by Nini Lili
"It's alright, not bad."
Sighing, I let him in, because I could not argue any longer and he certainly would not let up until he was allowed in.
He looked around attentively in the pigsty and I looked anxiously at his expression. Now that I was sick, no one was loitering any more, not my dad anyway.
His mine remained neutral and I quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the stairs before he saw my totally neglected, drinking and drugged father. "My room is upstairs." I said and he walked upstairs to my room behind me. After all, that was neat and tidy. I closed the door behind him and just prayed that my dad would not come up in the next few minutes. Which was very unlikely, because in the afternoon he usually lurked in front of the TV.
I lay down in my bed and he sat down next to me. "hm-" a coughing fit interrupted me and Jason looked at me worriedly.
"Do not make such a face, you do not die of that," I said, half amused, but his mine was serious. He reached out a hand and then felt my forehead. First I flinched as always at the touch and then relaxed immediately. My skin felt even warmer, in the place where he had touched me.
"You're hot," he stated worriedly and I laughed. "I know ..." I teased my eyelashes seductively and he only rolled his eyes. "Amy, that's not funny!" I just could not help him at the moment and not because of the last few days, he was just so worried about me and about his company after groaning, doing well.
"I have learned such interpretations from you ...." I said with a smile and could also elicit a crooked grin.
Suddenly my heart raced as he looked deep into my eyes and looked at me so intensely.
"Well, what did you want to tell me about what happened at school?" I caught myself halfway and deliberately looked to a point on the wall, past him.
"We did not do anything important." He said grinning and with open mouth I looked at him. "And that's why you come here? To tell me that?"
"No. I ... wanted to see you." He stammered softly and then regained his self-confidence. "I'm sure it was boring without me." He winked at me and I smacked him on the arm, grinning.
I urgently needed something to drink, the bottle next to my bed was already empty. I got up shakily and shuffled along the wall to the door.
"Hey where do you want to go?" he asked, examining me.
"Get a drink ..."
"You can not get up, you should stay lying!"
"Are you a doctor or something?" Slipped it out with a grin and he shook his head in disbelief. "Say, when did you become so cheeky and self-confident?"
Through you ... I thought, but just shrugged and shuffled slowly down the stairs. Jason ran after me and stood in my way. "Does your father not care about you ???"
"I told you, we do not get along so well ..." oh dear, he would only know how bad.
"Then I'll take over the part for the next few days." He said determinedly and pushed me determinedly back to bed, while he brought something to drink.
I hope he just would not see my dad or talk to him. Jason would be shocked to meet my dad and he would be so mad that Jason was in 'his' apartment.
He kept his word and took his new job extremely seriously. Yesterday, he also came to school immediately and made sure I had enough food, drink, entertainment and warmth.
He was totally s, caring and even made me laugh sometimes.
"Do not you have any school?" I asked with a grin as Jason turned up at 10 o'clock in the morning.
"Yes, but I only hive for you ...."
Jason's POV
I smirked as she blushed. That somehow looked .... cute ...
just took the grapes from the bedside table, which I had previously taken and wanted to put one in his mouth, but I stopped her.
"Hey, what's that?" she complained.
"I'm feeding you now ..."
"So I'll get it myself ..."
I ignored the objection, pulled a bunch of grapes from the bundle and then slid closer to her. Slowly, I brought the grape to her mouth, which she had already opened well. I looked deep into the beautiful blue eyes and laid the grape on her tongue. My fingers touched her lips and automatically I breathed faster. They felt so soft ...
As I continued to feed her, she smiled shyly at me, then slid down onto the bed next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. I realized how she tensed and totally tensed, then, after a while, she leaned on me hesitantly. Why was she always so stiff? Did not she trust me?
But I had to give, it was
fun to care for her and well ... at the same time, I had a reason to visit her ... I just have the urge to do something with her because I feel sorry for her and me Worry about her because of the fever and the bruises ... I told myself, but I did not even believe it myself.
I did not want to feel that way for her, but the bland feelings just did not turn off.
"Why does it smell like a cigarette all over here? Do you smoke? I thought you detest her like that?"
I had smelled grass downstairs too, but I did not like that. The kitchen even had a box and bottles of alcohol were everywhere.
She had said explicitly, I should rather not make me aware of her father, he would be sensitive and would like to throw me out right away. That's why I looked around quietly. I wanted to stand by her even longer, as long as she was sick ... oh god, how that sounded ...
"No, I do not smoke, and yes, I do not like it, because my dad is always a good example of how that makes you break down, he smokes a lot." She answered my question. Yes, you can say that. I secretly looked around and saw her dad sitting in front of the TV. He did not look good and was too smart, he probably took drugs very often.
