Dark Carousel

by Christine Feehan

  She'd always been strong and confident, her own person. Independent. Too much so according to her brother. Yet one touch, one look, just Tariq's voice alone could make her want to please him. Want to give him everything--anything he wanted. That so wasn't her. She couldn't just believe every incredible word coming out of his mouth. She knew, from touching the carousel horse, that he was ancient. She saw him, felt him, even thought he'd seen her looking at him. Now she knew he had.

  "I did."

  Her heart jumped, stuttered and then began to pound. He'd heard her thoughts. He was inside her mind. He could read her escape plan almost before she came up with one. Worse, he'd confirmed what she'd suspected.

  "That moment was the one that allowed me hang on so long. To stay with humans. To come up with the idea of the clubs. I knew you were somewhere in the world, although I had convinced myself I made you up. I didn't actually 'see' you so much as I felt your presence. So strong. I smelled the fragrance that is so uniquely you. I smelled it in the club and knew you were close."

  He inhaled, taking in her scent, drawing it deep into his lungs, his eyes watchful. She knew if she moved he'd be on her. She just didn't know what he'd do.

  "I want to take Lourdes and leave." She tried to keep her voice even. It was too late to hide the fact that he'd totally freaked her out. She needed to get away from him. From the whispers of the wooden horse, now calling to her. She stuck the pad of her finger into her mouth again, sucking on the stinging splinter. It wasn't there. She thought it had penetrated the skin and broken off, but it had just ripped a small laceration, which now just stung. She was grateful she didn't have to fish out a piece of old wood from her finger--a small thing, but it gave her something else to think about.

  "You hurt yourself?" Instantly he was alert.

  "It's nothing." God. God. The concern in his voice. That shook her. His eyes had gone soft. Beautiful. He was the most gorgeous man she'd ever laid eyes on. All hers. Offering her everything. Was she really going to throw that away? She took another step back, away from temptation. "I didn't even get a splinter."

  "Let me see." He held out his hand to her.

  Panic set in instantly. He couldn't touch her. He just couldn't. She would go to pieces. Melt. Give him everything he wanted. Anything. She had to be careful because every step she took she could be entering deeper into a trap.

  She put her hand behind her and shook her head. "No." That was decisive. "You stay there and let me think this through. I know you're capable of controlling minds. I know vampires in movies can do that, especially if they've taken blood from the victim."

  "You aren't a victim. You are my lifemate, my woman, meant to be cherished and protected. Never a victim, Charlotte."

  His voice. Mesmerizing. Velvet. Stroking caresses. If that wasn't mind control what was? She shook her head, trying to make a decision when she felt more like the proverbial cornered prey.

  "Do I have freedom of choice?"

  "Choice in what? You have all kinds of freedom. You are gifted and becoming even more so. Can you not tell the difference in your senses? Your hearing? Your eyesight? Your ability to move? Every sense you have is already heightened. You have the freedom to speak your mind, to make decisions, all the things every human values so much."

  "You're leaving out my decision to remain here--with you. What about that?"

  He tipped his head to one side, still studying her. "The human world is very concerned with rights and privileges. Entitlement. Carpathians are about duty and honor. Responsibility. Our lives are very simple in that regard. My duty is to my prince and my lifemate first and then to my people. Your duty is the same. In that there is no decision to be made. It. Is. A. Fact. Can you deny the truth of that?"

  She couldn't. She wasn't Carpathian and she hadn't been raised in his world, but there was no denying that something powerful was between them. The connection grew stronger the more she was in his presence.

  "There is no out for either of us. No divorce or separation. We are one, together yet separate. We cannot be apart. Not comfortably and not for long. You are two-thirds into my world. Already you are changing."

  She shook her head. "That's not right. You don't have my permission."

  "I don't need your permission. It is your duty."

  She tipped up her chin, anger sweeping through her. "You don't get to dictate my life. You can't just force me to accept you."

