“Let me get this straight; those girls actually put out an ad…” Megan has joined us, and there’s enough rage on her face to match her flaming red hair.
“And two dicks actually approached you? What the hell!” Beth shouts, and I catch a glimpse of Travis’s face, which is dark with anger. Cole’s jaw is locked, he’s fisting his hands and I can see him playing the events of the night in his head, seething with anger.
“It’s done and over with; Cole’s just overreacting.” I try to make things a little less morbid, but that’s tough to do when everyone’s hell-bent on rehashing the past.
“I’m overreacting? You have nightmares, and I’m overreacting?”
I cringe at the hurt in his voice, at the hurt on everyone’s faces. I didn’t mean to bring up the night in the club, but Cole did anyway; apparently, I’m an open book, and the lack of a stellar college experience is very visible on my face.
“This was your dream school; I went because I wanted to be with you, not because I wanted you to continue living in high school.”
At this everyone glares at Nicole, who’s awkwardly sitting in a corner, holding on to her coffee cup for dear life.
“Knock it off,” I tell him. I’m glad Jay’s date forced him to leave because that just would’ve made the situation a hundred times worse.
“But he has a point,” Alex chirps in from where he’s holding a visibly upset Megan. “You didn’t go to college to have to relive high school all over again, and Cole’s only going to get more popular. The girls aren’t going to go away; the real issue is how you are going to deal with it.”
Travis has yet to speak, and his silence is scaring me. Because he was mentally absent during the worst phase of bullying I faced, he feels incredibly guilty. In turn, that makes him all the more protective now; add that to having an overly protective boyfriend and it’s lucky that I get to step foot out of the house.
“Well, you could…” Nicole begins, and the way everyone looks at her makes her freeze. She raises her hands defensively. “What? If anything, the only person who knows what to do in these situations should be me, right?”
“Because of course you’ve only got her best interests at heart?” Beth says snidely, and Travis wraps an arm around her to hold her back.
“Suppose we were to actually listen to you, what would you say?”
“I’d say there’s no way to get those girls off Tessa’s back, not when they’re so convinced that they’re so much better for Cole than she is.”
“That’s reasonably stupid coming from your mouth. I expected something more diabolical and vile.” Megan nearly snarls.
“Calm down, I’m getting there. What I’m trying to say is that nothing’s going to convince them unless they convince themselves.”
“I’m slightly confused…” I really am.
“What I think you should do is to fake a breakup. Not for long, just enough for the girls to realize that even single, Cole wouldn’t be interested.” She shrugs.
At her suggestion, everyone breaks out in protests quite vocally, especially Cole, before I can even process any of what she’s said.
“No.” Cole bites out, “That’s not even an option.”
Nicole rolls her eyes. “Jesus, you guys take everything way too seriously. It’s only a pretend breakup, just until these girls get you out of their system.”
“Would that have worked for you?” Travis asks.
She shrugs. “I wouldn’t have wasted my time wondering about the what ifs if I knew for sure that he wouldn’t be interested in me, even if he wasn’t with anyone else.”
I’m still processing and trying to understand how all of this makes sense, and the rest of them are weighing the pros and cons of the situation.
Well, everyone but Cole, who shoots up from his seat and storms out of the room. Nicole’s looking a bit overwhelmed, so she quickly grabs her things and heads for the door, so I follow her.
“I shouldn’t have interfered,” she says to me quietly.
“We asked you to, so it’s fine. I’m sorry they freaked out on you like that.”
“You have a bunch of people that love you and care about you; that’s not something to be sorry for.”
“Still, you were only trying to help.”
“I was, and I really think you might want to consider it.”
She leaves quickly, and I have no idea when I’ll see her again.
Next, I go to find my boyfriend, who’s sitting alone in one of the deck chairs near the pool. I go and sit down next to him, placing my head on his shoulder.
“What’re you thinking?”
“That Nicole’s completely full of shit.” He scoffs, muttering the word breakup under his breath.
“I know; I hate the idea as much as you do.”
“But…” he begins, and my heart stops. That word is never good; if there’s a but, then he might possibly see the merits of breaking up, fake or not. I can’t even contemplate if there might be such a thing.
“Please don’t tell me you’re actually considering it.” My voice is so low, I doubt he hears me, but he does. Cole frames my face and leans in close.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, even if that means…”
“We’re not some star-crossed lovers in a romance film, Cole; don’t play games with me. This is a real problem; we’re real people. I don’t need to hear these mindless plans and schemes; we work things out like normal people.”
“Are you scared?” His expression is so tender, it’s breaking my heart.
“Of what?”
“Of going back, of being seen with me, of what someone else might do, of what might happen if I’m not there?”
“The last part sounded the scariest.”
He gives me a sad smile and kisses the top of my head. “Baby, I’m not going anywhere.”
“But?”
“But I am going to protect you.” He leans in and kisses me deeply.
“I’m not scared of those sorority psychopaths, trust me.”
He laughs against my lips. “Who’s to say that’s what you need protection from?”
