Dirty Bastard

by Jessica Clare

  “Not advice,” Gage says slowly. “Well, actually, I guess it is some advice. Like I said, I know you. You’re better at watchin’ people and seeing how they react than taking the initiative yourself. You’re not good at sharin’, and that’s what chicks like. They want a guy that tells them exactly how they feel so they can figure out where they stand. You hide too much of yourself. Won’t kill ya to open up to her is all I’m sayin’.”

  I narrow my eyes at Gage. “Last time you told me to make her thirsty. Now you’re telling me to pour my heart out. Which is it?”

  He laughs and shakes his head at me. “Time for making her thirsty has done come and gone already, brother. You two are practically living together. Don’t think I don’t see her sneaking out of your trailer and how often your car is gone at night. That’s fine. I’m just sayin’ that you need to change tactics. You’ve got her. Now if you want to keep her, you need to share a bit about yourself. I know that’s hard for you, but it’s gonna be what you need to do.”

  I scowl. He doesn’t know shit about me and Lexi . . . but he does know a lot about how to get women to crawl after him without a bit of effort on his part. Lexi knows how I feel about her, though. I’ve made it obvious I’m there for her whenever she needs me, haven’t I? But then I think about all the things I haven’t said to her.

  I haven’t told her I love her.

  I haven’t told her that she’s been mine since the moment I laid eyes on her.

  Gage is right. I am holdin’ back, because Lexi has been throwing all kinds of hints that she’s not a fan of commitment. She won’t know how I feel unless I tell her, though. I grunt acknowledgment of his words. “She might hate me spewin’ feelings at her. She’s not a normal girl.”

  “‘Normal’ is definitely not a word I’d use to describe her,” Gage admits with a grin, and then slaps my shoulder. “But I ain’t never met a girl that didn’t like knowing how things stood. Might as well tell her all the stuff that’s eating at your gut so she can decide what she wants. Put all your cards out on the table instead of hiding ’em up your sleeve like you always do.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “You think hard on it, and then you tell her how crazy she makes you.” He grins and rubs a hand down his beard, then straightens his tie. “Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got a woman to woo myself.”

  Tell Lexi how crazy she makes me. Show her just how much she drives me wild.

  Yeah, I can do that.

  Instead of heading back to my place after the meeting, I head over to Lexi’s guesthouse. I pull up and head to the door. Through the windows, I can hear the low, warbly, twangy music she uses for her yoga sessions. She might be filming another test episode for her app and online channel that she wants to launch. Lexi’s been excited about her online business and working nonstop, trying to perfect routines and dialogue, website content, and a number of other things that could help her make her business competitive from the start. I know she’s busy, but I don’t want to wait until tonight to see her. I need her now.

  I keep thinking about what Gage said. You’ve got her. Now if you want to keep her, you need to share a bit about yourself.

  I can do that, even if the thought makes me feel naked. Maybe Gage is right. Maybe I’m not as good at sharin’ as I think I am. Maybe I’m all clammed up and I haven’t let Lexi know what I think about the situation. I asked her to marry me, but . . . maybe it ain’t the same in her eyes as tellin’ her I love her.

  Whatever it is, she’s gonna know today how I feel. I’m gonna hold nothing back.

  I knock on the door, but there’s no answer. Her music whines through the air, and I knock again, then test the doorknob. It’s unlocked. I let myself in, and the moment I do, I can hear the shower running.

  Perfect.

  I kick off my boots and toss ’em aside in the living room, passing by her computer, which is busy compressing a video. I strip off my shirt before I enter the bathroom and push the door wide open. She’s there in the shower, her lithe body under the spray, her hands in her wet hair. The sight of her makes me hungry to touch her, because she’s got the greatest ass I’ve ever seen, tight and rounded and perfect above strong thighs and long, elegant legs. Goddamn. I groan at the sight of her pretty ass.

  She turns around and jumps, a scream erupting from her throat. Lexi plasters her back against the tile, her eyes wide, and it takes her a moment to realize it’s me. “Oh god, Knox. You scared the shit out of me.” Her hand goes to her chest, and she sucks in a deep breath.

