by M Gardner
Steven paced his room slowly, deep in thought. What had Ruby done today? Why was she acting friendly toward him now? He was convinced she was playing a trick on him, but she seemed so sincere. Maybe she was just being nice? Maybe…
Do not be fooled. She is doing it to lure you out. To destroy you. Do it first to save her the trouble!
Steven threw his hands up to his ears to try and block out the voice, but it kept droning on. He wanted to believe that Ruby was trying to be his friend, but part of him knew it couldn’t be true.
Everyone had hated him so much; how could Ruby all of a sudden like him?
Do not delude yourself.
Steven couldn’t help but think the voice was right. Either way, he knew he would have to put up with Ruby’s attempts at friendship tomorrow. He sat on his bunk, took a deep breath, and switched his laptop on.
A small part of him wished he didn’t have to.
When Ruby entered the classroom, everyone turned to her. There was an expectant mood in the air. Steven was already in his corner, and he stiffened when he saw her. Was she going to repeat yesterday’s actions?
Ruby walked forward, and as she drew near him, Robert hopped up and pulled out the chair next to his own. “Come sit at your regular spot, Ruby.” His voice was forced cheerfulness, and Ruby smiled and waved him off. With all eyes watching, Ruby walked across and sat down next to Steven once again.
Steven stared at her as she began to talk to him as if the situation were not completely insane. Steven answered her through his shock. Here she was, acting as if he was an old friend again! Why was she doing this? Was it some sort of sick joke?
But the more Steven considered it, the less he thought it could be true. If it was a sick joke, why was everyone so shocked at her actions? Surely, they couldn’t all be acting, could they?
They are acting. It’s all a little play. They will get you soon. Do it first!
Steven startled at the sound of the voice.
“Are you OK? You just kind of jumped all of a sudden,” Ruby asked, concern in her voice. Steven nodded without saying anything, wondering about her kindness.
I want to believe it’s a joke, he thought, but how can I with the way she’s acting?
He tried to ignore her and concentrate on his work, but it wasn’t easy. She jabbered next to him like a typical teenage girl, sometimes laughing at her own jokes, other times poking him in the side with her elbow to get him to laugh, too. It almost worked a couple of times, but it was difficult for him to forget the way she had treated him after Robert told her what he had been accused of, so he fell back into frowning silence every time.
Steven’s next few days were surreal. After his talk with Ruby, he had come to a straightforward conclusion, and not even the voice could return to tell him he was wrong.
Ruby wasn’t lying, he thought, she really does believe me!
By day he did his schoolwork, usually with Ruby chattering at his side. Not a word was spoken about their stilted conversations. She even laid her hand on his arm once or twice. All Steven knew was that since then, the voice made fewer appearances.
Everyone in the class still seemed to think Ruby was crazy or that Steven had done something to her, but Steven found he noticed–and cared–less and less as time went on. He couldn’t explain it. He did not know whether it was because of Ruby or if maybe he had just finally gotten over all of it.
All he knew now was that the voice was dying, he had stopped caring what people thought of him, and in an ever small way, he was…happy. There was no other word for it. He was beginning to feel happy. He was smiling again and was feeling less depressed.
But how could that happen? Surely he couldn’t recover because one person was speaking to him? Then again, he knew that if Robert hadn’t gone against him, he would have never fallen into a depression. He had always known the fact that he was alone was the main reason he fell so far. Maybe one person could really make a difference?
Having Ruby as a friend made him feel normal again. They didn’t fight, and Ruby didn’t study him with accusing eyes the way everyone else did. It was almost as if, in some way, the old Lindsay–the one he had known before they started bickering and she admitted to hearing the voice–had come back into his life.
One day after weeks of spending time with the upbeat Ruby, Steven tried to talk to Robert, but Robert quickly ducked out of the classroom. Steven saw Ruby look after Robert with concern on her face out of the corner of his eye. Steven was just considering whether he should wait or try and leave when suddenly Leonard appeared in front of him.
