turned toward Aidan. “I don’t think you’ve met Aidan yet.”

  Aidan stood, eye to eye with Spencer. Mason broke through their alpha moment with an awkward introduction.

  “Aidan, Spencer. Spencer, Aidan.”

  Spencer extended his hand first. Aidan, with an arrogant look on his face, shook it. My brother must have felt the tension between the two. Without missing a beat, he grabbed his guitar and gave it to Spencer.

  “Here ya go.”

  Spencer released Aidan’s hand to grab the guitar.

  Mason turned to Aidan. “Let’s start on ‘Feel Again’ while they both get up to speed on the new song.” Aidan picked up his bass and scowled at Spencer before he started to play.

  Mason grabbed the music sheets for the new song and handed them to Spencer.

  “Elizabeth.” He smiled. “You surprised me, I thought you were going to fight me every step of the way.” Spencer sat on the couch and moved in close. “Let me take a look at those lyrics.” He reached across my lap to grab the spiral binder. Goose bumps rose on my skin from being so close to him.

  I didn’t have to look up to know Aidan was watching us. I could feel his intense gaze burning into me. Spencer glanced over the sheet music and then back to the lyrics. He started to hum the song. My heartbeat began to increase when his humming turned into words. Hearing Spencer sing with the accompaniment of his guitar or the piano was amazing, but hearing him sing a cappella was beyond sexy. I felt myself getting lost in the moment until I heard a loud cough. My eyes shifted from the soft grey gaze of Spencer to a fiery blue that was Aidan.

  Spencer stopped singing and handed me back the lyrics. “Now it’s your turn.” He picked up the guitar and glanced at Aidan. “Let’s practice out here.” He motioned to the front yard.

  I was more than happy to follow him. I wanted to get away from the daggers Aidan was shooting at me.

  Spencer sat cross-legged on the grass. I sat down in front of him, mirroring his image. He began strumming the guitar, glancing at the music notes every now and then. He strummed through the song several times while I read over the words. When I glanced inside the garage, Aidan was still focused on us with such disdain it made my insides tremble.

  Whenever Spencer’s eyes were on the music notes, my eyes were on Spencer. He was so handsome it was hard to look away. His beautiful eye color, long dark lashes, perfect face, and sculpted jaw. My hands ached to reach up and feel the rough stubble. I admired the way his forearm flexed as he played, the way his tattoos moved. I thought back on when I’d run my fingertip over the fine detail, and I had an overwhelming urge to do it again.

  In an effort to shut out the desire that filled me, I closed my eyes and continued to sing. Spencer’s soulful voice joined me in the chorus, so seductive and smooth. My thoughts went from the perfection of his voice to his heart. Selfless and sweet, encouraging and kind, tender yet strong. What a good, good man.

  A series of images went through my mind. The day we’d met in the music room. The instant attraction I’d felt for him. After the dog attack, when I’d cried on his shoulder, the comfort he’d given me. Football in the park, dinner at Donny’s, our many nights together alone, singing and laughing. His kindness and encouraging words that had always soothed me. The dedication he’d willed me to better myself and become more.

  The feelings I had buried were now uncovered and raw. I couldn’t suppress them any longer. In that moment I realized why I could never say the words that Aidan had longed to hear. My heart had been elsewhere. It had always been with Spencer. I was in love with him. I finally allowed myself to feel the love that I had tried so hard to push away. But, it was too late. Kara was in his life now. He deserved happiness, and I wasn’t going to get in the way of that, no matter how much I wanted him.

  When I opened my eyes, Spencer’s eyes were on mine.

  “You okay?” He stopped playing and studied me. The concern on his face made my heart ache.

  I realized a tear had fallen from my cheek. I was able to shake it off like it was nothing. I took a de
ep breath and smiled. “I’m fine.”

  Spencer glanced toward the garage. “I think your boyfriend might have a problem with me. He hasn’t taken his eyes off us since we’ve been out here.”

  “He’s not… he’ll be fine.” I was going to confess to Spencer that Aidan and I weren’t together anymore, but I stopped. Somehow, I thought if he still assumed I had a boyfriend, it would make things easier on me.

  “I don’t know about that. He looks like he wants to kill me.” Spencer’s eyes shifted from mine to the open garage.

