by Nini Lili
Ryan nodded his approval and I looked at her confused, what were they talking about?" Jason you have to tell her. Then everything is clear. "
"What are you talking about?" broke it out of me now.
"Man you are in love with!" Ryan said and froze, I stopped. I beg your pardon?
"...What... ???" I stammered and looked at my best friend stunned. That could not be .... I was not such a guy ...! I did not fall in love, I just always wanted to have a quick number and fun! I did not want a girlfriend, no attachment ...
or did it? Deep inside, I knew it was different with Amy. Yes, it was true, I had feelings for her. But be in love, could that be?
"Yeah, Ryan's right, you did not visit them just out of compassion, you always felt bad when things were not going so well with Amy, you're breaking your head over a girl like you've never done before."
"And you can not see how you look at her ..." Ryan added. I tensed my jaw muscles and knew it was true. I have not had any interest in other girls lately .... and I did not manage to get away the feelings ....
"Yeah, well, you're right ... but that does not help me now!" I said stressed and threw my arms in the air.
"Say you!"
No, I definitely could not. Amy was different, besides, I had to convince them first of all, I was myself surprised by myself. I've never been in love with a girl .... I would not even have the guts to say it ...
"Yes, tell her, be a man!" Driven me Dustin.
"But that's not so easy ... I'm not good at it ... Getting one to bed is a lot easier ..." Ohmann, now I was so far crying ... A cigarette would not be bad now for relaxation...
I was completely confused. Besides, Ryan and Dustin were right, I had to talk to her.
The next morning, I sat next to my two friends on the steps in front of the school building and smoked one. With my mouth open, I stared at the blond-haired girl who headed for the entrance to the school.
I squinted and then drew in a startled breath. The girl wore a casual, but perfectly fitting long pants and a top that was more than good for her. It was in a claret color and she wore a matching necklace and earrings. The top looked like a glove and had a low neckline. Besides, she was very lightly made up, so that her blue eyes were really great.
I opened my eyes wide and stared stunned at the pretty girl. It was Amy!
Chapter 17
Her open hair fell over her shoulders, which looked much better than her regular braid. In general, she had straightened up today and looked different than usual. But better ..... still beautiful. Her great body was much better by the clothes much better.
Dustin punched me in the side and I frowned at him.
"Do not drool buddy!" He grinned and I just turned away from him and looked back to Amy.
Who had she been so hard for? I thought you did not care what the others thought of her? In any case, even a few other guys had noticed her and saw her unceremoniously on the buttocks or her neckline. Okey, I could not stop myself either, but why did she dress like that?
One of our parallel class even whistled after her and automatically my hand clenched into a fist.
Amy's POV
I had not missed the eyes of the boys earlier, but I felt a little uncomfortable with so many eyes on my face. My favorite thing to do was pull my head in and hide in a shell. After all, Katy's plan had left.
I had to give, I had liked myself in the mirror and Jason had also looked surprised and fascinated. I had not missed how he had stared at my neckline and watched me all the time. I just pretended not to notice.
It looked as if I'd twisted Jason's eyes, but I was glad to get out of the tight clothes in the afternoon. They had terribly rubbed on the fresh bruises ...
With a bad foreboding, I slowly went to the door when it rang. And as expected, Jason stood before it. "What do you want?" I asked rather harshly. "Can we talk? Please."
Oha, he had said please!
"Yeah ... well ... come on, we'll go a bit ...." I said and quickly pulled the door closed behind me. Relieved, he nodded and we walked silently for a few meters next to each other. Then he stopped and looked me straight in the eye. "Amy, I am so sorry I said that ... I would apologize a thousand more, I am truly sorry."
"Yeah, and now you came here, because suddenly you're interested in me again, after I had a big cutout today," I snorted and looked at him challengingly.
"No, you're so beautiful too ..."
"Save that." I cut him off.
He just wanted to flatter me with his compliments. That did not work for me.
"Amy, I can not see this when you're so hurt, I just think of you lately ..."
He waited for me to say anything, make any gesture, but my face remained rigid.
Restless, he moved from one foot to the other and I felt his thoughts racing. It was not easy for him to say that.
"I always enjoyed spending time with you and you're important to me, as bad as any girl before ..."
"You still have not said why you said I did not care ."
I still did not know what it was all about.
"I was just a stupid asshole, dammit!" He was tearing his hair and by now I knew him so well to realize it was a stressful habit.
"Amy, I .... well ...." he stammered and looked deep into my eyes. Then suddenly he came closer to me with his face. I got extremely nervous and stared at him. My body started to shake, I was afraid of being touched.
Jason seriously wanted to kiss me! So far I could not let it come ... When he was almost with his mouth almost in front of my lips, my breath caught and my heart was pounding wildly.
