Dark Carousel

by Christine Feehan

  Charlotte frowned. "I can't hear it. What's it saying?"

  Amelia circled the orange dragon's neck with her arm and pressed her mouth against the ear. "It's telling me I'm safe with it. I can't hear any of the other dragons, but Bella and Lourdes are both talking to their dragons. I think they have chosen us. Or Lojos, Tomas and Mataias created them for us."

  That had to be. Lojos, Tomas and Mataias were ancient hunters. They hadn't found their lifemates, yet they thought to give each of the children living on the property their own special dragon--dragons created under duress, when a battle was imminent. It was more than thoughtful, yet none of them could feel emotion for the children. What was the explanation? They were good men. It came down to that.

  "Can the dragons fly?" Charlotte eyed Lourdes and Bella warily. The dragons had flown, but could they still? Certainly not with two three-year-olds on their backs.

  Amelia frowned at her. "They're made of stone."

  "That's true, but still, they flew before." She whispered so the two little ones couldn't hear. "The dragons defended us when we were ambushed by Fridrick and some of his vampire friends."

  Amelia touched a long gash in the side of her dragon. She was silent for a moment and then she nodded. "That's what happened here. It hurt. Yes, they can fly when needed. We have only to say . . ."

  "Don't say it aloud. Bella and Lourdes cannot be flying dragons around. Don't let them know how it's done."

  To her credit, Amelia didn't laugh. "They would, too, the little demons. Bella's so smart, Charlie. Even after everything that happened, she's the most resilient of all of us. At first she was in a cage, but the monster threatened Liv with her. Indicated he would eat her alive. He actually pulled her from the cage, but she got away and from then on, she kept moving herself inside the tunnels so when a vampire or puppet tried to get her, she just simply went somewhere else. Once she knew they were bad, she played hide-and-seek with them."

  "Telekinesis," Charlotte guessed.

  Amelia nodded. "She wouldn't leave Liv or me, although we both tried to make her go to Danny. We ended up making it a game, so fortunately, she wasn't as traumatized as she could have been. Liv had it the worst, and I couldn't do anything to prevent it."

  The guilt and sorrow in Amelia's voice ate at Charlotte. Touched her heart. Tariq was right. The children needed guidance. Someone to love them. To help them.

  "What gift do you have?"

  Amelia rubbed between the ears of the dragon and then scratched the scales going down the graceful neck. "I can talk to animals."

  "What did they do to you in the tunnels, Amelia?" Charlotte kept her voice low. Gentle. No one talked about Amelia or what had happened to her. They knew Vadim had given Liv to a puppet and that Emeline had been assaulted by the master vampire, but what happened to Amelia remained a mystery and she evidently hadn't talked about it to anyone.

  Amelia's smile faded, and she shrugged her shoulders. "Liv had it the worst," she muttered.

  Charlotte moved closer. "Whatever Liv suffered doesn't take away from what was done to you, hon," she counseled. "I hate what happened to me. It isn't as bad as what happened to Liv, but it's still mine. I have to live with it. You have to live with whatever those monsters did to you."

  Amelia tightened her hold around the orange dragon as if gathering courage from the stone. She looked out over the play yard and then back at the two little girls playing on their dragons. "This is such a wonderful place for us," she whispered. "We lived on the streets after our parents died. They wouldn't keep us together in foster homes. No one would take all of us. Everyone wanted Bella, though. If we hadn't run away, we wouldn't have been able to stay together. But if we hadn't done that . . ." She trailed off, shaking her head.

  "Amelia," Charlotte said softly. "Honey, it's no good to ever think that way. We make the decisions we make based on information we have at the time. You did what you thought was right. How could you possibly have known there were such monsters in the world? I didn't know. They killed Genevieve's boyfriend and her grandmother. They killed my mentor and my brother. I still didn't know, not really, not until I saw them for myself. You can't blame yourself for something that is out of your control."

  Amelia searched her face for a long time, looking for reassurance. Charlotte wanted to wrap her arms around the girl, but was afraid of overstepping boundaries. She was already pressing the teen to talk to her when no one else had. Amelia had been overlooked because of the obvious damage to Liv and Emeline.

