Man vs. Beast

by Robert Muchamore

Mac had booked a table in a swanky restaurant at Piccadilly Circus, but the kids arrived to find a message telling them not to wait around: the Prime Minister was running behind schedule and Zara and Mac were going to have lunch with him.

  The crowd was mostly business people in suits and the kids got odd looks as the waiter took them past a spectacular waterfall bar to a window table well away from all the other diners. It looked down eight storeys on to the bustle of shoppers and tourists in the paved square below.

  ‘Glad I’m not paying,’ James said, as he read down a list of main courses, the cheapest of which was twenty-one pounds.

  In the end, James and Kyle both satisfied their meat cravings with thirty-five quid’s worth of rib-eye steak and French fries, while Lauren ordered roast vegetables in peanut butter sauce.

  ‘You’re really serious about this whole veggie deal, aren’t you?’ James said, as the waiter put their meals down on the table. ‘You’re gonna end up pasty and thin, like all the other vegetarians.’

  ‘Shut up and eat your dead cow,’ Lauren tutted. ‘If you think that a giant slab of red meat is going to be better for you than what I’m eating, you’re even stupider than I thought.’

  ‘Hey,’ Kyle said firmly. ‘This is supposed to be our day off. So how about I get a day off from you two digging at each other and we change the subject?’

  ‘How’s your chest today?’ Lauren asked.

  James shrugged. ‘Bit stiff, that’s all. I told Zara it was nothing. Eight hours we sat around in that hospital and I ended up with a bottle of painkillers that she could have picked up in the village shop.’

  ‘Better safe than sorry though,’ Lauren said.

  ‘I suppose,’ James shrugged, as he watched a pigeon land on the window ledge outside.

  ‘I wonder how Zara’s getting on,’ Kyle said. ‘It must be so weird meeting someone that important. Especially for a job interview.’

  ‘It sounded like she was hurling up in the toilet this morning,’ James said.

  ‘Morning sickness,’ Lauren giggled, as she bit a roast parsnip off her fork. ‘Maybe she’s pregnant as well.’

  ‘I always get the worst diarrhoea when I’m nervous about anything,’ Kyle said.

  James started to laugh. ‘Isn’t this nice? We come to a swanky restaurant in the middle of London, we order a hundred quid’s worth of food and drink and sit at the table talking about puking and crapping.’

  ‘You know what?’ Lauren said. ‘I wish I’d bought those camouflage trousers now. Do you reckon we’ll have time to go back?’

  ‘No way,’ James said firmly. ‘I know what you’re like. We’ll spend half an hour traipsing back to the shop and when we arrive you’ll try them on and change your mind again.’

  ‘When would I ever do that?’ Lauren said, grinning mischievously.

  ‘Besides, I don’t want a camouflage-wearing vegetarian for a sister.’

  ‘If you don’t shut it I’ll dye my hair black again.’

  ‘I thought your hair looked nice when it was black,’ Mac said.

  The three youngsters had been looking out of the window and hadn’t noticed Mac and Zara being led to their table. The waiter asked if they needed anything as they sat down.

  ‘We’ll wait for the kids to finish their main courses,’ Zara said. ‘Would you mind fetching us some dessert menus? Then we can all have dessert and coffee together.’

  The waiter nodded efficiently and walked away.

  ‘So?’ Lauren said, once he was out of earshot.

  ‘It was good,’ Zara said, checking that there was nobody within listening distance before breaking into a grin.

  ‘I was at Geoff Cox’s interview yesterday and it was very formal,’ Mac explained. ‘He spoke with the ministers about schools and education policy and a little bit about his time in the intelligence service.

  ‘Zara’s interview was totally different. The PM was hooked when she told him about the mission she was working on and how you two boys infiltrated the AFA before anyone had ever heard of it. He even asked Zara about her family and ended up looking at pictures of Tiffany and Joshua. After sitting through both interviews, I’m confident that Zara has nailed it.’

  ‘Way to go!’ James grinned. ‘Just remember that you and I are old mates when you’re dishing out the punishments.’

  ‘No special treatment,’ Zara said, shaking her head. ‘You’ll just have to behave yourself. Besides, I know it went well, but I’m not popping any champagne corks until I’ve got a letter of confirmation in my hand.’

  The waiter strode purposefully across to the table and handed out five dessert menus. James was pigged out from his steak, but couldn’t resist a look.

