Heart of Disaster: A Titanic Novel of love and loss

by Rachel Wesson

  Gerry didn’t know but he didn’t think it likely anyone would hang a sailor for refusing to get on a ship that wasn’t carrying enough lifeboats. Not after the Titanic.

  Davy ground his cigarette into the floor. “Bloody officers! Never think of anyone but themselves, do they? When do you think they will call us?”

  “I don’t know, Davy. They might just take a statement. You might not get a chance to speak in front of all those important people.”

  “I wouldn’t mind speaking in front of those ladies. They liked Officer Lowe, didn’t they? They kept giggling when he was talking. They think he’s a hero.”

  “Well, he did go back for them in the water. There isn’t any other officer you can say that about. At least he tried, even if he did leave it a bit late.”

  “True that.”

  Chapter 62

  Gerry was one of the last to be called. He took an oath on the bible, glancing around the room as he did so. The White Star Line representatives sat stone-faced to a man, all eyes on him. He pulled at the collar of the second-hand shirt he had been given to wear. Was it him or was it really hot in the room?

  “Mr. Walker, you were on duty in the boiler room?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Gerry couldn’t help but notice how small the senator was in person. His voice was that of a much larger man. Smith looked tired but determined. Gerry sat straighter. He was going to do everything he could to help this man get justice for those who died. Tommy among them.

  “Mr. Walker, have you sailed under Captain Smith before?”

  “Yes, sir.” Gerry relaxed a little. This wasn’t too bad.

  “Were you involved in boat drills on those sailings?”

  “Yes, sir, like clockwork they took place every trip.”

  “What about on the Titanic?”

  Gerry sat up straighter. “No, sir.”

  “There were no drills, or you didn’t take part in them?”

  Gerry’s mouth grew dry. “Both, sir. No drills took place during the voyage. I didn’t take place in the one at Southampton.”

  “Why not?”

  “They picked better seamen than me. Those who could row a boat.” At the Senator’s look of disbelief, Gerry tried to explain. “What I mean, sir, is that they pick the men best suited to manning lifeboats. They tested the boats in Southampton, but they weren’t filled up with people and lowered into the sea.”

  The sweat running down the back of his neck was making him itch. He hoped the senator wouldn’t have too many more questions. He wished he could change his shirt.

  “You can’t row a boat, yet you are a sailor?” Smith’s question caused some of the female observers to laugh.

  “I’m a fireman, sir. Most of us are not sailors. Few crew members would know how to row a boat. Don’t get much use for it, usually, sir.”

  Gerry hadn’t meant to be amusing yet the audience laughed again at his response. He hoped the senator didn’t take offense. He’d heard this small man with the loud voice rip others to shreds.

  “I see. Surely you did lifeboat drills when you were at sea? On other ships.”

  “Normally, we would perform drills. But not on the Titanic. It was due to take place on Sunday morning, but it didn’t happen.” Gerry glanced at the floor not wanting to look at anyone.

  “Why not?”

  Gerry was about to tell him the captain didn’t consult the firemen about his plans, but he stopped. This man was trying to do something others weren’t and that was find out the truth behind what happened. He owed him his respect as well as his help.

  “I have no idea. Some say it was because Captain Smith liked to give the Sunday sermon, at the First and Second Class service. Others say we didn’t need it because the ship was unsinkable.”

  “Obviously, it wasn’t.” Someone shouted. Smith roared for silence, leaving Gerry feeling even hotter.

  “Please go on, Mr. Walker.”

  “May have helped though if people had known where to find their boats. But then maybe not as they would have then realized there wasn’t enough lifeboats for everyone. That would have caused panic.” For a split second, Gerry wished he could go back in time and not say what he just had.

  The senator eyed him for a few moments, which seemed more like hours. The White Star Line representatives glared at him. He guessed they didn’t like what he was saying but he didn’t care. It was the truth.

  “In your opinion, was everything done that could have been done to save all the passengers?”