  “Don’t worry about him. I think I’m ready now.”

  Spencer gave me a warm smile and reached out a hand to help me up. Without thinking, I leaned over and brushed some grass clippings off his thigh. On our way to the garage, my eyes met Aidan’s, and I thought he was going to erupt.

  Mason was finishing up one of the band’s original songs when we entered the garage.

  “Over here, Liz.” He gestured to the makeshift stage.

  Upon entering the garage, I could feel Aidan’s anger radiated toward Spencer.

  Spencer stood a few feet in front of me. Mason’s eyes met mine. “Ready?”

  I nodded in response. Mason lifted a finger for Derek to begin.

  Derek started tapping out the song, followed by Kyle on the keyboard. Mason, Spencer, and Aidan all came in at the same time. Then I began. I thought I would be nervous, but Spencer’s warm eyes and smile reassured me. I held the spiral binder and belted out the song. Spencer came in on the chorus. Mason held up his hand and stopped playing.

  “Hold up. Hold up.”

  Everyone stopped. I heard a deep, loud sigh come from Aidan.

  “Spencer, remember it’s a duet.” Mason reached out for the binder, and I handed it to him.

  “See?” He pointed to each of the paragraphs on the page.

  “Alright, I got it.”

  Mason had me move next to Spencer. Mason motioned to Derek to start again, and everyone else joined in.

  While I sang, I made a conscious effort to avoid eye contact with Aidan. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to get lost in the music, the emotions I had stirring inside me, my love for Spencer, and the loss of Aidan. I used how I felt to fuel the powerful voice within me.

  When I finished the song and opened my eyes, I glanced at Aidan. His expression was not what I expected. So I held his gaze. I thought I would see his wrath, but instead I saw the smile that used to melt my heart. There was softness in his eyes I hadn’t seen in what seemed like forever. In those few moments, I saw the boy I had cared for, laughed with. Who’d made me feel special.

  Derek’s boisterous voice brought me out of my sweet memory.

  “For crying out loud, Lizzie, that was awesome!” He jumped up from behind his drums, picked me up, and gave me a bone-crushing squeeze. “Just awesome!”

  “You’re hurting me.” I squeaked out.

  “Oops. Sorry.” He gently put me down. “You were just so good. You too, Spencer.”

  I glanced at Spencer, and he softly laughed.

  Mason leaned in and whispered, “Good goin’, Liz.” He kissed my forehead.

  Kyle gave me a warm smile from his keyboard and mouthed “Good job.”

  When I glanced at Spencer again, he winked. My eyes met Aidan’s as he approached me.

  “You were amazing.” I met his gaze. His expression seemed pained yet proud.

  “Thank you, Aidan.”

  He stepped back and picked up his bass.

  Spencer approached me, leaned in close, and whispered, “Be proud… beautiful one.”

  My heart rate spiked as he brushed past me, and his words trailed off.

  Mason turned toward me, raised an eyebrow, and asked, “Again?”

  I surprised myself when I laughed a little and said, “Okay.”

  An hour later, we had sung through the song four times, and it had actually been fun. Kyle grabbed a few water bottles from the garage fridge and tossed them around. Aidan was holding a full bottle but put his hand up for Kyle to toss him another. When he had two bottles in his hand, Aidan walked toward me and handed me one. He glanced at Spencer, who was sitting on the couch engaged in a conversation with Mason.

  “I need to take off, but will you walk with me?” Aidan’s eyes widened, waiting for my answer.

  “Sure.”

  As we exited the garage together, I opened my bottle and took a sip then screwed the top back on.

  When we arrived at his truck, Aidan opened the driver side door and tossed his water bottle on the passenger seat. He stood facing me with his back to the garage, while I began to peel back the paper on my bottle.

  “I got accepted to UC Santa Barbara.”

  I looked up from peeling the paper. His words made me smile.

  “I know. Mason told me. I’m so happy for you, Aidan.”

  “When I found out, I wanted to tell you so bad… but…”

  “I know.” Instinctively, I reached out and rubbed his arm.

  “If you hadn’t helped me figure out calculus…”

  “No, Aidan, you did it. Not me.”

  “Well, for what it’s worth, I just wanted to thank you.”