  He was there then. Right in front of her, his body crowding hers, his arm sweeping around her back to keep her from falling as he propelled her backward fast. So fast. Her back hit the wall and she was caged. Held there. "You gave yourself to me, Charlotte. There is no taking that back. I told you then what I would do couldn't be undone. The vows were made. In my world, we are man and wife. Our soul is once again back together, my dark to your light."

  She had. She'd done that. She even knew she was doing something crazy at the time. Something momentous. Still. She shook her head. "Not this. Exchanging blood. I didn't agree to that."

  "You agreed to be mine. To come into my world." He cupped her chin in the palm of his hand, forcing her head up. "There is no going back now. It is far too late for that. Even if I let you go, which would never happen, you would not survive and neither would I. We're tied together."

  His thumb slid along her cheek, a soft caress that caught at her heart. She was terrified, yet at the same time she felt safe the moment he touched her. Safe. Protected. Belonging. He was magic. She knew she would never see another man. There was only Tariq. It seemed as if she'd known him all her life.

  "I didn't know what I was agreeing to," she whispered, because there was no way to get her voice above a whisper. "I don't want to be in a world where I have to look at human beings as prey."

  "You are not a predator, sielamet. You are the light to my darkness. You will always be you, a sweet, courageous woman lighting the way for her man."

  "You're a predator," she accused.

  "Exactly. I will always be one. I was born to hunt and I will continue to do so. But I have always stayed in the world of humans, drawn to them, protecting them. That night, the night the Malinovs turned, they came back determined to wipe out the entire village where I worked to train the young men for battle. Fridrick and his brother were with them. Two others. It was a bloodbath, Charlotte. So many people killed unnecessarily because I refused to join them. They needed me dead. They wanted that. I became one of their bitterest enemies that night and I have hunted them through the centuries."

  She winced at the term centuries; she couldn't help it. Centuries was a long, long time.

  "Do not look so frightened. I will always be at your side. Always. You will be able to protect Lourdes and the others right along with me." His mouth moved over her cheek, little kisses whispering against her skin. So soft. So compelling. His tongue teased the seam of her mouth. His body was warm and hard, the hand under her chin spanning her throat so that her pulse beat into his palm.

  "I'm absolutely terrified," she confessed.

  "Sielamet, I know this is a leap of faith for you, but we can do this. You. Me. Very few people can have what we can. Together. I have so much love for you, Charlotte. So much. And it will only grow. Look into my mind and you'll see everything you need to believe. I'm asking you to take that leap and believe that I'll catch you. Let me have you in this lifetime and all the ones to come."

  He made his plea, his lips against hers, so that she felt each word sliding inside of her. Going deep. Her heart beat loudly. Hard. Followed the exact rhythm of his. She . . . wanted . . . him.

  "What happens if I agree?"

  "I take your blood for the third exchange. You take mine and you'll go through the conversion. I've asked Maksim what happens. Blaze went through it. He said it was tough to watch, terrible on her. He also said if you embrace it, know for certain you choose it, it isn't as bad. I'll be with you and taking as much of the pain and fear away as possible, but honestly, it will be tough."

  S
he counted five heartbeats. Took a breath. Drew him into her lungs. "You want me to do this? To feel pain?"

  His thumb slid over her cheek again, traced her high cheekbone and then moved lower to press into the small indentation in her chin. "Absolutely not, sielamet. The last thing any man wants for his woman is for her to feel pain. I would do it for you if I could. I will stay with you every moment and shoulder as much pain as your body allows me, and in the end when I can, I'll send you to sleep so you won't feel all of it, but unfortunately, to bring you into my world, I have to take you out of yours."

  She swallowed, visions of horror films rising. "Like a vampire." One hand slid up the wall and then she circled his wrist with her fingers--or tried to. Her fingers wouldn't go around his wrist so she just dug in and tried to pull his hand off of her throat.

  "Not like a vampire. Are you going to lie to me and tell me it wasn't erotic when I took your blood? You participated, Charlotte. You wanted what I had to offer because you recognize me. You know what I am to you."

