“And they want to adopt you?”
“Yeah.” Austin tilted his chin defiantly.
“How do they treat you?”
“They’re kinda strict,” he admitted.
His dad sat up straight. “Do they hit you?”
Austin snorted. Yeah, right. “No. Not like that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I dunno. They just have a lot of rules. They’re nice to me though. Stephen’s teaching me how to do math. And they sent me to art camp this summer.”
“You draw?”
“Yeah, I’ve been doing it forever.” But his dad wouldn’t know that. He’d been gone by the time Austin had art class with Mr. C and had discovered he was really, really good at it.
“How many kids do they have?”
“Just me.”
“What’s their house like?”
“It’s an apartment,” Austin said. “A big, big one. And there’s a pool on the roof and a giant balcony, and Russ grills out for dinner a lot.” He was kind of rubbing it in his dad’s face, but he deserved it. He’d given up on Austin and Austin’s mom and their family. “We went out on their sailboat a while ago. That was pretty cool.”
“Do you want them to adopt you?”
The words were right there on the tip of his tongue, but suddenly Austin couldn’t say them out loud. Because a part of him, some weird little piece of him, still wanted his family back. He wanted his dad to get up and walk out of here with him. To take him home to the little house on Murphy Court with the tree in the backyard Austin liked to climb. He wanted his dad to carry him into the house and kiss his mom like he remembered him doing when he was little.
But those were stupid kid thoughts. His dad had screwed that all up and he wasn’t coming back. His mom was gone, and his dad was locked up here and was going to be for a long, long time. Kellie was living in her car.
Austin’s home now was in the apartment with pool on the roof and the guys who were always giving him worried looks. They hadn’t been around for very long, but he was starting to think maybe they meant it when they said they wanted him there. That they cared about him and were going to be a family. That they loved him.
His eyes stung and he wiped his nose on his arm. “Yeah.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m sure.” He looked his dad in the eye. “I want to stay with Russ and Stephen. I want a real family.”
His dad’s face turned red and he clenched his fist tight and closed his eyes.
And Austin sat there with his stomach aching, wondering if he’d just screwed it all up.
“How did it go?” Russ asked Sandy the moment they returned.
“It went as well as can be expected, Mr. Bishop,” she said calmly.
Well, that’s less than helpful. He said a polite goodbye and thank you to her and gave her an entirely fake smile.
“Bye, Austin,” she said.
“Bye,” he muttered.
Russ tried to resist the urge to slam the door shut. She was just doing her job and he was supposed to be the mature, responsible adult here. He closed the door carefully and locked it behind him.
Austin was kicking off his shoes as Russ turned to face him. He had a scowl on his face.
“How’d it go for you?” Russ asked gently.
“Fine.” He threw the shoes in the closet. Russ refrained from reminding him to treat things gently. Now was definitely not the time.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Okay,” Stephen said softly. “How about dinner? I was thinking we could get Chinese takeout tonight. We haven’t done that in a while.”
“Not hungry.”
“You need to eat something,” Russ protested.
“I said I’m not hungry.” He glowered at them.
“How about this?” Stephen said. “We’ll order your favorites and you can eat them when you are hungry. Whether that’s when they get here, later tonight, or tomorrow.”
“Whatever.” Austin dropped his backpack on the bench near the door. “Can I just go to my room now?”
“Yeah, you can,” Stephen said.
Russ glanced over. “Stephen …”
“Russ. Let him go.” Stephen rested a hand on his arm. “If he needs space, we need to give that to him.”
Austin looked between them, but he didn’t move until Russ nodded. “You’re right. Okay, if you need some space, you can go in your room now, Austin. We’d like to talk to you later today though, okay?”
Austin left without another word. Russ sighed heavily. “I’m smothering him, aren’t I?”
“You’re not trying to.”
Russ scrubbed his hands across his face. “I just … I think about how much I had to manage on my own as a kid, and I don’t want that for him. He needs us.”
“Russ, it’s perfectly understandable that you want to do things differently than either of your parents did. Of course you want to show Austin that you aren’t going to leave like your mother did. And as much as I love Alan, I know he didn’t have the time to be there for you emotionally. Neither did my parents. We want to do better. We just can’t go so far in the other direction we make him want to pull away though.”
“I know that. God, I do, I just … I want to be there for him.”
“You can be there for him without pushing him. Today was incredibly hard for him, I’m sure. Let him come to us when he’s ready.”
“Okay. I will.”
“Come on, let’s figure out dinner. What do you want to order?”
“I’m not even that hungry now either,” Russ admitted as he followed Stephen into the kitchen. “I’m too worried about Austin.”
“The rule holds true for you too,” Stephen said. “I’ll order your favorites and you can eat them when you’re hungry.”
Russ sighed, feeling a little of the weight drop off his shoulders. “What would I do without you?”
Stephen pressed his lips to Russ’s cheek and Russ leaned into the touch gratefully. “The good news is, if I have anything to say about it, you’re never going to have to find out.”
“You were right. This was a good idea,” Russ said forty-five minutes later as he lifted a bite of beef and broccoli to his mouth. “I was hungry.”
