by Wood, Lauren
“You should have seen her. She was gorgeous last night. I thought she was in hot in yoga pants, but this dress. I don’t know. It took me a year to nail her down, but it was worth it. God, Kendra was so worth it in the end.”
Mark was talking about some rendezvous he had the night before and it wasn’t anything that I hadn’t heard before. It was the name that caught me off guard and I moved to see what he was showing the others on his phone. I didn’t want to believe that he had my Kendra. Not after she had blown me off so perfectly, not giving me the chance to say anything. I looked at Mark and I just couldn’t see it.
“Oh, sorry Dennis. I didn’t see you in here.”
He covered his phone and then pushed a button to get the picture off of it. Mark looked like he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and he was worried about what it was that I was going to do. I didn’t plan to do anything, but with all eyes on me, I couldn’t ask to see the picture or show much interest in it. I am the boss after all. I didn’t need the questions that would come with such interest. I didn’t want to believe it anyways.
“No problem, carry on. I am just here to get some coffee until Peggy comes in.”
“I can go down and get you some from the shop if you would like. The coffee here sucks.”
He stopped when he realized what he said, but I could tell from the smell of the coffee in the cup I was holding that it wasn’t going to be very good. I didn’t want to seem picky, so I told him that I was good. I thanked him and went back to my office, still thinking about Kendra. I don’t know if I was hearing things or just losing my mind, but it was like a conspiracy to drive me crazy.
I opened the app and still the request was pending. I was sick of seeing it like that. I was going to have to figure something out. I was going to have to make her see me again. If she was going out with guys like Mark, why wouldn’t she see me? She was single and so was I. It just made sense that we reconnect after all of this time.
Aggravated, I decided that I was going to have to take another route. I knew where she worked and against my better judgment, I decided that I was going to take a drive down there and see her for myself. I missed her and if I had to track her down, I was going to do what was necessary to see her, even if it meant me getting out on a limb to do it. That was usually a no-no in my world.
I had Peggy hold all of my calls for lunch. If I was going to find Kendra, I didn’t need business getting in my way. It is becoming clear to me what matters and what doesn’t. Right now, business was going to take a back seat.
I got the address from the file I had started on her and I put it into my GPS. Usually I would have a driver take me, but I didn’t want anyone to witness what was going to happen next. I was nervous that she wouldn’t want to see me. I know that I would be crushed, but I still had to try. I blamed Bobby once more for putting her in my mind, but there was a giddiness that I felt and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I hadn’t felt like this in ten years and I wanted that feeling back.
The place was not at all what I had expected. I had a feeling that this was for girls and teens that got in trouble. The building was in a bad part of town and the outside looked to be a mess. I started to hope that I had my information wrong and that she didn’t really work here. How could she? I didn’t like the idea of it at all and I was worried that something would happen to her in a place like this. The Kendra I remembered was delicate and didn’t belong in a place that looked like this one did. Link didn’t seem to be good enough for her, not in my eyes.
I sent the request again, just to see if this time I would get lucky. I didn’t and I finally got out of the car to see if I could find her. I didn’t expect the locked door when I got there, but there was an intercom out front. I pushed the button with a slightly trembling finger and waited for the verdict. Why was I so nervous all of a sudden? I was rich and got anything that I ever wanted. No one told me no, except Kendra. She had told me no when I had asked her to move with me. It was selfish by any stretch of the imagination, even for me then, I see that now, but she told me no flat out. No one ever did that and the knowledge that it was a real possibility made it one hundred times worse.
What if she did that again and I was left standing here on this very stoop with my hat in my hands? I didn’t like the idea of it, not at all and I took a step back with the thought. I had lost her once and I didn’t want to think of doing it again. I was in the wrong back then, I could see it now, but how would she respond to me? I worried about that and it almost was enough worry to have me leave and never know the outcome. But I knew I would always wonder about it and I didn’t want to go through life. Once Bobby brought her up, this was a culmination of that. I had to know what was going on with her to set my mind at ease.
“Hello?”
“Hi, I am here to see Kendra?”
“What is this regarding?”
I panicked a little inside, not sure what to say. “I am an old friend and I heard that she was working here. I just wanted to catch up or leave a message if she is busy.”
It wasn’t like me to give up so easy or to take no for an answer. Everything that had to do with Kendra made me feel so unsure and made me act differently, even now, ten years later. What kind of spell did she have over me?
“Okay, hold on a minute.”
The man’s voice sounded strange and I looked up at the building, half-expecting to see someone looking down at me to see who I was. They didn’t ask, so I was curious what would happen next. What sort of place was that and if Kendra wasn’t standing there by the intercom, why did the man on the other side sound so funny?
“She is not available right now. Can I take a message?”
I groaned inwardly and told the man my name. He didn’t make another comment, so I walked away, looking up right before I got in the car. I could have sworn that I saw someone standing up there and I could have guessed that it was Kendra, but I wasn’t sure. I heard a ding on my phone, one that I knew quite well b now and I am ashamed to say that I was scared to open the app. I didn’t want another rejection from Kendra. I didn’t know if my pride could take it.
