Before I Fell

by Brandy Greeley

  Oh, right. Our agreement.

  “Yeah, well, that sort of died the second Persephone was cursed. I was trying to help.”

  He sighed, running a hand across his chin stubble.

  “I know, but I’m not a wounded animal you need to coddle, Emma.”

  I quirked an eyebrow at him in response. “Really? Last time I checked, you’ve smashed nearly every vase in the castle, the servants are afraid of you, and if it wasn’t for the deal I initially made with Persephone, I’d be gone.”

  “Which you just said no longer binds you to us-you’re essentially doing work pro bono. So, why are you still here?”

  His words stung as I backed up a few steps.

  “Everyone needs friends, Hades, whether they like it or not.”

  “We’re friends?”

  “You’ve been to my apartment several times, I’ve been here off and on for the past three years so, yeah, we’re friends, you stubborn jerk. The only thing we’re missing is my mom making us chocolate chip pancakes while we watch Saturday morning cartoons. And, even though you tricked me into eating a whole pomegranate yesterday, knowing full well that it would bind me to this place forever, it’s more peaceful here than working in Portland would be. But, hey, if you don’t want me, there’s no need to tell me twice. I can have Hermes bring me home again until you need me.”

  I spun around as his hand shot out, wrapping around my arm, eyes glowing beneath a mask of pain.

  “Stay, please.”

  I paused a moment before reaching up, curling my hand around his cheek as he shivered, bristles rough against my fingertips. “She’ll come back eventually, Hades. Just give her time.”

  “I don’t know if-”

  “She will, and if I ever see that Prometheus guy again, I’m going to punch his face in.”

  “Get in line.” He took a couple of deep, shaky breaths. “Don’t take a soul without asking me first. You’re here to write, and until the spirit world realizes that it’s open season on you again, it’s not your place to do my job for me. Speaking of which, how’s the story coming?” He asked, all business again as my hand fell away from his face.

  “There hasn’t been a lot of new material since Persephone went to Portland. She basically works, comes home to Prometheus and Maddy, eats two-sometimes three-meals a day, sleeps, and repeat.”

  “She hangs out with Sarah, too.”

  “The more she does that and ignores me, the less chance I have to do any real digging into who she is now.”

  “If she remembered little snippets of our lives together here, that might help to bring her back.”

  “I just can’t believe that she has to marry him to break the curse.”

  “That won’t happen,” Hades said, jaw firmly set, and I shrugged, laying the blanket over the back of a chair as I sat down, smoothing my hands across the scooped wood tabletop.

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “I won’t let it happen, because her love for him isn’t real, as I’ve tried to tell her multiple times now.”

  I winced, shaking my head. “You know, there were probably other ways you could’ve gone about that instead of insulting her to her face. Like Amy, she believes that what she has with him is the real deal, and if you ever want her back, I’d suggest a slightly lighter touch. Thanks for beating Prometheus up, by the way. That made for a really great chapter.”

  He scowled. “Glad to know that my suffering is your literary gain.”

  “Hey, you told me to write about your life,” I said, hands in front of me like I was getting ready to ward him off. “This is a major part of it and besides, you waited two years to approach her at all, so the only person you should be blaming right now is yourself. Honestly, though, those stake-outs with you were more than a little creepy. You could’ve told me all I needed to know yourself.”

  “What would be the fun in that? It was like having a side-kick. A really talkative, annoying side-kick who questioned everything I did.”

  “You almost kidnapped her dog!”

  “But I didn’t.”

  “Yeah, because I was there to talk you out of it and-oh.” The realization hit me like a Mack truck and I pressed my lips together. “I want to believe that you’re capable of doing the right thing yourself, not because others make you do it.”

  He smiled, not without a tinge of malice. “I’m afraid that my decisions, where Persephone is concerned, are not always the most rational. Having you there with me was like having another subconscious, one who wasn’t so invested in the outcome.”

  I felt my mouth pop open as servants brought us fresh fruit and platters of pancakes, laying them on the table before retreating again.

  “You don’t think that I care what happens to her? She’s my friend, Hades.”

  You can be such an asshole sometimes.

  “Who you gave up on the second she was out of the picture. I had to drag you, kicking and screaming, with me to those stake-outs, Emma. If you were even half as dedicated to bringing her home as I am, you would’ve tried harder from day one.”

  I stared at him as my mind tried to think of the right words to say in response other than you insufferable jerk-face, which I had a feeling wouldn’t go over well with him. I couldn’t tell him how I really felt about the Persephone-situation, especially because doing so would reveal how I felt about another unnamed person in the room, which I know was stupid because it would never happen. I hadn’t lied about their relationships to me. Persephone was like a big sister, mother and employer all rolled into one, but she was happy in Portland now…truly happy…so wasn’t I allowed a chance to find it for myself?

  Except that she’s married to him.

  I hated how the conflicting emotions mashed themselves together in my gut, and the one person I would usually turn to for comfort and advice was currently living cursed in my hometown while I crushed hard on her husband, who I’d grown close to over the past three years constantly working together.

  ‘Homewrecker’ wasn’t a title I wanted to add to my short list of accomplishments.

