After The Lies

by Mandessa Selby

  Esme tilted her head to study Callie’s face. She pursed her lips. “If you let me paint you, I will consider that payment enough.”

  “Paint me!”

  “I’m an artiste. I am one of the most important up and coming painters in all of Europe, I will have you know. My portraits are in the Louvre.” She winked. “And in the bedrooms of some of the most influential people in government.”

  Callie had no idea what the Louvre was, or why someone would put a painting in a bedroom. But if Esme were willing to teach her to read, Callie would do it if all it cost was to get her picture painted. Until the offer had been made, she had no idea how much she thirsted for knowledge. If she could read, she would be able to take care of the land she would be getting after leaving the Army. That way no one would be able to trick her. And then she could teach other people in the tribe to read. Maybe she could open a school. Suddenly, the idea of reading truly excited her.

  “Why are you being so nice to me?” Callie hated to be suspicious but everything came at a price and she wanted to make sure she was willing to pay before she made a deal. “You don’t know me.”

  Esme smiled. “You’re forging ahead in a man’s world and making your own destiny. That is what I think I admire about you. You’re not afraid.”

  “How did you know I wasn’t a boy?”

  Esme put finger under Callie’s chin and tilted her face toward the light. “I caught the way my brother looked at you. I know my brother better than anyone else in the world and he has no attraction for boys no matter how lonely he may be. And when I caught you in here holding my underwear, I saw something in your face that no boy would ever have. I put two and two together and came up with four. Though I have to say, your disguise is excellent to the untrained eye.”

  “Are you saying I’m not pretty like a girl.” “Mais non,” Esme said with a grin, “you have beautiful skin and your eyes flash.” She took Callie’s hands in her own. “Your hands are rough from work, but no man could have hands so beautiful and delicate. If you were in Paris, you would be one of the most sought after companions by wealthy men. They would kill to spoil you and keep you in silk and perfume just for one of your smiles.

  Callie didn’t know how to accept her words. “Aren’t they all white in France?”

  “In all Europe, a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman no matter the color of her skin.”

  “Does your brother feel that way?”

  “My brother has had many mistresses. One was even the illegitimate daughter of an Indian Rajah. Another woman, feted, as the most beautiful woman in all Europe, was from Brazil and she was much like you in coloring. Her mother was Indian and black and her father was Portuguese. And there have been the odd blondes, redheads, and brunettes.”

  “Is the Lieutenant very experienced?” Callie could never measure up to his idea of a woman.

  “Since he was thirteen, women have fallen all over him. But he has always been very particular.” Esme gave Callie a sly look. “I’m not surprised he is attempting to make a conquest out of you.”

  Callie blushed. Her entire body warmed at the thought of being the Lieutenant’s woman. She was torn between envy of the Lieutenant’s many women in the past and her desire for him now. She would never have the experience to satisfy him. And she felt sad that his interest in her was so casual. She suspected that if a more suitable woman arrived, his interest in her would evaporate like rain on the desert. She didn’t know if that would be a good thing, or a bad thing.

  * * *

  Luc sat on a bench outside Liberty’s stall. The horses were restless. They moved back and forth in their stalls the same way his emotions moved back and forth in his head. How could he be attracted to Callie? She was nothing like the women he was used to, yet something about her called to him. She had a vulnerability in her eyes that brought out his need to protect her. But he knew she didn’t need his protection. She was one of the best soldiers he’d ever commanded. She was fearless, courageous and he suspected that if he tried gentleness with her, she’d run away.

  How could he manage to stay away from her during the duration of her enlistment? Every instinct demanded he do everything he could to help her satisfy her ambitions. He admired her stead-fast approach to obtaining what she wanted. What she wanted wasn’t about greed or power, but family and her duty to her tribe. With the exception of Esme, he had forgotten the power of family. His life had been about what he wanted, what he desired. If he wanted a woman, he did what was necessary to get her. If he wanted to win a battle, he did what was necessary to win.

