Pieces of Us: A Confessions of the Heart Stand-Alone Novel

by Jackson, A. L.

  He dipped down and grazed his teeth on the lobe of my ear.

  Chills streaked, and I whimpered, hips jerking from the bed.

  I wanted to feel every inch of him.

  Rediscover and reclaim what I’d been missin’ for so long.

  “Can’t wait to get inside of you. Take you the way I’ve been dying to. Going to prove to you that I can be the kind of man you deserve. I promise, Little Bird. I promise you.”

  I could feel the tremor of fear come rolling out with it.

  The little boy who’d been marred by brutality.

  Fed the lie that he would never be good enough.

  Heart clutching in a fist, I rocked my head back on the pillow to make sure he understood what I was saying, my gaze seeking his.

  “You’ve always been the kind of man who deserved me. Right and good. Just like I always hoped I’d be good enough to deserve you. Maybe you just needed a little time to come to terms with that. With who you really are. The man I saw.”

  Blue eyes flashed with regret and devotion.

  I ran my thumb along the hollow beneath one of them.

  “I’m so proud of who you became. I knew it. I knew it all along.”

  And that seemed to be all that Maxon could take before he broke.

  Restraint gone.

  Chains busted.

  He dove for me, his kiss as desperate as his hands that searched my body, palms pressing firm as they roamed my flesh, cupping my breasts before they were riding down and his mouth was taking their place.

  Sucking and licking and driving me wild.

  Little teases of pleasure of what was to come.

  My fingers twisted in his hair, cinching down tight, and I tried to silence the whimpers that were escaping my mouth as he kissed a path down my belly.

  Tried to contain the blaze that burned across my skin when he tucked his fingers into the waistband of my sleep shorts.

  Tried to quiet the shout of my heart when he angled back and peeled them down my legs.

  His gaze fire.

  Complete annihilation.

  Completely bare to him, my stomach trembled and shook, my knees quaking as he eyed me like he was watching the sun rise and set at the same time.

  A collision of colors.

  Complete and utter awe.

  And I could take it no longer, either, and I shot up, ripping at his shirt to get it over his head, and oh my God, I was sure I died a little when I got the full impact of his fierce beauty when I tugged the fabric free.

  Those shoulders wide, muscled arms nothing but intimidation and strength. The colors and designs vibrated across his skin, that dragon perched on his shoulder and wrapping down like a reminder of who he was.

  I caressed it, felt my spirit leap into the sky where I met with him.

  The second I looked back to the intensity in his eyes, we were an instant, frenzied tangle.

  Maxon kissed me mad while I touched him everywhere that I could, hands on his massive pecs and riding down the carved planes of his abdomen.

  “You steal my breath, Maxon. Steal it right out of my lungs.”

  I yanked at his fly, and he jerked back. “Goddamn it, Izzy. You’re gonna kill me.”

  He ripped his zipper down and shoved his jeans and briefs over his hips, winding out of them as his eager pants rose into the air.

  Mine escalated to match, desire racin’ through my veins as he freed himself.

  A tremble rolled, and I was swallowing around the nerves that flickered through my senses.

  Sensation heightened.

  My mouth going dry.

  His thick, hard penis bounced at his belly, straining for me as he kicked his jeans from his ankles and climbed right back between my thighs.

  I was gasping, feeling lightheaded, unable to see.

  Blinded by this lust.

  Blinded by this love.

  I swatted around for the drawer on my nightstand, silently thanking my mama for constantly meddlin’, even though I’d wanted to crawl under a table when she’d shoved the big box of condoms at me the other day and whispered, “Just in case.”

  He tore into the box and had his massive length covered in a flash.

  Just as fast, he crawled back over me, and my thighs were gripping at his hips, anticipation wracking through the middle of me.

  Oh lord. Was this really happenin’?

  Our breaths mingled and our hearts careened, tempos lost to the urgency that struck in the air, and Maxon was running his nose along my jaw, inhaling as he went, as if he were looking for some sort of control that had long since slipped.

  But I was so tired of fighting this truth.

  The truth of who we were.

  No longer could I lie to myself.

  And I was issuing his name like praise.

  A promise.

  A plea.

  “Maxon.”

  Because it’d been too long, and every second that he wasn’t mine seemed like a complete waste of time.

  And I was pretty sure that Maxon agreed because he took me in one quick stroke.

  One that sent the oxygen gushing from my lungs and exploding in the air.

  One that filled me so full that the only thing I could feel was him.

  Every molecule taken.

  Captured.

  A low groan rumbled in the depths of Maxon’s chest, something dark and deep and desperate. His forehead dropped to mine. “Izzy Baby. Fuck . . . you feel so good. Never thought I would get to feel you like this again.” He nuzzled the side of my face. “Motherfuckin’ heaven.”

  Those eyes met mine, so intense, and I swore that I could feel him sinking all the way inside.

  “Little Bird.” It was his own prayer. An appeal.

  He gathered me up, and I dug my fingers into his back.

  Holding him to me.

  Fiercely.

  Knowing there was no chance after this that I could ever let him go.

  He began to take me.

  Wholly.

  Without measure.

  Letting himself go.