“Then what are we even talking about?”
He distracts me then, kissing me slowly, deeply, languidly until I forget my own name.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you never regret for a second that I chose to spend these four years of our life together. I don’t want you to wake up one day and hate me for ruining everything you worked so hard for. I didn’t follow you because I was scared of what a long-distance relationship could do to us, I followed you because I wanted to get a head start on the rest of our lives and because I love you too much to be that selfless.”
“Cole,” I breathe, running a hand through his hair. “I’d never hate you, never regret my time with you, or even think about a future that you’re not a part of. You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
He shakes his head, the sadness in his eyes is piercing me, and I’m terrified of what’s to come.
“But I do, Shortcake, I do.
Chapter Twenty-Two: It’ll Be Like an R-Rated Disney Land
Someone’s placed a framed picture of Cole and me on my vanity table at home, and I want to hug whomever that person is. It’s one from a trip we took to the beach this past summer; I’m grinning at the camera, Cole’s standing behind me and holding me in his arms. His head’s turned toward me and he’s beaming at me; you can practically see the feelings that he has for me pouring out of the picture. Picking up the wooden, rustic-looking frame, I hug it to my chest and decide to take it back to my dorm.
“I had it in my phone and thought you’d like a blown-up version of it.” Travis leans against my doorframe and smiles warmly at me. For old times’ sake, he’s crashing in his old room, though I imagine the memories it holds for him can’t be too pleasant.
“I love it. It was a really good day.”
“You’re talking about it like there haven’t been too many of those s
ince then.”
I don’t want to mope during my time home because that’s not why I’m here. It’s the holidays, and I’m supposed to be spending this time doing anything but unloading all my problems onto them. But they’ve already seen enough, heard enough, and my good intentions have gone to waste.
“You know how it is, Trav, college isn’t always what you expect it to be. I’m just feeling a little lost right now, and Cole is, well…I think he’s just suffering because of how confused I am.”
“What’s there to be confused about?” Travis walks into the room and sits on my bed, patting the space next to him, and I follow his directions.
“You’ve always known what you wanted from life, always more than I did. Hell, I never had any intentions of getting into politics or law school or any of the other stuff Dad had planned for me. I’m going back to school in a couple of months, and it scares the shit out of me because I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. But you’ve always loved books and known you wanted to build a career around them. Are you going to let some entitled airheads get in the way of that?”
When he puts it that way, I feel incredibly stupid.
“It’s not just the airheads; it’s knowing that there’s one thing that I’ve learned to feel the most secure about, and that same thing is being threatened over and over again. It took me a long time to feel comfortable in my relationship with Cole, to understand that we’re equals and not ask myself why someone like him would be into someone like me.”
He groans in frustration. “Are you even listening to yourself? God, if Beth were here, she’d put you in your place. This isn’t the Tess I know, and the more you put yourself down, the more I want to hurt someone.”
“Well, it’s a good thing Jay’s in the neighborhood, right?”
“Can’t get into trouble with the sheriff, he has to oversee all my community service paperwork, but I could always wear a ski mask,” he muses.
“And jump Jay in a dark parking lot, oh, and Beth would totally have enough black outfits for both of you.”
“I don’t think she’s aware of any other color existing. If she didn’t look so hot in it, I’d say it was a little disturbing.”
I laugh and he rolls his eyes. “That was a brilliant change of subject, but come on, we’re not done talking about you.”
“There’s not much to talk about. I’m lacking in the confidence department, and that’s a known fact. Those girls, well, blood-sucking leeches would be a better term, but they’re aware of it, and they take advantage of the fact.”
“They crossed a line, if I could ever fucking hit a girl…” Travis growls and I drop my head.
“Everyone keeps wanting to fight my battles for me, and I keep letting them. Maybe part of being confident is to stop doing that.”
He’s quiet for a while. “I miss your spirit; I hate that whatever’s happening at school is taking that away from you. I might have missed out on the toughest part of your life, but what I did see showed me that you were brave, that you stood up to people who tried to hurt you, and, most of all, you were happy. Now you just look tired of everything, and it’s killing me.”
I’m speechless. My brother has never been one for making speeches. He’s always there for me in his own quiet way, but he’s never said something so touching before, and before I know it, my eyes are watering. I hug his side and he slings his arm around me.
“Be the fighter that you are Tess, come on.”
***
The girls and I pack ourselves and our collective hoard of Black Friday loot into my car.
“That was so much fun!” Megan sighs as she pulls on her seat belt. “Victoria’s Secret always has the best sales.”
“Talk about yourself,” Beth groans, “all that squealing, and the amount of pink in that room…” She shudders. “Why do you guys subject yourself to this torture every single year?”
“Hey, it’s tradition, besides, it’s not like you came out empty-handed.” I point toward her own bags.
“I just bought some necessities. I do live in an apartment that requires me to actually shop for it.”
“And under what kind of necessity would you classify La Perla?” I laugh but then immediately shut up at the sly look that comes across her face.