  Callie disturbed him in a way no other woman had ever done. She touched some place inside of him, he didn’t know existed. He was torn between allowing her to be herself and folding her in cotton and keeping her safe.

  Liberty nudged at his shoulder and he absently rubbed the horse’s smooth nose. The action was soothing.

  When was the last time he’d done something selfless. He hadn’t reported Callie because he thought he was attempting to save his career that was built on a lie anyway. He wanted her to succeed and obtain her dream. He wanted her to be happy. And his honor demanded that he help her. His help was against regulations, but he would do so anyway. In his heart, he knew a rightness in his decision, and didn’t that supercede any of the Army’s regulations?

  He felt caught in a moral dilemma that had no solution, except to let it play out in it’s entirety.

  “You acting like you have the world on your shoulders, Mr. Luc.”

  He was surprised to see the old man up and about. “Silas, what are you doing up this late?”

  Silas shuffled into a patch of moonlight streaming through a window.

  “When a body is old, it doesn’t need much sleep. My horses is fussing and I came out to talk to them, hoping they’ll settle.”

  “I think I’m the one disturbing them. They sense my uneasiness.

  “You and the boys going out tomorrow hunting for those Comanche who been attacking our supply trains?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “For the moment, I have to entertain the General.”

  “And your sister. She’s got the whole fort a-buzzing. She sure is a pretty one.”

  “She’s a hand full, at best.” Luc loved Esme, but she turned the whole world upside down and remade it to suit her purposes. He didn’t know if the United States Army was ready for that.

  “Well, maybe you’ll find her a husband out here. A couple of those young officers wouldn’t mind finding themselves a rich, young wife.” Luc laughed. “And Esme would eat them alive. After five minutes in her company they would rather face the Comanche with nothing to defend themselves but their good intentions.”

  Silas settled himself on a bench opposite Luc. “Well she sure had young Cal wrapped around her finger. I was passing your quarters and I heard the two of them giggling like a couple of young girls.”

  Luc jumped to his feet. He had to rescue Callie. No telling what Esme would do. “Silas, I’m going to leave you to the horses and see what I can do to rescue Cal.”

  “I don’t think the young ‘un needed rescuing. He’s a good boy and if Miss Esme is anything like you, she won’t hurt him on purpose.”

  Luc wasn’t too sure about that. He already felt out maneuvered. The last thing he needed was for Esme to team with Callie to make his life even more miserable than it was at this moment.

  Chapter Ten

  The officer’s mess hall had been transformed to accommodate the General’s banquet. Streamers hung from the ceiling and the good linen and company china and silver had been pulled out of storage. A small band, made up of the company’s enlisted personnel, sat in a corner providing the music.

  The officers wore their dress uniforms and the women wore ball gowns in a rainbow of colors with their hair pulled into intricate styles and aflutter with ribbons and lace.

  The cooks had outdone themselves with an array of dishes to tempt even the most jaded palettes including a selection of Mexican d
elicacies. The meal was a feast to behold and Luc was stuffed as willing to taste everything as all the others present.

  The General, at the head of the table, beamed at Esme who sat on his right. Esme sparkled in a black lace gown with her hair swept up into a ring of curls and diamonds encircling her neck. She looked every inch the sophisticated example of Paris fashion, and Luc could see the muted envy in the eyes of the officers’ wives as they studied the lines of Esme’s gown. The Major sat at the foot of the table with his wife on his right. All the other officers sat in between their position depending on rank and length of service.

  Behind the general, Luc could see the curious faces of the post children as they stared in the mess hall windows at the festivities with Callie in the background her eyes as big with wonder as any child’s.

