Before I Fell

by Brandy Greeley

  You beat the odds before and you’ll do it again, so stop feeling so goddamned sorry for yourself and think!

  I had a what-would-Hades-to moment where I considered every avenue and every possibility, eventually settling on the fact that I would see him again-hopefully soon-and we’d work out a plan together, just like last time.

  If he survives the initial attack.

  He will-he’s tougher than you give him credit for.

  I leaned my head back, watching the clock on the skull and crossbones mantel chime once every hour on the hour, listening for any signs of life on the other side of the door-any hints that Kronos had returned, or that the castle wasn’t as empty as I assumed it was. It was difficult, though, to stay still for so long when I knew my future was uncertain and conditional on Hades and his men being able to defeat Kronos and his Furies…

  “WHERE IS SHE?”

  BOOM.

  I scrambled to my feet as I heard Kronos thunder down the hall seconds before my doors burst to splinters, chunks of wood raining down on me and he surged forward, wrapping a hand around my throat as he tossed me onto the floor.

  “WHAT DID YOU DO?”

  “I don’t understand the questi-”

  He didn’t wait for an explanation, just squeezed, until I saw little black dots dance across my vision, my hands pawing desperately at him, trying to dislodge him.

  “You little bitch you warned him!”

  Does that mean that Hades is…oh, thank goodness.

  “No, I can’t. You blocked-” It was incredibly difficult to breathe as his hold tightened and I kicked and thrashed against any soft part of him I could reach, desperate to hurt him like he was hurting me. He growled and picked me up, slamming me into the fireplace, again and again, rocks and pieces of cement littering the floor, but it didn’t matter because there was a small, indiscernible part of myself that knew I was moments from death, even as I felt my spine break under the pressure.

  “They were READY FOR US-waiting for the right moment to ambush my men as we were setting up to ambush THEM! I should kill you where you stand, you pathetic piece of shit!” He slammed me one more time and I gasped, losing feeling in my arms and legs as he released me, letting me slither to the floor in a boneless heap.

  “My men are dead BECAUSE OF YOU!”

  As long as Hades and Persephone are okay, it doesn’t matter what happens to me. He heard me…

  A single tear escaped, sliding down my cheek as I watched Kronos grab the cedar mantelpiece, ripping it from the wall before standing next to me, holding it above his head.

  Please, let this be painless.

  “See you in Hell,” he snarled.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, heard the wood whistle through the air, then drifted into nothing.

  “Is this going to become a habit, Emma?”

  I jerked at the fingertips caressing my brow, sitting up too quickly.

  “Ugh. My head.”

  “Duh, silly. That’s bound to happen when you’re killed by a solid piece of wood at immortal speeds.”

  Hera propped some pillows behind my back as I folded my hands in my lap, letting her continue to dab at my forehead with a damp cloth.

  “It’s nice to see you again, but I’m almost afraid to ask: where am I?”

  She shrugged, dipping the cloth in a bowl of water again before wringing it out. “Olympus, of course. I couldn’t take you back to the Underworld, not in its current state.”

  “Hades, Hermes, Persephone?”

  “They’re fine, Emma. A little unbearable right now, going on and on about their victory over Kronos, but no one is worse for wear. My brother owes you a great debt, by the way. We all do.”

  “All I did was think that it would be a shame if Hades died.”

  “Give yourself a little more credit than that, okay? He heard you when Kronos left. If the Underworld hadn’t already been on alert after what happened on the beach, something might’ve been missed, but you were the catalyst.”

  I smiled weakly, pushing her hand away as she brought the cloth closer again. “Yay. One final act of bravery from me before Kronos surrendered my soul to the afterlife. At least everyone is safe and in one piece.”

  “You’re not dead, silly girl! Well, not anymore. I saved you again.”

  I rolled my eyes at her proud, smug expression. “The number of favors I owe you-”

  “Oh, no, this one was free. Hades owes me now.”

