Biker Faith

by Ellie R. Hunter

  “Let me know when you need more,” he says, and his composure is back in place.

  I nod and after a moment’s hesitation, he turns and leaves.

  Once the door is shut, I release the breath that was stuck in my throat and cry heavy sobs until the nurse comes in five minutes later.

  I thought running was hard but watching Sparky walk away simply crushed me.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Sparky...

  I never got to enjoy the high of taking Tommy out as it resulted in losing Bonnie all over again. I don’t regret taking his life and making him pay for what he done to her but I regret not going to her when she finally opened up about her past with the Ghost Riders. If I had gone to her I wouldn’t be sitting alone in my room trying to stay away from temptation. It took everything I had in me not to get wasted after I left her at the hospital a couple of weeks ago but I remained sober and returned the next day to take her back to the house she’s staying at. Neither of us knew what to say and neither of us barely looked at the other. I knew leaving her that night could ruin what we were starting to build together but I took a chance and it backfired on me. I didn’t even make it past the front door. It hurt something bad to see her pulling away from me. As I walked back to my truck that day I told myself I would do anything to prove to her I can be what she needs. She said she wants stability and that’s what I’m going to give her. Hence, why I’m sitting up here alone, not getting drunk and not distracting myself with pussy. Not that Bonnie could see any of this but I hoped word would get back to her through Barbie.

  I have never believed in love at first sight. If anything, I’ve never believed I would ever want to settle down, especially as Bonnie and I have barely spent proper time together. But there’s something about her that draws me in and I’ll be fucked if I’m going to lose it. I’ll bide my time with her and give her the space to do whatever the fuck she has to do. She is mine and I’ll be ready for when she realises this.

  The sound of banging out in the hall broke me out of my one man pity party and when I opened the door a prospect was banging on all the doors.

  “Hey, what the fuck you doin’?” I yelled.

  “Cas said to get everyone down, a Ghost Rider has turned up at the gate,” he explained.

  What? I quickly turn around and grab my gun. On my way out I am quickly followed by Slade. Everyone else is already standing outside with Cas out front and centre. As I near I see one guy standing on his own on the other side of the closed gate. He looks to be in his forties, possibly older, scruffy and wearing a navy blue hoodie with holes in the sleeve.

  He’s telling Cas something and as I flank my brother I hear Cas cutting him off.

  “You’re either very stupid or you’ve got yourself some balls comin’ here,” he says calmly.

  “I don’t want to be here. It goes against everything I’ve believed in for the last twenty-five years,” the guy spits out.

  “So why are you here then?” Cas asks.

  “Because I’m out, loads of us are. Whatever shit you’ve had with the Ghost Riders, not all of us agreed with Hunter. After he died most of us were ready to go our own way but Joe and Tommy hyped up a load of bullshit about keepin’ the brotherhood together and we stayed.”

  “That’s a nice story you’re tellin’ us but why the fuck are we goin’ to believe you?” I call out.

  “Look, Joe ain’t runnin’ shit. He only got the gavel because he was next in line. These days he’s snorting our income like it’s fuckin’ water and if he ain’t fightin’ everyone else he’s fightin’ us. We’ve had enough. Joe ain’t interested in a club, he’s only after power and control.”

  “What brings you here?” Cas asks him.

  “The boy is out of control. He’s not only after you but us as well. I’m too fuckin’ old for this watchin’ my back shit. Before Tommy turned up smokin’ like a piece of burnt chicken he had an ally but now he has no one and it’s makin’ him uncontrollable.”

  No one was saying anything. This is the first time this has ever happened. The guy remained straight backed and held his ground. If I went with my gut I would say he was telling the truth. He looked worn down and tired but still, it would be foolish to take him at his word.

  He huffed and shook his head. When we remained silent he began pulling his hoodie over his head.

  “Whoa! What do you think you’re doin’?” Cas shouted.

  “I’m showing you I’m serious. Look, all covered. No insignias left,” he said moving round in a slow circle so we could all see.

  Man, the guy must have had many Ghost Rider tattoos because he now looks like one big blob of ink.

  “Okay, I get your point, put your fuckin’ hoodie back on for fucks sake.”

  Cas waited until he was fully covered again and stared at him for a moment longer.

  “I’ll ask you one more time. Why are you here?” Cas repeats his earlier question.

  “I haven’t got the means to do it myself since leaving the club. Here’s a list of numbers Joe uses. I thought you could have your guy track him down. I know you’ve been tryin’ to pin him down and have had no success with that.”

  He digs in his jeans pocket and produces a crumpled piece of paper. He steps forward and holds it through the bars on the gate.

  Cas nods to Slade and he moves forward and takes it.

  “I get why you wanted out but why come here and hand us information on Joe?” Cas asks.

  “He hurt someone close to me just because he could. He needs to be put down like the dirty mongrel he is,” he mutters, and before we can blink he is walking away to his bike on the other side of the road.

  “Take that list and start trackin’ the numbers, hopefully we get a hit on him,” Cas orders Slade.

  Slade disappears inside to his laptop and Pope comes up beside me.

  “You know, that could’ve been a distraction,” he says seriously.

