Penance

by Kristin Harte

  “How are you two doing?” he asked as he pulled out an extra chair at our table and took a seat. “Everything good over at the motel?”

  I blinked, glancing at Finn. His expression didn’t change, his eyes never leaving his brother’s as he said, “Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

  Apparently we were lying to the man. Got it. “We were thinking about going hiking today.”

  “Hiking?” Alder looked to Finn. “You think that’s a good idea—to go off into the woods?”

  Finn shrugged one shoulder. “We won’t go too far or for too long, and Deacon knows where we’re going. She’s never been in the mountains, so I told her I’d show her what she’s been missing.”

  “Well, don’t go too far off-grid. And call if you need anything.” He looked away, a smile crossing his face as Shye hurried toward us. “Well, good morning, honey. I missed you.”

  She practically rolled her eyes. “You’ve said that to me about six times already today.”

  “So? Am I not allowed to miss my future wife when she’s away from me?” He tugged her closer, kissing her cheeks as they reddened. As she blushed and giggled from his attention. Sweet. So sweet.

  “Stop it,” Shye finally said, smacking Alder on the arm in a weak sort of way. “I’m here to work. Jinx, what can I get you?”

  I glanced at Finn and winked. “I’ll have what he’s having.”

  “A matched set,” she said. “I’ll get the order in and bring you your tea.”

  “Is Gage in the back?” Alder asked, still holding on to his fiancée. He grunted at her nod. “I’ll come with you. I need to talk to him about something. It was good to see you out and about, Jinx. Try not to get into any trouble.”

  “I make no promises.” I waited for him to disappear into the kitchen before turning to Finn. “You’re a very different person around him.”

  “You think?”

  “I know.”

  He huffed, rearranging the silverware on the table until it was perfectly aligned. “He treats me like a child at times.”

  “Because you were an addict.”

  “Am,” he said, holding my gaze. “It never goes away. The want…the desire to block out the world with some sort of self-medication. I am an addict in recovery and will be for the rest of my life.”

  Shye dropped off a cup of coffee for him and a kettle of hot water along with six different tea bags, giving me time to formulate my response. To let his words percolate through my mind for a minute.

  “I would think your brother would respect you for lasting so long in such a hard battle.” I grabbed a tea bag—green tea with citrus—and poured hot water into my cup. “Addiction is a hard beast to beat back.”

  He took a sip of his coffee, meeting my eyes over his mug. “He sees the flaw first, not the win of the recovery.”

  “Well, that’s just stupid.”

  Finn laughed, setting his mug down and reaching for my hand. “I’m really glad you’re here, Jinx.”

  I felt my cheeks warm again, felt my body responding to his proximity. To his sweet words. “I am too. And, Finn?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Let’s make this hike a short one.”

  “Why’s that?”

  I ran my foot up his inner thigh, grinning when I reached his lap and his hand dropped to grab my ankle and stop my progression.

  “Jinx.” Ooh, those eyes were stormy gray.

  “You don’t have many neighbors, do you?”

  He swallowed visibly, his Adam’s apple bouncing as I wiggled my toes against where he was obviously hard for me. “No. No one else lives on my stretch of road.”

  “Good.”

  “Why is that good?”

  “Because it’s a beautiful day outside, and I think we should open up your windows.”

  He frowned, still rubbing my ankle. Still breathing a little harder than normal and not pushing my foot away from him. “Why would it matter if I have neighbors when I air out the house?”

  I tugged my foot away, leaning over the table to run my finger up his arm as I dropped my voice a little lower, a little softer. A little sultrier…I hoped. “Because I intend to make you groan my name again today, and I’d prefer if no one else got to hear how sexy you sound when you do it.”

  He stared at me for a long minute, not even breaking the connection when Shye showed up with our food.

  “Here you go,” she said, setting two plates down on the table. “Is there anything—”

  “The check,” Finn said, making my lips quirk. “Just the check.”