Steven automatically flinched, expecting an attack of some sort, even though that hadn’t happened for weeks. But instead, Leonard stood in front of him, rubbing the back of his neck and his cheeks flush with embarrassment. Steven saw David run past, not even looking at either of them and knew something was up. That wasn’t like David.
Steven waited for what seemed like forever before finally demanding, “Do you want something?”
Leonard seemed to struggle, and Steven had a distinct feeling he knew what was coming. He just couldn’t believe it.
“Steven,” he said. “I-I just wanted to tell you…” Leonard paused again, and Steven got annoyed. Then Leonard dropped his hands and pulled himself up to his full height. “I wanted to say that I don’t think you killed Lindsay. Or had anything to do with it.”
Steven felt as if someone had slapped him hard. This wasn’t what he had expected at all. There was silence between them for several minutes before Steven finally responded, “You changed your mind?”
Leonard smiled sheepishly. “I know it’s a surprise,” he replied, shaking his head slightly as if he, too, had no idea why he was saying what he was. “It’s just that…I mean, if you really did it? Killed Lindsay? Then why…why would Ruby spend time with you? I mean, it’s crazy to think she would…you know.”
“Spend time with a murderer?”
Leonard’s blush deepened, and he dropped his eyes again. “I guess.”
Steven sighed and considered his old friend. He wasn’t sure what to say or do; yet there was a feeling growing inside him. He barely recognized it, but it was warm, and he felt elated. Could it be? Was he...happy?
“So…” Leonard said, snapping Steven out of his thoughts. “You…I mean, do you wanna grab some food? I’m peckish.”
Ruby sidled up between them, linked her arms through each of theirs, and said, “That sounds great.” She smiled at Steven, who suddenly found a smile on his face. He was so shocked by it; his smile grew even more.
As they all left the room, many people stared after them, some still disgusted, but others looked more confused than anything. Just as Steven walked out the door, he glanced over at the teacher. The woman winked at Steven with a pleasant smile, and for the third time that day, Steven grinned like a free man.
13 Friends/Enemies
Ruby
When Ruby arrived at school the next day, she was not met with the same enthusiasm that she usually was. It was a sickening roller coaster. Every time she thought she made progress, she crested the hill, and her stomach dropped out. While everyone spoke to her as usual, their faces said they thought what she was doing with Steven was anything but okay. Still, there was Leonard. She remembered a psychology class from her old school. There was a concept called "The First Follower." The details were hazy, but the idea goes that one person doing something abnormal made them crazy. But, as soon as a second person, or the first follower, joined in, the abnormal behavior stopped being abnormal. It was like the first follower normalized the behavior. Leonard was Ruby's first follower. But still, everyone seemed to avoid her. They seemed too eager to get away from her and avoid conversation as if her belief in Steven's innocence was a disease that they could catch. She hoped that Leonard was still her first follower. Yesterday's progress could easily be torn asunder by the whispers of the student body.
Ruby had anticipated this response, and her guess was word had sprea
d like a virus of her spending time with Steven. The people she used to hang out with every day weren't as eager to spend time with her, but she had achieved exactly what she wanted, and people were doing just what she had predicted.
They were questioning their belief in Steven's guilt. If he was so guilty, why was another person spending time with him? And now Leonard too. If Steven had done what he was accused of, how could Ruby even stand to be near him? And all these questions Ruby knew would lead to another, one she knew people would never have considered before she started spending time with Steven.
If Ruby was spending time with Steven, then was he guilty of making Lindsay kill herself?
At the end of a torturously long lesson, Steven ran for the door, desperate to escape her and her chipper friendliness. She scowled and then caught herself. She felt rejected, but she knew that it was Steven's insecurity. She was making progress with him. He even smiled a few times, but he tried to hide it. Ruby gathered up her things and tried to catch up with Steven, but Robert caught her before she could. He blocked the doorway with his body and crossed his arms over his chest. His backpack leaned against his legs.
