End of the Line

by Frater, Lara

  “Still ugly. How’s it feel?”

  “Not as bad, still stings a bit.”

  She put ointment on it, then bandaged it. At least it didn’t hurt as much as when it first happened.

  “You’ll probably have a scar.”

  “At least I’ll be cool.”

  Dave told Ashley to pull over to a Sunoco station with several abandoned cars. She managed to drive the entire time with only a few sideswipes. A sign read four miles to I90. This would be where we would say goodbye.

  Tanya and I searched the gas station for gas additives while Dave worked on getting a car started; a New York plated green Nissan Sentra with a faded Romney/Ryan bumper sticker.

  Tanya easily dispatched a zombie attendant at the door already with several stabs and gun wounds but it looked like no one got a head shot.

  I searched the shelves, grabbed some candy, including Milky Ways which I knew Dave liked, and a bunch of additives. When we got outside, Dave was siphoning gas from an SUV and putting it into the convertible and showing Ashley how to do it. I put the additives in both the Sentra and convertible. I had to be out of my mind letting Ashley go. A million things could go wrong. Dave moved from the convertible to the Sentra. Ashley got behind the wheel.

  “Try it now,” Dave said. Ashley turned the key and the engine came to life.

  “Yeaha!” she said.

  “Why don’t you drive it a little,” I said. “See how it feels.”

  “No,” Dave said. “We’re giving her the convertible.”

  “But Dr. Goldstein.”

  “Fuck him. She learned on this car. I want her to take it and one of Mike’s rifles. I don’t think she’ll make it but let’s give her a chance.” He said it in earshot of Ashley but she didn’t say anything.

  We split the supplies, giving Ashley most of it. She went to Tanya and hugged her, then kissed Dave and then stopped at me.

  “Dear Sweet Jim—“

  “Ashley, don’t go.”

  “I have to, there’s nothing left for me here,” she said, then kissed me. She got into the convertible. I never saw her again.

  Interlude: Ashley

  My ex was the reason I stopped driving. He didn’t like women driving, saying I’m a wife and a homemaker. We couldn’t afford a second car and he didn’t want me driving his. My job: stay home, keep the house clean, take care of the kids and cook for him while he provided financial support for us. It was a lie of course. He had an affair that I thought was my fault because I didn’t give enough to him. I accepted it. If it was something he needed, let him have it, as long as we had a roof over our head. Then he decided he wanted more than an affair, he wanted to be with her.

  I swerved to not smash into a truck. Dave told me to go slow and steady. I had no timetable. Slow, steady, and careful like my entire life.

  I thought she was some bimbo, but it turned out she was my age, and if she hadn’t stolen my husband I would have liked her. I don’t completely blame her, even though I called her a home wrecker and a whore. He was the inconsiderate one. Not wanting to be a husband was one thing, not wanting to be a father was another. He left when Katie was 8 and Martin 12. At first he saw them every weekend like clockwork, then it was every other weekend, then one day every other weekend, then he moved with his new bride and their new child to Texas, promising the kids, summer and winter vacation visits.

  That never happened. The kids barely heard from him. Sometimes at their birthday they would get cards with a little cash. I had to use the courts to get child support on a regular basis. After he left, I still didn’t bother to learn to drive. He left me destitute, so I couldn’t afford a car or a house. We lived in a tiny apartment infested with roaches but near the buses and the LIRR. My ex lived in a ranch house with a pool while his kids lived in squalor.

  It didn’t take me long to get to Albany, except the city had burnt to the ground taking a most of the highway with it. I saw the skeletal remains of our once capital city. I kept calm but wondered if Jim was right. Maybe I was making a stupid mistake. It’d be easy to turn back now. I could follow the maps back to CostKing.

  Katie, my baby, got addicted to drugs when she was 15. Martin was the responsible one. At 18, he got a football scholarship to Hofstra. While I spent all my time with Katie who was in and out of rehab, he graduated college with honors and went to law school. Katie was stoned at his wedding. I made excuses. Martin and his wife had my two lovely grandkids, Cecilia and Sean. He got a job at a prestigious law firm in San Diego.