  “You’re right. She’s your wife, and I’m just the hired help. Speaking of which, I should get back to work.”

  I lay my napkin on the table as his eyes narrowed.

  “There’s something different about you.”

  “I’m just tired.”

  “It’s eight o’clock in the morning, Emma. I know for a fact that you woke up at seven, same as you do every morning.”

  “Okay, then I’m tired of you. Not everyone likes to be chastised before they’ve had breakfast. Or coffee.”

  On cue, a servant girl returned with a steaming mug, setting it in front of me and I thanked her, wrapping a hand around the base. “Yell at me some more when I’m actually awake, okay?” I stood, cradling the coffee and last-minute plate of food as I slung my blanket over one shoulder. “Have a good morning, Hades, and when you have more material for me, send it my way.”

  I turned to leave and found him blocking my path. I yipped and screeched to a halt, giving him the best bitch face I could muster.

  “Dammit, Hades! I’ve told you not to use your super-speed around me! Especially when I’m carrying breakable objects.”

  He reached forward, ripping the plate and cup from my hands before stepping closer, crowding my personal bubble.

  “I know you miss her too, Emma, but why are you pushing me away?”

  “I’ve been accused of caring too much and not caring enough in less than a few minutes, and it’s a little grating, okay? Make up your damned mind.” I huffed out a frustrated breath as he smiled, framing my face between his hands.

  “Hold still. This will only take a minute.”

  I jerked myself away like a cat in water, putting some space between us as he stalked his way back to me.

  “Ah hell no. You’re not freaking my fricking mind!” I said, holding my balled-up fists in front of me, and he sighed heavily.

  “I’m not going to fight you, but
I can’t have my employee keeping things from me, either.”

  I jumped back, Super-Mario style. “Oh, that’s rich, Hades. I’ve bounced back and forth between here and Portland, going from sorting souls for you to becoming a glorified biographer, and you can’t even give me the courtesy of leaving my thoughts alone? You’re unbelievable. Friends don’t do this to each other.”

  “Which am I, hmm? Your friend, or employer?”

  “Neither at the moment, just the unfortunate bastard who’s dangerously close to being punched in the nether regions.”

  “This is ridiculous,” he muttered as he yanked me to him with very little effort, twisting my hands behind my back. “I don’t know why you insist on making things more difficult for yourself, but I don’t care, because I’ll find out the truth one way or another.”

  I felt his fingertips whisper across my forehead as I tested the hold, groaning when it didn’t budge.

  Just think about nothing, or anything else. Potato, spinach, mushroom, tomato, green chilies, eggs, ketchup, cheese…

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m trying to remember my mom’s garbage omelet recipe. Is it distracting you yet?”

  “No.” He growled the word, pushing more insistently against my skin as I gasped, feeling his power snake its way through my head.

  Mix all the ingredients together, toss them into a frying pan for about eight minutes, or until the egg isn’t runny anymore, flip it onto a plate and…and…dammit, what’s the next step? Don’t think about the feel of him pressed up against you or the woodsy way he smells. Sprinkle cheese over the top before kissing him as his arms wound around me…

  NO!

  He released me as I stumbled away, breathing hard like I’d just run a marathon and he smiled, but it was pitying in nature and made my stomach hurt.

  “Oh, Emma. That’s never going to happen.”

  “Don’t you dare do that to me ever again, not if you want to keep all ten digits.”

  “Is that why you’re less than enthusiastic about Persephone returning? Because you like me?”

  I tried looking anywhere else but directly at him, feeling stupid on so many levels, not just for wanting something I knew I couldn’t have, but for getting caught in the moment of weakness.

  “Taking away her happiness because you feel entitled to her doesn’t make it right.”

  “She’s my wife,” he hissed, running a hand through his hair. “And she’s with him because he cursed her.”

  “How long is it going to take you to realize that she might never be un-cursed? Have you thought of that yet? She loves him, Hades, despite what he did to her.”

  “It’s a lie.”

  “So are my cover stories whenever my parents call to check in with me, and I can’t tell them that I’m about to travel to the Underworld where I’ll be out of touch for a couple of weeks. She and I live this weird double-life now, but it doesn’t mean that her story can’t end happily.”

  “No, I won’t accept that I can’t. I have to try to bring her home because doing nothing isn’t an option.”

  Of course. Duty before decency.

  I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, picking my dishes back up. “Then I’ll be in my room.”

  He made a move to grab me as I brushed past him, but I gave him the meanest look I could muster and after a moment, his hand fell away again.

  “I’m sorry, Emma.”

  “No, you’re not, so please don’t pretend otherwise. You don’t get to do whatever you just did to me, Hades. Being a god, my employer, or hell even my friend isn’t an excuse, so don’t use it. You don’t have the right to infiltrate my mind, because my soul isn’t yours yet.”

  I looked back at him-really looked at the way his eyes glowed like hot coals in the faint light and kicked myself. Of all the people to be attracted to, despite how close we’d been lately, I had to pick the one guy who was absolutely unavailable for all of eternity.

  Let him go.

  I walked away slowly, clutching my mug to my chest as I muttered and fought with myself, even as I felt his eyes drilling a hole through my back.