  I scared her more than I realized. I’m surprised. “Who did you think it was gonna be?”

  “I wasn’t expecting anyone. That’s the point.” She sticks her tongue out at me and then turns back to the water. “Now that you’ve scared ten years off of my life, can you let me finish my shower?”

  Oh, I’ll let her finish all right. I strip off my pants, kick them aside, and then do the same with my underwear. Once I’m fully naked, I push the glass door of the shower aside and move in behind her. Lexi’s skin is warm and wet, and she glances over her shoulder at me as she soaps up one arm. “You want me to move away from the spray?”

  “Nope.” I put my hands on her waist and pull her in closer, letting my now achingly hard cock brush against her backside. I press my mouth to her neck, kissing her slick skin. She smells like flowers and soap, and she shifts against me as I hold her, ticklish.

  Love touching her. Love the way her body fits against mine. I think about what Gage said, how I need to vomit my feelings at her, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Not quite yet.

  Gonna make her thirsty, just like Gage suggested.

  “Been thinkin’ about this body all day long,” I murmur, sliding a hand to her front. Her pussy’s still shaved and bare from her “surprise” the other day, and I slide my fingers against her folds, seeking out her warmth. “It’s been far too long since I touched you.”

  “What, like two hours?” Her laugh is breathless and ends on a gasp as I brush my fingers over her clit. She whimpers and places her palms against the tile, bracing herself even as she spreads her thighs wider and pushes her ass out, inviting my touch.

  Fuck yeah, that’s pretty. I love how eager she is for my hands, how quick she is to get aroused. She tells me that some of it is the pregnancy making her needy, but I don’t care. I love that she’s as addicted as I am. “You gonna push that ass out a little further so I can taste your pussy?”

  Her little moan tells me how much my words excite her, and she does just what I ask, thrusting her hips out and leaning forward until she’s practically bent over in the shower, her cunt open and glistening, wet and ready for my mouth. Perfect. I get down on my knees and grip her hips, pushing them apart just a bit more before I descend upon that sweet flesh, burying my mouth against her folds. I’m ravenous for her.

  Lexi cries out, and I can feel her body tense as my tongue thrusts against the heat of her core. She’s already slick with need, and I push my tongue into her heat, fucking her with it like I want to fuck her with my cock. She tastes so good, and with her body like this, I can feel everything she does, every ripple of her muscle. I devour her, lapping at her cunt and thrusting with my tongue before teasing away again. I taste her everywhere, use my tongue in every way possible, until she’s rocking back against my mouth and crying out, needing more.

  I don’t want her to come just yet, though. As much as I love wringing a hard orgasm from her, today I want her wild and clawing up my back, as desperate to come as I can make her. When she comes, I want us to come together. So I take her to the brink and then I pull away just before she goes over the edge.

  Her snarl of response is as pleasing as her sighs are. “Get back down there, Knox. I’m so close.”

  “I’ll give you your orgasm when I’m good and ready to give it to you,” I tell her, and give her spread pussy a light slap. Not hard,
just enough to let her know that I’m in control. She makes a choked sound as I get back to my feet and pull her against me, claiming her mouth again.

  Her arms go around my neck and she presses her body up against me, her hips rolling against mine. Her leg curves around my calf and she clings to me, our mouths locked together.

  “Please,” she whispers.

  Love it when she begs me, her voice all soft. There’s a heated look in her eyes, and her mouth clings to mine with needy abandon. I skim a hand down her front, cupping one of her breasts, which have grown larger in the last month. “Please what, sweetheart? Please play with these?”

  Lexi whimpers, her eyes closing as I tease her nipples. I know her breasts are extremely sensitive, so I’m careful not to toy with them too much. I watch her for signals, and when she starts to arch against my hand, I move it away, sliding back between her thighs to play with her clit once more.

