The Chai Factor

by Farah Heron

  “Fine. I may be seeing someone. But it’s too soon to tell the world yet, so subject change, please. You still committing to never committing?”

  Shelley laughed. “The dating pool of acceptable people in this city is getting smaller by the minute. Practically a dating kiddie pool at this point. And I never get out of the office long enough to actually meet non-Hyde men anyway.”

  “What about Hyde men, then?”

  “I’m HR—the only department not allowed to dip into the office talent. Ooh, speaking of dipping into office talent, here’s some juicy dirt. Apparently Trevor Crane had a little fling with Mandeep in accounting. Her husband found out when she sent raunchy texts to him, thinking he was Trevor. I guess her husband didn’t know her deviant side.”

  “Holy crap. Should you be telling me this?”

  “Yeah, it’s all good. I didn’t find this out until they’d both left the company. Word is, they’ve both left their spouses, too.”

  “They’re both gone?” Amira had liked Trevor. He was a consultant in her division and she’d worked with him on plenty of assignments. She also knew his wife was a piece of work, and the end of his marriage didn’t surprise Amira. Still, his method of moving on left a lot to be desired. She didn’t know this Mandeep—must have been hired after she left.

  Shelley nodded. “No surprise they jumped ship. A black man and a brown woman? Still, getting involved with a co-worker seems like a disaster waiting to happen. I always warned Tori when she was checking out the new hires. Tori’s working at the airport now and drooling openly outside the pilots’ lounge. She always had a thing for men in uniform.” Tori was hired not long before Amira left. Lovely girl, and a very good engineer. Amira had been looking forward to working with her again.

  “Tori’s gone, too? Is there a bit of a mass exodus going on?”

  Shelley snorted. “Yeah, you could say that. Lots of new people, though. You’ll have to meet Kristianne. I call her my new work wife, since you’re not there. We’ll all do lunch all together when you’re back.”

  The food arrived, and as they dug in, Amira took a second to think about what Shelley had said. She’d known things at Hyde were different. Hell, she’d seen it when she met with Jim Prescott, and then Raymond. But it was still surprising to hear so many people had left. There had been little turnover among the engineers at Hyde while she was there. The culture was clearly different now. Maybe this new company culture had something to do with Raymond’s less-than-complimentary assessment of her paper?

  “Shelley, what did you mean, it was no surprise that a black man and a brown woman would jump ship?”

  Shelley plucked a grilled octopus tentacle from the shared plate in the middle of the table and popped it in her mouth. She seemed to hesitate for moment. Finally, she smiled. “I hate to badmouth the company, but it’s hard not to see what’s right in front of my nose, right?”

  Amira nodded.

  “Jim Prescott has made a lot of changes in his divisions. Magically, senior and team-lead roles have been found for all the white men under him. Tori and Trevor left when they realized they wouldn’t get promotions.”

  Jesus Christ. Racist as well as sexist?

  “I’m in HR,” Shelley continued, “so I know the guys who got promotions were qualified. But they weren’t the only ones qualified, you know? We’re talking six roles—the optics don’t look good. And I’ll bet in the new sound-reduction division, the senior roles will go to good old boys like Jim, too. While the women do the grunt work.”

  This was worse than she’d thought. Raymond hadn’t mentioned Jim had a preference for white men.

  Wait . . . Amira hesitated. What sound-reduction division?

  “Shelley, what are you talking about?”

  Shelley frowned. “You don’t know about that? They’re launching a big new division under Jim’s umbrella. Sound and vibration reduction. There’ll be a few senior consultants and a bunch of juniors. Job postings go up next week.”

  Amira felt a churning in her stomach. Her project was in the area of vibration and noise control. The report that Raymond trashed was on that topic. “Does Raymond Chu know about this new division?”

  “Everyone knows. Raymond Chu has been angling to get the team-lead role for a while now. He didn’t tell you? I figured he’d want you to move divisions with him.”

