Memories of Heaven

by Melissa Storm

  Memories of Heaven

  The Memory Ranch Romances, Book 3

  Melissa Storm

  Kay P. Dawson

  © 2019, Partridge & Pear Press

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only; it may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient.

  Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author's imagination, or the author has used them fictitiously.

  Editor: Megan Harris

  Cover Designer: Mallory Rock

  Partridge & Pear Press

  PO Box 72

  Brighton, MI 48116

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Epilogue

  Also by Melissa Storm

  Also by Kay P. Dawson

  About Melissa Storm

  About Kay P. Dawson

  To all who cherish the irreplaceable memories of childhood

  Chapter 1

  Kate Griffin leaned her head against the cool glass window and watched the horses in the pen as they frolicked in the fresh snowfall. They playfully kicked the white powder over their backs and tossed their manes in delight as it sprinkled down onto their necks. Even from where she was sitting, Kate could practically feel the pure joy emanating from the animals.

  Smiling to herself, she wrapped her arms around her shivering body, all the while wishing she could be out there with them. Unfortunately, her work in the stables had been cut short for the day when her mother’s health took another sudden turn for the worse.

  Kate lifted her head from the glass and glanced toward the back of the cabin where she could see her mother sleeping on the bed. She’d left the door to the small bedroom open so she could keep an eye on her mom just in case.

  For the past few months, they’d been living together in one of the guest cabins at Memory Ranch, a memory care and therapy center outside of Anchorage. Here, Kate worked as a stable hand, and her mother underwent treatment for early onset Alzheimer’s disease. Initially, Kate had obtained the job as a way of checking out the facilities firsthand to see if they’d be a good fit for her mother’s increasingly heavy needs. It didn’t take long to realize it was exactly what they both needed.

  The disease had snuck up on both of them. One day her mother was fine, and the next she was forgetting increasingly big details of their lives. Kate didn’t have time to adapt to the news, and her mom didn’t have the capacity to fully understand it. Always a sharp-witted woman, the sudden memory decline frustrated her to tears most days. For her part, Kate prayed that the day would come soon when her mother didn’t remember enough to know she was forgetting.

  Of course, that would mean she’d lost the last remnants of herself, too, but at least she wouldn’t be afraid or in pain any longer.

  Now that they had settled into the life at the ranch, Kate saw how her mother was receiving the care she needed from the special therapists who were trained to work with people who suffered from memory trauma. And hopefully they could help her, too, as she came to terms with what was happening with her mom.

  Turning back to watch the horses playing in the snow, Kate sighed, her breath fogging the window. She let her mind wander back to before everything in her world had fallen apart. Before they’d ever heard the diagnosis.

  All her life, it had just been Kate and her mom. Her father had run out when she was just a baby and hadn’t been seen since. Truthfully, Kate didn’t even care. Anyone who could abandon their family wasn’t anyone she wanted to know.

  Her mom stepped up to play the role of both parents and had done a phenomenal job. They’d never had much, but her mom had worked hard to make sure they had enough to get by. For many years, her mother had worked as part of the cleaning staff at a ranch in Palmer, Alaska, and Kate had spent many of her earliest days watching the horses and wishing she might someday have one of her own.

  Of course, they’d never had enough money to buy one for her—or the space to put one up in their modest apartment. Still, Kate had been content to claim the horses on the ranch as her pets, her friends, and her confidantes.

  To this day, she still dreamed of having a horse to call her own, but for now she counted working at this ranch, where she could be around horses all day and still be able to care for her mom, as a massive blessing.

  Kate felt blessed for the opportunity, but her heart still cried out in pain at the unfairness of what her mother’s life had become. After everything her mom had been through—being left to care for and raise a child on her own, struggling to make ends meet and never taking time for herself—now the very essence of who she was slowly being stolen from her.

  And her disease was moving fast, leaving a shell in place of the woman who’d given Kate her everything—the strong, beautiful woman who had always been her best friend, her cheerleader, and her rock.

  The doctors had road-mapped how the disease was most likely to progress and the corresponding issues they would face at each stage. However, none of it had prepared Kate for the emotional strain that came with watching her mother forget even the simplest of things or witness her personality changing practically overnight.

  At least through it all, so far, she still remembered Kate.

  That awful day would come, though. And soon.

  Kate’s stomach churned in agony from the mere thought of becoming a stranger to the person she loved most in this entire world. She would never be ready.

  How was she going to live without the one person who loved her beyond reason and who she loved in turn with her whole heart, too? How could she go on with life when so many of her formative memories—the moments that made her her—were rapidly being erased from memory?