  Her hands move over me frantically, as if she’s dying to caress me like I’m doing to her but keeps gettin’ distracted. That’s all right, because half of my pleasure is just watchin’ her go wild in my arms. She’s panting as I touch her, and when I put my mouth to her neck and suck, her nails dig into my shoulders. “God, Knox, please. I need you inside me. Fill me up, baby.”

  Oh, I plan on it. “Give me your leg, sweetheart.”

  Her eyes gleam as I press her back against the tiles. The water from the shower’s pouring over my back, but I ignore it, far more interested in the woman in front of me than in getting clean. She lifts one leg with an elegant motion and hooks it over my arm. “You gonna stretch me hard, babe?”

  “Fuck yeah,” I growl. It’s one of my favorite things. Lexi’s flexible as hell and supple thanks to yoga, and once I found out how far she can lift her legs up, I’ve been fascinated with pushin’ her body to the limits. One of my favorite poses is to put her leg on my shoulder. It lets me push into her deep, and she loves it because it opens her wide for my cock. I slowly ease her leg up, inch by inch, watching her reaction. She presses back against the tile, bracing herself as I skim her foot up my arm and then rest it on my shoulder. She’s like a ballet dancer when it comes to this, her leg a smooth line, and I skim my hand down her skin. “How’s that, sweetheart?”

  “It’d be better if you were inside me,” she tells me, lifting her chin up in silent demand. “Or are you going to just tease me all night, Knox Price?”

  I love it when she says my name like I’m some naughty schoolboy. Makes me all hot and bothered. I’ve got her stretched wide now, though, and she’s mine to do with as I like. With her foot on my shoulder, I slide my hand between us and graze a finger up and down her slick folds. “What’s wrong with teasin’ you?”

  Lexi moans and her nails dig into my skin again. “Makes me want you too much.”

  “No such thing.” But I’m achin’ to be inside her, so I shift my weight and move forward, pressing the head of my cock to the entrance of her cunt. I push in, just a little, just enough to breach her, and then cup her jaw in my hand. “Say that you’re mine, Lexi,” I demand. I want to own all of her, not just her body. I want her to say it as I thrust into her and claim her hard.

  “You’re mine, Lexi,” she parrots, and then makes a sound of protest when I pull back. “No, no, baby, wait. Come back.”

  “Tell me you want me,” I murmur, stroking my thumb over her jaw. It’s agony not to thrust into her and claim her as roughly as I want to, but I need to hear her say the words.

  “I’m yours,” Lexi tells me in a trembling voice. “All yours.”

  “Tell me you want my cock deep inside you.”

  She moans. “Oh god, do I want that.”

  “Tell me you belong to me, Lexi, and I’ll give it to you, as hard and fast as you want it.”

  Her moan turns into a whimper and she clings to me, her heel digging into my shoulder. “Oh, please, Knox—”

  “Tell me,” I demand, and lean in and claim her mouth. It presses her leg between us, presses my cock against the folds of her pussy, and I can hear the little sound of need she makes as I tongue her lips and then release her again. “Tell me,” I breathe against her mouth.

  “I’m yours,” Lexi tells me again. “All yours. I want you. I want everything. I—”

  I sink into her in one hard thrust that makes her utter a low cry, her words dying in her throat. Her eyes close and she tilts her head back, lost in the sensation of my cock deep inside her. I don’t want for her to relax, but build a punishing rhythm right away, pounding into her against the tiles. I’m claiming her with everything I am, and she loves it, her cries of delight ringing in my ears. Our bodies slam together as I pump into her. “Say it again,” I snarl between thrusts. “Say that you’re mine, Lexi.”

  “I belong to you,” she cries out, then, “Oh god, just don’t stop!”

  Her words make my body tighten with the need to release, but I won’t stop fucking her until she comes first. With every thrust, I spear her hard, pushing deep into her body. Her cries are full of tension, and as I speed up, I can feel her clenching around me. When her pussy begins to ripple with the onset of her orgasm, I let my own release explode out of me, and we come together, her cunt gripping me like a vise as I fill her with my seed.

  My Lexi.