  Aidan started to move in for a hug. I was tempted to resist him, until I realized this was his attempt at making peace between us. I stepped into his grasp and relished the familiarity of being wrapped in his arms. The feeling was bittersweet. I think in that moment, Aidan realized things were over between us, and there was no going back. I held him close and inhaled deeply. I knew this was the last time I would hold him and smell his fresh scent. I stepped back and looked at his face as the setting sun cast highlights against his soft hair.

  “You’re welcome, Aidan.”

  Our moment was interrupted when the sound of Spencer’s bike started up. I backed away from Aidan in time to see his unreadable expression before he put on his helmet and rode away.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Mason’s voice woke me. “It’s almost time for dinner.” He walked closer to my bed, but I didn’t budge. The bed dipped down where Mason sat. I stretched my arms above my head and yawned. I had been sleeping more than usual. I was mentally drained. Sleep seemed to be the only thing that freed my thoughts.

  When my eyes adjusted, I looked at Mason. He seemed to be deep in thought, regarding me speculatively.

  “What?”

  Mason held something in his hand. “Aidan wanted me to give you this.” He handed me an envelope.

  I sat up in my bed, glanced at Mason, and ripped open the envelope.

  “Do you want some privacy?” he asked.

  “No, it’s okay.” I pulled out a handwritten note on lined notebook paper.

  Dear Liz,

  This belongs to you.

  The choice is yours.

  Aidan

  Out from the folded paper dropped my prom ticket.

  “Is he going?” I asked.

  Mason shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. He only said he wanted you to have it.”

  My mom’s voice beckoned up the stairs and summoned us for dinner.

  “You’ve got twenty-four hours to think about what you want to do.”

  “I know.” I read the ticket one more time before I placed it on my bookcase and went downstairs for dinner.

  ****

  No regrets.

  That was the first thing that came to mind as I stared at my prom dress which now lay draped across my bed. The second thing that came to mind was Mrs. Chapman. I walked toward the small white canvas and the unopened pack of watercolors that sat proudly on my bookcase. I reached up and read the inscription on the back of the canvas, allowing my fingers to skim across the shaky black script.

  Sweet Elizabeth,

  My life is near its end and yours is just beginning.

  A blank canvas of life is before you.

  Remember my words and use every color.

  Love, Barbara

  I placed the canvas back and smiled, knowing she wo
uld have been proud of me. Good or bad, I had made the decision to go to my prom. I took a deep breath, picked up my dress, and hung it on the doorjamb of my closet. I applied the finishing touches of my make-up.

  The shrill of my mom and Melissa squealing downstairs wafted up into my bedroom. They were so similar it was frightening. I was in the process of shimmying the dress on when Melissa burst through my door.

  “C’mon, Liz, time for pictures.” She beamed. Melissa motioned for me to turn around and then zipped up the back of my dress. “I’m so glad you’re going.” She hugged me as we walked out of my room to the waiting paparazzi of my parents below.

  ****

  A parade of busses lined the school parking lot. I stood between Melissa and Mason while we slowly moved along, inching our way toward the check-in table. Once we were on the bus, the feeling of humiliation set in. Everyone was paired up. Too bad parking at the prom site was limited. If we could have driven ourselves, I wouldn’t feel so exposed. I sat in the first empty seat I came to. Melissa sat in next to me, and Mason squished in beside her.

  “You guys, they’re not gonna let you sit here,” I protested.

  Mason gave me a wink. “Don’t worry about it, Liz, I’ll handle this.” He rarely used his good looks and charm to get away with things, but I guess he felt he’d pull out the big guns to help out his pathetic dateless sister.

  With clipboard in hand, Ms. Dunbar approached us as she checked off each student in his or her designated seat. She glanced at the three of us, Mason gave her his best smile. He reached out and said something to her. But with the hum of the motor and the chatter that echoed throughout the bus, the only thing I heard was her response to him. “Nice try.”

  Mason leaned in and whispered. “She never liked me anyway.” He smirked.

  “Listen, I’m fine. You guys can just sit over there.” I pointed to a couple of empty seats a few rows back.

  “No, you’re not sitting alone, Liz.” Melissa started to say something to Mason while she motioned to the seats toward the back of the bus.