  Amira felt the café spin around her. Prior to her lab project, she hadn’t thought twice about working in sound reduction, but after all the work she’d just done, she knew a fair bit about the field, certainly enough to apply for a senior position in the division. And Raymond knew that, since he had read her project report. But he hadn’t told her about it. Because he wanted the position for himself?

  Was this why he had trashed her paper?

  It couldn’t be a coincidence. If it was, he would have said something about the division when he sent the paper back to her. Maybe he thought that if Jim saw a letter of recommendation for Amira from Professor Kennedy, an engineer he respected, about a project on noise control, she would have a leg up on the position. And maybe he didn’t want competition for the role.

  The worst part was, she liked the division she was already in. She didn’t want to move. And since she was the furthest thing from a white man, she didn’t think Jim would give her a senior role there anyway.

  Amira swallowed the bitterness rising in her throat. It was possible that Raymond had tried to sabotage both her advancement at work and her final paper for his own self-interest, at the expense of her career, her degree, and their friendship.

  “You okay, Amira?”

  “Yeah, Shelley, I’m fine. Lost my appetite, though.” She pushed the plate of octopus towards her friend. There was no way she could stomach this now.

  * * *

  ON THE LONG subway ride home, Amira replayed the conversation with Shelley in her mind, trying to make sense of it all. She wasn’t sure what was worse, that the company she loved so much had turned into a petty, toxic work environment, or that Raymond, her friend and mentor, had betrayed her. She hadn’t heard back from Dad yet, but she was starting to feel even more confident that there was nothing significantly wrong with her project. And everything wrong with her choice of workplace mentor.

  How could she have been so blind to Raymond’s true nature? She remembered Duncan’s comment when they’d fought. That she was too caught up in hero worship to see that Raymond was no real supporter. Amira closed her eyes, but even the gentle sway of the subway train failed to calm her frayed nerves. She considered calling Reena to meet for drinks. Maybe with strong whiskey and Reena’s steady support, she could make sense of all this crap. She was due for a check-in with Reena, anyway—she hadn’t told her about the events of the engagement party yet.

  But Amira knew it wasn’t Reena she wanted to comfort her now. Amira wanted Duncan.

  Even though this conversation with Shelley had proven he’d been right when they fought, it was him she wanted to console her, to discuss the situation with, and to reassure her that everything would end up okay. And damn, wasn’t that a monumental shift in Amira’s entire world view. She’d had boyfriends before, but she had never felt the urge to lay herself open to a man when she needed comfort. This was new ground for her, but Amira was in no state to analyze it. She picked up her pace on the walk home from the subway station, knowing that everything would feel easier once she was in his arms.

  But Duncan wasn’t there when Amira walked into the basement family room. She found only Sameer, sitting alone on the sofa.

  “Where is everyone?” Amira said, joining him.

  “Travis is in the bathroom, trimming Barrington’s hair for tomorrow. Duncan went to pick up his niece in Omemee.”

  Right. Amira had forgotten about the sleepover. “How are you doing?” Amira asked.

  “Fine,” Sameer said, not lifting his face from the phone in his hands.

  “Liar.”

  He dropped his phone and ran his hand through his ha
ir. “Okay. Terrible. I feel like my world has exploded around me and is still smouldering while I’m expected to carry on as normal. Better?”

  Amira shook her head. “I can’t believe Travis dumped you.”

  He winced. “I can. It was a long time coming. I knew he’d grow tired of being with a coward.”

  Amira looked at him. “No,” she said. “You don’t get to call my friend a coward. I get it, Sameer. Family gossip, and pressure, and expectations, and fuck it all to hell. But you are strong. This isn’t your fault. It’s just a bad situation.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. Amira was already in a terrible mood, but seeing Sameer so heartbroken was even more devastating. She wanted to steal him away from there, where his family wanted one thing from him and Travis wanted another. Plus, the damn competition, and the pressure to win the thing. It was too much.

  “I don’t get how you can still do the competition,” she said.

  He stared vacantly at the empty wall. “It’s not fair to the others to pull out now. We’ll get through it. At least with Justine coming, I don’t have to suffer through four and a half hours alone with him on the drive home. I’m moving back in with my mom. Travis never has to see me again, if that’s what he wants.”

