by Wood, Lauren
I stared at the picture for a while and I did nothing else. All of the memories I had with her started to flood back, no matter how hard I tried to stop it. I remembered too much and there was a moment that I questioned everything. What would have happened if I would have stayed back and been with her? My football career was okay, but it wasn’t enough to get me into professional. I still ended up working at my father’s company like I always knew I would. There had been big ideas of fame in football, but it never happened. I got my fame and fortune in business, much like it was predestined to be.
Scrolling through her posts and pages of information, I was surprised how open she was about everything. She worked at a youth shelter. I wasn’t sure what that was, but I imagined that it was linked to some kind of social work job. It didn’t pay much in the public sector, but that didn’t surprise me. Kendra had always wanted to help people and it seemed like she had found who it was she wanted to help.
It also occurred to me that she was still the sweet girl that I once knew. I had broken her heart and I knew that. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I had. She loved me and I loved her, though I never said it. I had said everything but that. I even let it slip once and then changed it to tell her that I loved being inside of her. It was a cop out and one that I regretted now. Kendra had a right to know how I felt about her.
I made the decision to contact her. We weren’t connected, so I had to ask her to connect and then wait. It was a long wait and there was only space for a sentence to be sent with the request. I closed the app on my phone and waited for a long time. It was actually only ten minutes when I opened it back up and checked to make sure that the notifications was on. I didn’t want to miss anything from her, no matter what time it was. I thought she would have responded by now.
Going to bed, I was thinking about Kendra and what I had picked up from her timeline. It looked like she was single, though there were a few pictures with her and another man. It didn’t have the most romantic feel to it, but I didn’t know what to think. Her status was unclear and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I wanted her to be single. Then I would be able to get a second chance. I hadn’t thought about it, but damn Bobby and that stupid grin of his. It was irritating to no end, but at the end of the day I wanted to be as happy as he was. I was only truly happy when I was with Kendra. She had made me feel different than any other girl I had ever known. Now my life was filled with gorgeous women, but it was an empty sensation when I went home at night. None of them were enough compared to Kendra.
It took almost a week before I got a notification from Kendra. Every morning, noon and night I was checking the app, but nothing. When I finally did get a notification, it was not at all the one I was looking for. Kendra had refused my friend’s request and now I couldn’t even play through all of the ways I was going to win her over. I felt like for once I had failed miserably.
Why didn’t she at least want to talk and catch up? It didn’t make sense to me. She still wasn’t mad, was she?
I sent the request out again, trying to connect with her, with a different sentence. I hoped that this time I would get her attention, but I wasn’t sure if that was going to happen. I had a feeling that I had hurt her more than I ever could have realized.
Peggy came in with my coffee and asked me what was the matter with me. “You got that sourpuss look on your face.”
“Nothing, why?”
“You look sad Dennis. Did you have some bad news come in?”
Peggy had worked for me for several years now and she knew me too well. She also didn’t get the whole point of giving space either, but I had gotten used to that side of her. The woman cared, but right now I just wanted to be left alone with my thoughts.
“Yes, I got some bad news.”
“Well Sir, you always turn it around somehow. I am sure you will this time.”
“I made a mistake many years ago and I don’t know if I can turn it around.”
She waved me off as she was walking out of the office. “I have seen you do the impossible. I am sure whatever it is, you will figure it out soon enough. You are a hard person to say no to Dennis.”
Peggy left and I was left thinking of what she said. I was the one that closed the deals. I was a closer. I changed people’s minds and I knew Kendra front and back and everywhere in between. I knew what it was that she wanted and in the end it was the same thing that I wanted. It just took me longer to figure it out.
At the end of the day, I got another denial notification and I can’t say that it was as devastating as before. I was going to take it as a challenge. This is what I did in business to win and I know that it would work just as well on women. Kendra wasn’t that different than all other women I had been with. All women wanted to hear those sweet words that told them how much they were loved. I had never been good at that, but with Kendra it wouldn’t have to be made up. I felt strongly for her and I knew that if she would just give me a chance, I would be able to convince her that we were meant to be together.
I got home and tried again. I was nothing else if I wasn’t persistent. I knew that there was a lot riding on her acceptance, but even as I waited for another denial to my request, I was already thinking about what I could do to change it to a yes. I just needed an angle. That was all life and business was, just finding the right angle.
“I am going to convince you yet Kendra. I should have done it a long time ago. I am not going to rest until you are underneath me, screaming my name once more.”
There was no one in the office to hear me. I made a few calls and tracked her down better. Now I knew where she lived and where she worked. I was not above going there and getting that face to face that Peggy was talking about. How could she say no to me then? No woman was able to. Kendra was going to be no different.