  “Thank you, Hera, though Kronos is bound to be a little, well, peeved when he learns that I’m not dead and on my way to him for eternal damnation.”

  “Right, about that. Simone!”

  A woman entered the room, blood covering one half of her face as I eeped and slid back against my pillows as far as I could.

  “I know, gory. She died in a car crash, but for our purposes, she’ll do. Simone, what’s your name?”

  “Emma.”

  “And how did you die?”

  “Kronos broke my spine and smashed my skull in with a wooden beam.”

  “And where do you deserve to go?”

  “Tartarus.”

  “Hera…” She couldn’t do this, not for me.

  “She was going to go to Tartarus no matter what we did, and Kronos won’t know it’s not you. After a little makeover, that is.” She waved her hand and the woman’s features morphed, hair lengthening and darkening as her clothes changed to match mine. It was like looking into a macabre mirror. “What do you think?”

  “It’s weird, and I think I need to lay down again.”

  “You can go, Simone. Thank you.”

  Other-me exited and I drew the blankets up around my shoulders. “He’ll see straight through it, you know.”

  She shook her head, curls bouncing around her shoulders. “No, he won’t. Not at first at least, and by the time he does realize that the swap happened, you’ll be safe in the Underworld where he can’t touch you.”

  “You can’t guarantee my safety, especially once he realizes that he’s been deceived.”

  “But I can.”

  I turned my torso towards the speaker, who strolled towards me through shafts of sunlight filtering into the room from dozens of stained-glass windows. Hera smiled and excused herself as Hades gathered me in his arms, protesting when I tried to stand.

  “I thought you couldn’t be here because of Zeus-”

  “Shh, it’s alright, Emma. Hera pulled some strings with him so that I could be. It’s temporary, of course, and I’m sure he’s waiting anxiously for me to leave again, but I had to see you.”

  “Hades…” Fresh tears pooled in the corners of my eyes as he brushed them away, cupping my face in his hands. “I’m sorry for everything.”

  “As much as it pains me to say this, had you not gone to Tartarus, we could all be dead with Kronos sitting on my throne.”

  “It was my book that gave him the idea to attack you in the first place,” I said miserably and saw him frown. I shifted, swinging my legs over the side of the chaise lounge.

  “He found the USB-the one I was using to store my story and notes on. I knew I should’ve kept it in a more secure location, but that’s why he kidnapped…Sam! Ohmygod no!” I dropped my head in my hands, tears dribbling between my fingers to splash to the tile floor below. “He was there because of me, and I just abandoned him! Hades, I have to go back, I have to get him.”

  “Love, stop crying,” Hades said, trying to pry my hands away from my face. “He wasn’t really there.”

  “What?” My gaze snapped to his as he handed me his handkerchief, pulling out a cellphone.

  “Call him.”

  “I can’t because he’s in Tartarus. Probably dead now, because of me.”

  I’m so sorry, Sam. You didn’t deserve that.

  “You’re not listening,” he said, grabbing my shoulders in a vice-like grip. “Kronos tricked you into thinking he had Sam, but he never did. Now call him.”

  I watched him for a moment, running a shaky
hand across my face. Could he be right? My fingers felt numb as I dialed the number, pressing the phone to my ear on the first ring.

  Pick up, pick up…

  “Hello?”

  “Sam? Is that you?”

  “Where the hell have you been, Emma? I’ve tried calling your cellphone at least twenty times!”

  Oh, thank GODDESS.

  “I know and I’m sorry, but I have crappy reception here. Where are you?”

  I heard pots clanging together and, in the distance, Terminator 4.

  “At home, of course. Are you alright? You sound weird.”

  I glanced up at the ceiling, fighting a fresh wave of tears as Hades squeezed my shoulder in sympathy.

  He’s safe.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I just needed to hear your voice.”

  “Did you want to get together for dinner tonight? I was going to make spaghetti, but that can wait until tomorrow night instead.”