“I thought you might be.”
Out of the corner of Russ’s eye, he caught a glimpse of Austin hovering near the entrance to the kitchen. Russ gave him a smile but didn’t say anything. Let him come to us, Russ reminded himself.
Austin shot him a hesitant smile but didn’t come any closer. Stephen silently held out a carton of food.
Austin approached warily and took a seat in his usual spot. “Can I just eat and not talk about stuff?” His eyes were narrowed, and he sat on the edge of his chair like he might bolt at any moment.
“Sure,” Russ said. “Stephen and I can talk about other things, and you can chime in if you have something you want to add. Otherwise, just enjoy your food.”
He swallowed and nodded.
“Want an egg roll?” Russ offered him one.
“Yep.” He glanced up through his eyelashes. “Can I get plum sauce for it?”
Russ handed him a couple of packets without a word.
“Thanks,” Austin whispered.
“You’re welcome. Want something to drink?”
“Water, I guess? I’m kinda thirsty.”
“I’ll grab you a glass.”
After Russ set the water in front of Austin, who was tearing into an egg roll, he turned to Stephen.
“So, I was thinking about what we should do for Austin’s birthday.”
“My birthday?” Austin lifted his head.
“Yeah, it’s in a couple of weeks, right?”
“Yeah. I thought you didn’t know when it was.”
Russ scoffed. “Of course we know when your birthday is.”
“Oh. So what are we doing?”
“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
“Well, we’re not going to do a ’round the world cruise or anything,” Stephen said. “But a day out doing something fun sounds good to me. There’s a lot to do in Atlanta, or we could take a day trip somewhere. Any ideas of what you’d like to do?”
“Um, I dunno.”
Austin seemed overwhelmed by having to pick, so Russ pulled out his phone. “Okay, let’s see what’s going on around here that weekend. There’s the aquarium, the Coke Museum, we could do a Braves game. There’s the zoo.”
“The zoo?” Austin lifted his head. “We could do that?”
“Sure. Why wouldn’t we be able to?”
“I dunno. I thought maybe it was stupid and just for little kids?”
“I don’t think there’s an age limit for looking at animals. I enjoyed it when we took my family there a couple of years ago,” he said diplomatically. Funny, Austin had hated the idea of looking at animals at the county fair. But maybe he’d just been pretending to hate it. Whatever the reason, Russ wasn’t going to discourage him from asking for something he wanted.
“Yeah, the zoo would be good, I guess.” Austin continued. “Um, I kinda want to go to the center too though, to see Kellie.”
Russ wondered if Austin needed to talk to his sister about the visit with their father.
“Well, if you want, you can go to the center on Saturday and we could go to zoo on Sunday. Or, you could text her and see if she wants to come to the zoo with us, maybe?” Russ offered. “We could pick her up or have her meet us there. We’ll pay for the tickets of course.” He glanced over at Stephen, who nodded.
Austin’s fork clattered to the plate. “Really?”
“Yeah. I know it can be kinda hard to get ahold of her but sure.”
“I mean you—you don’t mind having her around?”
“Why would we mind?”
“I dunno. I just thought you might.”
“It’s your birthday,” he said firmly. “If you want Kellie there, we do too.”
TWENTY-FIVE
“Stephen?” Russ sounded surprised as he picked up his work line. “What’s wrong?”
“Can you get away from your desk for a little bit?”
“Sure. What do you need?”
“Marcus just called. He wants to speak to both of us.”
“Oh God. Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.”
Russ looked strained as he walked through Stephen’s office door. “How did he sound?”
“Marcus?” Stephen shrugged. “Like usual, I guess. I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Why?”
“Just wondering if he has news for us about the adoption.”
“Only one way to find out.”
“Yeah.” Russ shut the door behind him.
“Hey, you look like you’re freaking out. Come here,” Stephen said softly.
Russ walked slowly around the desk and Stephen pulled him in for a hug. “Whatever he says, we’ll deal with it. Okay?”
“Okay,” Russ said. He let out a sigh. “Yeah, okay. We’ll be fine.”
He sounded like he was trying to psych himself up for it, so Stephen held him close as he called Marcus back and switched to speakerphone.
“Well, what’s the verdict?” Russ asked grimly when Marcus answered. “I assume you’re calling about Mr. Carr, anyway.”
“I am. And I’m afraid it’s not something you’re going to be thrilled about. He has another condition before he’ll agree to sign off,” Marcus said.
“For God’s sake!” Russ said. “What the hell now?”
Stephen shot him a look, reminding him not to lose his temper, and he held his free hand up in surrender. “Sorry, Marcus. I’ll let Stephen do the talking.”
“You’re all right,” Marcus said with a chuckle. “The short version is, he wants to meet the two of you.”
“Jesus Christ,” Russ muttered. Privately, Stephen agreed.
“Is this some kind of power play? Stringing us along so he has some control of the situation?”
Marcus was silent a moment, as if he was considering the idea. “Could be. Like I said, I don’t know the man. It could be a deliberate power play, could be a subconscious thing. But you’re forgetting one thing, guys.”