  Looking into his eyes--eyes that were twin blue flames--she knew she was lost. She was his. But what he wanted . . . What he demanded was terrifying. Giving up what and who she was to become something else. She shook her head. "I'm not that brave or strong."

  His lips slowly curved into a smile. His mouth was beautiful. Tempting. When he smiled it was even more so. The smile crept up to warm the blue of his eyes, turning the flame hotter and brighter, dazzling her. "Charlotte, you were willing to face down a serial killer with a can of wasp spray you had in your purse. You stepped in front of your friend Genevieve, and you tried to protect me, a total stranger to you. Do not tell me you don't have courage. Only a woman of great courage would do the things you did."

  "Or a crazy one," she muttered, unable to pull her gaze from his sinful mouth.

  He brought his mouth down on hers with exquisite gentleness. A barely there brush. A whisper of a caress. Heat spiraled through her instantly, and she needed more. He gave her more, his tongue teasing along the seam of her mouth, and she opened for him, needing his kisses. Melting into his body. There was no denying he belonged to her. Not when he kissed her. Not when his arms drew her so tightly against him, nearly crushing her, yet at the same time offering his protection, his shelter. Making her feel precious and cherished. And wanted.

  You will still be you, Charlotte. You are incapable of becoming a vampire. No woman of the light could possibly do so.

  The words didn't matter as much as the emotion pouring into her. His emotion. Intense. Real. Hers. He was hers. It didn't matter that he wasn't altogether human or that he lived in a world of violence. She lived there, too. She'd lost her brother and her mentor. Genevieve had lost a boyfriend and her beloved grandmother.

  Charlotte linked her fingers behind his neck and held on, kissing him back. Giving him everything.

  Yes. Her breath hitched. It was a momentous decision. One she knew she couldn't take back and it was terrifying, but being without him was even worse. But not yet. I have to make certain I still take care of Lourdes. And I'm still very, very scared.

  I am as well, he admitted. Stay with me through the conversion. Don't shut me out. No matter what happens, stay open to me. Give me your word, Charlotte. I need to know you'll give that to me.

  She pulled her head back and he leaned down to rest his forehead against hers, his blue gaze drawing her in. Asking her this time. Wanting her to give him that as well.

  Charlotte sighed. "Will I die?"

  "It will feel like death, I've heard. Your organs will change. It isn't easy, sielamet. That I can't take away, no matter how much I want to be able to do it for you. But if you really make this choice, in your heart, in your head, when the time comes, it will be easier. Accepting it. Letting it happen and not fighting it."

  She knew he was trying to reassure her, but the unknown was still frightening. "I have to go see to Lourdes. I've left her alone with Genevieve too long. And we have to sort out where Genevieve will live."

  "For now, she can live in this house. That will allow her to care for Lourdes during the day should she have need. Eventually, when I know Lourdes and the other children can take it, we'll bring them into my world. They'll be much safer that way."

  Charlotte shook her head and tried to step back, but the wall was right behind her. "You can't make that decision for them. They have to do it when they're adults." She wasn't even certain what "it" entailed, but it felt huge. Changing one's entire species. Living differently. She didn't even know what that was. Another terrifying thought occurred. "You don't sleep in a coffin, do you? Because I am so not doing that."

  "No. But we do not go out in the sun. That can burn us. We can handle early morning and early evening. Every Carpathian's sensitivity is different, but as a rule, we can't take the sun. We must sleep during the day, and we're at our most vulnerable then. I'd guess your three stalkers from Paris are vampire hunters and they kill anyone they suspect, vampire, Carpathian or human. They aren't in league with Fridrick."

  "How do you know?"

  "I'd know. We can scan minds, and if a vampire has taken over a human and made him into his puppet . . ." He trailed off, his blue eyes going wide. "Those men with Fridrick were human. I didn't feel them, not even when I scanned their minds, yet clearly they were under Fridrick's control."