  Amira’s gut twisted. “That’s not what he wants, but what do you want, Sameer?”

  He didn’t say anything for a while, just kept staring at the empty wall. Finally, he turned and looked at her, eyes wide and glistening. “Same thing I’ve always wanted. Him. But . . .” He looked down at his hands folded in his lap. “I can’t be who he wants me to be.”

  She didn’t say anything. There was no point, really. Amira was terrible at supportive pep talks because she refused to express any trite platitudes. She could say, He’ll come around or Maybe he’ll wait for when you’re ready, but Sameer knew the truth. He was the one who needed to act if there was going to be any happily-ever-after for him and Travis. Doing nothing and hoping Travis would change his mind wasn’t going to fix a damn thing. And even then, there was no guarantee for the future. It would be cruel to promise otherwise.

  Amira slouched back on the couch, her head resting heavily on the cushion behind her.

  “You seem like you’re having a shitty day, too,” Sameer said.

  Amira snorted. “That’s an understatement. I just had lunch with a work friend, and it looks like Duncan was right. My mentor is apparently trying to sabotage me. Probably because he thinks I want a job that he wants. Why is everyone an asshole lately?”

  “Damn. I’m sorry, Amira.”

  “Yeah. You know, Sameer, I wish someone had told us back when we were little that adulting sucks. That there would always be piles of crap in our way that we cannot control.”

  Sameer was silent for a while, probably thinking about the steaming piles of crap that had recently gotten in the way of his happy life.

  He finally turned to her. “What are you going to do?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “About your job, you going to confront your mentor?”

  “Don’t know.” She stood. “But first, I am going to go over my paper again. Do some more research to confirm that I am right about this stuff before confronting anyone.” She exhaled. “It’s going to be a long night.” She started walking towards her room.

  “I’ll tell the guys to leave you alone,” Sameer said as she walked away.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  AMIRA WAS DIGGING through obscure engineering journals online when there was a knock at the door. Jesus Christ, they were already bugging her? Unless, maybe Duncan was back?

  She opened the door. It wasn’t Duncan, but Barrington.

  “Sorry to bother you, but we’re having a bit of a situation out there. I think you need to come . . .”

  What now? She followed Barrington out to the family room where she found Sameer and Travis on either side of a teary-faced Zahra.

  Amira rushed to her sister and knelt on the floor in front of her. “Zahra, Squish, what’s wrong?” She took her sisters hands.

  Her sister sniffled and choked back another sob before speaking. “Maddie’s not coming to sleep over.”

  “Oh no. Sweetie, I’m sorry. But that’s okay, you guys can plan a sleepover another time, right? Is she not feeling well?”

  “That’s not it, Amira,” Sameer said. He had his arm around Zahra’s shoulder, but she couldn’t miss the fury in his eyes.

  “Why, then?” Amira asked Zahra.

  “She texted me. She said her dad didn’t want her sleeping at a Muslim’s house.”

  Amira stared blankly at her baby sister.

  “He said people like us are what’s wrong with Canada,” Zahra continued. “He told her Maddie wasn’t allowed to be friends with terrorists.”

  Her heart was pounding and her knees gave out as her bottom hit the floor. “She really wrote that?”

  Travis was holding Zahra’s phone and handed it to Amira. She read the series of texts. In the terrible grammar of a ten-year-old, Maddie Galahad relayed everything her father had told her, calling Zahra a terrorist and much worse. It was vile. How could a child say this to another child?

  Amira squeezed her eyes shut. They were just words. She could feel her heart racing, but she needed to collect herself. Mind spinning, she screen-captured the messages and forwarded the images to herself before deleting them from her sister’s account. She didn’t want Zahra to ever see those disgusting messages again. She put the phone on the floor. Once she could be sure she wouldn’t completely lose it, Amira took Zahra’s hands again and looked at the sad face belonging to the person she loved more than anyone in the world.