Without further ado, I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away. He opened his eyes, which he had already closed, surprised and stunned, and looked at me silently. I was unable to move, I had to realize what had just happened. Only my quick breath was heard. I just could not stand this tense silence anymore. I fought to ask if I should say anything, but then turned away as he started to say something and ran away as fast as I could. I needed time to think. Time to digest this situation ...
Jason's POV
Frozen, I stared after Amy still stunned. She had pushed me away! Why? Was it because of me, did not she like me? For a moment I had seen something like panic in her eyes flickering, but I was not sure.
For the first time in my life, I felt a deep sting in my heart. That does not leave me so cold, it already hurt me. ..I wrestled out those incredibly heavy words for me, though I was not good at it and she pushed me away! I could not believe it ...!
All the way to my home, I stared straight ahead, paralyzed. Then I pulled out my phone and called Ryan.
A little later in Ryan's room, I racked my brains.
"That probably went backwards ...." stated my buddy, after I had described the situation to him.
"Thanks Ryan, that really helps me now!" I replied ironically, staring at myself.
"She is the first girl, where I do not want to kiss and served me off !!" I stated grimly.
"But that's exactly what draws you in. She's not as keenly interested in you as the others, but you can not see how she always looks at you."
I gave him a dirty look and then talked him out in desperation.
"What should I do now???"
But Ryan, like me, had no plan for what to do. We two just did not know each other in this matter of feeling. I was a bit frightened of them, but right now I did not want to kiss anything but Amy. This desire grew bigger and bigger ...
I could not believe that I ran after a girl. Actually, it was always the other way around ... But the next time the words will come over my lips and I would tell her that I was in love with her. I did not give up that fast!
Amy's POV
Was that really happening?
Jason, the girl swarm wanted to kiss me! I still could not believe it ... Did he really have feelings for me or did he think of ulterior motives and wanted to use me? In any case, I had also cracked behind my fears, the other hand I wanted to pull him
to me immediately.
I was completely confused, but I had to talk to him tomorrow after school and make it clear, not that he was thinking something wrong ...
and so I did.
After school, I ran to Jason's house. I was relieved to see Zac open and not Mrs. Ray.
Zac looked surprised and then went to fetch his brother. Jason looked at me with the same puzzled look on his face and then asked me to sit next to him in the lawn.
Chapter 18
"I will not apologize if you expect that." he started and looked straight ahead.
"I know, I understand that you are angry, but it's not up to you ..."
He looked questioningly at me now and raised an eyebrow.
"Amy, it took me all over yesterday to say that and then you push me away, I thought you felt something for me too!"
I breathed faster and kneaded my hands. He was right. I liked him more than just friendly ....
"I do too ..." I admitted quietly.
He smiled at me and then took my hands. Immediately an electric shock was blowing through me and I felt very warm.
"I ... Amy I thought for a long time, I fell in love with you ...." he rattled down quickly and I looked at him with wide eyes. Jason really said he was in love with me !!! I had not suffered !!
I smiled at him shyly and then did not know what to say. I definitely had feelings for him as well, just as my heart was racing.
I had to tell him the truth now. The time had come
... "Jason I like you too much, but I pushed you away because I was scared, nobody has ever said such a thing to me, and I've never had a boy ..." I almost whispered. I was so embarrassed, hopefully he did not see how terribly red I started.
"Wa-moment ...? You're naughty !?" He asked completely stunned and surprised. Well, it may not have been normal to have been fucked at 17, but no one was interested in me before.
"Yes, but we can not become anything Jason." I said quickly. Jason still looked me straight in the eye. He apparently could not believe it, he had lots of snogging and other things in contrast to me.
I still was not sure he was serious about falling in love. I thought so Machos like he does not fall in love ??
"Jas -...... Jason, I'm in terrible anxiety .... that's why I pushed you away too ..." it broke out with a whisper, but he had heard me anyway.
Over the years, it was just so inside of me, the touch came mostly when touching and I got it wrong. He was even the only one who was not that bad.
Now he looked at me even more dumbfounded. I had pretty much thrown him off track. Then his worried and stunned expression changed to an incredibly gentle one.
You do not even know that, because you already know it, we can do it slowly, but I do not want anything more than being with you! Together we can do it! " he said desperately and my heart beat somersaults when he said he wanted to be with me. My heart told me that I really wanted that too. He showed understanding for this touch, it did not deter him. He wants to let it go slowly. But how will that work?
"I want to be with you, too, but how do you imagine that? Just you never go slow on girls, do you really mean it, everybody knows your reputation, you never wanted a relationship ...!" I just said what I thought. I saw his expression darken and his hands clenched. I should not have said that ...
