My Little Sister Can Read Kanji: Volume 2 (Ereader)

by Takashi Kajii

  Dear People of the 21st Century,

  This book is a retitled and translated edition of LILSIS READ KANJI 2 (by Gin Imose), which was published in the 23rd century. This translation is not literal, and it has been adjusted in order to be more easily readable by 21st century readers.

  Furthermore, in order for the reader to gain a deeper understanding of the literary and social culture of the 23rd century, I have included translated excerpts from the literary magazine Literary Gal. Please keep in mind that these passages from Literary Gal are not presented in their original text, but rather through my interpretive translation.

  Now, I would like to give my warmest thanks to the original author, Mr. Gin Imose, as well as the publisher of Literary Gal, Hoggy Japan, Inc., and all the other people involved in the creation of this work. You all have my utmost gratitude and appreciation.

  The Translator

  Chapter 1 - School Days

  My little sister can read kanji. And that’s really quite amazing.

  ...Actually, no, it’s not.

  A future Japan in which kanji are no longer used? If you were to think rationally, there is no way for such a thing to happen. It is just unrealistic to believe that Japanese could be expressed only with kana letters and symbols.

  So, let’s get real here.

  In 23rd century Japan, it’s not merely kanji which are no longer used in Japan, it’s Japanese itself! Japan is now an English only country. English has become the official language of all countries around the world, and Japan is no exception. Japanese was driven out mercilessly by the invading English, and the old Japanese of Japan has disappeared.

  Therefore, I think it best to restart this work with the appropriate setting:

  “My Little Sister Can Read English.”

  From now on, I will be writing my monologue in English, as well.

  SOUIUWAKEDESUNODE DOUKA GORIKAIONEGAISHIMASU. (I humbly request your cooperation.)

  “—Onii-chan, what are you muttering about?”

  My sister’s rude question interrupted my train of thought. Ahhh, what is it? I was just about to have an interesting idea...

  “I was figuring out an idea for my new book,” I replied.

  “New book? Wait, it’s not that one? You’re gonna write something different again?”

  “No, no, that one is my life’s work. This is a different one.”

  Walking next to me was a girl with long, shiny, black hair. She seemed more mature than her 16 years of age with her well-proportioned body and precisely structured face. She was carrying a dictionary with her, which lent her an intellectual air.

  She was the elder of my two little sisters, Kuroha.

  Brother and sister, we climbed the gentle slope toward the 21st century high school which stood on the top of the hill. But, we were not alone.

  “Oh, Gin-san, are you writing another novel? When it is done, please let me read it!”

  The blonde-haired girl with the calm voice gave me a warm smile. She was extremely beautiful, and her eyes gave off an expression of kindness. Everything about her was lovable.

  She was Yuzu-san, a beautiful girl from the 21st century who I had met.

  I was in the middle, and I was walking with Kuroha to my right and Yuzu-san to my left.

  “My new work will be written entirely in English and take place in Japan. Don’t you think it will be a refreshing setting?” I explained.

  “Oh, my! You mean Japan has become the U.S.? If that’s the case, then should I have been cooking meals that Americans would like?” Yuzu asked curiously.

  “Is it really that improbable a setting? If English continues to spread, couldn’t you see it actually happening in the far future?” commented Kuroha.

  Yuzu-san and Kuroha had completely different reactions to my idea.

  “I’m going to title my new work ‘&.’” I wrote the title on the palm of my hand and showed it to them.

  “Maybe I don’t need to ask, but what does it mean?” asked Kuroha. “If it’s you, Onii-chan, then probably...”

  “It’s a little girl sitting indian-style in gym class.”

  “Figures,” she replied, as if hoping for some other answer.

  “Um... Which part is the head and which part is the rear-end?” asked Yuzu-san.

  Kuroha looked exasperated, and Yuzu-san tilted her head a little.

  “Hey, Kuroha. There’s one thing I’d like to ask you about,” I said.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  “What does this title have to do with an English-only Japan?”

  “How the hell would I know? Ask that bone in your head you call a brain!” Kuroha hadn’t been in a good mood since this morning.

  As we talked, the front gate to the school came into view. On it was written “私立白明学園,” which I had figured out meant the name of our school. I wasn’t able to read it myself, but Kuroha and Yuzu-san had taught me how.

  “Yuzu-san, what is today’s date and year again?”

  “June 27th, 201X.”

  “I see. In that case...” We had already been in the 21st century for a week. In order to return the culture of the 23rd century to what it was, we had come straight back to the 21st century.

  In the real 23rd century Japan, the city streets were overflowing with moe, and kanji were no longer used in written Japanese. The great author, Kurona Gura, had written a moe novel called Oniaka (I Want to Have Onii-chan’s Baby), which had had a tremendous impact on all culture.

  Of course we enjoyed the blessings of such an abundant moe culture, but some individual had stolen the manuscript to a work we had written in the 21st century called Ani MAJI Mania (Crazy for Big Brother), which would become the basis for Oniaka. Having lost the spark that would inspire him, Gura did not write Oniaka, and instead published a book called Seishin (The Stars), which had vanishingly few moe aspects to it and used a considerable amount of kanji.