  He told me Katie was a lost cause. He wanted me to come with them to California and leave Katie behind to sort out her own mess. I told him he was selfish. Told him we had to look after her. He said he was tired of being the dad in the family and that while he loved Katie, I was always there when she fell. He was right, but I wouldn’t admit it. I blamed myself for her father leaving and her drug addiction. I let her stay with me while hooked on drugs.

  Katie did manage to stay clean for six months and met a man named Joey in rehab. It seemed like this nightmare was over. She decided to go to school to become an accountant and managed to get a job.

  I used the map to find a route around Albany and ended up on Route 20. It took me through pretty mountain ridges but the huge cracks and potholes in the road showed signs of a bad winter. Sometimes I had to drive on dirt, feeling the bumps in my old bones. I wondered if I had any chance of making it. I don’t think the others believed I did.

  Katie invited her father and his new family to her engagement party. They accepted then cancelled at the last minute. Katie relapsed and never made it to the altar. Joey left her, which in the beginning I blamed him for. Ending it with Katie had devastated him but he had put his addiction behind him and he couldn’t be with Katie until she did. He told me what Martin told me, I needed to stop enabling her. I realized they were both right. I sent her to rehab again and then told the daughter I loved her but she was on her own. If she didn’t stay clean I wouldn’t help her.

  I slammed on the brakes when I saw the girl and a cloud of dust went into the air. The girl, living, looked about twelve years old, white but tanned, brown hair, wearing a yellow sun dress. She waved her arms at me to stop. I stopped, knowing it could be a trap, but the rifle was the only thing I had of value and besides this was a kid. I had to. Even with what happened with Jennifer.

  I shut the car off and got out then walked over to the girl.

  “You all right, honey?”

  “You’re the first person, I’ve seen in a while,” she said. “Glad you aren’t a scary man. You look like my grandma.”

  Many women would feel insulted, I felt flattered.

  “Do you need help?”

  “Yes,” she said. “I need a ride.”

  “I’m not coming back this way.”

  “I need to leave,” she said.

  I looked around. My heart sank. “You’re here all alone?”

  “Since mom died.”

  “How long ago was that?”

  The girl shrugged.

  “You got family?

  “Maybe—grandparents in Ohio, but I don’t know if they’re alive. They’re pretty old.”

  Katie didn’t shake the drugs right away, she came to me one night, high, claiming she was homeless, sleeping on the streets, and I didn’t let her in. I never cried as hard as I did that night.

  “You’ve seen a lot of zombies?” I asked. Terror filled my mind over the thought of this little girl alone.

  “Once in a while,” she said. “I hide from them— What’s your name?”

  “Ashley, yours?”

  “Kathleen, but everyone calls me Kathy.”

  I looked at the sky. The late afternoon sun hid behind some grey clouds, indicating it could rain. Might be a good idea to stay here for the night.

  “Kathy, can I stay here tonight? We can leave tomorrow. I’m heading west to California. I think Ohio’s on the way.”

  “That’s sounds great,” she said, with a big
smile.

  It was the near overdose that finally woke her. Katie’s drug of choice was heroin and she OD’d on a stranger’s couch. They called an ambulance. After they managed to revived her, something changed. Katie faced her own mortality with a new determination. After being three months clean I let her move in with me. She got a job at a fast food restaurant, then enrolled in community college. She found a place with two other girls and was one year drug free.

  Kathy, despite her young age, kept the house neat. The house itself had a length of chicken wire and stringed cans around it. Easy for us to get around but not a zombie.

  “Your mom didn’t die of a zombie bite?” I asked. The living room of the ranch house was covered in pictures of two smiling adults with three smiling children, two girls and one boy. One of the girls was Kathy.

  “No,” she said, matter of fact, no tears, no emotion. “She was sick for a while. No doctors.”

  “You two lived here alone?”

  She nodded. “Dad, Carol and Shane all died of the flu at the hospital.”

  I didn’t press on.

  “My mom and I slept in the same room. I’ve been sleeping there since. You can stay in my room if you want.”