  Kate reached up to wipe away the tear that slid down her cheek. So many tears had been shed, but the well hadn’t yet dried up.

  In the pen, Buddy, the beautiful, kind-hearted tan horse, stopped running and looked over toward the cabin window where she sat, seeming to feel her emotions himself. How she wished she could go hop on his back and ride away from everything that was happening in her life.

  But her mom needed her, and this was where she had to be. She would give all of herself until there was nothing left to give, and no one left to give it to.

  “Kate? Are you there?” came her mother’s small and scared voice.

  Kate quickly turned and walked to the room. “I’m here, Mom. I was just watching the horses playing outside. Did you have a good rest?” she asked as she knelt down at her mom’s bedside.

  Her mom sat up, pushing the warm quilt away. Her quiet smile was filled with warmth, and her eyes sparkled with an untold joy. Briefly, Kate wondered how long until that was gone, too.

  She nodded. “I did.”

  They each sighed and then laughed at this unexpected synchronicity. It had been a joke they
’d shared growing up, that their minds were telepathically linked—so similar they were then. Did this mean it was only a matter of time before Kate’s memories began to fade, too?

  Her mother was the first to sober from this rare bout of laughter. She frowned as she traced the wrinkles in her night dress with a shaky finger. “I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. It wasn’t fair. I know you’re only doing what’s best for me. It’s just hard for me to accept sometimes.”

  When Kate had been called away from work earlier, it had been to collect her mother who’d wandered outside and was yelling at one of the other guests, wanting to know what he was doing in “her” yard. Mother and daughter had fought as Kate brought her back into their cabin and struggled to explain their situation yet again.

  Although Kate had remained calm and kind, her mother’s barbs stung deep. She tried to remind herself that the cruel accusations weren’t coming from her mom, but from the disease that had taken over her mom’s body.

  Now that they were both more rested, everything seemed to revert to their old normal. But Kate knew it wouldn’t last long. Already the time between bad spells had shrunk at a shocking pace. Eventually the lucid periods would disappear altogether.

  Kate sat down beside her mom on the bed and reached a hand toward hers. Her mother, who had always seemed so big and strong, was now sitting there looking incredibly frail—as if her memories weren’t the only part of her fading into oblivion.

  Even with her reduced capacity, she still loved Kate as best she could. And she tried so hard to protect her from what was coming and what had already arrived.

  Even in her worst, she wanted Kate to be taken care of.

  “It’s okay, Mom. Don’t worry about it. All I want is for you to know how much I love you,” she said, squeezing her mother’s hand and offering a beleaguered smile. “If there’s something you should never ever forget, it’s that.” The words threatened to crack as they left Kate’s lips. There would come a time when even this indisputable fact would no longer be remembered.

  Kate sat there for a long time, holding her mom tightly as each woman did her best to not let the other know she was crying, both wishing they could keep holding on to each other forever. Of course, Kate knew that someday she would have to let go. But for now, she was going to enjoy every precious moment she could wrapped tight in her mother’s arms.

  Chapter 2

  Kate woke up the next day surrounded by darkness. Of course, winter in Alaska meant you were normally waking up in darkness and then going to bed in darkness, too. This had never really bothered her before, but these days she viewed everything through the lens of her mother’s illness. How would she handle the dark in the winter? Or for that matter, the sun all summer?

  She dressed quickly, mentally bracing herself for the possibility that her mother would wake up confused again. Instead, she opened her mom’s door to find her dressed and reading a thick paperback book.

  “Good morning, sleepy head,” her mom called out. “Are you ready to head up to the big house?” The main ranch estate where the owners, Elizabeth Jane and Dorian lived, also hosted their meals and other shared events in their day-to-day lives.

  “Sure am. Are you ready for me to come to therapy with you?” Kate asked as she grabbed their coats from the hooks by the front door.

  Her mother stepped out into the cold morning air before accepting her jacket and shivered. “No, I think you should just head to the stables.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you this time?” Kate asked, pulling her gloves on as she walked beside her mom along the path to the main house. Besides the big dining area, the beautiful, old farmhouse had also been lovingly converted into multiple therapy rooms and rehabilitation stations.

  The therapist who oversaw Kate’s mom’s care came out from his practice in Anchorage three times a week to hold sessions for the guests. He was a specialist for patients with memory disorders and had been working with her mother for several weeks. Kate didn’t know much about what took place during the sessions—only that they differed from the occupational therapy her mother had no qualms about inviting her to attend.