  "He's going to marry you, isn't he?" Amelia said. "Or whatever is the same in their world. Tariq is."

  Charlotte nodded, hoping that would buy her some credit with the girl. It was important that she connect emotionally with Amelia. Amelia needed looking after. She clearly was trying hard to be grown-up for her sisters, but she'd been traumatized as well. She needed . . . Charlotte.

  "When we are married, or lifemates, as he says in the ceremony, I hope that you accept Lourdes and me into your family, as you have him. I know he plans to adopt all of you legally."

  "He's talked to us about becoming like him. Fully Carpathian. I want to. Danny wants to as well, but we're worried for Liv and Bella, that they're too young and it might harm them in some way." She bit her lip hard. "I want to be Carpathian because I want to learn to be a hunter, and so does Danny. I don't care if they don't like women going after vampires. I'm going to do it, just like Blaze."

  "Does Blaze actually hunt vampires?" Charlotte asked, careful to keep her tone neutral. She wasn't certain what Tariq would think of the decision. It wouldn't surprise her if Blaze did hunt vampires, given what Emeline had told her about Blaze when they were in Paris and what Tariq had said recently. Still, it would be very unusual for a human to be able to learn that quickly how to kill a vampire successfully. From what she'd seen, it would take years of experience. The vampires were old and had a lot of battle experience.

  Amelia shrugged. "I'm going to learn," she repeated stubbornly.

  Charlotte nodded. "I think all of us need to learn, whether or not we actively hunt them. You're young, so you'll have a lot more time than the rest of us."

  For the first time Amelia seemed to relax. Charlotte hadn't told her she was being silly or stupid, and it seemed to matter to her. She flashed a tentative smile. "You're going to have to argue with Tariq for us."

  "I think I'll be doing that a lot," Charlotte agreed with a small smile. "He's very . . ." She hesitated, searching for the right word. "Old-fashioned in his thinking."

  Amelia nodded. "But not like some of the others." A little shiver went through her body. "They're just plain freaky."

  Charlotte couldn't help noticing that Amelia continually stroked the stone dragon's neck and the touch seemed to calm her. "They can be scary," she agreed. "But Amelia, you still need to talk to someone about what happened to you. If not me, then let me find you someone else."

  Amelia shook her head. "Not anyone else. They'd think we were crazy. You can't go back, you know. Once you know about this other world, the monsters that live with us, there's no going back and pretending, is there?"

  "Is that what you tried to do?" Charlotte kept her eyes on the little girls, but they continued talking to their dragons. Neither seemed to try to get their dragon to fly. So far neither child had thought of it.

  "Yes," Amelia admitted. "I wanted to pretend all of this away." She pushed a hand through her thick hair. "Even with my imagination, I couldn't manage it."

  Charlotte moved closer to the girl and laid a hand on the orange dragon's neck. The stone was warm in spite of the night. Amelia looked utterly lost and alone. She was fourteen years old and trying to be an adult for her two sisters who had suffered at the hands of monsters.

  "I tried to pretend it away as well, especially when my brother was murdered so cruelly. Lourdes was there. They killed him right in front of her." Charlotte glanced over at the little girl whispering to the blue dragon. "She won't talk about it, but she has nightmares.
She barely knew me when I showed up to take her home with me. We don't have relatives, so they put her in emergency care until I came for her. They wouldn't even allow her nanny to take her. I was in Europe." She hesitated and then decided to be fully honest. "Fridrick was the vampire who killed my brother. He said he spared Lourdes so I would come back to the States. They wanted Genevieve and me here."

  Amelia looked over at Lourdes, compassion on her face. "I don't know what to do to help them." There was despair in her voice and etched onto her face when she turned back to Charlotte. Tears glittered in her eyes. "I can't help them any more than I can help myself."

  Charlotte had been edging closer to her, and Amelia turned into her so Charlotte pulled her tightly against her and held her. Amelia burst into quiet sobs.

  "I don't know how to help them, either, Amelia, but I think we're stronger together than apart. I think if you and I work together, we can eventually help each other and then the children."