“Oh Tessa, dear old Tessa, you walked right into that one.”
“No! Please, forget I said anything. I don’t need to know why you needed that medieval-looking corset or any of the other…stuff.”
“Your brother’s quite adventurous,” she goes on, ignoring everything I’ve said. “He especially requested that I look for these items. I might even wear them tonight; did you forget that I’m staying over? I really hope you have earplugs nearby.”
“Stop, stop! For the love of god, I ask you to stop.”
“I think she’s going to have a panic attack, Beth, you should stop.” Megan doesn’t look up from her phone, typing furiously.
“She started it.”
“I did no such thing! All I said was—”
“Tessa, don’t be stupid, Beth isn’t mad about the shopping thing. Isn’t it obvious? We’re still trying to understand why you think anything that comes out of Nicole’s mouth is a good idea.”
I hate traffic, I mean everyone hates it, but right now, it’s making me feel claustrophobic. We’re stuck in a long line of cars that don’t look like they’re going anywhere anytime soon. Maybe I could just leave the car running and jump out; it’d be less painful than the conversation we’re about to have.
“I never said that it was a good idea.”
“But you’ve been thinking about it. Ever since the she-devil left and you came back after brainwashing Cole, you’ve had that look on your face. You’re actually thinking about the fake breakup, aren’t you?” Beth looks ready to hit me.
“If I said that it’s Cole who’s considering it and not me, would you believe me?”
“No way,” Megan scoffs, “he would never even think twice about it.”
“You’d be surprised at the things that he could do when he deludes himself into thinking that he needs to protect me.”
“Then stop acting like you need his goddamn help all the time.”
“I don’t.” I’m starting to get annoyed now, really annoyed. “I didn’t ask to be ridiculed in front of the entire student body, who’ve seen my underwear, by the way. I also didn’t ask for photos of me to go around and advertise the fact that I’m nothing better than a prostitute.” I hear my best friends’ gasps but continue, “And I sure as hell didn’t ask to see a girl wrapped around Cole every time I see him. I trust my boyfriend, and I love him to death for always trying to take care of me, but I don’t purposely put myself into situations just to get his help or attention.”
Both of them are quiet, and I think maybe I’ve come on a bit too strong. “I’m not angry; I just…I wish you guys understood that it’s not easy for me. I’m not big on the idea of any kind of a breakup with Cole, it’d kill me, but then according to him, being together is doing the same thing.”
“Just promise us you’ll exhaust all other options before coming anywhere near Nicole’s idea,” Megan asks me.
“Of course,” I promise, really hoping that I get to keep it.
***
Everyone sleeps in on Saturday, and the girls and I meet for a late lunch. Later in the day I go to have dinner with the Stones, which is awkward as heck, given that Jay’s date is here and she’s staring daggers at me. The moment I make the stupid mistake of excusing myself to go to the bathroom, Rose corners me and is standing outside the guest bathroom when I come out.
“Hi.” She’s got those crazy eyes going on, and I can’t help but feel sorry for Jay. This is going to end badly for him, and he’s probably never going to stop picking the wrong girls.
“Hey?”
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” The way she’s looking at me makes it look like if I don’t answer her question, she’ll plunge her hand dow
n my throat and yank it out.
“Okay, and it is?”
“Is Jay cheating on me with you?”
I nearly start choking on air, well, it’s either that or laugh until tears start streaming down my face, and naturally, I go for the latter.
“I’m sorry—what?” I can’t stop laughing, and it makes her glare harder.
“I’m not stupid. I see the way he looks at you, the way he’s always looking at you. Are you sleeping together?” She moves in as if to intimidate me, but Rose is as threatening as a sloth.
“I’m dating his brother.”
“So?”
“Why would I date a Jason if I have a Cole?”
It’s proof of how horrible of a girlfriend she’s going to make that she accepts my point as being valid, but then her face morphs in anger.
“But you brought his ex to dinner yesterday. If that wasn’t a move to sabotage my relationship, then what was it?”
At this I start laughing again, and I’m pretty sure we’ll have an audience soon if I don’t control myself.
“Nicole remembers Jay with the affection one has for an ingrown toenail. If you thought I’d brought her in for a passionate reunion, you’d be wrong.”
“Well, then she isn’t my problem anymore, you are! He’s got photos of you on his phone and…and I had to force him to bring me home to see his parents. Just…just stay away from him.”
I’m only just absorbing the fact that Jay’s unrequited affections really need to be tamed when Cole appears by my side.
“I think she’s heard enough of your shit, don’t you?”
“Oh, I don’t know, I do have some space left for some more BS, but only if she still thinks she’s capable of spewing some more of it.”
Cole looks at me with a mixture of surprise and amusement on his face. He understands that I don’t really need him to step in for me right now. I see the virtual waving of a white flag as he steps back.
Rose’s face is ironically turning red. “Leave him alone,” she stutters and marches away, stumbling in her heels, and Cole and I burst out laughing even before she’s out of earshot.
The Bad Boy’s Heart Page 26
