After The Lies

by Mandessa Selby

  “But General,” Esme said, “She was a scout, regardless of her sex. And she did a good job. You cannot blame her for wanting more than what she has.”

  The General clasped his hands behind his back. “I understand why she did what she did, but my hands are tied here by the law. But, I can say, a $10,000 bounty exists on Juan Valenzuela. A bounty a United States soldier could never collect, but one that private citizen Callisto Payne can.” A brief smile passed over his lips. “I will personally see that she receives that bounty.”

  Esme clapped her hand. “Tres bon, mon General.” She rose and kissed him on the cheek. The General blushed. “My friend in Baltimore will be pleased with you. She is a honorable woman and you have shown yourself to be an honorable man. I demand the second dance at your wedding.”

  A knock sounded at the door. Luc opened it to find one of his soldiers at the door with a black man wearing a tattered uniform. “Sir.” The soldier stood at attention. “This person insists he is a deserter and demands to see Major Adams. He wants to surrender.”

  Luc stood aside and the black man entered. He had a look to him that seemed familiar, but Luc had no idea why.

  The black man offered a snappy salute and wry grin. “My name is Corporal Rafael Payne. I deserted four years ago, sirs, and I wish to turn myself in.”

  * * *

  Callie said. Seeing her brother in the flesh brought back so much of the worry which had consumed her over the years. He wasn’t dead and she didn’t know if she felt relief, or anger that he had deceived her and their mother. She winced at the pain in her chest as she raised her arms to her brother. “Mama thinks you’re dead.” She lay in Luc’s wide bed with Esme to care for her. Luc had temporarily moved into Reggie’s empty quarters. She felt odd laying on Luc’s fine sheets while his sister fussed over her. She shifted, trying to ease the ache in her chest from her wound and the bulky bandages that cris-crossed her breasts beneath the fine lawn of Esme’s nightgown. She felt odd wearing Esme’s beautiful nightgown with its delicate embroidery about the collar and cuffs. But Esme had insisted.

  Rafe bent over and kissed Callie’s cheek. “I’m sorry, little sister.” He was neatly dressed in his uniform, but without rank insignias. He looked tired and sad and seemed somehow distant, as though the years separating them were a huge burden he couldn’t share. “I acted thoughtlessly. I should have let you both know, but somehow I couldn’t.” He opened his mouth as though to say more, but then didn’t.

  Callie struggled to sit up wondering what secrets he was keeping from. The secrets stood between them as a barrier Callie didn’t think she could break down. She had to be happy just having him with her again. She couldn’t press him for all the things that happened in the years he’d been gone. The look on his face told her that subject of the missing years was closed. At least their mother would be at peace, knowing he was still alive. Though probably on his way to jail.

  Esme, hovering at the door with concern on her face, scolded. “Don’t you tire her out.” She shook a finger at Rafe, then softened the gesture was a smile. “She doesn’t have much strength.

  “I’ll be mindful of her, ma’am.” Rafe eased himself down on the edge of the mattress and took Callie’s hand.

  Two guards stood just inside the doorway warily watching Rafe. But Esme gently drew them outside into the hallway where they leaned against the far wall, their eyes never leaving Rafe.

  “I’m glad you’re here now.” Callie clasped his hand and held on tightly despite the pain that wracked her body. She had never been wounded before, never felt such agonizing physical pain. She had been so surprised when Valenzuela had stabbed her, she had almost let him go. But she hadn’t been able to release her grip on him. He was Luc’s enemy, therefore her enemy. And she would have died keeping him restrained.

  Rafe sat on the edge of the bed. “Not for long. I’m going to be court-martialed and probably end up in jail for awhile.”

  “No. No,” Callie protested, fear clutching at her heart. “I have money. I can take care of this for you.” The money still awed her. Never in her life had she thought she would have so much. She could hardly wait to go home and tell her mother, but the doctor had told her she wouldn’t be going anywhere for a week or so.