  “That’s fine.”

  When we found Katie’s body, she had been almost three years drug free. I was beyond upset and angry, cursing god for this plague. Cursing him because Katie finally got her life together and he took it.

  Throughout all of Katie drug years, Martin contacted me once a week. I called him once in a while. He visited with the kids only twice. I never went out to California. I always wanted to be here in case Katie was ready to be clean. I never gave Martin the time he needed. I thought he was fine, great wife, kids and job. He didn’t need my help. I was wrong.

  “We have a little propane left. That’s one of the reason I need to move on. We used a lot of the propane last winter for heat but I don’t think we have enough for next winter and it ain’t like there’s any at the store.” We had plenty of propane at CostKing. I thought of the winter. Would I make it to California before then?

  I should have been there more for Martin. I should have gone out to California. Maybe not to live but I should have let him know I would always be there for him. And if he was still there, if my grandkids were there, I had to.

  “What’s in California?” the girl asked.

  “My son, my two grandchildren.”

  “They still alive?”

  “I don’t know, but I plan to find out.”

  “If we can’t find my grandparents or they’re dead, can I come with you?”

  I smiled. I thought about the long lonely journey ahead of me. It would be dangerous, but Kathy looked like she had a good head on her shoulders.

  And Martin needed to know how much his mother loved him.

  Part III Dave

  Chapter 18

  I wanted to get back to Annemarie, Jake, Dot and the kid. I even got the car to 50 for five minutes before Jim told me to slow down. I missed the convertible. It was a cooler car for Ashley to die in.

  I should’ve stopped her but I couldn’t. All I do is yell, but I don’t use force, not anymore. That’s why my wife left me and my kid barely spoke to me. That’s why all these yoyos in CostKing think I’m all bark and no bite.

  Glad my kid was safe. I hope she made it to Vermont and having a wonderful fucking time without me. Guess I can’t blame her.

  I got us to Westchester around five, a trip that should have taken three hours, even with traffic, took six. I saw some nice houses in the area, not a lot of zombs, and thought this might be a good place to crash. Getting to Albany and back was easy, we rode on the south bound lanes both ways. No one wanted to go into New York, and not a lot of people broke the rules by riding the wrong way. I saw smashed up cars on the divider. Don’t blame them for trying.

  “I wonder where the Ham guy is,” Tanya said, messing with the radio.

  “I’ll check the net,” Jim said. “Oh wait, it’s down.”

  I think Jim was one of them computer nerds and his jokes were stupid.

  I can deal with both of them okay, but Jim’s a queer so I don’t really like him being near me. I don’t want him making a pass or nothing. Tanya’s a bitch. Rachel seems to think she’s some holy messiah ‘cause she can shoot and survive, but she was some kind of crack-whore before this and I hope she won’t be once again when our guys put the zombs down. It’s taking them a while but I know our soldiers will come through. They gotta.

  I grabbed a milky way as I searched for a good house on the block. I found one that looked pretty secure. The door was locked but Tanya got us in without trouble. For this case, I was glad to have her.

  Didn’t smell any dead bodies, a smell that that I’m too tired of or hear any people or zombies. Jim squealed at the sight of a book case. He grabbed one off the dusty shelf and settled on the couch. I wasn’t really a book reader. I read stuff for my job but it never really interested me. I missed television. Baseball season should be happening right now. We passed Yankee stadium getting here. It was hard to look at it all empty and decaying.

  I knew Jim was weak from the dog attack but we needed to check the place out.

  I didn’t say anything. Tanya cooed over him. Didn’t she know he was a fag? I figured I’d check upstairs and grab the biggest room before one of them did. I didn’t hear any movement upstairs so I think the place was secure of zombs and people.

  Upstairs I found three empty rooms, and I grabbed the biggest one that had a queen size bed. I’ve been hoping for a king’s size since Tanya, that bitch, grabbed the only one in the house in Oyster bay. They gave the only king size bed at CostKing to that fat bitch and the kiddies.

  I put my stuff down and headed downstairs where Tanya still chatted with Jim.