  Shye looked from me to him and back, likely frowning when neither of us even glanced her way. Not that I cared.

  “Yeah,” I said, cocking my head and giving Finn all of my attention. “We’re sort of in a hurry.”

  He grinned. “A big hurry. Lots to do today.”

  “It’ll take hours.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Okay,” Shye said, drawing out the word. “I feel as if I’m missing something here, but no matter. We have your card on file, Finn. Just head on out when you’re done.”

  “Bonus,” I said as I picked up my fork. “Eat up, Fish. You’re going to need your strength.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  FINN

  Three days, countless orgasms, and more naked Jinx than I’d ever thought possible. That’s how long I let the girl play her little distraction sham before I figured out how to beat her at her own game. Because, yes, I knew what she was doing. I wasn’t an idiot. I might not have been wise to the ways of people in a relationship when she’d come to me, but I knew manipulation when I saw it. Jinx used sex as a weapon—no, as a shield. I asked a question she didn’t want to answer, and she found a way to twist the moment into something enticing. Something sensuous.

  Yeah, I saw it. And I let it play out for a bit while I found a way around her.

  “You ever read Where the Red Fern Grows?”

  Jinx looked up from the book she’d been reading—a Stephen King classic I’d read a hundred times while in prison—and frowned. “Is that the one with Pony Boy?”

  “That’s The Outsiders.”

  “Huh. I read that one in school, but I don’t recognize the name of the other.”

  When opportunity knocks, you open the door. “Really? We read both. Where’d you go to school?”

  Her eyes tightened. “Vegas.”

  That actually fit what I knew of her, except for one thing. “Your mom was from Wisconsin, but you grew up in Vegas? You come from a long line of Cheesehead gamblers?”

  “Cheeseheads and Packer fans, yes. Gamblers, no.” She went back to her book, tangling her legs with mine. “Drunks, addicts, and losers, but no gamblers.”

  More pieces to her puzzle. I hoarded the crumbs she dropped like a squirrel prepping for winter. I’d learned a few things over the past couple of days. She was from Vegas, had never met her dad, and had gone to community college there. She was handy—could fix things a lot of people couldn’t—which was apparently something she’d picked up from one of her mom’s friends. The way she’d spat the word friend had made me think there was more to that story, but I hadn’t pushed her. I didn’t want her shutting the door again. Or using sex to distract me. Don’t get me wrong, the sex was amazing. And plentiful. But I wanted something deeper, wanted more from her.

  I was a starving man standing before a buffet, and no fucking way was I settling for just an appetizer.

  Which reminded me—I needed to go to the store. Well, not really. I had food in the pantry, but I drove to Rock Falls on the same day every week to hit the big grocery store. This week should have been no different, but it was. Because of Jinx.

  “You’re edgy.”

  I sighed. “Sorry.”

  “What’s wrong? Did I leave a light on again?”

  I flinched, wishing I’d have handled that moment better. “I apologized for that.”

  “You did. You apologize for too much.” She rolled to a sitting position and se
t her book on the table. We’d been on the couch for two days—reading. Chatting, watching movies. If there hadn’t been the specter of a motorcycle club hunting us down outside the walls, it would have been perfect. Well, as perfect as she’d let it be considering she kept that veil between us.

  Still, as she crawled over my body and lay on top of me, I couldn’t complain. I had my girl in my arms. That was something I’d never thought would happen.

  “Are you wanting to work on your carving?”

  Because she’d become obsessed with watching me take my knives and chisels to the piece of wood I’d been working on. The one I’d started the first day we’d been in my house together. The one definitely inspired by her. “No. Maybe later tonight, though.”

  “Do you need to call Elijah or Lainie?”

  “I already did this morning.”

  “But it seems to help you calm down when you get upset.”

  She’d really paid attention to my habits. “No, I don’t need to talk to them.”

  “Then what do you need?” She grinned up at me. “Want me to go down on you again?”