Driving back to the office, I felt a heavy cloud over me. It felt like I wasn’t able to think straight and I should have gone home. I didn’t have too many meetings today and none of them were in from out of state, so it could all be rescheduled if needed. I should have went home, but I went back to work, the only thing that kept my mind busy enough. It was what I had been doing for years and my one real coping mechanism. I had buried myself in work that I didn’t want, so I wouldn’t think about what I had lost or what was missing in my life. I tried to find it in between the legs of random women, but it did me no good. It was never what I wanted.
Peggy jumped me when I got to the office. She had a lot of messages for me to handle and I did, one by one until I was at the end of the stack. I had done everything I could to avoid the phone in my pocket that still chirped from time to time to tell me that I had a message to look at.
When I finally did open the app, I was surprised that my request had finally been granted. I felt like I had won the lottery or something of the sort. She had messaged me back, asking how I was. It was generic at best, but it was something.
Now to figure out what it was that I was going to say.
Chapter 92
Kendra
Dennis: ‘I am doing well. I heard that you were in Miami and I tried to look you up.’
Kendra: ‘I got the message. I was surprised to hear from you.’
Dennis: ‘I have sent many requests.’
Kendra: ‘I wasn’t sure what to say Dennis. It has been a long time and we didn’t exactly leave on the best of terms.’
Dennis: ‘No I suppose not. It has been a long time, but I still think about you. Do you still think about me from time to time?’
Kendra: ‘I do, but not as much anymore. I watched your career with football. You did well. Where did you go after college?’
Dennis: �
�Here to run father’s business. I took it over last year when he retired.’
Kendra: ‘Good to hear that you are doing so well.’
Dennis: ‘And you. You always said that you were going to help people.’
Kendra: ‘I try.’
Kendra: ‘It’s not like I thought it would be, but nothing ever is.’
I was thinking about Dennis when I said this. I couldn’t believe that he had come to my job, but I should have known that he wasn’t going to let it go. He kept sending those requests, over and over again. Some things never changed and it seemed that his need to get his way was still just as strong as when I had known him before.
Hiding in the bathroom, I was perched on the toilet seat, my heart racing, staring at my screen and waiting for an answer. I don’t know what had gotten into me, but it was clear that I was going to have to figure something out. If I hadn’t contacted him, he would just come back to my job and I would have to explain myself again to Craig. He didn’t like that a rich man was outside waiting for me and the look on his face was priceless. I didn’t want to see that again.
Dennis: ‘Things with us didn’t quite work out the way I thought they would. When we were together, I thought that this would never end.’
Kendra: ‘Yes, it went a lot differently than I thought it would as well. I thought that we really had something going.’
Dennis: ‘We did. You will always be the one that got away. I still think about all of those times summer nights that we spent together riding around in my car. Do you remember going up to the overlook and making love on my Mustang? I remember everything about you Kendra. I still remember what you taste like and how you would call out my name as you came. I miss that Kendra. I miss us.’
I stopped and my heart stopped as well. Someone was in the bathroom and it was time for me to go anyways. I didn’t want to think about the moments in his car. They were some of the best of my life and I could still remember how he made me feel, how he made my body explode. I knew even then that I would never find it again. Well I had been right because out of ten years, I still hadn’t met another man that could please me in the way that Dennis did.
I stared at the phone a while longer, even though there were others in the restroom with me. I had to pull myself together before I could speak to him more. He had my body wet and in need with just a few words. Yeah, I remembered Dennis too well.
KENDRA : ‘Work calls, got to go.’
I moved out of the stall and smiled at the girls that had walked in. No one went to the bathroom alone, they were in a pack.
“I will see you guys outside for free time, right?”
Jessica nodded and Ashlea did the same. It was the time of day that we could all get out of the building and go for a walk to a park, get out and get some sunshine. It was just as important as everything else. I was feeling cooped up as well. I needed some time to think and some fresh air to make my brain work a little better.
The air didn’t help to clear my mind, but it did give me time to think about all of the what-ifs that I had circulating in there. What if this was meant to be? I had thought about him after several years of only a sideways glance, but now he was always on my mind again. Then he starts popping up online and at my job. This wasn’t going to go away until Dennis got what he came for. It was best that I found out what it was that he wanted.
Kendra: ‘So why are you looking me up now Dennis? I have lived in Miami for years.’
Dennis: ‘I didn’t know that. I would have thought you were married and living somewhere else. You never did like Florida too much. I just miss you Kendra, I miss us.’
Dennis: ‘I ran into Bobby. Do you remember Bobby Seagul? We got to talking about the old days and you were the first person that came to mind. I realized how long it had been since we talked and I wanted to see how you were doing.’