  Gerry fisted his hands and shuffled in the seat. He was tempted to respond a low-ranking crew member wouldn’t know the answer. But this was his chance to give his opinion on what happened. Should he take the easy option, or should he tell the truth as he saw it. He played for time. “What do you mean, sir?”

  “You are an intelligent man. I am sure you have read the newspaper coverage of the events of the night of the fourteenth. You will also see that the crew member’s chances of survival mirrored those of the First Class women and children. Those facts could make people think the crew took more care tending to themselves than to the people who paid for tickets.”

  Gerry bristled, his nails biting into the palms of his hands. He struggled to keep his tone civil. “Not the lads I worked with, sir. They kept working down below in an effort to keep her, the ship, afloat until a rescue ship came along. They were ordered up on deck. They weren’t to blame for the lack of passengers in the boats.”

  “Then who was?”

  Gerry stared at him. He had walked himself into this one right enough. He looked toward the White Star Line representatives, who now looked ready to swing for him. He cleared his throat.

  “I think it was a mixture of things, sir.” Gerry stopped for a moment. Should he keep talking or just leave it at that? For a second, Tommy’s face popped into his mind. He had to do something. If only for Jean’s brother.

  Before anyone could stop him, he started speaking more rapidly.

  “I think there is a lot of blame to be laid at other people’s feet. There should have been more lifeboats on the ship. There should have been a drill. The lifeboats should have been full before they left the ship.” Gerry stopped talking as silence reigned. He wiped his forehead with a hand before the sweat poured into his eyes.

  After what seemed like a lifetime but was only a minute or two, Senator Smith addressed him once more.

  “What else, Mr. Walker?”

  “That’s about it, sir. I know there are other things that need to change. I don’t claim to be an expert, but I think changes need to be made.”

  Smith shuffled some papers in front of him. “Now tell me how you came to leave the ship.”

  Was Smith implying he had shirked his duty? Gerry counted to ten to control his temper. “I didn’t have much choice, sir. I was ordered onto a boat. On the ship, you have to follow orders. Just like in the army.”

  “An officer ordered you into a lifeboat?”

  “Yes, sir. First Officer, Murdoch.”

  “Did you refuse?”

  Gerry’s mouth fell open. Was the man mad? Who would refuse an order, but even more relevant, who would give up the chance to be saved? He’d wanted to live. He wanted a chance to see Jean and get married, have a family. The tears crept into his eyes and he couldn’t speak. He rubbed a sleeve across his eyes.

  “Do you need a break, Mr. Walker?”

  “No sir, sorry sir.” Gerry pulled himself together. If Jean could see him now, she would be ashamed of him. A grown man crying like a babe.

  “I wanted to live, sir.”

  Muttering broke out in the courtroom. Senator Smith did nothing to stop it. Gerry stared straight ahead not looking from left to right, not making eye contact with anyone.

  Gerry stayed silent, taking some deep breaths. He tried to stop his knees from shaking by pressing his feet firmly to the ground. How long would it take for the Senator to ask another question? Senator Smith looked up.

  “Did th
e lifeboat you were in go back for any passengers once the ship went down?”

  “No, sir.” Gerry stared at his shoes.

  “Did you not hear the people screaming?”

  Gerry closed his eyes, hearing and seeing the sounds from that night. His shirt, drenched now, stuck to him. He had to breathe slowly as his heart pounded.

  “Yes, sir. I asked the senior crew member to go back but he said the ladies wouldn’t like it.”

  “The ladies?”

  “Yes, sir. He didn’t specify which ones. I suggested to the ladies sitting near me that the screams could be their men and loved ones in trouble. Some were in agreement, but many were too frightened of what would happen.”

  “Please explain what you mean by that last remark, Mr. Walker?”

  “The crew member, he said we would be swamped and the people in the lifeboat would drown. I tried, I swear I tried to argue that wouldn’t be the case. For most a few minutes in the cold water would be enough to rob them of their strength. We had room in our boat, not as much as in some but we could, we should have returned.”