  There was no way she could stand there in the night, holding the weeping teenager, and not want to be a mother to her. Someone needed to help them all. She didn't think she was qualified to be a mom, but she was all they had and she was determined to be whatever they needed. "We can do this together, Amelia. Whatever Tariq decides about all of us, we can do it together. You know he won't let us down. He'll find a way for all of you to be safe outside the property, and in the meantime, we can find a way to help our little ones."

  Amelia lifted her head. "Do you think so?"

  Charlotte nodded solemnly because she meant every word and she wanted Amelia to see the truth. "When Tariq adopts all of you, I will as well. That would make me the mom and him the dad. He wants to make certain no one can step in and take any of you from us."

  "Liv said you weren't sure about being our mother. She can read people," Amelia said carefully, clearly trying to find the right words without upsetting Charlotte.

  Charlotte nodded and stroked little soothing caresses down Amelia's hair. "She's right. At the time I was just getting used to the idea of being with Tariq. I'd just taken on Lourdes, and wasn't doing such a great job with one traumatized child who barely knew me, and then he said he wanted to adopt all four of you. I didn't know if I could help you and that worried me. I didn't want to make an emotional snap decision. I want you to be healthy and happy. But after really thinking about it, I'm in the same world you're in. I've seen the monsters and what they do. I'm not a qualified counselor, but I don't need to be to be your mother. I just need to love you and find a common path so we can all connect. I'm willing to do that. I want to do that."

  Amelia sighed and leaned in closer, wrapping her arms around Charlotte, holding on tightly--so tightly Charlotte felt the bite of that bruising grip almost to her bones.

  "He touched me." Amelia whispered the horrific words, pressing her forehead against Charlotte's neck. "Inside. You know. Down there. Outside. On my skin. He put his hand on my belly and then he stripped my clothes off without touching them. One minute I had clothes and then I was naked in front of him, the one they called Vadim. He was obviously the leader. His brother Sergey was there and the one called Fridrick."

  Amelia whispered the words into Charlotte's ear, clinging tightly. "It wasn't like what they did to Liv, because they only bit into my neck and my . . ." She pulled back and touched her left breast. The tears on her lashes made them spiky and wet. Heartbreaking. "Here." She laid her palm over her breast, shuddering. "And then he took his hand and pressed very hard into my belly and put his fingers in me. He said I wasn't ripe yet, but would be soon." She closed her eyes and laid her head on Charlotte's shoulder. "They were horrible. Grinning. They said someone named Addler could have me."

  A little shudder went through Amelia's slim body and then she was crying again. Silently. Heart-wrenching sobs that broke Charlotte's heart. She held the girl as close as possible, whispering to her, reaching for Tariq in her mind. She wanted to be able to soothe Amelia by herself, and she knew Tariq was with Danny trying to help him understand what they all knew had to be done with the children. Conversion. Charlotte didn't want to think too much about that last step. Danny had waylaid him before he could reach the gate and insisted on talking.

  Addler is Fridrick's brother. There are three of them. Fridrick is the oldest, then Georg and last Addler. He got kicked around a lot. They often travel together. All three chose to give up their souls and follow Vadim Malinov. They were there that night, tearing through the village, killing as many innocents as possible just because I'd befriended them and refused to join the Malinovs in their betrayal.

  She heard the guilt in his voice. She couldn't imagine what it was like watching so many innocent people fall at the hands of monstrous vampires simply because you chose that village to live and work in.

  "Is something wrong with Amelia?" Liv came up behind them, her voice trembling when she saw her older sister in Charlotte's arms.

  Amelia started to pull away, hastily trying to cover up the fact that she was crying, but Charlotte didn't let her. "She's telling me about what happened to her in the tunnels. It's hard to do that, to let yourself remember and trust someone else enough to tell them, but it's also very brave. She'll be all right. We all will. We'll get through this together."

  While she was talking, Liv put her hand on Charlotte's leg. Casually. Lightly. Still, Charlotte knew she was checking for the truth. Reading her. She continued to hold Amelia and stroked soothing caresses down her hair, down her back, whispering gently to her how proud she was and that they could get through this. They could help the others together. And she meant every single word.