Amys POV
In the evening, I was alone in my bed staring at the wall. By now I felt much better. I had only a little snuff, but was totally
knocked out While I could not fall asleep again, I thought of Jason. Would he hold me now in my arms, I could definitely fall asleep again very fast .... And with him it strangely made me not so much, for example, if he put an arm around me ....
In the last few days he had taken so much time for me, actually he had always stayed until the evening. That was so nice, but I did not understand why he did that. Maybe he liked me? Looks that way, but he could just feel sorry for me. Yes, that was probably it. So far no one was interested in me ....
Chapter 15
Today was Sunday. Tomorrow I would go back to school.
By noon Jason sat in bed next to us and we just talked about God and the world.
Even though I felt really good again, Jason still insisted on going to the kitchen to get some food. I found that totally ridiculous and went after him.
Frozen, I stopped and looked at the scene in front of me. My father was standing opposite Jason in the hall, looking at him with bloodshot eyes. Jason, on the other hand, just looked at him silently, with a neutral mine. Shit!
On the last day before I went back to school my dad had to see him! Great, that had to happen now ...
Well, it was very unlikely that the two would not see each other in the one week Jason came into the apartment day in and day out. I would prefer it and it would be best if the two had nothing to do with each other ....
Hopefully, my father did not rest ... Okey, he did it anyway .
"WHAT DO YOU DO HERE? he snapped at Jason and then looked at me for a moment, saying that I would pay for it.
Jason wanted to say something, but I pushed him out to the tre and closed it behind us.
Just in time, before he had presumably gone on Jason ... he looked as if he had already drunk 3 bottles this morning ....
"Do not take it personally ...." I mumbled apologetically.
Yesterday, I had Jason somehow successfully sucks off and he had gone home.
As expected, in the evening my father did not just give me a luncheon that I should not bring anybody in the house, he was also thrown violently. My shoulder hurt especially, it had got off a lot. Generally, I was surprised that I had not been bone-breaking for a long
time.
Once again, sadness overwhelmed me as I had to live with my father.
I decided to visit the cemetery again this afternoon. I had not done that long enough, since I just did not get out of the house since last week.
I had a lot of work to do at school, but I got it. As I was about to make my way to the cemetery after school, Jason asked me if I would like to come to his house. I said no and said that I had something else to do. It was like that, I went to visit my mum.
I knew that she probably could not hear me wherever she was. But still, I sometimes told her at the grave what the latest news was.
Today I just stared at the gravestone with a aching heart and silently let the tears flow.
Behind me cracked a branch and I started driving around. Jason stood behind me. Did he chase me?
"Yes-jason ...?" I stammered and sniffled. Quickly I wiped away the tears, he should not think that I was weak.
"Your mother?" He asked softly, as he stepped next to me and pointed to the tombstone.
I nodded and swallowed hard. 'Do not just run away from him ...!'
But I could not stand it anymore and sobbed loudly. My tears streamed down my cheek and Jason gave me a compassionate look. "Is okey ..." he whispered, pulling me to his back. I ignored the bad feeling, the touch and buried my head sobbing against his chest.
"Shhh ...." he said reassuringly and stroked my head. I did not care that I cried his shirt full, I was just so glad he was there. It just felt surprisingly good to be held by someone.
"I miss her so ...." I said briskly as he stroked my back reassuringly.
He did not say anything, just pressed me closer to him and wiped a towel off my face.
In retrospect, my outburst was a little embarrassing, but he only smiled at me understandingly and sympathetically.
I had told him a thousand times that he did not have to accompany me, but still he brought me to the door.
The next day during the lesson Jason smiled at me again and again and I looked away. What does that mean? I could not arrange it, but I found myself smiling back once.
After school, I briefly went to the bathroom. When I left the girl's loo, I stopped jerking when I heard someone say my name. I glanced around the corner and saw Dustin, Jason, Ryan standing by their lockers with an unknown girl.
I do not like Amy, she does not care about me, just look like she's always running around! " I heard Jason say. Terrified, my heart stopped and stunned I perceived what Jason had said to his friends ...
My heart contracted painfully.
Either it was true, he did not like me at all and had been planning to get close to me all the time, which did not work out, or he liked me and said it just to be cool in front of his friends. Surely I was embarrassed or he had just told the girl that he could have something else to do with her. No matter what reason he had, I was hurt. I pulled myself together not to cry, turned the corner and jostled Jason.
Terrified, he watched with. Well, I would say caught .... I just lowered my eyes, he did not see my verrterischen shiny eyes and then ran away quickly.
"Amy! Wait ...!" He yelled after me, but I just ran away. Only gone.
Nobody liked me. It always has been and always will be.
Jason's POV
shit! Amy ran past me injured. Her face was sadly distorted and that was only my fault! ScheieScheieScheie !!!! I did not mean to say that .... "Amy! Wait ...!" I called and ran after her in panic.