Dennis: ‘I am not going to lie. I started thinking about all of the good times and how we were together. I just miss you Kendra. I miss the way things used to be with us. Then I looked you up and couldn’t believe you were still single. I have been looking at your pictures for days. You haven’t changed a bit.’
Kendra: ‘I am doing well Dennis. Thanks for the concern.’
Dennis: ‘I want to see you. I want to be with you again. You can’t tell me that you don’t miss what we had, the way I made you feel. The way I made you scream my name as you came all over me.’
I tapped my finger on the phone and turned it off, sliding it back in my pocket. He wanted to meet face to face and I didn’t know if that was a good idea. It was quite clear what was on his mind. Dennis knew me too well and at one point he had known my body better than I had known it myself. It was a hard thing to forget about. Even my heart remembered as it slammed in my chest with just the idea of seeing him again. Why did he have to bring up the way things were in the bedroom? I missed the physical aspects with him the most. It wasn’t the safety that I felt in his arms that made me yearn for him. It was the way I had begged for more at night that kept me up.
It was almost time to get off of work and I was eager to get home where I could think of Dennis and what to do next. Work kept my mind busy, but I needed some quiet to really think this through. If I denied his request, Dennis was liable to continue asking until he wore me down. He was just that kind of man. I had to meet him, if only just once to appease him.
Kendra: ‘Tonight?’
I almost hoped that he was busy, so that I could prolong the inevitable, but I really didn’t have a choice. He responded back with a place and time. I stared at the phone for a while, not sure what I was supposed to do next. Had I really just agreed to see the one man that had been able to break my heart?
I got to the restaurant a little late. It wasn’t because I had done it on purpose, but because I didn’t know what to wear. What does a person wear to see a man she hasn’t seen in ten years? I had done myself no favor by looking him up online. He was richer than I could have imagined and he still looked good, really good. Dennis didn’t look like he had aged a bit. He was a bit bigger than before, but that was the only difference that I could see. He was wider around the chest and shoulders. His arms were still huge, even in a business suit. I didn’t see not one picture of him that he was wearing anything besides a tailored suit, he always looked so professional. He looked powerful and just the idea of seeing him again had my knees going weak. I had spent far too much time staring in the mirror, pointing out to myself all of the different changes that I could see from before.
So now I was here and I was even more nervous than when I left the house. The drive was only ten minutes, but it felt like an hour. I didn’t know what to expect and the more I thought about it, the more worried I got. What did he want to see me for? It was so long ago. It’s not like he felt the way about me anymore. It’s not like I still felt that way about him. There is just no way.
The hostess brought me to a back table where Dennis was already waiting. His back was to me and I didn’t have to see his face to know it was him. I would have recognized his shoulders from anywhere. Those strong arms used to wrap around me and I would feel like I was safe. I needed them now, but I knew that all of that and the healing effects were most likely gone.
“Dennis?”
He turned around and those green eyes made me stop where I was. He was happy to see me, I could see it in the crinkles of his eyes, but then there was more and I looked away. Dennis always did have the most expressive face. I never had to ask what he wanted because I always knew. Now though, I needed to ignore what it was that he wanted. Those eyes told me everything and there was nothing that I could do to stop the skipping of my heart. He wanted me, underneath him and for just a moment, I could envision myself right where he wanted me.
He stood up and towered over me. I stuck my hand out like I was going to shake his and he pushed it away. “I think we go too far back to worry about being proper Kendra. I want a hug. I haven’t seen you in a long time.”
I let h
im hug me and I regretted it the instant he had his arms around me. He felt so good and I felt the same safe feeling that I had before. I couldn’t ignore it and I closed my eyes for a moment to exhale deeply before pulling away and putting some distance in between us.
“You look good Dennis. You still look like a football star.”
“And you look the same. You were always pretty, but now you are a gorgeous woman. I shouldn’t have let you go.”
It was the second time that he had said something like that and talk like that made me nervous. That was talk about regrets and I know that I had some of my own. I didn’t regret ever being with Dennis, I learned a lot, but I regretted how it ended and how devastated I was for years to come. He had changed me and I wasn’t ready to be molded like dough again.
“No, you shouldn’t have. I told you that back then. Now look at you though. It doesn’t look like you are any worse for wear. I can’t believe that you aren’t married with a little team of your own right now. Ten years is a longtime. I am surprised that you even remember me.”
“How could I forget you Kendra?”
I shrugged and didn’t have an answer. I wish I knew it because I would have used it to get over him a long time ago. It was hard enough just the few moments that I would think of him, having him here in front of me was akin to torture.
“Well now that we both know we remember, what are we doing here?”
“I want you back.”
I scoffed. “You don’t know me anymore Dennis and my heart still hurts from the last time that you crushed it.”
He leaned closer to me, “I know that I hurt you, but I hurt myself as well. I never found anyone to compare to you Kendra and you should believe me when I say I have looked. I have tried to find a woman that made me feel the way that you did, that was as compatible as we were, but there is no one but you. I know that now. What we had together cannot be replicated.”