  “For what?” I ask.

  “We’re all here listening to his crap while your girl in town is on her own. Maybe those numbers aren’t anything and Joe is already here?”

  As soon as he said the words I can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself. I pull my cell out and punch in her number.

  After the fourth ring she answers. I tell myself it’s a good sign Joe isn’t with her if she’s answering the phone.

  “Hello.”

  “Bonnie, are you on your own?” I ask her.

  “Sparky, I’ve told you it’s not any of your business anymore,” she says adamantly.

  “And I’ve told you, you are my business but that’s not what I meant. Have you seen your brother today?”

  I hear her intake of breathe and I can picture her beginning to freak out.

  “Bonnie? You still there?” I ask.

  “Yeah. Is Joe in town?”

  “We don’t know, I just wanted to check and make sure he wasn’t with you.”

  She goes so quiet I think I can hear her thinking. I can guarantee her eyes will be wild right now.

  “Bon, don’t worry about this, I was just checking in.”

  “Okay. Um, I’ll speak to you later,” she says, then hangs up on me.

  I don’t like leaving it like that. She said she will stay in Willows Peak but if she thinks her brother is around and she is scared enough she might run. I have to go and see her and tell her what’s happened.

  I turn back to my brothers.

  “She hasn’t seen Joe. Look, I don’t want to leave right now but I have to go see her. I can’t leave her thinking Joe is in town and I’m hiding something from her,” I tell Cas, hoping he understands because at the moment I couldn’t give a shit if he doesn’t.

  “Go, take Pope and Ricky with you. Once we’ve got a hit we’ll pass through town and join you.”

  “Thanks brother.”

  I don’t waste any time making my way to the garages and impatiently wait for Ricky to get his ass on his bike.

  Turning onto Bonnie’s stree
t everything seems normal. The three of us stop our bikes and park up outside her house. Her neighbour’s curtains start twitching and I can’t help laugh that the nosy old woman notices everything. I must remember to give her my number in case there is any trouble here.

  I knock three times on the door and wait for her to answer. Pope and Ricky follow behind and we hear her unlocking four different locks to open the door.

  I don’t miss the small smile when she sees me but it soon disappears back to her ‘stubborn as fuck’ composed mask.

  “I’ve already told you he’s not here,” she says, walking back to the kitchen leaving the door open.

  “I know. I wanted to make sure you’re okay,” I say, following her through.

  “I’m fine. You’re only here to make sure I don’t run,” she says, sure of herself that she’s right.

  “Well, are you?”

  She looks at Pope and Ricky, remaining quiet. I nod at my brothers and they disappear into the lounge.

  Once we’re on our own she replies.

  “I’m not going anywhere. I don’t know how many more times I have to tell you that,” she sighs.

  I breathe a sigh of relief and move closer to her. Every time I see her I ache to hold her against me again.

  “We’ve been given some numbers of Joe’s to track so I’ll probably be heading out of town for a while,” I tell her.

  “I don’t want to know,” she says.

  “I don’t suppose you’ll stay at the club while I’m gone?” I ask, already knowing she’ll refuse.

  “I’m okay here, stop worrying.”

  “What else am I meant to fuckin’ do when you won’t do anything I ask?” I yell, beginning to lose my patience.

  “Because I don’t have to Sparky. I’ve been in a lot worse situations than this and I’m lot a stronger now,” she says, her voice getting louder too.

  She turns away and busies herself at the sink. I can’t stop myself, I need to be close to her. I brace myself behind her and lean each hand on the counter, trapping her between my arms. I see her slightly shudder and lean into me a fraction.

  “Why do you keep pushing me away?” I breathe into her neck.

  Her eyes close and I push on. I wind my arm around her waist and rest my hand on her stomach. Through her thin top I can feel a slight bump.

  “You’re both mine, why keep fightin’ it?”

  “Because I haven’t finished fighting for myself,” she whispers.

  I growl in frustration. I understand her need for independence but for God’s sake, why can’t she open her fucking eyes and see I want that for her too and she can still have it just as long as I know she is with me.

  “Don’t do this Sparky, I’m not doing this with you again.”

  “Fine” I huff, pushing away from her. “Like I said, I’ll be heading out of town soon, please look after yourself.”

  “Of course I will,” she laughs.

  “Don’t laugh at me Bon. Since you won’t let me near you I have to trust you to keep yourself safe when I’m not around.”

  My sincerity sobers her up and then she sighs sadly.

  “I’m not made of glass. Trust me, I’m not going to let anything happen to me or our baby.”

  A throat clearing from the doorway stops us from going round in circles. I turn to find Pope and Ricky standing there.

  “Slade’s tracked a couple of the numbers to the same place. Cas is on his way and wants us to meet him as he passes through town,” Ricky informs me.

  “Give me a minute and I’ll be out.”

  They both leave and I turn back to Bonnie. She looks like she’s seen a ghost.

  “Has Joe been found?”

  “Hopefully he hasn’t dumped the phones and it’s him.”

  “Actually I don’t want to know” she says, composing herself once again.

  I don’t blame her, it can’t be easy for her whatever she has been through.