“What’s that?”
“He loves Austin and wants to make sure he’ll be in good hands. It’s not unreasonable for him to want to be sure you’ll be good parents.”
“He doesn’t get—”
“Russ,” Stephen cut off the tirade he knew was coming.
He subsided but he looked up at the ceiling like he was praying for patience.
“I get what you’re saying, Marcus,” Stephen said. “And you make a good point. It’s just hard to hear.”
“Look, from all I know about him, Leland Carr isn’t a monster. He didn’t beat Austin or his mother, he was a man who ran out of options for supporting his family and made a shitty choice. It doesn’t excuse the impact it had on them, but I don’t think it helps Austin to assume the worst about the man.”
“Ugh, you’re right,” Russ muttered.
“If you’re willing to meet with him, go into it with the idea that he’s a man who loves his son and is trying to look out for him. Because if you go in with a combative attitude, you run the risk of making a tough situation worse.”
“We’ll keep that in mind,” Stephen said.
“Leland Carr made a mistake. And maybe it’s unforgiveable. Maybe it’s something that means he isn’t fit to be Austin’s father. But he’s paying the price for it now. Treat the man with some dignity and respect if you can. It’s your best bet for getting him to sign off on this.”
“What are we going to do if Mr. Carr won’t sign off on the adoption?” Russ asked as they got out of bed the morning they were scheduled to go to the prison.
“If he won’t sign off, we’ll either take him to court if that’s what Austin wants, or we’ll drop it. Either way, we’ll raise Austin to the best of our ability.”
“But he’ll have no stability until this is settled. He’ll always be wondering if his father is going to get out and he’ll have no sense of permanence.”
“There’s only so much we can do, Russ. A lot of this is out of our hands.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Neither do I, but I’m afraid our options are limited.”
“I fucking hate this for him.”
“I know. I do too.”
“Also, what the fuck does a person wear to go visit their foster son’s biological father in jail?”
Stephen chuckled. “I can’t say I have any experience with that. I think you should just go with something comfortable.”
“A part of me wants to show up in a fancy suit and intimidate the hell out of him, but that’s probably the wrong approach,” he groused.
“Probably.”
With a heavy sigh, Russ pawed through his side of the closet again.
Knowing Russ would never settle on anything, Stephen scanned the options and plucked two things out. “Wear this.” Stephen thrust the white button-down shirt and a pair of olive-green trousers at him. “You look great in these, but they aren’t overly formal. Successful but not intimidating. And roll up your sleeves. Wear your glasses too.”
“Yes, sir,” Russ teased.
Stephen swatted him on the ass. “Don’t be sarcastic.”
“Only if you promise to keep spanking me.”
“I’m not sure what it says about you that you only behave when I threaten to do terrible things to you,” Stephen teased, glad Russ seemed to be relaxing a little. That had been his goal.
“I don’t know what it says about you that you think having your hands on your husband’s ass is a terrible thing.”
Stephen chuckled as he zipped up a pair of jeans. “Touché.”
A few minutes later, Stephen scrutinized his own reflection in the full-len
gth mirror. He wore a pale blue Oxford shirt and darker blue jeans and he was beginning to doubt his choice for himself. “What do you think? Does this tell the man we’ll take good care of his child?”
“That I don’t know.” Russ looked him up and down. “I do know you look handsome as hell though. I’m not sure sending you into a place with a bunch of sex-starved men when you look like this is fair,” Russ said in a doubtful tone. “It seems cruel and unusual to torture them that way. There’s gotta be something in the Geneva Convention about that.”
“Well, a good portion of them probably aren’t even remotely attracted to men,” Stephen said with a laugh.
“For you, they might make an exception.”
“That’s truly one of the oddest compliments I’ve ever gotten,” he said as he backed Russ up against the wall.
“Just trying to lighten the mood.” He smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Stephen understood. There was a weight hanging over them. How today went might determine the rest of Austin’s—and their—future.
“I know.” Stephen trapped Russ in the circle of his arms and nuzzled in for a kiss. “And I love you for it.”
Russ kissed him back, his body softening against Stephen’s.
“And for what it’s worth, I don’t think I’m going to be the only one getting checked out there,” Stephen pointed out as he drew back.
“No?”
“No.” He patted Russ’s firm ass and gave it a squeeze. “You are pretty handsome yourself. Now, let’s go have breakfast and make sure Austin is up before Addie gets here.”
But as they reached the first floor, they could hear the TV on, and Austin was sprawled on the floor in front of it.
“Hey, you’re up early,” Russ said as they approached him.
“Couldn’t sleep.” He looked up at them from the floor, his big brown eyes sad.
Stephen felt a pang in his chest. “I’m sorry to hear that. Is it because of what we’re doing today?”
“I guess.”
“Austin,” Stephen took a seat on the ottoman so he wasn’t looming over him. “I want you to know something, okay?”
“What?” Austin sat up to look at him, and Russ took a seat next to Stephen.
Full Balance (The Peachtree Series Book 3) Page 29