  “I’m sorry, Zahra. I guess Maddie and her father aren’t as nice as we thought they were. But they don’t know the truth about us, right? Remember, we talked about this before. Some people just don’t understand Muslims because they don’t know any of us. But it’s their loss. Maddie’s giving up the chance to have the most awesome friend in the world because she can’t look past her prejudices.”

  Zahra sniffled. “I know, Amira. But it was just a sleepover. Mum bought popcorn and purple nail polish. We were going to watch that ballet movie.”

  “Tell you what, the boys here have to practise tonight for their competition, so how about I come sleep over in your room tonight. I can do your nails, and I’ll watch the movie with you. Maybe we’ll even make some cookies. Does that sound good?”

  Zahra’s forehead wrinkled, then she nodded. Amira relaxed. “Okay. Let me get some work done on my paper, then I’ll come up for dinner and we’ll start our sleepover. Okay?”

  “Okay,” Zahra said before taking her phone and slowly walking up the stairs.

  “Shit.” Amira fell backwards on the floor as soon as her sister was gone and lay there with her hands over her face. It was just words. Images flitted through her mind, and she shoved them away with the crumb of strength she was able to muster.

  “Poor Zahra,” Barrington said from the armchair behind her.

  She ran her hand over her hair. “Where’s Duncan?”

  “He should be home soon,” Travis said. “I guess he’ll be here empty-handed.”

  Amira sat up. “Maddie Galahad is ten years old. Where the hell would she get crap like that anyway? She was out with Zahra and me all day when we went to the ballet, and now suddenly she’s Islamophobic?”

  “Obviously her father,” Sameer said. “And maybe Ryan didn’t know you were Muslim when he agreed to the ballet.”

  But Duncan knew. Did he also know his brother was a bigot? That little Maddie would parrot everything Daddy said?

  Another wave of nausea took hold. She gritted her teeth. “I need to speak to Duncan.”

  “Duncan doesn’t think that way,” Travis said. “His brother might, but you have to understand they’re from a really tiny town. There’s not a lot of diversity out there.”

  “No.” Amira stood up. “No. I am so done with giving excuses to people who treat us
like shit. If they can’t get their heads out of their own asses long enough to realize we are real people, with real feelings, then I don’t have to waste any more of my emotional effort to try to understand them.”

  The side door opened, and heavy footsteps came down the stairs. Duncan was back.

  “Amira, good. We need to talk.”

  She looked at him. “Yeah? Go ahead, I’d love to hear what you have to say for yourself.”

  “Um”—he looked around at the rest of his quartet sitting in the family room—“can we go to your room?”

  “No. I want your friends to hear this. After all, they were kind enough to comfort my crying sister after your niece called her a terrorist.”

  “What?!” he said.

  Amira stepped closer to Duncan. “Your niece called my sister a terrorist. Here, look.” She cued up the screen-shots on her phone and handed it to Duncan. His face whitened as he read them.

  He lowered his hand and took a step backwards, hitting the wall behind him. “Shit . . . I’m sorry, Amira.” He paused. “What the hell . . . I’m going to have more words with Ryan about this. It’s what I wanted to talk to you about. When I got to Omemee, Ryan said he didn’t want Maddie to go, and it didn’t take long to figure out why.”

  She took her phone back from him. “And . . .”

  He looked at his friends again, who were still watching silently. “Can’t we talk about this alone?”

  “No. I think we all need to hear this. After all, your group is quite multicultural—you have blacks, browns, and . . .” She turned to Travis.

  “Just white. Half English, half French-Canadian,” he replied.

  “I’m not racist, Amira. You of all people should know that,” Duncan said, voice rising.

  She threw her right hand in the air. “Why me of all people? Because you were willing to have sex with me? People like you are never racist when it means getting some hot Indian ass! We wrote the Kama Sutra, you know. Tantric sex, that’s all Indian. I don’t blame you for wanting some of that action. You must have been over the moon when you discovered I’m not exactly vanilla in the bedroom.” She stepped even closer to him, fists tight, boiling with rage. “But when it comes to letting your kids associate with us, on the other hand . . .”