  The conversation flowed around Luc. The topics included the Comanches, the price of beef, Indian policy and the President’s ever-present conflict with Congress. Reggie sat across from Esme and down a couple seats. Luc noticed Reggie hadn’t taken his eyes off of his sister. Luc had seen that predatory gleam in Reggie’s eyes, he recognized a man on a hunt and Esme was the prey. A small smile spread across Luc’s face. Esme was no mouse, and Reggie was in for the shock of his life if he thought she was going to simper and flirt with him like some Boston

  Belle hoping for a man of breeding and money. Esme would chose her own man, and he wouldn’t be a poor second Lieutenant.

  The General stood and the conversation fell off as people realized he wanted to speak. The General smiled at everyone and the Major’s wife dimpled.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, I have a announcement.” He pulled a small box from his pocket. “I hate all things formal, so I’m just going to say what I need to say. A man’s speech should be like a battle – short, sweet and to the point. Lieutenant Lucien Francois Delacroix, it is my great pleasure to announce that you have been promoted to Captain.” He handed the box to Esme. “If you would be so kind, my dear.”

  Luc stumbled to his feet. Captain! He was a Captain!

  Esme grinned and stood. She worked her way around the table to Luc and kissed him on each cheek before handing him the box. He opened it and found his brand new Captain’s bars residing on a pillow of velvet.

  “Luc, I’m so proud of you.” She removed his Lieutenant’s bar and inserted the Captain’s gold bars on his shoulders.

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Callie her face pressed against the window, a look of pridein her eyes. The Major stood and raised his wine glass. “A toast to Captain Delacroix, the finest officer I’ve ever had in my command.”

  Everyone stood, their wine glasses raised. “Here. Here,” they chorused. Luc almost flushed with pride and pleasure he didn’t know what to say. “Captain,” the General said after the toasts were completed, “I have known you for many years, and I must say that no officer I have known more deserves to be recognized. Captain, you are to be congratulated.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Luc replied.

  “Business is over.” The General clapped. “I think we should get to the dancing.” He held an arm out to the Major’s wife. “Madame, if you would, please.” He led her out onto the dance floor to open the dancing.

  The band burst into music. Reggie almost pushed Luc out of the way to get Esme.

  Esme nodded at him. “Reggie, mon cherie.”

  “May I have this dance?” He held out his arm.

  Esme gave him a brilliant smile. “I would love to dance with you, but I do think my brother should be my first partner for the night. It’s only proper.”

  Reggie’s face went dark as he glanced at Luc, his eyes flicking over Luc’s new bars. He bowed at Esme and backed away. “Another time, then.”

  “Of course.” Esme tucked her gloved hand around Luc’s elbow and tugged him onto the dance floor. “You know chivalry demands that you save me from that worm, little brother.”

  “You don’t like Reggie.” Luc was surprised.

  She nodded smiling. “I think he begrudges you your good fortune.”

  Luc slipped his arm around Esme and twirled her in step with the music. “You don’t understand. There has always been a friendly rivalry between the officers.”

  Esme tilted her head. “He looks at me as though I’m a morsel on a plate, and his for the taking should he lift a finger.”

  Luc chuckled. “Esme, has there been a man born who doesn’t want you? You are simply used to men who play games, who understand the rules of seduction like you do. Reggie doesn’t understand. He comes from a much different social background.”

  “He’s poor.”

  “Most officers are poor. That is why they marry rich wives.”

  Esme laughed. “Brother, I would never tolerate a man who was more concerned with my finances than ... the other treasures I have to offer.”

  “Esme,” Luc said, “I believe it to be improper to speak to your brother of such things. Let me have my illusions that you are as fresh as morning dew.”

  Esme shook her head. “You’ve been away from Paris far too long. As a matter of fact, you have your own little morsel and you haven’t taken a bite yet.”

  His spine stiffen. He hoped no one was paying attention to their conversation. “Esme, not here.”

  Her eyebrows arched. “Why not here? When did you become so moral?”

  “Morality has nothing to do with my feelings. Perhaps I’m thinking of my ‘morsel’s’ well being.”

  After an exaggerated pout, she sighed. “It would be inconvenient, wouldn’t it? I will have to think on that to make this work?”