  Chapter Six

  “I’m sending you to Portland,” Hades said, setting his fork aside as I glowered into my wine cup.

  Six days of awkward silence, coupled with his renewed attempts at getting Persephone back meant that I spent more time than usual sulking around my rooms, something I knew he hadn’t failed to notice.

  “Not that it matters what I think because you’ve made that abundantly clear already-but I would prefer to stay and work from here for now.”

  He laughed, folding his hands on the table in front of him. “Oh, please, Emma. You’ve been itching to be away from this place-and me-for a few days now, admit it. And besides that, I need you to do some reconnaissance work for me.”

  I picked over my next words carefully, ignoring how many times my mind went down a fight-provoking road. I couldn’t do that with him-not now. “I know you think that it makes sense for me to get closer to her since right now, she’s not exactly fond of you, but I’d rather not.”

  He leaned back in his chair. “You’re not the only one who needs space to think.”

  Ouch.

  “What is there to think about? I’ll work for you until the book is finished, and then you’ll never see or hear from me ever again. That’s what us mortals like to call a win-win.”

  “Emma.” He ran a weary hand across his face. “I didn’t say what I did to hurt you. I don’t feel the same way about you as you do me, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you. I just need Cora here again, and everything will go back to normal.”

  “So, you want me to do what, exactly? Convince her that you’re a good person? That she should trust you? Just admit it-your entire relationship was built around this idea that if you didn’t have something, but wanted it, you should just take it. She’s content in Portland and doesn’t need you for that anymore, so leave her be.”

  “I need her here by my side, where she belongs.”

  “That’s fine, but I’m not going to help you do it. I had four souls find me last night alone, and eight the day prior. You can’t keep them at bay anymore, and I don’t expect you to continue our training, not with your current predicament. So, I’m returning to Portland because I want to, not because you’re trying to order me around. Plus, being around you when you’re this mopey is a serious mood kill. It’s taking a toll on my wildly optimistic outlook on life.”

  He quirked an eyebrow at me. “Since when?”

  “Since when…what?”

  “Come on, Emma. I’m not the one who’s had trays of food sent to my rooms because I was afraid of a face-to-face encounter. Also, you’re the least optimistic person I’ve ever met, including myself.”

  “I had work to do-”

  “Every meal? Every single day this week?”

  “-and I’ve had some time to gain perspective. Snap me out of a victim mentality.”

  He steepled his fingers together. “I’m glad to hear it, but you have to stop avoiding people when they make you a little uncomfortable. While we’re on the subject of being a victim, though, when was the last time you spoke to Barb?”

  I groaned as I dropped my head to the table. “I wish you’d stop thinking of her as this evil-souled bitch. She’s actually nice when she wants to be.”

  “If she were friends with anyone less self-conscious than yourself, my opinion might be different, but she takes advantage of you, and if you’re going to Portland, I’d like to have your word that you won’t try to get in touch with her.”

  I drained my cup, filling it again. “It’s funny how you think you have the right to tell me what to do.”

  “I do because I’m-”

  “Hades, why is there a pint-sized mutt running from Brom? I thought it was an oversized rat and-oh, hello.” A man skid to a halt just inside the dining room, limpid blue eyes scanning me curiously.

  “Poseidon, thi
s is Emma,” Hades said, snapping his fingers as Bailey appeared in my lap, trembling and wet, with crazy cow-licks sticking up all over her body and in the distance, a pathetic, frustrated howl shook the dust from the rafters.

  “Oh, right-your human. You never said how pretty she was,” he said, leaning casually against the back of a chair as I rolled my eyes, taking a bite of chicken. He smiled, toying with the beads woven into his long blonde dreadlocks. “I don’t suppose you want to come back to my place and check out my aquarium?”

  “Not really, thanks,” I said sweetly, as he blinked back at me, stunned.

  “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever been flat-out refused before. It feels…strange. What about my weapons collections, huh? If you’re a good girl, I’ll even let you hold some of them.”

  I dabbed at the corner of my mouth with a napkin as Hades watched the interaction, lips twitching.

  “You know, I just want to eat dinner right now, maybe go for a walk around the indoor lake, or even visit Persephone’s gardens, but I appreciate the offer. Hades is free, though, if you’re desperate for company.”

  “My treasure vault, then,” he said, leaning towards me, insistent. “I have a rather vast collection of diamond and ruby necklaces, rings and bracelets. One of them would look lovely on you.”

  “I said no thank you.”

  “What about-”

  “That’s enough,” Hades said, standing. I collapsed against my seat cushion, feeling the tail end of dizziness subside. “You’re welcome in my home, brother, but not when you bother my guests, and if you ever use magic on her again, you’ll answer to me. What did you need?”

  Poseidon watched me as I stood, scooping Bailey up under an arm before turning back to Hades. “Mother is creating a new island in the South Pacific. I need a place to crash for a while until she’s done.”

  “Very well. But you’re not allowed to relocate any marine life to the lake or-”

  “Already done. Sorry. Oh, and it’s now a saltwater lake so, surprise!”

  “Emma.”