  “I’m not in Portland right now, but when I am, I’d love to. My treat.”

  Hades tapped a finger to his watch.

  “Sam, I have to go, but I miss you.”

  “Miss you too, Ems. Don’t do that to me again, okay?”

  “Promise.”

  I handed the phone back to Hades and crumpled into a ball, rocking back and forth. “I went there for nothing.”

  “No, you did it because you thought your boyfriend was in trouble. You showed more courage than all of my men put together and don’t you dare forget that,” he said, caressing a hand over my hair again and again as I relaxed into the touch.

  “I’m ready to go home,” I whispered, eyes drooping. It’d been one hell of a day.

  “Home or…home?” Hades asked tentatively, helping me to my feet where I swayed once, but managed to remain mostly upright.

  “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

  “Home it is, then. I’ll have Persephone make up the day bed for you in our room, just for tonight. Come on, let's go.”

  “Awe, leaving so soon?” Hera said, arms full of flowers.

  “The sooner the better. Thank you, sister,” Hades said, leaning in to give her cheek a quick kiss.

  “Hera…” I paused, embracing her. “I can’t begin to thank you for saving my life again. You didn’t have to do it but did anyway, and I sincerely hope that it’s the last time I’ll ever need it.”

  She pursed her lips together, tapping a foot against the floor. “For a human, you’re startlingly reckless. If you take one piece of advice from me before you leave, let it be this: if you’re so desperate to die, there are other ways to go about it than whatever it is you’re currently trying. Please be more careful in the future or one of these days, your death will be permanent.” She gave me one last squeeze and stepped back, eyes tight.

  “As long as Kronos stays on his side of the Universe, I’ll be fine. The rest is manageable.”

  “Let’s hope that my little deception works, then.”

  “We’re leaving,” Hades said, wrapping an arm around my waist. I could feel the tension in his hold-he didn’t appreciate what Hera said, not one bit.

  “Just think about it, for your sake,” Hera said, and I nodded, closing my eyes as Hades poofed us away.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The Underworld

  “No beach this morning, doctor’s orders,” Persephone said, fluffing the pillows behind my back as I sighed, tapping furiously at the keys on my laptop. Two weeks post-Kronos and they still treated me like I was made of glass.

  “Seph, this is ridiculous. I’m fine, so you guys can chill and stop worrying about me so much. Also, please tell Hades to drop those stupid shields around the castle. Every time I step outside it feels like my skin is going to peel off.”

  She smiled, filling Bailey’s food bowl. “You know I can’t do that, Emma. Hades takes security to an extreme level when someone in his family is threatened.”

  “Awe, he cares? That’s so sweet.” I put my hand over my heart dramatically and she snorted, rolling her eyes as she coaxed the roses dotting my room back to life.

  “Who are these form?”

  “Poseidon. I think he feels guilty about dragging me into Kronos’ business in the first place, and rightly so, that little jerk.”

  “I need to be kidnapped more often,” she mused, plopping down beside me on the bed. “So, what’s on the schedule for today? And more importantly, can I join you?”

  “What about work? The good people of Portland aren’t going to find your unique arrangements anywhere else on Earth, you know. Besides, you need to give me something to write about!” I wasn’t going to say, ‘I actually need a little space from both you and Hades right now’, because I knew it would hurt her fragile feelings and I didn’t want to be that person. Not to mention the fact that it probably wasn’t wise to insult a goddess to her face.

  “Hades says that I need to be your nurse and-”

  “Guard?” I retorted, sliding out of bed and wrapping a light sweater around my shoulders.

  “Playmate,” she corrected. “And when he gives me a direct order like that, well, I can’t refuse, can I?”

  “Where is he, anyway?”

  She fidgeted, an awkward movement I didn’t fail to notice. “He’s bouncing around a bit today between the beach and Portland, taking care of business. You know what it’s like.”

  My eyes narrowed. “He’s not, by any chance, picking up my slack, is he? You know, the work I should be doing right now? The work he won’t let me do?”