"Amy, but it's different with you! I do not know those feelings, but they are incredibly strong, the others do not care about me!" He grabbed his hair and jumped up. I did not know if I should believe him. He was a bad boy. He was just out for one!
"I thought so people like you do not fall in love I do not know if I can believe you I do not want to be one of your bedding, I hope I've made that clear to you And I know as much as you do in this matter but in a relationship you are true to yourself, who is not just for fun! " In the meantime, I've grown louder and he glared at me with a touch of sadness and disappointment. But I had to make it clear that I was not only to have such a time. Now he shouted angrily, "But it happened, Okey, I could not do anything about it and I know you're not like the other sluts! Did you ever think that I'm not always just looking for fun? "I have not looked at any other girl in the last few days! If you can believe me, that I can be different, is your thing. But I thought you knew better now. I tell you that I am in love for the first time in my life and what are you doing? You doubt it and still think I'm that asshole of yore! "
He had become really angry. Okey, he was quite right on some points, but I had to think first. What did I have, what the other Tussen do not have? I just did not understand it. And, of course, I doubted his feelings when he was a macho for years!
He was in a bad mood and he flashed an angry light. "And speaking of trust ... You say you can not trust, that I'm serious with you and what about you, you do not trust me!"
"But I do!" I defended myself.
"DO NOT YOU!" He yelled outright. I had never seen him so angry ... It was getting too much for him, I could not help it.
"Who does not tell me anything and does not entrust me with things,
Confused, I stared at him. What did he mean?
"Amy, the bruises! I'm not stupid, you always have some of them and you touch me! Where do they come from? You do not trust me at all and you do not even trust me!"
His whole body was tense and after he had once again sparkled me angry and hurt, he turned around and left. His otherwise beautiful brown eyes were dark with anger. I did not want. He was so right! I could scream, but I've never said that to anyone ... I did not know what a big deal this was for me ...
But I should not have doubted him, so excited, upset and upset I've never seen him. He seemed to be serious. And even the thing with the nostrils probably did not bother him. Oh man, I just had to bend that again ...!
The rest of the day I spent in my room and thought about it. I first had to realize my own feelings, was I also in love with him? Yes .... presumably .... not only did my heart leap in my arms with nervousness, but because I really liked it ...
the only way to get in touch with it and calm it down is to give it all To tell the truth.
Otherwise he would not speak to me once more and I could not stand that.
I should have told someone for a long time. It eats me up from inside to keep everything for myself. I'm always afraid that my father would come up and beat me not just a bit like this morning, but hospital-ready ....
But I was not ready to trust anyone. I needed time.
Chapter 19
For the next few days I wrestled with me, how, where and if I should confide in him.
At school, Jason had never noticed me, which stung me. He was angry and I understood that too.
After 3 days of this ignoring phase, I could not stand it anymore. I had to tell him. Even if he would probably react totally shocked or freak out. Maybe then he just made himself off the dust and wanted to have nothing more to do with me anyway. I was thinking too much, but I was afraid that he would just let me sit there or maybe I would not get a word out of excitement ... I had never spoken to anyone about my dad. But I was ready now. I had to tell him.
A few days later, I finally dared to send him a message:
Jason, can we please meet? It is important!
When he read the message but did not answer, I wrote to him again.
Jason, PLEASE!
Relieved, I let out a breath as he sent me back to meet us in the city park in half an hour.
Totally nervous and bitchy, I arrived there on time and sat down on a remote bank. I felt that my throat was closed and I could barely breathe, such a huge load lay on me. I swallowed hard as I saw him come up to me. Now the moment had come .... what would he do afterwards? I was so terrified, my hands were already wet and sweaty.
"Hey ..." I brought out softly. He looked at me briefly with an indefinable mine, said just as softly: "Hi ..." and then sat down next to me.
I did not know where to start and was breathing hard. Suddenly I was very tired and dizzy. I had to get rid
of it now ... In a shaky voice, I started: "I have to tell you something ... where do I come from, I'm so closed to everyone ... and ... and that with the bruises You must know, I have never told anyone before, I am terribly afraid of the reaction of you and my father, it is not easy for me to tell, so it has nothing to do with you Jason, I trust you as bad as anyone else ... "
I took a deep breath and tried to suppress the panic. I had to go through this now! I could not always run away ...
Jason had not said anything yet and just looked at me silently, that I should keep talking.
"That-" I cleared my throat. 4 years ago, my mum died like you did, and without her, my dad did whatever he wanted with me, he used to be the same, but my mum stopped there Every day my dad is drunk and stoned, he has no work and takes zero care of me, you know how it looks in our apartment ....