  “I’m going to look around,” I said. Tanya gave me a nod.

  “Jim’s gonna rest and take first watch.”

  I was glad to hear that. I hated night watches. I get bored easily and that caused me to snooze. I got sleep apnea, and there wasn’t electricity to run a sleep machine. Rachel is the only one who knows. She can’t get me a machine but she set up my bed to help. I also use anti-snoring strips. Rachel gaves me stimulants if I have a bad night and she gave me some for this trip. The good thing about the CostKing is at least I can nap regularly. I didn’t like her knowing, but I respect she never told anyone, even when pissed.

  I know I am a prime candidate for a heart attack as my dad died of one when he was 72. Doctors kept him alive for a long time. Now there aren’t any doctors and Rachel’s only a nurse.

  I went into the kitchen first. People were here before because I found a big mess. I located a can of tuna, but no can opener, so I grabbed one from my pack. Jim came up with the idea of a survival bag and I made suggestions on what to put in them. Each bag had a Leatherman knife, can opener, flashlight, two cans of food, water bottle, first aid kit and a weapon. Mine was a crowbar and now I had my own rifle. No one strayed far from their pack. I was hoping on this trip we could find some of them shake up flashlights, but none so far.

  I got the can opener out of my pack when I heard a rustling noise from the backyard. I pulled the crowbar out, only to see a dog appear at a window above the sink, looking greedily at my tuna. I worried about what happened to Jim, but the dog seemed small, dirty but not messed up like the other dogs. It was some kind of terrier that was wagging both its tail and tongue. It had a collar. It barked once.

  “This tuna’s mine,” I told it but I looked around the kitchen for food. By luck, I found some dog food. I looked out the windows for zombs and when I didn’t see any, I opened the door a crack. The dog despite its size came barreling in.

  “Shit,” I said. I slammed the door shut. The dog circled me, excitedly, and barked. It was friendly though.

  “What the fuck,” came a voice from the hall. Tanya came in. Look at me, looked at the dog.

  “I was gonna to feed it outside, but it came in,”
I said. “The thing’s starving.”

  “Are you crazy? Jim’s freaking out.”

  I got mad. This dog and the ones that attacked Jim were different.

  “This one’s friendly,” I said, opening the can and putting it on the floor. The dog began eating like a madman. “You didn’t seem too concerned when we took in the kid’s cat. Let the thing eat.”

  “You need to lock it away”

  “He needs to suck it up,” I said.

  She looked mad, but I didn’t care. I had food and this poor dog was hungry and friendly.

  “Tanya—“ said Jim’s voice from the other room. “Can you come here, please?” Tanya didn’t say anything. She walked back to the living room.

  I investigated the dog. It was a girl. She let me look at her collar while trying to lick me. Her name was Olive. Her owners were the Weitzes and if lost she needed to be returned to this address.

  This was her home. Her owners had abandoned her. I felt despair in the pit of my stomach. Olive wasn’t the only animal abandoned to the zombies. I thought of Aisha’s Chinakitty.

  I heard footsteps. Tanya came back to the kitchen. She seemed calmer than before.

  “Jim wants you to bring the dog to the living room.”

  I look around for something I could use for a leash but figured the dog was small enough to carry and she let me do it without a fuss.

  I brought her into the living room where Jim sat on the couch. Jim didn’t look good and I wondered if us pushing the car was too much. I figured I’d try to make it to Oyster Bay by tomorrow night.

  “Put her on the couch,” he said.

  I put her on the couch and Olive went and licked Jim’s face. He smiled and laughed.

  “Sorry Dave,” Tanya said. Then she petted the dog. “Sorry mutt.”

  “Yeah sure,” I said. I didn’t mean to upset Jim. He’s okay for a fruit. “Her name is Olive.”

  After Olive washed Jim, she came back to me.

  “Guess she can sleep here,” Tanya said and she smiled.

  I slept pretty good with Olive next to me. She woke me once to use the john. I took her to the basement and she refused to go. She was a well-trained dog. She went with some coaxing.