  Hips rocking in rough strokes that sent my mind spinnin’.

  They grew with each thrust of his body. A drive of desperation as we raced for the top.

  This war of give and take.

  And I could feel it, riding high, coming together

  Coalescing. Gathering to a breaking point.

  “You’re so gorgeous. So fucking beautiful. Do you have any idea?”

  “Maxon, please.”

  “Shh . . . Little Bird . . . I’ve got you. I won’t let you down. Not ever.”

  Vibration shook through my body.

  He reached between us, stroked me where I was achin’.

  “Oh, God.” I almost sobbed it.

  In an instant, he sent me soaring.

  Ecstasy shattering me into a billion unrecognizable pieces where I became partner to his dark sky.

  A scatter of stars strewn through the heavens.

  And I was whimpering, fingers clutching his hair as he took me higher, the intensity almost too much, my body stretched taut as he drove into me again and again.

  Kept me there.

  Refused to let me fall until he met me.

  Until we were flying.

  High, high above the trees.

  Where we’d always belonged.

  Where he was my forever.

  Endless.

  Twenty-Six

  Izzy

  I bolted upright in bed, and then I was scrambling to clutch the covers to my chest when I realized I was naked.

  Naked.

  That was all it took for an onslaught of memories to assault me. Picture after picture. Heat flashed across my flesh as if he were still touching me, and with a trembling hand, I reached out and brushed my fingers over the vacant spot on the bed where I last remembered him being.

  Sheets cold, and somehow, every part of me was still on fire.

  Sunlight spilled in through the window that was cracked open, and I
wondered when he’d gone. When he’d slipped out into the rising morning the way he used to do.

  He’d held me last night, that gorgeous man curled around me from behind.

  Quietly.

  Soundly.

  Nothin’ but our spirits whispering the weight of our thoughts.

  Of course, that had been after he’d taken me time and again.

  Every time I’d drift, he’d be reaching out. Every time I opened my mouth, he’d kiss the questions away.

  For that sacred moment in time, it’d just been us. Our bodies. Our hands and our hearts.

  Loving.

  Adoring.

  Putting everything else aside.

  There was nothing like the morning sun to shine a spotlight on all the questions that still pervaded my mind.

  It wasn’t like I regretted it. At all.

  That didn’t mean there weren’t traces of worry flickering around in my mind. Warning me that we had no plans. That I had no idea where we were going to go from here. And that tiny, tiny seed of dread that Maxon wasn’t ready.

  That he still harbored so much pain, and it was liable to come busting out at some point.

  There was an even tinier sprout of alarm that he might have woken up to second thoughts and used that window as an escape.

  My gaze moved to the window, drapes fluttering on the breeze, and my mind filled with all the times that he’d come in and out of it.

  Coming to me.

  For me.

  My fingertips stroked over my bitten, swollen lips that were splitting into a grin.

  I refused to worry about all of that right then.

  Slipping out of bed, I pulled on my tank and sleep shorts from the floor, trying not to blush like mad remembering him peeling them off.

  Barefoot, I rushed out to find my boys.

  Their bedroom door was already wide open, and I could hear laughter wafting up from the kitchen.

  I padded downstairs, holding onto the railing, mouth tipping up in affection as I listened to their joy filling the air.

  It filled me full, too.

  This.

  This was what was important. The happiness of my boys. The very thing I’d dedicated my entire life to echoing from the kitchen.

  No matter how I was feeling right then, no matter the questions that stirred and the old fears that tried to push to the forefront, I could rest easy in that.

  I pushed open the swinging door, doing my best to stride right in like I hadn’t spent the night rolling around in the hay with the very man I’d promised would never have the chance to break me again.

  Then I was stumbling, inhaling a shocked gasp when I saw he was there, at the table with Dillon on his lap.

  My youngest son was howling with laughter as Maxon tickled him.

  Benjamin clapped where he sat beside them, cheering, “Get him, Mmmack!”

  I didn’t know when they realized I was there, but suddenly Maxon slowed, shifting to look at me from over his shoulder.

  The energy shifted.

  Intense and alive.

  The rest of the eyes in the kitchen turned to land on me.

  Nothing but a target.

  I stood there fidgeting, sure it was written all over me that I’d dipped my fingers into the cookie jar one too many times last night.

  Dillon popped his head up my direction, hanging onto Maxon’s shoulders. “Mom, you’re awake! About time. It’s almost time to eat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, don’t you know that? Grams is making pancakes and eggs because we need our protein, too. And Mr. Mack is gonna eat with us!”

  Right. Right.

  Mr. Mack was gonna eat with us.

  I struggled to readjust my image of how I’d imagined this morning would play out, wondering just how it was that Maxon had ended up sitting there at the table.

  Redness crept to my cheeks as my gaze swept the faces staring back at me.

  My daddy pretended as if he were reading the paper, but there was no missing the concern in his eyes when he sent me a questioning glance over the top of it, and Benjamin was shooting me one of his crooked, happy grins.

  And Maxon—he was looking at me as if he were contemplating throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me back upstairs.

  A shiver rolled down my spine.