I knew what her weaknesses were and I knew that I was one of them. While she could deny me through text, I knew that it would be impossible to deny me once we were face to face. All I had to do was remind her how good it was, how much pleasure I could give her. I needed to get my hands on her tight little body again and she would be lost, just as she was before. I could still hear her begging me for more, tempting me to my limits. It was no different now and no amount of years was going to change that kind of chemistry. She wasn’t going to be able to forget who had given her the best orgasms of her life.
Chapter 90
Kendra
It was as if the universe was laughing at me. The fight with Jessica and Sarah had left me thinking about and even dreaming about what happened so long ago. Here I was, thinking about a man I hadn’t laid eyes on in ten years and then out of the blue, I get a message from him that he wants to talk. It was strange to think or wonder how that happened. I wasn’t sure I liked the feeling that it gave me and the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was too big of a coincidence to think of it that way.
I didn’t reply at first. I actually didn’t open the social media app for several days because I didn’t want to see the name and the short and cute little message that he had sent. He wanted to meet up and catch up. What did that even mean? Catch up on what? Life? It just didn’t make any sense to me and the more I thought about it, the more I knew that it was a horrible mistake. It just wasn’t meant to be. We weren’t meant to be together then and that hadn’t changed. The man broke my heart and I wasn’t going to let him do it again.
“Not today Satan.”
I mumbled the words to myself as I clicked the deny button. Nothing good was going to come from reintroducing him into my life and I didn’t need the complications. It was just like I told the girls, men aren’t worth the trouble.
But it appeared that Dennis was still the same and he was still finding it hard to take a no for an answer. Instead of just leaving me alone, he sent another request. I denied it rather quickly, but they just kept coming. After the fourth one, I decided that I was just going to ignore it altogether. I didn’t want to worry about him and I
can’t think of anything that we needed to get involved with again. It was like picking the scab off of an old wound and that didn’t seem to make any sense to me. Dennis was a very old wound and I didn’t want to mess with it or him.
He wasn’t getting the hint though and I finally just left it pending. I had enough things to worry about without a man from my past coming in to take over my mind. I just couldn’t and I didn’t want to. Dennis was dangerous in so many ways and I felt like I had learned my lessons in the last decide. I had learned to stay away from men like him. He made my heart race and my palms sweaty. That just couldn’t be a good thing, especially when I knew what he was capable of doing to me.
Friday morning I got up early and went to the gym. It was usually a sure-fire way to get my mind off of everything for a while, but today it just wasn’t cutting it. I had too much on my mind and I couldn’t clear it like I usually could. I wish I would have been able to. It would have made life so much easier to deal with. It would have made dealing with Dennis’ attention all of a sudden a whole lot better as well.
“Are you okay Kendra?”
I heard the words and then my name, but I wasn’t really listening. I was too lost in my own head. He said something else and I turned around with a smile. “Hey Mark. How are you?”
“I’m good. You look like you are a million miles from here this morning.”
Mark was a guy that I saw a couple of times a week in class. He kept asking me out and I declined, but we did flirt. He was cute and I told him I wasn’t looking, but he tried anyways. It was refreshing to know that at least not all of my life had went off kilter since hearing from Dennis, though I didn’t like the idea that everyone could tell I had other things on my mind. I hated the fact that I was never good at hiding my emotions, no matter how much I wanted to.
“Just got a lot on my mind. How is your week going?” Anything to get us off of the subject of where my mind was.
“It is going good. It would be going a lot better if I could end it with a date with you. We could get some breakfast or lunch, anything that you have time for.”
“I can’t get away from lunch at work. I get paid straight through and they expect me to stay on the premise in case something happens. There has to be a certain amount of staff on site at all times.”
“Dinner?”
He had that hopeful look in his eyes again. It was the look that I had shot down time and time again, but this time was different. I had the thoughts of Dennis keeping me up at night and all I really wanted to do was get that thought out of my head. Maybe it was Mark that would help me.
“Sure. How about eight? You pick the place.”
The grin on his face was ever growing and for that alone I wasn’t going to regret the decision. He was happier than I think I had ever felt in a long time and he was quite handsome in his own way. Truth was that he was the opposite of Dennis and I think I needed that aspect of it all more than anything else. I wanted to get as far away from Dennis in body and mind as possible.
Mark was lean and wiry with a great sense of humor. He had great eyes, blue like mine but light and more piercing. They looked right through me and in that instant there was attraction there that I hadn’t noticed before. Was it because I wasn’t looking?
“Great, I will see you tonight then Kendra . Do you want me to walk you out to your car?”
I shrugged and told him that I would appreciate it. As we walked out, I said goodbye to a few more people and wondered what it was I was doing. Mark was so different than me, but maybe that was a good thing. My usual suspects never seemed to be good for me, so maybe it was time to try something else. Mark was sensitive and more like what I was looking for. Or at least he was more like what I thought I was looking for in a man. He was certainly what I was looking for in a distraction.