  Senator Smith stared at him, an expression of pity on his face. Gerry didn’t want this man feeling sorry for him. He just wanted to go home. Back to England and Jean.

  “Thank you for your assistance, Mr. Walker. You are excused.”

  Relieved, Gerry walked down from the stand and out of the inquiry room. It was pointless waiting for the other crew members or their bosses. He had finished his own career by telling the truth in that room, but he didn’t feel bad about it. If anything, he was relieved. He owed Tommy and all his fellow crew members, and the passengers, to do anything he could to stop something like the Titanic disaster happening again. He had done his best. The rest was up to the senator and his inquiry. There would be an inquiry, too, back in England but he doubted he would be called to give evidence, not after that performance.

  Chapter 63

  One year later, New York, April 15th, 1913

  Delia Brennan picked up the newspaper Conor brought home.

  “Don’t read it love, some more upsetting stories in there. It’s the anniversary and all.”

  She ignored his warning, her eyes focused on the picture of two boys.

  “Conor, look these are the boys I told you about. They were with me in the lifeboat. The ones I couldn’t understand. Says here they were kidnapped by their father. That’s why they were on the Titanic.”

  Conor looked up from his dinner.

  “Where is their mam?”

  “She was in France, but they have been reunited now. They got their happy ending, I suppose.”

  Conor came up behind her, put his hands around her waist to cradle her stomach.

  “We got ours, too, didn’t we, darling? You, me and this little man of ours.”

  “How do you know it’s a boy?”

  Conor looked bemused for a moment. “I don’t. I just assumed. I don’t mind if we have a girl. As I was saying, little did we know when we arrived with only the clothes on our backs, things would turn out so well for us.”

  “I think that must be the understatement of the year. You got out of the hospital in no time at all. We didn’t even have to wait long for the one hundred and twenty-five dollars from the American Red Cross. Some survivors are still waiting on claims to be paid out.”

  “Some of them have requested huge sums of money. I read one guy asked for over $10,000. He was in Third Class just like us.”

  Delia knew about the case. She had read a few different reports on the outlandish claims made by some survivors. “It’s not our place to judge, darling. He may not have had any friends or relations to help him. We were lucky to have your brothers. Without them, you mightn’t have found your job as quickly.”

  “They always need brickies in New York, Delia. They didn’t find you a job in the store, did they? You did all that by yourself.”

  “Yes but…”

  “But nothing. You work hard and the commission you earn means we could afford this apartment.”

  Delia looked around their new home. “Thanks, love. Not many men would acknowledge their wife’s contribution.”

  “Not many men have a wife like mine with her fine accent and fancy clothes.”

  Delia giggled as he tickled her. “Nobody would ever have guessed we would settle so quickly, would they?”

  Delia shook her head. “I love New York. I can’t imagine living anywhere else. I know it’s busy and noisy but there is always something to do. Which reminds me, are you taking me to the circus this weekend?”

  “Of course. Even the brothers want to come. That alright with you? I know you got a bit fed up of them, when we were sharing their place.”

  “Fine with me.” Delia got on much better with Conor’s brothers now they had their own place. She didn’t have to see their dirty socks on the floor or clean up after them.

  “I got a letter from Kate and another from John Hart, today. Kate said some reporters were hanging around wanting to talk to her.”

  Conor’s face darkened. “They better not turn up here. I never want to discuss it, no matter how much money they offer me.”

  “Me neither. I won’t be a party to gossip about anyone. Nobody knows how they would react in the same situation. And how is talking about it, going to change anything.”

  Conor kissed her. “Don’t get all het up, love. It’s not good for the baby.”

  She changed the subject. “I got a letter from Geraldine earlier today. She said my aunt isn’t doing so well. The doctors have diagnosed her with heart trouble.” Delia knew Conor wouldn’t have any sympathy for her aunt. She didn’t keep secrets from him although he wasn’t a fan of her being in contact with Dublin. He worried her aunt would find a hold over her and come between them. As if she would let that happen.