  Effectively, the future had changed from the Oniaka route to the Seishin route. The moe had disappeared from the city, and kanji were in daily use. The culture was much closer to the Japan of the past.

  Our goal was to prevent Seishin from changing the world by stopping the manuscript of Ani MAJI Mania from being stolen, but...

  “Onii-chan, you have this serious look on your face,” pointed out Kuroha. “That’s rare.”

  “Yeah. I was just thinking about how we’re in a bind.”

  Kuroha’s expression clouded up. “It’s true that the situation is pretty dire, but there’s sure to be a solution. Don’t go giving up!”

  “I’m not giving up. Of course not.”

  To sum it up, we were in big trouble. Let me explain in chronological order.

  When we traveled back in time once again, an unexpected thing occurred. We had originally planned to return to Yuzu-san’s house, but right before we time traveled, we all started talking about how we wanted to go to a resort and relax. So instead of ending up at our destination, we arrived at a resort somewhere in the Kanto area.

  At first we weren’t sure what was going on, but since we were at a resort, we decided to relax for a bit. However, Odaira-sensei snuck his way into a “kiddie swimming lesson class” and caused a giant ruckus, so we weren’t able to stay for long.

  After that, we headed to Yuzu-san’s house, but when we arrived, the manuscript for Ani MAJI Mania had already been stolen. We had no other choice, so I ate another marshmallow in order to time travel once again. I figured we would move to a time before it was stolen.

  But, nothing happened.

  Eating the marshmallows no longer caused us to travel through time!

&
nbsp; Unable to accomplish our goal, we were now trapped in the Heisei era...

  “So, we don’t have Ani MAJI Mania, and we can’t eat the marshmallows to travel through time...” said Kuroha, biting her lip. “I bet if the person who did this were secretly watching us, they’d be clapping their hands in joy.”

  “Um, perhaps I should just write another copy of Ani MAJI Mania?” suggested Yuzu-san.

  “Yuzu-san, can you write the same thing a second time?” I asked, and Yuzu-san replied with a grin.

  “Nope, not a chance!”

  I knew it!

  Ani MAJI Mania had been handwritten, and we didn’t have a copy of it in data form. It had already been quite a while since it was written, so it would have been difficult to write the same thing again.

  We had been backed into a corner, and everyone was screwing their heads trying to figure out what to do. We all puzzled over it.

  But we couldn’t find any way to resolve the situation.

  Of course, we didn’t just give up so easily on a way to return to the future. I’m gonna go back to the future and become an author!

  But we had nothing to go on, and no matter how hard we thought, we couldn’t come up with a plan... Therefore, rather than just sitting with our heads in our hands, we had decided to seriously continue living our lives in this time period, and we were once again starting to attend school.

  Yuzu-san smiled brightly at Kuroha and me, trying to cheer us up. “But at least I can go to school together with you two again! How fun!”

  We could see the school in front of us. The arriving students were all being sucked through the gate. I stopped and looked up at the ancient-looking school building across the school grounds.

  Kuroha and I were people from the 23rd century, but we had gone to this school before. Yuzu-san’s family was rich, and using that influence, we had transferred in. It hadn’t been even ten days since we had disappeared from the 21st century, so we were still enrolled.

  “Onii-chan, I’m begging you, please don’t embarrass us any more this time,” said Kuroha.

  She was referring to how I had already become quite a legend, apparently. I think becoming the talk of the school is something to be proud of.

  “Okay. For now, let’s go back to spreading moe at this school,” I said. “I regret not being to do a performance in front of a full school assembly, so I’ll make that my first goal!”

  “Argh! Why do you always take what I say and decide the complete opposite?!”

  “Oh, I know! At the school assembly I can ask, ‘Is there anyone here who knows how to travel through time?’ There are so many students, maybe there’s one who can give us a clue!”

  “I told you not to talk about how we’re from the future, remember?! You’re the one who needs to get a clue, Onii-chan!” Kuroha bopped me with the dictionary she was carrying.

  Hey, that’s not a proper use for a dictionary!

  Yuzu-san was watching us, and let out a little laugh. “It’s funny watching you two. You really are a pair.”

  “You think? Well, we are brother and sister,” I said.

  “You’ve spent a long time together with each other. Do you go to the same school in the future, too?”

  “Yes. But I’m one year ahead of her.”

  “What is school like in the future?”

  “Well, you see...” As Yuzu-san asked me the question, the memories began to bubble up.

  I remembered my school days in the 23rd century. It was quite different from school in the 21st century. The school was—

  I’m pretty sure that the feel of a classroom before class begins hasn’t changed over the ages.

  Looking around the chattering classroom bathed in the morning sunlight everyone was a little groggy, but doing whatever they wanted. Talking with friends, half-asleep passed out on their desk, studying up on the class subject... or whipping out their girlfriend to talk to.

  “Sorry! I know it’s my fault! But I just can’t choose, I love you both so much!!” cried a teary-eyed boy in the center of the classroom.

  It was the most popular kid in class, Sugawara-kun. He had placed two postcards with illustrations of pretty girls on his desk, and was repeatedly bowing his head to them.