  Liv looked up at her for the first time with a fierce, possessive look, and she wrapped her arms around Charlotte's waist, holding on to her sister and locking her against Charlotte. "You'll do it then. You'll be our mother."

  "I want to be," Charlotte agreed softly. "I think we all belong together, don't you?"

  Liv nodded. "And Emeline. She belongs with us. She's broken, too."

  Charlotte dropped her hand on top of Liv's head. "We might all be a bit broken, honey, but together we're very strong and we'll grow stronger as we get to know one another. We can help one another get through this. And we will get through it."

  "You believe that," Liv said. "Amelia, she really believes that."

  Amelia managed to stop the tears, and she just rested her forehead against Charlotte's shoulder for a moment before straightening and directing a smile at her younger sister. "I know she does. And I'm beginning to believe it myself."

  "What are these?" Liv asked, turning back toward the rock dragons. "They look like fun. They're all very different, aren't they? Where did they come from?" She fired off the questions rapidly.

  Charlotte laughed softly, still holding Amelia. They weren't through talking but they had a good start. "Which one appeals to you?" She wondered if each individual dragon made by the three Carpathian hunters had been created with one of these children in mind. That would be . . . incredible. That would mean that in the middle of putting together a plan to leave a dangerous situation, knowing they were going into battle, they'd thought about the children and found a way to make each dragon significant and appealing to them. She loved that a Carpathian male would do such a thing.

  Liv let go of Charlotte and Amelia and walked slowly around the other dragons. She put her hand on each of them. Lourdes's blue dragon. Bella's red dragon. Amelia's orange dragon. Her hand stroked down the brown one and then settled on the green one. At once her mouth broke out into a smile and she pushed her face close to the rock, whispering. Charlotte let out her breath slowly. That was exactly what Lojos, Tomas and Mataias had done--created a rock dragon for each child. The children couldn't leave the property, and they were all, in their own ways, suffering from their parents' death and the events that followed, but this had been done for them. Something unusual and beautiful. She wanted to kiss each of the triplets.

  There will be no kissing other men. Amusement tin
ged Tariq's voice.

  Did you know they did this for the children? You should see their faces, Tariq; these dragons are incredible.

  You don't know the half of it. We'll have to watch Bella and Lourdes to make certain they don't fly off. But they have protection as well as something fun and unique to play with.

  She turned Amelia so she could see her sisters and Lourdes playing on the rock dragons, whispering to them and then laughing. "Look at their faces, honey," she whispered softly, in awe. She might not know how to help the children, but she wasn't alone in trying. All the Carpathians were willing to work toward healing them.

  All children are sacred to Carpathians, Charlotte. Each child belongs to all of us. We help raise them and care for them. They are loved by all.

  I thought hunters couldn't feel emotion.

  She felt his hesitation as he tried to explain, but even by touching his memories, she would never fully understand. With children there is a softness brought only by them. Not an emotion, but a stirring, an echo maybe of what we had before we lost the ability to feel.

  She felt his sadness, his sorrow, for the hunters protecting them, the ones unable to see in color or feel the things they should even while they thought of helping children who desperately needed it. "See, Amelia, look at Liv's face," she reiterated. "She'll get through this. We all will, together. Help me help them all. Stand with Tariq and me. We can be a family. It won't be the one you had, or the one I had, but we'll be good together. All of us. Even the hunters protecting us. We'll count them as family, too."

  Amelia looked back at her with a hint of laughter in her eyes. "Even the scary ones? Because there's one that . . ." She trailed off and looked around her to make certain no one else was close.

  Deliberately Charlotte leaned close. "Dragomir. I know exactly who you're talking about."

  "You haven't met Val yet," Amelia said. "I saw him once in the tunnels. He was as scary as Dragomir, although Liv doesn't think so. And the one Tariq calls Siv."

  Charlotte nodded. "I have gotten that impression from everyone, including Tariq." She seemed to catch a lot of thoughts even when she wasn't looking for them. She was changed already, more in Tariq's world than in her own. Food was abhorrent to her, and when she couldn't eat or drink anything, Tariq had helped her. It hadn't been easy; she had a heavy shield on her mind, something that helped when vampires wanted to control her but was a deterrent when her man wanted her to eat something she didn't want.