"Do you know what people are saying?" he demanded. His brow was furrowed, and he squinted at her.
Ruby pulled back and crossed her arms over her chest, matching his stance. She scowled at him with newfound contempt. "No, but I suspect you're about to tell me all about it." She heaped as much scorn on the single word as she could. Who does he think he is? she thought and seethed at Robert's display.
He ignored her sass and leaned forward, almost conspiratorially. "Some people are saying that you're in league with Steven. Like you had something to do with Lindsay's death!"
Ruby opened her mouth to protest vehemently, but Robert stopped her with a raised hand. "Obviously, I know you didn't, because you only just moved here—after all of it happened, but that's what people are saying! And it gets worse!" he said, his voice rising in pitch and volume. "Some people are even considering the possibility that maybe Steven is innocent!" The revulsion dripped off his tongue as he said the last word. More than one set of eyes found their way to them.
"And why is that so bad?" Ruby yelled. Several students nearby jumped in their chairs. Robert stepped back, almost stumbling over his backpack, and his mouth dropped open. Ruby stepped forward, her eyes flaring and shaking a finger at Robert. "I don't know what your problem is, and I don't know why you are so unwilling to make up with your old friend. You used to be best friends with Steven, but now you hate him with a passion that I don't understand. I've never seen anyone lose a friend and not live with regret about it afterward." She crossed her arms again and rose to her full height. "It makes you look bad, Robert, not him. Unless you're willing to accept that Steven might be innocent, then don't speak to me again!"
Robert stood in shock as people stared. Ruby shoved past him and took off down the hallway, her backpack bouncing off the small of her back. She slammed open the door to the school, leaped down the steps, and thundered down the sidewalk, her sneakers stomping through leaves on the sidewalk. In her peripheral vision, she saw more than one student stare as she ran. Let them stare, she thought, running faster, desperate to get as far away from Robert and the other students as quickly as possible. She knew it would be challenging, but everyone knew that sometimes doing the right thing was the hardest thing to do.
Ruby ran down the street, trying to hold back her tears. She only stopped when Steven, panting, finally caught up to her from behind. "Steven?" she sputtered. "What are you doing?"
"I've been chasing you since you ran out of the school."
Ruby gawked at him in confusion.
"I hung back when Robert cornered you. I saw the fight." Steven shoved his hands into his pockets and studied her face.
Ruby looked at the ground, not sure what to say.
"Why are you doing this?" he finally asked.
Ruby looked up at the brown-haired boy. "What do you mean?"
"You hated me when you first met me. You were just like everyone else! Now, suddenly, you're speaking to me and acting all nice."
Ruby swallowed and rubbed tears from her cheeks and eyes. "You told me the truth. You told me what happened. I know you're innocent now, and I'm not going to stand by and watch you be completely ostracized for something you didn't even do."
Steven was right in front of her, his eyes narrowed and a grimace stretching his mouth down deep in the corners. "Really? Did you really believe me? I think this is some trick. Some sick prank to get at me, to get close then make me suffer even more."
Ruby's mouth dropped open, then slowly curled up in an accepting smile. She stepped forward. "I understand, Steven. After everything you’ve been through, it's only natural for you to be suspicious. Someone might try to do something to you. But I assure you, Steven, I honestly am trying to be your friend."
"But how can I know that?" Steven said, hesitance still thick in his voice. "How can I know this isn't some elaborate prank? What about Leonard? Is he in on it too?"
Ruby had new tears forming in her eyes. "Leonard is finally listening to his heart and not the rumor mill."
Steven stepped back and shook his head. "Why," he whispered.
She closed the gap between them and lightly kissed Steven on the forehead. Steven's mouth fell open, and he stared at Ruby as she stepped back.
"I know what it's like to be a pariah, Steven, and I guess you will just have to learn to trust me." She smiled. Then, without another word, Ruby walked past Steven. She thought she had said all she needed to say for now. Hopefully, he believed her.