  So hard. Instantly hard. This girl—she’d dropped to her knees just the night before while I’d been washing dishes and had sucked me hard and deep. I’d come in mere seconds, too surprised by her actions not to. Too turned on to even hope for more control. Yeah, I wanted those plump, soft lips wrapped around my dick. I also wanted them telling me all her secrets.

  But the fact that it was grocery day and I was supposed to go to Rock Falls wouldn’t stop distracting me.

  “As much as I’d love that, I’d rather slide inside that soft pussy of yours and let you ride me again.”

  “That could be arranged.” She frowned and tilted her head. “But there’s still something bothering you.”

  Fuck. “It’s grocery day.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I grocery shop in Rock Falls every Monday. It’s…”

  “A ritual.” She looked down, eyes unfocused as if lost in thought. “Why not here in Justice?”

  “We don’t have a grocery store.”

  “Damn small towns.”

  “You get used to it.”

  She gave me a kiss and rose to her feet. “So, let’s go shopping.”

  “I don’t know if we should.”

  “It’s one trip to another town. We’ll go and get back real quick.”

  My hands practically shook with my need to acquiesce. I needed to buy my groceries, needed to stay somewhat on track with my weekly tasks. I couldn’t go to work, so my schedule had been shot to hell already, but I could at least keep my home life in order. Maybe. “I should text Deacon.”

  “You do that. Let me get dressed, and then we’ll leave.” She leaned down to kiss me. “It’ll be fine.”

  Famous last words. “You’re awfully brave.”

  “No, I’m empathetic. This will drive you to distraction if we don’t do it. Why torture yourself when we can just head to Rock Falls, do the shopping, and hurry back instead? It’s broad daylight outside, and we’ll be together. Strength in numbers.”

  Or larger targets, but whatever. I needed to get this task done, and she was more influential than I’d given her credit for. “Let’s go.”

  But it took far longer than it should have to get out the door mainly because Jinx decided to torture me. Nearly naked, she bent and wiggled her way through brushing her hair and putting on the little bit of makeup I’d hidden away for her. And how she dressed herself? Pure torture. No one needed to bend themselves in half to put on jeans, but she did. With her ass practically in my face as I sat on the bed. I couldn’t help myself. I grabbed her and pulled her into my lap, grinding up into that cotton-covered pussy as I sucked on her neck.

  “You’re so naughty.”

  “In the best way.”

  “Yes. The best.”

  Twenty minutes and two orgasms—one for her, one for me—later, we finally stumbled out of the house and into my truck. Jinx’s cheeks were flushed from our activities, and the smile on her face only grew as I turned onto the highway.

  “I love this song,” she said, reaching to increase the volume. “Did you go to many concerts before?”

  Before I went to prison. “No. We’re too far from anywhere to really get much more than half washed-up country acts. I went to one when I got out as a test, but I didn’t last long.”

  “Too much drinking?”

  “Too loud. I prefer the quiet.”

  “I’m not surprised.”

  “What about you?”

  She sat back, her voice going all wistful. “My mom was a huge Eagles fan, and she used to drag me to see them every time they came through Vegas.”

  “Did you enjoy it?”

  “I did. I missed going when she decided to take whatever man was shacking up in our house instead.”

  More breadcrumbs to hoard. I reached across the console to grab her hand. “That had to suck, being left behind when it was something you enjoyed.”

  “Yeah, it did. But when I got to go, it was fun. Just the two of us, you know? A rarity at times.”

  “You love her.”

  Jinx nodded, turning away to stare out the window. Putting that wall back up. “I did, yeah.”

  Past tense. Another piece.

  “Did Deacon ever text you back?” Jinx asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “I don’t know. Why don’t you—” I practically froze, staring unseeing at the highway before me. “Fuck.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  Cold like I’d never felt ran through my veins, making my heart race and my muscles go stiff. “I left my phone on the counter.”