  Rafe laughed at her. “Where did you get money, little sister?”

  Finally, Callie could do something for the brother she adored. “The bounty on Juan Valenzuela. I captured him.” She felt a spurt of pride. She whispered, confidentially. “Ten thousand dollars. I can buy anything.” Ten thousand dollars bought a lot of dreams. She had even tried to pay Luc back for the money he’d spent on her in New Orleans, but he’d refused to take a penny from her.

  He smiled at her. “You don’t need to worry about me, just take care of mama.”

  “I am. And the whole tribe. We can go anyplace we want. Even Florida.” She could buy land now. And no one, not even the United States Government would be able to take it away from her. She would have a home, a future, a place to grow. Her mama would have a garden as big as she wanted. Despite her excitement, a lonely future stretched in front of her. She would no longer have Luc. He had his life in the army, and she had hers with her people.

  Rafe ran his fingers lightly over her cheeks, as though memorizing through touch the planes and angles of her face. “How did you get hurt?”

  “I joined the army, just like you.”

  “And they let you join.” The incredulous look on his face told her he didn’t believe her.

  Callie grinned at him. “I was a scout for the army. But not anymore. They found out I’m a woman. And I’ve been ‘separated” as Captain Delacroix says. Women can’t be scouts in the army. Someone high up thinks women can’t manage the hard work, or the life. But I proved them all wrong. Captain Delacroix says I was as good, if not better, as any solider. He’s a good man. He can help you.” She felt a warmth flood her face. The hardest part of returning home would be leaving Luc behind. But she had no part in his life. He wanted something different than she did. She didn’t want a part in his life, as long as he lived as a white man, betraying his own heritage. Yet she loved him and the love ached in her.

  “Now why,” Rafe scoffed, “would a white officer want to help me?”

  “Just talk to him. He’ll help. I promise.” She couldn’t betray Luc’s secrets. Only Luc could make things right for himself. If she had to continue without him, she would. Though her heart would break. As much as she loved him, she wouldn’t live with his lie.

  Chapter Twenty

  Callie saddled her mule. Old Silas sat on a stool. He shook his head, mumbling, “Little man, little man. Guess I can’t call you that anymore, can I Callie?”

  Callie cinched the saddle tight. Her mule grunted. “I’m gonna miss you, Silas. You’ve been a good friend.” Her chest still ached, but the wound had healed. The scar across her chest, she would wear forever.

  “What are you gonna do know?” Silas said. “You got money. You gonna live high in the big city?”

  “No.” Callie turned to Silas. “I’m gonna buy myself the biggest piece of land I can afford, build a house and just sit awhile.”

  Silas shook his head. “Not a bad plan. But what are you gonna do about Mr. Luc?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “A pretty girl like you and a big, strong handsome rich man like him. You can’t tell me nothing happened on the trail alone. No way. No how. I see you looking at him. You got eyes for that man. At first, I thought it was just hero worship, but now I know better.”

  “Shut up, old man. You don’t know anything.” She tugged the reins. “I have to go.” She gave him a big hug and dragged her mule out of the corral. At the gate, she found Esme, waiting.

  “You were trying to sneak away and not say good-bye. I’m hurt.” Esme crossed her arms over her chest.

  Callie didn’t reply. She couldn’t deny her desire for a quiet leave-taking.

  Esme touched her shoulder. “You could come t
o San Francisco with me.”

  “What is it with you and your brother? Always wanting to take me to the big city. No. I don’t belong there.”

  “Luc and I could be your people.”

  “I don’t think so. I have to be where I can be who I am.”

  “This is not just about the big city, is it, cherie? It’s about the color of our skin.”

  “Maybe.”

  Esme put a finger beneath Callie’s chin. “Luc is who he is because of the color of his skin. I wish the world was different, but it isn’t. You must be who you are in the world, not change the world to suit who you are.”

  “I know. I will have to live with my lie every day. But in the end, my people will prosper. I was willing to pay the price. Who profits from Luc’s lies?”