  “Emma, it’s for your own good. You don’t know what your death did to him, what it’s still doing to him. He feels intensely guilty that he let you go to Kronos at all, so please give him a break. He doesn’t want to risk your life again over something he’s more than capable of handling himself.”

  “No, that’s not acceptable,” I said, pushing Bailey into her kennel as Persephone followed, fluttering over me. “This is something we did together-something that he hired me to help him with, and I’ll be damned if he keeps me soft and useless in my rooms because he’s scared. Screw that.”

  “Emma, please be reasonable,” she said anxiously as I stormed into the hallway. “This isn’t forever, just until he thinks you’re ready to do the work again.”

  “There have been plenty of moments over the past four years when thought that I wasn’t ready to do this, and it pissed me off as much then as it does right now. Move.”

  Persephone punched a hand into the rough staccato wall, blocking my path. “You need this time away from all of the chaos that’s happened over the past few days, and don’t you dare try to deny it. You’re wrung out, Emma, and it’s not weakness to admit that. So why are you being so difficult?”

  I gave her a level look, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “I know you helped with the souls for ten months, Persephone, but you weren’t born to do it and I-”

  “Don’t you dare say that you ‘have more experience than me’ because that’s a bullshit excuse for brushing me off. I know what the souls do to you because I’ve been there, and you’re trying to do too much at once, again. Let him handle them.”

  I thought briefly about pushing her aside, but she was more than seventy-one times my age, immortal and had the strength to prove it. “I really don’t want to fight with you, but-”

  “Good, then don’t. Now, are you going to go back to your room by yourself, or do I need to pick you up and carry you there?”

  “You were more fun when you were cursed,” I said after a minute and she smiled as I stomped to my room, slamming the door in her face.

  “I know you’re angry with me-”

  “Understatement of the year,” I mumbled, sucking sausage fat from my fork tines.

  “But put yourself in my shoes, just for a minute,” Hades continued, sitting back in his chair as he cradled a steaming mug of coffee. “When Kronos sent word that he’d murdered you…” One flash of lightning in his eyes, one squeeze of his fist and the mug shattered
, liquid and bits of ceramic spraying Persephone and me.

  “You’ve really got to stop doing that,” she said, irritated as she signaled for a maid to clean the mess up.

  I stayed silent, lip quivering as his intense gaze bore a hole through my skull.

  “It’s not incompetence, or lack of faith in your abilities, that I’m choosing to ground you spiritually. If you end up in my enemy’s hands again, your death will be permanent, and there’s nothing I can do to reverse it. Do you understand?”

  Persephone caught my eye and mouthed the words I told you so as I looked down at the cracks in the stone beneath my feet.

  “That won’t happen, because of Hera-”

  “And how long, exactly, do you think her ruse will last? A hundred years? Maybe less? Every time you help a soul, you run the risk of alerting Kronos to the fact that you’re not currently in Tartarus being personally tortured by him. That’s not a risk I’m willing to take, Emma.”

  “So what am I supposed to do here if I can’t help you?”

  “I think your family deserves a visit from you, all things considered,” Hades said. “Spend time with them and Sam, rest in Portland, and when I’m ready, I’ll send Hermes to get you.”

  “But…” Didn’t I want the space? And if he handled my half of the soul load, it meant I had the chance to recharge. Shouldn’t I be jumping for joy? “You just returned to us,” I said to Persephone instead, who reached out, intertwining her fingers through mine. “I was hoping to spend more time with you.”

  “As you’ve pointed out, I’ve been neglecting my shop because of all the, eh, the excitement around here lately. Come see me during normal business hours, and we’ll chat,” she said, squeezing my hand.

  “Did I hear someone mention travel?” Hermes materialized across the table from me and I jumped in surprise, the room disappearing for a split second. It felt like I’d just walked through a giant vat of goop-time slowing and speeding up again in the same breath, and I clutched the edge of the table, tilting forward.