  Oh, this was not good. So not good. Because my mama was at the stove, slanting me a sly smile as she took me in. “Yes, look who showed up at our door, bright and early. What a nice surprise.”

  Her eyes went wide with the implication.

  “Oh . . . I . . . hi.” I sent him an awkward wave. “Good mornin’.”

  Maxon smirked, that dimple peeking out.

  My belly twisted.

  Oh God, this really was bad.

  “I . . . um . . . coffee.” I flailed a hand in the general direction of the coffee maker, and I dropped my head, making a beeline for the other side of the kitchen. Hands shaking, I fumbled to get a cup from the cupboard, and I was surprised I even got a drop into the cup with the way the carafe trembled when I poured it.

  “Need help with that? You seem a little . . . flustered,” my mama teased, voice lowered to remain out of earshot, grinning a conspiring grin.

  I groaned a panicked sound, peeking over at the table, wetting my lips as I sucked for a cleansing breath. “Help. Yes, yes, I need help.”

  Because I didn’t have the first clue what I was supposed to do right then.

  “Something bothering you?”

  I pressed my face into my hands, and then I was peeling them away, leaving them up at the sides like a shield. My voice dropped to a mortified hiss. “I slept with him, Mama.”

  No need to give her the detail that it’d been five times.

  “Well, that’s plenty obvious. Have you seen your hair this mornin’?”

  My hands flew up to the ratted mess.

  Oh God.

  She chuckled.

  “This isn’t funny, Mama.”

  I smoothed out my tank, as if it could smooth away the agitation and embarrassment.

  “Did he just waltz in here from upstairs?” I questioned in horror, peeking over there again and wondering how I was supposed to explain an impromptu sleepover with my boys. For a beat, my attention got wrapped up in the easy way Maxon leaned over and drew something with Benjamin, talking with him as if being there was the most natural thing in the world.

  “Well, I know he came crawling out your window and sneaking down that tree like he used to do. I was out back when I heard a racket, and I peeked around the corner to see what was goin’ on. But don’t worry your pretty face. He came around the front of the house and up the steps, knocking at the front door, just like a perfect gentleman would do.” It was purely a tease.

  I pressed a trembling hand to my forehead.

  I was gonna pass out.

  “Stop frettin’.”

  I went back to my coffee and dumped in a couple spoonfuls of sugar. “How am I not supposed to fret when he is here after what happened last night?” I rushed out of the side of my mouth.

  “Seems to me you should be glad that he is.”

  I was.

  God, I was.

  But that didn’t mean my nerves weren’t racing, sure my boys knew something was up. My daddy sure knew it, with the way his glare was cutting between the two of us, though it was different somehow.

  Softer and less angry, though he appeared a thousand times more worried than before.

  This really was a mess.

  “Go on, I’ll feed you,” Mama said, transferring the huge skillet of scrambled eggs into a serving bowl. “You’ve got to be to work in an hour.”

  Oh, that was right.

  Work.

  It was the last thing on my mind.

  I shuffled over to the table, my bare feet scooting on the worn floor, trying to play it cool and casual and like Maxon wasn’t affecting me at all.

  I started to round to the free chair, and I yelped out when he snagged an arm
around my waist and hauled me to his side.

  Right out of the blue.

  He squeezed my hip in one of those massive hands.

  “Good morning, gorgeous,” he said in that grumbly, beautiful voice.

  Dillon laughed and a blush the same color of mine was lighting on Benjamin’s face.

  “I . . .” I attempted to clear the disorder from my throat. “Um . . .”

  He grinned. “Sit.”

  Blowing out a breath, I did, and he set a hand on my knee under the table.

  With my head dropped, I peeked over at him, catching the adoring expression on his face.

  And there was nothin’ I could do to stop the sappy grin.

  An hour later, I was rushing out to my car. This whole surprise of a morning had made me late.

  Of course, I knew it was only gonna get worse when I felt the presence swallow me from behind, his footsteps heavy as he came out the door and jogged out toward my car.

  He was on me in an instant, spinning me around, pinning my back to metal.

  Kissin’ me with a passion I’d never known before.

  God, this man was gonna do me in.

  “I thought you already kissed me goodbye?” I teased, teeth raking my bottom lip as I peeked up at his gorgeous face.

  A smirk took hold of his mouth. “So, I wanted another one.”

  “Hmm . . . can’t get enough?”

  He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, fiddling with it as he angled his head, his expression soft. “Never.”

  Then that expression shifted, something somber and bold coming to caress the lines of his face. He traced over the angle of my cheek. “We need to tell him, Izzy. It’s time. I can’t keep sitting beside him and keeping this secret. Feels like I’m lying to him.”

  My gaze drifted off in the distance, processing, the fears there but quieted. Because I knew I could no longer be that person. Someone who was bitter and scared and letting the past hold her back.

  I couldn’t go on living like it was yesterday.

  I looked back at him and slowly nodded. “Okay.”

  The smile splitting his face nearly knocked me to my knees, so bright and brilliant.

  So free.

  “I’d like to do it, if that’s okay?” he asked.

  I nodded again. “Okay. Just . . . you have to allow him to have his own reaction. Process it all. He’s gonna be shocked.”