"Crap!" I cursed to myself when she did not stop. Why did I just say such a nonsense! ??! Because of me she did not like! How could I be so stupid and say something wrong!
I had no idea why I said that .... I probably just wanted to stand there in front of the boys.
Do not look weak ... I liked Amy, very much, I just did not want the Ryan and Dustin pulling me off with it ...!
I caught up with her in the schoolyard and got her upper arm packed.
She whirled around, shouting furiously, "DO NOT touch ME!"
Startled, I flinched back at her vehemence.
"Is everything all right, how could I just think that someone would like me?" she said sadly, shaking her head in disbelief and then rushing away with tears in her eyes.
Breathing heavily, I watched her sadly. Shit!
"Hey, everything ok Bro?" Dustin suddenly put a hand on my shoulder from behind, which I shook off immediately.
"Let me!"
Wtend I kicked a can from the ground and grabbed my hair. I totally messed it up!
That's when I met a girl I liked, very much, who was already sensitive and closed, and I just thought of myself and screwed things up! I could just cut myself one! She had to feel completely betrayed ....
I had to make that clear ....
Chapter 16
Amys POV
I could not wait to get into my room as soon as possible and then immediately threw myself on the bed. The tears flowed and flowed and flowed. Did not I mean anything to anyone?
And he had even insulted me !!
He only looks at the outside, I thought clothes would not matter to him ...
Sadly, I buried my head in the pillow. So, was it just Jason's show? I had no idea but this internal, stabbing pain was much worse than external.
This feeling of simply not having anyone who liked one ..... it totally made me feel so good. Inside was a deep, black hole.
Well or bel I had to go to school the next day. I felt dull and deep dark circles were visible, but I did not care.
I was not afraid, I was just totally disappointed and would love to never meet Jason again. He just took advantage of me, in truth I did not mean anything to him ...
The one with the go out went the first few hours well. Jason glared at me, but I ignored him and managed to dodge him so that he did not engage me in a conversation. The lesson passed me by and I did not get a sentence, which the teacher said. In the last break, Jason somehow managed to catch me.
"Amy I did not mean that, please can we-" he began pleadingly but I cut him off sharply and shouted:
"I had you open! At last someone trusted me And now I learn that you me Or was I just too embarrassed by your pleasures? "
I put all my anger and sorrow into these words and turned and ran away.
After the last hour, I had disappeared from the school grounds as fast as never before. I did not mean it that way! Pfff, what was wrong with that !? There was only one reason why he had said that: He really meant it that way.
About noon, I tried to distract myself by once the whole apartment rumzten again. Then I sat in my room and just stared at the wall. Suddenly Katy remembered me and I wrote to her:
Hi Katy!
I need your advice, do we want to meet in the city park?
She was somehow still the only one I understood myself with. Fortunately, she soon wrote back and shortly thereafter she sat next to me on the bank of the city park.
When I finished my tale, she looked at me sympathetically. "That's the last one .... how are you doing?"
I shrugged my shoulders. Just everything was just shit. What did I hold all this for? Nobody would miss me, I would not be there any more ...
"Hey, do not make a face like that! You should talk to him ...!" she exclaimed encouragingly and I just gave an incomprehensible "Hmpf ..." from me.
"And only that tells you, I think you're pretty, very much, and Jason has no right to offend you like that, you have to show it to this boy, do not let that get you down!"
"And how?" I asked little enthusiastically.
"Show him what he missed and how wrong he was."
"Katy, I do not want to travel him or anything like that ..."
She stared at me unswervingly and kept talking.
"Come on, let's go, I'll give you some outfit tips ....
Jason's POV
"Hey Jason, have you got any new ones, have not had one at the start for a long time, can that be?" Dustin asked with a grin and fell to the sofa next to me and Ryan.
/>
"Keep your mouth shut!" I called annoyed and grabbed my hair.
"Age alright, do not be so irritated."
"Man, I was so stupid!" I just said softly to myself and buried my face in my hands.
"Jason, you have to tell Amy why you said it and it's not true." Ryan said and smacked my shoulder in a friendly tone.
"How is that supposed to work, if I can not even explain myself !?" I said annoyed by myself and stood up. "As she had looked at today ... totally done, she has no other friends, so I've hurt her even more! I'm such an idiot, hopefully she's not doing any ..." I mumbled, while I tiger through the room.
Dustin and Ryan looked genuinely worried.
"Come on down, do not worry so much!"
I ignored Dustin and grabbed my hair.
"Man, I never had any remorse!
To make matters worse, I also insulted her appearance, while she is one of the hbschesten girls! "
" Boar, you really hit it full. Krass. "Dustin stated and I just looked at him confused,
" That's why you have not flattened for so long ...! "