“So can I ask you a question?” Mark was looking at me eagerly.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“What changed your mind?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well I have been asking you out on a weekly basis for over a year and now you say yes? What changed it?”
I giggled a little and I guess I could see what he was talking about. Would it be so believable if I was in his spot? I don’t know if I would be, but I really didn’t have much of an answer for him. My real reason wasn’t a good one and I didn’t want to upset him with it, hell I don’t know if I could say it out loud or not.
“It just seemed like the time to say yes to you. You are very persistent Mark.”
He smiled at me, but I could tell that he had more to ask. It was right on his face, but something must have told him to hold it in. I am glad he did but I was happier that I didn’t have to come clean or make something else up.
Mark opened the door for me and again told me he was looking forward to tonight. I was starting to look forward to it as well. I ignored the app on my phone that said I had a new request. I had a feeling I knew who it was. I wasn’t even going to look at the phone again.
I went to work and ignored the thoughts in my head. I stayed busy with another field trip for the girls. Craig was being friendly as well and for a moment I thought he was going to ask me out as well. He liked me, I know he did, but he had never let it go any further than a few looks. Something was going on and I swear it all started with Dennis. It was like he had awakened something inside of me and now every man around could tell that I was open for business.
When it was time to get off, I almost called Mark and canceled. I shouldn’t have told him yes, it wasn’t my intention, but merely a knee-jerk response to Dennis popping back up. Did I think if I was with someone else it would be easier?
I met Mark at the restaurant and he had dressed up in a button down and slacks. It was vastly different than when I saw him at the yoga place. “You look different Mark.”
“I just got back from work. Sorry I didn’t have time to change.”
“So what do you do for a living?”
I expected something in movies or finance. Every guy I met was in one of the two.
“I am in advertising.”
“Oh, well that sounds interesting.”
“It can be, but it is more tedious than anything else. I just got on with the biggest firm in Miami, but the boss is a real ball buster. I was there when his father still ran things, now everything is so different. I have only met Dennis once, but he was just so intense. I have never met anyone like him before.”
He was talking about him not like he was afraid or didn’t like him. Mark was talking about his boss like he was the best thing ever. But it was the name that threw me off. Of all of the names, of course his boss’ name would be Dennis.
“So where do you work?”
“Yearling and Sons. It’s over by the beach. The place stresses me out to no end, but they have great views. That is why I got into yoga. I thought I was going to lose my mind over there if I didn’t find something to get my mind off of things. Need something to clear the mind at the end of the day with all of the pressure they heap on us to make the sale.” He paused and looked at me with concern. “Are you okay?”
I felt like all of the air had been sucked out of my lungs and there was nothing left in the room to refill them. I knew that I had heard the name, the one I dreaded to hear and I didn’t know what to say. Could this all really just big one big coincidence? Was this all some kind of sign?
“Yes, I am fine. The name just sounded familiar.”
“Who Dennis?”
I shook my head, but I couldn’t bring myself to say his name out loud. Was that the same Dennis Yearling? I could have bet that it was. That was the way this month was going for me. My old flame just kept popping up and I wasn’t sure what that meant. But I wasn’t going to let on with Mark. I didn’t want him to know anything more.
“Yes, but I am sure that it isn’t the same one that I went to school with. I bet that is a rather common name.”
Mark wasn’t sure, he had that look again like he
didn’t know if I was being truthful or not. I was, I was just leaving a bit out. That didn’t seem too awfully bad.
“Enough about that, tell me about your day Mark.”
He did and it was boring. He had a bunch of meetings and his job was to write slogans and ad lines for different products. It was boring me to tears, but he was lighting up. Mark enjoyed his job and I enjoyed the good vibes that came off of him if nothing else.
“I am glad we went out Mark. I never would have guessed you were so funny.”
“That’s a good thing?”
“Yes, that is a very good thing.”
“Good enough to talk you into a night cap at my place?”
He wasn’t asking if I wanted a drink. It was pretty clear what he was asking and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. But I needed to be. There had to be a way to get this man out of my mind, even if I had to have a one night stand to achieve it. I was ready to do anything that it took.
Mark wasn’t my type, but that was the point. He was the opposite of Dennis is so many ways and I hoped that it would help me get over the constant need that I had felt since I heard from Dennis. I couldn’t have him, but I missed the way he touched me and I hoped that Mark was able to get my mid from the one I couldn’t have. If only for one night.
Chapter 91
Dennis
I got into work Monday in a bad mood. I don’t know what I was doing here early, but I was restless and needed to get my mind off of everything else. So here I was and again I regretted the decision to get an early start. The only saving grace was that Peggy wasn’t in yet. That meant that I had to get my own coffee and I made my way to the breakroom. I can’t say the last time I have been in here, but it looked smaller with several people crowding around the coffee machines.