  “Not this time,” her mom said, tucking her hands into her pockets after finally shrugging on her coat. “But Doctor Jack says I’m going to have to let you start coming to our sessions soon.” She sighed heavily. “I know there are things you need to deal with, too, but right now I still feel like I need to be on my own. I hope you can understand.”

  Kate looped her arm through her mother’s as they continued their journey toward the big house. The last part of the season was always the worst of the winter, making the short walk a hazardous one. Soon breakup would be upon them, heralding the beginning of spring, but today the air hung cold and thick around them. At least the day’s forecast called for sunshine, which meant they might get a little extra warmth when it finally shone down on the cold ground below.

  When they’d crossed the most slippery part of the path, Kate said, “I understand, Mom, don’t worry. As long as therapy is helping you, don’t worry about me. Right now, you’re the one who needs to be cared for.”

  “That’s not true, and you know it. You need to be cared for just as much as I do.” Her mother’s voice shook as she scolded her daughter. “I can see how much this is wearing you down, too. Please promise me you will take care of you first and foremost. I know the day will come that I won’t be myself anymore and I won’t be able to tell you to do things as a mother, so I need you to remember me saying it to you now. Don’t forget to look after yourself. You are the priority.”

  Kate swallowed the lump in her throat and gave her mom a brave smile. “I will. I promise.” She hoped the words would convince her mom, even though she wasn’t sure she agreed with them. How could she worry about herself when it was her mom who was losing everything?

  They walked up the front steps onto the large veranda and quickly opened the door to get in from the wet cold outside. A long coat rack hung beside the entryway, and Kate helped her mother out of the jacket she’d only just put on a few minutes prior. As she was struggling with the zipper on her own coat, her mother’s therapist, Jack Young, appeared from the back with a warm smile stretched across his face.

  Kate had seen him around the ranch quite a few times since she’d begun working here, and he had always extended a smile and a friendly greeting. Every time she saw him, her heart did a little somersault. It frustrated her to know she might have a school-girl crush on her mother’s therapist, especially since this wasn’t really the time to be getting all lovey-eyes with anyone. She needed to focus on her mom and on spending as much time with her as possible.

  The last thing she needed was a man intruding on whatever little time they had left.

  “Hi, Nancy! Kate.” He nodded a greeting to her, and she found herself holding her breath when he looked directly into her eyes. The smile on his face caused his eyes to crinkle around the edges, and a slight dimple peeked out under the shadow of his whiskers. As long as she’d known him, she’d never seen Jack completely clean shaven. He always had just a hint of a neatly trimmed five o’clock shadow dusting his chin and cheeks.

  His dark hair was neatly swept back, except for a small curl that seemed to fall forward on its own accord. Kate found it completely adorable and immediately her cheeks started to burn as she realized she was now staring at that errant curl with a dreamy smile on her face as he continued to speak to her mom.

  He probably thought she was the one who should be coming to therapy the way she was standing there staring at him like some kind of uncultured nitwit.

  “Are you staying today?” he asked her with what almost looked like a hopeful glance. “I’ve told your mom that she’s going to need you to start coming to at least some of her sessions, too, since you’re her caregiver. Not to mention you’re her daughter and I know the situation has to be difficult for you to navigate through, too.”

  Kate’s heart skipped a beat as hi
s deep voice rumbled in her ear.

  Knock it off, Kate! He’s a professional therapist working with your mother and that’s what you should be focusing on right now!

  She swallowed hard, groping for an answer. “No…um, no. Mom said she’d like another session alone. But maybe next time.”

  Why is my voice trembling? She hoped he couldn’t discern her relief at being able to avoid him for at least one more day. Even though she knew she had to take part in a joint session—and wanted to on her mother’s account—she didn’t look forward to spending so much time discussing the most intimate details of her life with Jack.

  Sometimes she felt it was just easier to pretend nothing had changed, that one day her mother would wake up and be back to her normal, zany self. Even as she watched her mom’s health decline daily, she still held onto that sliver of impossible hope. Hearing the cold, hard truth from a man she felt inexplicably enamored of would be a double slap to the face.

  She wasn’t ready for that.

  Besides, stalling her attendance at therapy for one more day wasn’t going to hurt anyone.

  “That’s fine. As long as you’re not just trying to avoid me.” He chuckled, giving her a playful pat on the shoulder.

  Kate’s stomach knotted and for a moment she wondered if she was going to be sick, but then Jack put his professional face back on and the butterflies winging around in her stomach finally took a rest.

  “I’ll walk your mom back to your cabin when we’re finished so you can go back to work, or whatever you were doing,” he said, his fleeting grin lighting up the room once more.