  In other words, his two-timing had been found out.

  Well, that was the scenario, it seemed. A power player like Sugawara-kun could enjoy a realistic situation like that kind of horror show. In the current-day, the number of men who had 2D girlfriends or wives had increased.

  THINK NOW, 2D LOVE OR 3D LOVE?

  This was the title of the book that the boy sitting behind Sugawara-kun, Tanaka-kun, was reading. Having a 2D lover was so commonplace now that books with that kind of title were being published. The heroine of Oniaka, Homyura, had been my first love, and she was 2D. But if I were to get a girlfriend, I thought it would be best for her to be 3D. It would have been lonely to date someone who I couldn’t hold hands with.

  And then...

  Boioioing!

  The bell rung that signaled the start of class. With a little electronic whine, the small displays on each of our desks came on. They showed a picture of a cute anime character. It was our class’s 2D homeroom teacher Kazoe-sensei.

  Kazoe-sensei looked basically like Homyura from Oniaka. Since each student was able to adjust the appearance and outfit to his or her taste, I had used the character builder to customize Kazoe-sensei to look just like Homyura.

  “I-It’s not like I want to start class or anything, okay?” she said.

  Since you could choose her personality and speaking style, I had chosen “classical tsundere.”

  “Sensei, please don’t say that. I’d like to start class,” I said kindly, speaking into the microphone that was underneath the display. My Kazoe-sensei wasn’t honest with herself, so it would take her a little bit to actually start class. Well, I suppose that’s a good thing.

  “If you insist, I guess I could start class. But it’s not like I’m doing it just for you, got it?!”

  “But you’re the only one who can start class for me, Kazoe-sensei. You’re the only one I can count on.”

  “Fine, I know! I just have to start class, right? See if I care!”

  Kazoe-sensei disappeared. Every morning as class began, it would show the customary opening animation.

  With a scene of the teachers coming to school, the female singer KIRA would sing, “You won’t find true love at schoooooool,” our school song. It’s a good song, so I would sing along with it in a loud voice. “Find true love at schoooooool!”

  When the opening was over, Kazoe-sensei appeared on the screen once again. Class had finally begun.

  “First subject is civics. If you feel like answering, well, I guess I can’t stop you.”

  Civics, huh? I’m pretty good at that subject.

  The display showed a question.

  3 BIG ATTRIBUTES WHICH INFLUENCE JAPAN GOVERNMENT CULTURE ART ARE... (The three major attributes which have had the greatest influence on Japan’s government, culture, and art are...)

  What a simple question! There isn’t a single person in current-day Japan which doesn’t know the three major attributes!

  “Little Sister, Big Sister, Childhood Friend!” I answered confidently.

  CLOSE.

  That was what was shown on the display in big letters. H-Huh?

  A picture of a girl in a miniskirt was shown immediately afterward, and a gust of air blew up from below. For just a brief moment the skirt began to flip upward, but the girl used her hand and held it down.

  CLOSE, indeed.

  What I had just been shown was a reward video. Each student could choose their favorite reward video genre, and I had set mine to “panty flash.”

  “This is why I don’t like stupid people, see?” scolded Kazoe-sensei. “I told you that it was a civics question, remember? Listen to the entire question before you answer! The three major attributes which have had the greatest influence on Japan’s government, cu
lture, and art are ‘Little Sister, Big Sister, Childhood Friend,’ but the current three largest political parties are what?”

  Oops, my bad.

  The correct answer was the “Little Sister Party,” the “Big Sister Party,” and the “Childhood Friend Party,” exactly the same as the attributes. For your information, the largest party in Japan was the “Little Sister Party.” Every 2D prime minister in history had been a little sister, and that was because, for the past 30 years, the “Little Sister Party” had held the reigns of political power.

  “And here is a follow-up question that’s good to know. The three major attributes are the standard, but there is another which is said to trump all three. Do you have any idea what I’m talking about, dummy?”

  “Uh, no?”

  “Mother.”

  “What? Are you talking about, like, your real mom?”

  “Man, you are so stupid! I suppose I should have said motherly instinct. Throughout history, the most popular heroines have all had a motherly instinct.”

  Oh...? Really? Then maybe the next heroine I write about should have a motherly instinct. Maybe that can serve as a source of inspiration. My mom complains to me a lot, but she’s calm and nice to me, as well. I can make my heroine like that.

  “Next, history!” Kazoe-sensei cried.

  Okay! I’m gonna get this one right and see me some panties!

  AKECHI MITSUHIDE→ HONNOUJI INCIDENT WHY?

  Oh yeah, didn’t they find some new evidence or something lately that proved his motivation...?

  Everyone else was asked the same question, and I could hear their various answers coming from around the classroom.

  “Nobunaga chose the wrong response, which lowered Mitsuhide’s affection stat!”

  “It was because they couldn’t agree whether ‘Pretty girls who recently transferred in from another school’ or ‘Always been by your side childhood friends’ were better!”

  “Mitsuhide was pissed at Nobunaga because he forgot to record his anime, and he was jealous of him!”

  Yes, those answers are all pretty convincing. But none of them seem like they are correct to me.