Ruby was becoming increasingly happy with her success. Steven was changing; he was gradually getting better. She noticed he was no longer so resistant to her but was talking back, and he had stopped trying to hide his smile. Her success bolstered her and gave her the courage she needed to keep facing the other students' stares in the classroom. Leonard wasn't "all in," as they say, but he didn't hide his spending time with Steven.
Support from most of the student body wasn't happening. Well, other than the teacher and Leonard. But was it enough? Although no one said anything directly to her, no one seemed to be attempting to find out what she and Leonard were doing. They all seemed content on thinking Steven had brainwashed them somehow. So much for The First Follower, she seethed.
She tried to speak to a few people, but most changed the subject and tried to talk about their unreasonable teachers or the latest gossip on who was dating whom. They wanted to talk about anything other than Steven. She felt like a protestor standing on the steps of city hall shouting into the wind. No one seemed interested in what she had to say. Even Leonard seemed conflicted from time to time.
On multiple occasions, Ruby tried to let Robert approach her—her ultimatum still fresh. But he seemed intent on not speaking to Ruby or Steven or even Leonard. The rift between David and Leonard was growing, and Ruby feared that that would be what turns Leonard from her cause. David and Robert often sat with their heads bent in whispered conversation that seemed to stop when Leonard got there. Robert was so convinced of Steven's guilt; he completely denied that there was any chance that anything other than the rumor narrative could be true. He seemed sure, too, that Ruby was a lost cause. It made Ruby wonder if she could ever get Robert to consider anything other than the lies he held as truth.
"Hey."
Ruby looked up and saw Leonard shuffling in front of her desk. He kept looking at her, and then his eyes would dart to Steven.
Leonard steeled himself, took a deep breath, and leaned down with a hand on Steven and Ruby's desks. "I'm just so tired of it, ya know?"
Ruby just stared, not trusting herself to speak. This is where we lose Leonard, she thought, a wave of sadness washing over her.
"I'm tired of all the drama. I'm tired of the whispered comments." He looked over his shoulder at David and Robert.
Ruby wasn't sure, but it looked as if maybe David was distancing himself from Robert.
She could see the longing in David's eyes. Robert saw it too. He slammed his laptop closed, shoved it into his backpack, and stormed out of the classroom—giving Leonard a shoulder bump as he walked by.
"What is his problem?" hissed Leonard.
Steven's eyes got misty.
Ruby put her hand on his. "When someone believes something, they wrap their identity up with that belief. It doesn't matter what the belief is—politics, religion, sports…" She smiled and glanced up at Leonard. "Science Fiction."
Leonard grinned like he won the lottery. "Well, I do love me some sci-fi reruns."
Ruby nodded.
"But," he started, and the mirth was gone from his face. "But Robert believes…"
Ruby held up her hand and shook her head. "Any belief. If someone challenges that belief, it's like, I don't know, that they're challenging them as a person. As if their belief was wrong. Especially if they feel shame about what they believed in, humans need to justify themselves, and that justification can manifest as hatred, but really, it's grief."
"Grief?" Steven asked.
"Yeah," Ruby replied. "Grief for the loss of who they were. The identity of those beliefs wrapped around them like a coat. I've seen enough funerals to know that avoiding that grief is something that most people would do anything to achieve."
Leonard nodded and knelt in the aisle. He put one hand on Ruby's and the other on Steven's. He winked at her, stood, and spun around to address the classroom. "I'm hungry," he declared. "Let's get some food off campus." He met David's eyes. "My treat."
David melted in his chair. "You're always hungry," Ruby retorted with a laugh.
Leonard spread his arms wide as if to say; Ya got me.
Then it happened. She had hoped for it for what seemed like forever. "Ha!" A bark of laughter erupted from beside her. Steven stared at Leonard. The remnants of his genuine joy still plastered across his face.