  “I’ll stop by when I get back,” I tell her.

  “Okay.”

  Wow, she doesn’t normally okay my stopping by this easily.

  I thought she wasn’t going to follow me out but she did. If I had my way I would kiss her goodbye but I don’t bother and carry on down the path.

  “Oh and Sparky,” she calls out as I reach my bike, “Thought you’d want to know I have a job interview tomorrow,” she smirked, knowing I couldn’t stay and argue about this with her now. I have told her numerous times over the last few weeks that I will take care of her financially but will she fucking let me? No she fucking won’t.

  “We’ll talk about this when I get back,” I glare at her.

  “I’ll be waiting,” she replies, closing the door on us.

  “She’s worth waitin’ for. Mark my words, she’ll come to you when she’s ready,” I look at Pope and wonder when the hell he started speaking so much.

  “I hope so brother.”

  And I hope it’s fucking soon.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Bonnie...

  Living in Lost Souls property made me feel safer because of the amount of locks on the doors and the windows. However, after Sparky told me yesterday that they were on their way to track Joe down I went the extra mile and pushed the kitchen chairs under the front and back door handles as an extra precaution. I managed to grab a few hours’ sleep last night but every little noise outside had me jumping out my skin. I know I told Sparky I’ll be fine here and part of me agrees I will be but there’s that small part that still goes numb in fear that Joe or Tommy will turn up and try to take me back. I understand Sparky’s frustration with me when I keep pushing him away but he doesn’t realise how hard it is for me to do that. I do want him and I would love nothing more than to be with him and have him by my side like a real man, but I also want to feel that burst of freedom and the knowledge that I can do as I please for once. He has made it clear he wants to look out for me financially and how easy would that be, not having to work day in day out. Strangely though, I want to. I want to earn my own money. I want to be able to go grocery shopping and pay with cash I made, not cash that I had to steal or that has been thrown at me because I so happen to be carrying his baby. I haven’t told him I have fallen in love with him because I want to know it’s him I really love, not just because I latched onto him because he was the first man to be nice to me. I mean, he hasn’t told me he loves me. I know he feels something for me and he acts like he does love me but then I think is it because I am pushing him away that he chases me so much? I know it sounds crazy as I am having his baby and we are going to be a part of each other’s lives forever through our baby but I’m sick of living my life to make other people happy.

  So today, I will get washed and dressed. I will eat my breakfast and make my way to the small solicitor’s office and go through the motions of being normal and needing a job.

  Standing on the sidewalk I am shaking. Shaking with joy. I can’t stop smiling. I done it.

  The interview went well and I was hired. He knows about my pregnancy and it works out well because by the time I leave to have my baby, the original secretary will be back from maternity leave. I knew it was a part time offer and I took it regardless. From now on I have a purpose.

  Alannah is waiting outside my house when I arrive back waiting to hear if I got the job or not.

  “So, how did it go?” she asks, getting out of her car.

  “I got it,” I tell her, leading the way up the path to the door.

  “Congratulations Bon, I knew you’d be fine so I brought us something to celebrate with,” she says, holding a large box of chocolates in her hands.

  “It’s hardly tequila but these work too,” she beams, following me inside.

  I sit telling her about my new role, explaining how perfect the position is because I’ll be sitting most of the time dealing with paperwork. I don’t want to fall from my high but I have been dying to know how Sparky got on yesterday. He said he would drop by when he got back so unless he though
t better of it and didn’t bother, I have to assume they haven’t returned.

  “I was wondering when you were going to ask” she chuckles.

  “So they’re not back yet?”

  “No, Cas called this morning but he didn’t say anything about your brother. He was only checking in with me, making sure I was okay. He said they’ll be back sometime today.”

  “Sparky said he’d drop by. I told him about my interview and he wasn’t happy about it.”

  “I bet he wasn’t,” she laughs. “Don’t be too hard on him, he’s only doing what he thinks he should be. You should go easy on him and let him look after you, not completely, but a little.”

  That is easier said than done. Would I be strong enough to let him in a little without letting him in completely? Until I know the answer to that I have to keep him away.

  “Tell me, what’s going on with you?” I say, changing the conversation.

  “Cas and I are looking for our own house away from the club. We can’t agree on a place we both like at the moment but we’re looking.”

  “Are you looking here in town?” I ask.

  “Not as such. The only good memory I have about the cabin is I liked the peace and privacy. Cas isn’t agreeing to anything too far from the club and I don’t want to move that far either but all the places I like are far out.”

  Our conversation couldn’t go any further as the low rumble of bikes outside had us looking through the window to see how many there were. Looks like Sparky’s back to argue it up with me again today.

  Alannah was already out of the door greeting Cas as he got off his bike. The rest of the brothers remained seated and didn’t cut their engines apart from Sparky, who was already parked up and heading inside.

  Here we go I thought, bracing myself for his let-me-look-after-you speech again. He leant against the doorframe and waited for Alannah to leave as she had come back in to get her bag and keys off the table.

  “I’m going to follow the guys back. Are you going to be okay?” she asks.

  “She’ll be fine Barbs, quit worryin’,” Sparky grunts.