  We’re both silent, panting, as we come down from the orgasm. I tangle my hand in her wet hair and hold her tight, letting her leg down from my shoulder as our bodies slide apart. She wobbles a little, her knees weak, and I keep an arm around her waist until I’m sure she’s got her footing. She leans against me, breathless, and nestles against my chest. “Wow. What’s gotten into you?” Her voice is pleased but curious. “I mean, not that I minded, but that was . . . intense.”

  I press a kiss to the top of her head. Now’s when I should tell her how I feel. Tell her that I love her and I want us to get married because I don’t want the baby to be saddled with the same stigma I had as a child. That I want her to be mine forever. She just said she was mine, after all.

  But I can’t force the words out of my throat. Instead, I keep thinking about how she wouldn’t say it on her own, only until I teased it out of her. Did she only say she was mine because she wanted my cock? I can’t be sure, and if I ask her now, she’ll get all skittish.

  “It’s nothing” is all I tell her. “Just missed you.”

  She chuckles and then squirms out of my grip. “Well, you’re going to make me late for my doctor’s appointment!”

  “Doctor’s appointment?” I ask, stepping back in the shower so she can take the spray.

  Lexi nods. “Yeah, I should be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat today. Want to come?”

  We get to hear that today? My throat grows tight. “More than anything.”

  “All right, then, it’s a date.” She winks at me and pumps a handful of body wash into her hand and begins to scrub her limbs.

  I can’t help but wonder if she was goin’ to invite me to the appointment if I hadn’t dropped by. Or am I already bein’ edged out of her life? Maybe she doesn’t want me around after all.

  Maybe she would be just fine without me. Maybe I’m the one that can’t live without her, and it doesn’t go both ways after all.

  Chapter 16

  Lexi

  Knox has been awfully quiet this afternoon. I glance over at him as we come out of the doctor’s office. He was as thrilled to hear the heartbeat of the baby as I was, so I don’t think that was it. There’s something off about his mood that I can’t quite put my finger on. Did I say something when we were in the shower that made him this quiet and pensive? I try to think back, but all I can picture is how forcefully he claimed me.

  And damn, it was good. I shiver just thinking about it.

  “Cold?” Knox asks, moving to my side of the truck to open my door for me. “You need a jacket?”

  “No, I’m good.” I should sto
p being a chicken and ask him what’s crawled up his ass, but what if I’m imagining things? He hasn’t been short with me, or rude. He’s just been quiet. Thoughtful. When is Knox not thoughtful, though? He’s always more watchful than the next guy. Maybe I’m reading him wrong. Maybe I’m looking for something to go haywire so I can bail out. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Feels . . . shitty.

  My stomach growls and I glance over at the pharmacy across the street. “Do you think they have sour gummy bears?”

  He looks over and shrugs. “They might. Want to go do a snack run?”

  “Do I ever.” I’m thinking Funyuns with chocolate sauce and all the sour candy I can find. My baby’s a junk-food lover, because I can’t get enough of processed garbage ever since I found out I was pregnant. “I think this is definitely your kid,” I tell him as he shuts the door to the truck and offers me his hand. “Because the thought of celery fills my gut with horror but pork rinds make me gleeful.”

  A hint of a smile crosses his face. “Pork rinds are good stuff. Don’t hate on those.”

  “I never liked them before,” I tell him as I slip my hand into his. I watch his face closely, but the smile doesn’t remain, and weirdly enough, I feel like crying. Something’s wrong between us and I’m not sure what it is. It might be nothing but hormones, but I can’t shake the feeling of dread.

  It follows me as we head into the pharmacy and hit up the snack aisle. I load up a handbasket with a little of everything. There’s a freezer nearby and my mouth waters at the thought of a frozen Snickers bar. “Can you check if they have candy in the fridge?”

  Knox nods and moves to the freezer, and I turn toward the hard candy. As I do, I can see several aisles over, and I catch sight of a familiar dark head that ducks down.

  My body goes cold. That . . . looked like Keith. It can’t be, though. He’s not here in San Antonio. He doesn’t know I moved here. He should be in Luka. I didn’t leave a forwarding address.