  “You mean they found a heart? Well, that proves miracles do happen!”

  Delia knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help laughing. She didn’t blame Conor for his views on her Aunt Cecilia.

  “Are you going to write back to Lady Fitzgerald to tell her about our son?” Conor asked kissing the top of her head.

  Delia turned into her husband’s embrace. “There you go again. Our son!”

  He kissed the top of her head.

  “I don’t know what we are having, and I don’t care. I love you, Delia Brennan and I already adore the child we are going to have. He or she will grow up surrounded by love. That much I promise.”

  Delia gave herself up to her husband’s kiss, secure in the knowledge he meant every word.

  Chapter 64

  Riverside Springs, Wyoming, April 1913

  K ate Maloney wiped her hands down her gown once more. She had never had anything so beautiful.

  “If you keep doing that, you will leave sweat marks on the dress. All brides are nervous but sure Sean Donnelly loves the very bones of ye.”

  Her matron of honor and soon to be sister-in-law fussed around her like a mother hen.

  “I know, Mary, but it seems so sudden. It’s only been a year since the Titanic.” Kate’s voice trailed off. She hated talking about the ship.

  “Sure, it was obvious the two of you were meant to be together. From the very first day you arrived. He went to New York for a reason. He may not have known it at the time, but it was destiny for you two to meet. Now, don’t you think you have left the poor man waiting long enough?”

  Kate turned to the woman who had offered her friendship and love from that first day she had arrived in Riverside Springs, disheveled and heartbroken after the sinking. Mary had made her eat and drink and sleep until she was convinced Kate wasn’t going to fade away on her. It was Mary who had convinced Kate to take on the job of teaching the children while their teacher, Mrs. Flynn, had her baby. Imagine her, Katie Maloney from Ballinasloe ending up as a teacher! She’d written to Nell to tell her, but she wasn’t sure if her adopted grandmother had gotten the letter prior to her death.

  She still had Nell�
�s last letter though. Nell had dictated the letter to Father Curry to write on her behalf. Kate smiled at the thoughts of the priest writing about love and feelings. Nell had consoled her over the loss of Daniel but congratulated her on deciding to let Sean Donnelly take care of her. Nell had confided Sean would make a much better match for Kate being that bit older and more mature. Kate pictured Sean walking across the meadow on his hands to make the school children laugh and wondered just how mature her husband to be was.

  Nell had also given vent to her feelings about Cathy. It seemed the news of Bridie’s treatment of her sister had spread through the whole parish and farther afield. Bridie would not be welcome any time soon should she decide she wanted to go home. Nell had written to say a memorial was going to be set up for the Burke family so that John, Margaret, Ruth, Niamh, and little Sean would always be remembered. Daniel and Seamus were also going to have their own marker.

  Nell had been thrilled with the money Kate had sent her and wrote to say she had bought a new warm shawl. Kate had asked Father Curry to pay the rent on Nell’s house for another three months, her intention being to keep the woman who’d raised her from the workhouse. At least Nell had died in her own home. Kate hadn’t wanted a penny compensation from the White Star Line. It didn’t feel right but Sean had insisted she take what was owed to her.

  “Send it to Nell if you don’t want it but don’t let those idiots have it,” he’d said. “You said you didn’t want Nell in the workhouse so you can use the money to prevent that happening. You don’t have to spend it on yourself.”

  She knew the money paid out for Daniel had gone back to Ireland to Mrs. Donnelly. Poor comfort for a woman who had lost so much already.

  “What are you thinking about, Kate?”

  She turned her attention back to Mary who looked a little concerned.

  “I was thinking of Nell, my adoptive grandmother, and how much she would have loved to see me get married.”

  Mary was on her knees fixing the hem of Kate’s gown. She spoke through the pins in her mouth. “She’s the lady who wrote to Sean?”