  Luc needed to change the subject. He didn’t want to talk about Callie or his desire to bed her. “Aren’t you leaving for California?”

  “That is my ultimate destination. For the time being, I’ve decided to stay. The scenery around here fascinates me. I think I would like to do a series of paintings.”

  “This is a dangerous place. Your charm is not going to stop a Comanche arrow.”

  She smiled again. “You underestimate my ability to take care of myself.”

  “Fort Duncan is not Paris.”

  “And Paris is not Fort Duncan,” she retorted. “This place is very raw, visceral, filled with such forcefulness. I think that is what my painting has been lacking lately. I need a challenge. I’ve painted flowers, and vases of flowers, and gardens of flowers. I’m tired of flowers.”

  “What about all the portraits?”

  She tossed her head. “I’m tired of milk-faced aristocracy. They all want to look the same. I want faces with characters, with scars and wrinkles, with life in them. I want to paint Callie.”

  Luc jerked back. “What?”

  “I want to paint Callie. She has character and fire. She’s beautiful in an tempestuous and uninhibited way.”

  Luc stared at her. “I have never heard the words beautiful and tempestuous in the same sentence before.”

  The music ended and they walked to the edge of the dance floor. Esme flicked open her lace fan and cooled her face. “My dear brother, you are not an artist.” She whirled away from him and stood for a moment. All the junior officers made a mad dash for her, but the General parted the waves and claimed her for himself.

  Reggie touched Luc’s arm. “Congratulations, Captain.” Though the look in his eyes told Luc that he was jealous.

  “Thank you.” Luc watched as the General whirled his sister around the floor to the strains of a stately waltz.

  Reggie gestured at Esme. “Do you think I’ll ever get a chance?”

  “No. Save yourself now while you still have a chance.” Luc left the mess room turned ballroom for the cool air of the veranda.

  * * *

  Callie couldn’t take her eyes off the women. Their gowns were like pretty flowers; yellows and pinks and blues. The folds of the fabrics sparkled like stars. But no one looked more beautiful than Esme in her black silk that flowed about her like the night sky. No one looked more handsome than her new Captain in his
dress uniform with all the gold buttons shining in the lamplight. His broad shoulders filled out his uniform. He looked so tall and proud with his boots spit-polished to a high shine and his gold insignias glowing.

  A huge lump in her throat wouldn’t go away. Her palms sweated when she remembered how he’d kissed her and how strong his hands had been on her arms. The image of him bathing in the pond returned and she remembered the muscled look of his naked body and the way he appeared in the moonlight.

  Her breasts swelled painfully beneath the cotton bindings and her nipples felt on fire. If he kissed her now, she’d willingly surrender. Even though he wasn’t for her. She cursed herself for lusting after a white officer. How could she let herself become so entangled in her feelings for him?

  He was the last man on earth she needed to be in love with. She couldn’t even think about being with a man until her family was settled on their own land. And here she was mooning after her commanding officer.

  She knew she didn’t mean anything to him. When the time came for her Captain to chose a wife, he’d chose from the types of women who were like his sister – sophisticated and beautiful – and not some uneducated half-breed like herself who was better at being a boy than she would ever be at being a woman.

  She turned away from the window. Tears welled up in her eyes and she brushed them away impatiently. She left the group of wide-eyed children and stepped down onto the gravel. Footsteps sounded on the wooden planks of the veranda and a flame flashed. In the flare, Callie saw Luc as he lit his cigarette.

  The smoke of his cigarette was a fragrant cloud about his head. Callie stood in the shadows and watched him. He leaned against a post of the porch railing, the smoke billowing around his head.

  Was he happy with his new promotion? Callie was mystified by the ranks in the army and had no idea if being a Captain made Luc a more important person. She wanted to congratulate him, throw her arms around his neck and tell him how proud she was of him. She wanted to kiss him. She started toward him and he glanced up from his contemplation and saw her.