  He stepped back, keeping his hands on her shoulders. "We have to find out what they were doing in the tunnels before we drove them all out. Maksim just told me that when he went back under the city to find out what they were doing with all their experiments, everything was destroyed. All the equipment. The cages. Their control room with their computers. It's all rubble. We need that information or we're only guessing at their intentions, and now it's lost to us."

  "I can get it for you. If there's rubble down there, I can still 'see' what it was used for by touching what's left of it," Charlotte said. "I've been doing that kind of thing since I was a child. Of course I never actually told anyone but Genevieve and the people at the psychic testing center in France, but I figured I had plausible deniability if anyone found out. I'm really good at it."

  Tariq stared down at her for a long time, his expression a mixture of awe, approval and pride. The way he looked at her made her feel warm inside. She'd give a lot to see that look on his face often.

  "You would be willing to go down in the tunnels and sift through the rooms with us? It could be very ugly, sielamet. You saw what they did to Liv. Reliving others being tortured can mess you up in ways--"

  She put her hand on his arm to stop him. "I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't think I could handle it. I touch antiques all the time. I've run across torture before. I know it can be ugly, but if this helps get rid of Fridrick and any of his friends, I'll help in any way I can."

  That earned her another kiss. A long one. One she could take with her when she went into a vampire's lair.

  10

  Charlotte stuck the tip of her finger in her mouth. It hurt. Not bad, just a dull, irritating ache. She'd looked at it several times closely to make certain there wasn't a splinter left in from the carousel horse, but there was nothing but a tender, red spot. Sucking on it didn't help. In fact, the moment it was in her mouth, it throbbed annoyingly.

  She'd spent the rest of the evening with Lourdes, well into the night. She wasn't in the least tired and neither was her niece--or any of the children. All of them had slept through the day. She'd put Lourdes to bed, had a wild dawn with Tariq and then slept in Lourdes's bed, only to wake with Tariq in his bed. Now she was being taken to an underground maze below the city where Fridrick and his boss, Vadim, had tortured men, women and children.

  "This is dangerous, isn't it?" she asked, keeping her voice low.

  She was surrounded by Tariq's friends. They kept her in the center and she knew it was deliberate, although they acted casual, so much so that most of the men ignored her after they nodded to her in greeting.

  She recognized his partner, Maksi
m, and the one called Dragomir from the night before. Dragomir was terrifying. If she hadn't been clamped to Tariq's side, she might have run. He didn't look as if he had a gentle bone in his body. If anything, he looked like a killing machine. She tried not to stare at him. He wore his hair in a long, thick braid that fell to his waist. Every inch or so a leather thong wrapped the hair so that the braid was in intriguing increments running down his back. One would think it would make him look a little feminine, but it actually added to his hard, scary look.

  There were triplets Lojos, Tomas and Mataias, all with weathered features and long, streaming hair. According to Tariq, Tomas had been in a battle with vampires, had been severely injured and was still supposed to be healing but had joined them anyway, just as he had in the parking garage.

  She recognized the one called Siv as well. She tried to send him a tentative smile to thank him for rescuing Lourdes, but she didn't get a response out of him.

  Dragomir glanced at her. "She should not go into that place of madness. She is sensitive, Tariq, far too sensitive." He spoke as if she weren't there.

  "She can tell us everything they were doing, and we need to know," Tariq explained. "Without her, we won't know what we're up against."

  "It is dangerous." Simply that.

  The way he said it, without any emotion at all, yet at the same time, with an order, an expectation to be obeyed, made Charlotte cringe. She realized instantly that other than Maksim and Tariq, these men lived in a cold, gray world of nothing. She couldn't help feeling a little afraid of them and yet at the same time feeling compassion toward them.

  Dragomir was not at all like Tariq. He wouldn't want his woman to walk beside him into danger. He wouldn't expect her to go into tunnels and use her gift in order to benefit them all. He was older than Tariq, although she couldn't tell by how much, only that whatever had happened to him had turned him into a very dangerous being. He wouldn't be asking his lifemate whether she wanted to come all the way into his world with him. He'd simply take her there. She had a feeling Siv was the same way.