  Esme gave Callie a sad smile. “To be allowed to be who he is, Luc lived the lie.”

  “That’s a shame, isn’t it?”

  Esme leaned forward and shook her finger. “Then you, better than anyone else, should understand.”

  “I do. But we can never be together because he cannot accept what he is.”

  “He loves you.”

  “I love him with all my heart. I will always love him. But I will not lie for him. I’ve done enough lying in my life.”

  Esme sighed. “These moral dilemmas, they give me a headache. You will continue with your reading and writing, won’t you?”

  “I will. I promise.” Callie swung up on the mule. “The first thing I’m doing after I find some land, is hiring a teacher to teach all of us how to read and write. I understand the power of words now.”

  “I just purchased the Hotel DeVille in San Francisco. If you change your mind, there’s always a place for you.” Esme reached up and took Callie’s hand, pressing a sack into it.

  Callie tried to gave the sack of coin back. “I have my own money now.”

  “I know, but this is just for you and no one else. So you can come to me if you need to. You are my sister.” Tears sparkled in Esme’s eyes. “I hate good-byes. Au revoir. The French way is better. Until we meet again.” She walked away never looking back.

  * * *

  Callie nudged the mule away from the corral, heading toward the road. She found that saying good-bye had drained her. She didn’t look back.

  Callie was a mile from the post when she heard hoofbeats. She turned in the saddle and saw Luc riding after her. She drew her mule to a halt.

  “Don’t leave me, Callie,” he pleaded when his horse came to a halt. A cloud of dust rose from the animal’s hooves.

  “I can’t stay, Captain. Luc.”

  Luc studied at her set face, the way her chin jutted at him and her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. He felt barren, empty. She was leaving and taking a part of him with her.

  “Is there anything I can say that will make you stay. I can rent a room in Eagle’s Pass.”

  Callie’s head went up. “I’m not your fancy woman. In New Orleans

  I felt as though I was playing dress-up in my mama’s clothes. I can’t be

  that woman forever. I have responsibilities.”

  “Callie, I love you.”

  “I know you do, and I love you, too. But there are too many things standing in our way. You have an important job to do here and you’ve done a lot of good. You take care of the Black soldiers like men. You treat them with respect.”

  Luc thought his heart would break in half. “Do you think that’s enough to keep me warm at night?”

  “No, but I have a job to do, too.” A tear dripped down her cheek.

  He nodded. He knew that she was leaving not because of her people, but because of his choices. She would not give him an ultimatum forcing him to choose. He loved her more than she would ever know, but he had so much more to accomplish. Texas wasn’t safe yet and the Comanche problem would not be settled for years. He could think of all the tasks he had to do, but none of them were what he wanted to do. He wanted to be with Callie, to make babies with her and grow old, yet so much stood in their way.

  “Let me go, Luc. It’s for the best. I can’t ask you to give up everything you hold dear. That would be wrong.” She turned her mule and headed down the road.

  Luc watched her go. His throat opened and closed and he felt utterly impotent.

  * * *

  Luc sat at his desk unable to concentrate. Two days ago, he had put his sister on a stage bound for the nearest railroad station from where she would head to San Francisco. The General was leaving in the morning. He’d completed his most pressing tasks. Rafe was taken care of. Reggie was off to Federal prison. And he had one last task to perform. He read his letter of resignation one last time.

  “Can’t I talk you out of this?” General Hammond asked as he clipped his cigar and then lit it. “I’ve known you for over ten years, Sir. You’ve been more than my commanding officer, you’ve been my friend. I’ve lied to you, sir.”

  “About what?”

  “I’m not what you think I am.”

  “You mean you’re not the son of a New Orleans plantation owner and his mulatto mistress.”

  Luc sat up straight. “You knew.”