  An impossibility. My wallet stayed in my glove box because I’d forgotten it so many times, but my phone? Never. I always had it with me, always remembered to put it in my pocket before I left the house. This wasn’t like the razor thing where it was such an innocuous item that forgetting was a possibility. This was like forgetting my name—just as rare and upsetting.

  Jinx stared at me for a long, quiet moment. “Finn.”

  I couldn’t even focus on her. “I left my phone. I always have my phone. It’s not like the razor or the light. I always have my phone. How did that happen? I must have forgotten—”

  “We just got off track,” Jinx said, reaching across the seat to place her hand on my arm. “I’m sure everything’s okay.”

  I didn’t feel okay. “What if I didn’t turn off the stove?”

  “You did. I saw you—the stove was off and the dishes were washed before we left the kitchen to read.”

  “Did I lock the door?”

  “Yes. I watched you.”

  But I doubted. The possibilities of having forgotten something vital—of leaving something out that shouldn’t have been—plagued me. Jinx must have felt my unease because she held on to my hand and brought it to her mouth to kiss the back of it.

  “Everything is fine at your house. I would have stopped you if you’d done something like leave the door unlocked or the stove on. Let’s get the groceries, and we can be back in no time.”

  An hour minimum, but the only other option was turning around, and that would only irritate me more. “Sounds like a plan. Just…we need to be quick.”

  “Absolutely understood. Speedy grocery shopping. Totally doable.”

  We drove the rest of the way in silence, tension in a slow rolling boil between us. If anything happened today, it would be entirely my fault—I couldn’t let go of how stupid I was to leave my phone behind. What if we broke down on the road? What if we needed Deacon or Parris? What if Alder’s house was set on fire and he needed our help? With the way things had been going in Justice lately, all those seemed quite possible. But there was nothing I could do except cling to Jinx’s hand and hope this trip would go by quickly.

  We made it to the store without issue, a fact that appeased me enough to breathe normally again. I scanned the parking lot just in case, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary�
��no motorcycles, just the usual collection of junker sedans and pickup trucks. Totally regular day.

  T-minus twenty minutes until we should be able to leave. “Ready?”

  Jinx smiled my way. “Yup. You know what you want? Or do you buy the same things every week.”

  I frowned, which only made her smile.

  “You do,” she said, nodding. “You buy the exact same items every week. I bet you already know how much your bill will be.”

  “No.” Because they had sales and sometimes even coupons. “I like order.”

  “Will it bother you if I buy things outside your normal?”

  “Of course not.” I hurried around the front of the truck to help her down on the other side. “Is my house lacking Jinx-approved snacks?”

  “Not snacks, no. Though now that you mention it, I could go for some pretzels.”

  “Pretzels we can do.”

  “And tea.”

  I paused, my hand on the handle of the cart I’d grabbed. “Tea?”

  “Yeah. You’re a coffee drinker, but I like tea.”

  “I bought tea.”

  Her face darkened, and she looked away. “Yes, but it’s black. I really prefer green. Not to be difficult or anything.”

  Well, now I felt like an ignorant ass. I should have bought her different kinds of tea. Or asked her what she preferred. “We’ll get you as much tea as you need. You should meet my brother Bishop’s girl, Anabeth, by the way.”

  “She a tea drinker?” Jinx turned as she walked through the doors, her eyes catching mine.

  “Addict would be a better word, and I don’t use that term lightly.”

  “I think I’d like her. Why haven’t I met her yet?”

  I stumbled, remembering Bishop’s fury the last time I’d seen him. The sting of his fist connecting with my jaw. “We don’t have the best relationship. Plus, they live in Vegas most of the time. She’s a performer.”

  “Exotic?”

  There was no holding back the laugh that busted out of me. “No, not at all. Paranormal shows. She reads tarot and stuff.”

  “Huh.” Jinx grabbed a bunch of bananas and set them in the seat of the cart. “Why the bad relationship?”