  The General took a deep drag on his cigar. “As much as I loved my sister, it just bothered the hell out of me that she married herself a Johnny Reb out of New Orleans. The Delacroix name is a pretty big name there. And there’s one thing my sister knows is gossip. You say one name to her and you chapter and verse all the way back to the birth of Christ.”

  Luc didn’t know what to say. He held the letter in his hand and picked up his pen. “Then you know. Why didn’t you do anything?”

  The General smiled at him. “You can forgive a man who saves your life pretty much anything, especially a minuscule little fib.” He held his fingers up. “I’ve known two great soldiers in my life, you and Robert E. Lee. I lost Robert, and I wasn’t losing you. Didn’t matter to me. Twenty years ago, maybe, but not anymore. I watched this nation rip apart at the seams because the notion that color mattered. I know my opinion is not popular, but I don’t ever want to see such a devastating event happen again.

  Luc took a deep breath. “You would have married my sister in a minute had she given you any indication that she cared for you in more than just a fatherly way.”

  General laughed. “A beautiful woman with a lot of money is a beautiful woman with a lot of money.” He winked.

  Luc held out his hand. “It’s been a pleasure to serve under you.” He signed the letter.

  “You’re going to go after that little Seminole girl, aren’t you. I don’t blame you. Again, she is beautiful and she does have some money. Not that her money is a problem for you.” He puffed contentedly on his cigar. “Where to you intend to go?”

  “I have property in Canada. And I’ve always had an inclination to raise horses and babies.”

  “Good luck to you, Luc. I want you to keep a bed made for me, I hear there’s good hunting in Canada.” The General stood and took Luc’s resignation letter. “I’ll be seeing you.”

  * * *

  Luc felt hot and dusty as he rested his horse for a moment before going on. In the distance, he could see Callie’s village, a green oasis in the heat of the desert.

  He pushed his hat back and felt the stiffness of the brim. He still had trouble believing he wasn’t in the army any longer, that he’d given up a goal that had been so important to him. But with Callie gone, somehow the situation didn’t seem so critical anymore.

  He had weighed all his options very carefully, and each one had come up short, except for being with Callie. He discovered that he couldn’t continue without her love, without her respect. The army could take of the Comanche situation without him, but there was only one Callie.

  He spurred his horse toward the village and discovered a hive of activity. Wagons had been drawn up in front of adobe houses and women loaded the backs of the wagons with boxes. Children played in the dirt, stopping to stare at him as he passed. Some of the children wore Comanche
clothes and he wondered where they had come from.

  Callie walked out into the sun, shading her eyes with the palm of one hand. She balanced a small boy on her hip. A boy who resembled her brother.

  Luc reined his horse to a halt and stepped down. “Callie,” he said, holding out his hand.

  “Captain, what are you doing here?” Callie put the little boy down and he ran back into the house yelling something that sounded like grandma.

  “I’m not a Captain anymore.”

  Her eyebrows rose. “You mean you left the army?”

  “Black men can’t be officers. I could live the lie, or I could live with you.”

  She nodded at him. “That must have been hard, giving up your dreams.”

  “I didn’t give up my dream, I just rearranged it.” He took her hands in his. “I love you.”

  She went into his arms, her hands cradling his cheeks. “I love you, too, Luc. But are you sure?”

  “Never in my life have I been so sure about anything.”

  “Where do we go from here?” She molded herself against him, her face upraised.

  “Canada, where we can be legally wed.”

  She smiled at him. “My tribe is going back home to Florida. But I understand it’s as hot there as it is here. I think I’d like to try something colder for a change.”

  He kissed her, his mouth covering hers, their tongues meeting. He moaned with his love for her.

  She drew back, breaking contact. “What are we going to do in Canada?”

  “How do you feel about raising horses and babies?”

  She nodded at him. “I like that.” She tilted her face up to him and laughed. “I like that a lot. I can do anything with you by my side.”

  “Me, too.” He kissed her again, long and hard and filled with promise.

  About The Author

  Mandessa Selby lives quietly in Nevada with her family. After The Lies is her debut novel.