  ‘Steamed chocolate pudding with blood orange compôte,’ James grinned. ‘I’ve got to have a go at that.’

  ‘So, it’s a big day for you boys tomorrow,’ Mac said. ‘I’ll be taking a keen interest in how you get on.’

  ‘So will the Prime Minister,’ Zara added. ‘He asked the intelligence minister to make sure he gets a briefing on how it goes.’

  Lauren noticed the uncomfortable look on her brother’s face and made a de-dum, de-dum sound, like a heart beating. ‘Feeling the pressure James?’

  Kyle laughed as he wrapped an arm around James’ back. ‘We’re not worried, are we, mate? All we’ve got to do is travel to some unknown location, foil some unknown plan and bring down a well armed, well funded and highly dangerous terrorist group.’

  ‘And make sure nobody gets hurt in the process,’ James said.

  Mac laughed as Lauren started doing the heartbeat noise again. James put his arm around Kyle’s back and pulled him in tight.

  ‘You know what I think, Kyle?’ James asked, as he grinned at his best friend.

  ‘What?’ Kyle asked.

  ‘I think we’re totally screwed.’

  29. PICKUP

  Jo called Kyle on Tuesday night and it looked like the AFA intended to keep security tight. The boys were told to wear accurate watches and set them to the correct time before leaving. They were asked to wear ordinary casual clothes and carry one small bag or backpack. The packs were supposed to contain one change of clothes, a towel, a small quantity of personal toiletries and – optionally – one book or magazine which Jo said should be suitable for reading on a long journey. IPods, mobiles, or any other forms of electronic gadget that might contain a hidden listening device were banned.

  The pickup point was the dilapidated barn where they’d met up with Zebra Alliance activists before vandalising the police cars a month earlier. James and Kyle noticed Tom’s MG as they approached and found the two lads around the back, squatting on the edge of an upturned water trough.

  Kyle stepped up and gave Tom a long kiss. Viv gave James an almighty slap on the back, his trademark greeting for anyone he liked.

  ‘Hey, cop killer, long time no see,’ Viv said, before looking across at Kyle and Tom. ‘I know what you’re thinking, kid. I mean, how can that possibly be better than what I got up to last night with Sophie?’

  James started to crack up laughing. ‘So how’s your arse?’

  ‘Fully recovered,’ Viv said. ‘I was really pissed off to miss the action on Monday. Tom said it was an amazing night.’

  ‘Certainly wasn’t dull,’ James smirked, as a horn blasted on the other side of the barn.

  The boys wandered around the front to see a long-wheelbase van rolling up the drive. A woman in sunglasses stepped out of the cab and James realised it was the one who called herself Jo the second she opened her mouth. She wore combat trousers and judging by the bulge, there was a handgun tucked into them.

  ‘Hey boys,’ she said. ‘You must know how this works by now, so step into the barn and start stripping off your clothes.’

  Another woman had climbed out the passenger side of the van. She was in her twenties, good looking, with red cheeks. James thought she looked like the sort of girl who’d settle down and squirt out half a dozen kids.

&n
bsp; *

  Adelaide Kent, Lauren thought, almost dropping her camera in shock.

  Lauren was staked out in the bushes twenty metres from the barn. She wasn’t invisible, but you’d have had to look hard to see her and if she was caught she could push the matchbox-sized digital camera down the back of her underwear and pretend to be nothing more than a kid sister sticking her nose where it didn’t belong.

  As James, Kyle, Tom and Viv stepped into the barn to be searched by the two women, Lauren crept up through the bushes until she was directly in line with the rear of the van. She could easily be spotted from this distance, but it was the only way she’d get a shot inside the van when the rear doors opened.

  She flipped the tiny camera into video mode, propped it on a branch and tied it into position with the neck strap. When this was done, she dashed back to her original spot and slid a tiny remote out of her pocket.

  James was the first to emerge a couple of minutes later. He pulled down his tracksuit bottoms and started peeing against the side of the barn. By the time he’d finished, the others were heading towards the rear of the van. Lauren hit record on the remote as Jo opened the rear doors.

  *

  ‘Looks comfy,’ James grinned, as he stepped into the back of the van. There were cushions and beanbags piled up inside the long metal box. There were no windows in the back or sides, so they wouldn’t know where they were going, but the vehicle had started life as a security van and the escape hatch in the roof had been ripped out to let in fresh air and light.

  The only other person in the back of the van had made himself comfortable, stripped down to his shorts and sprawling over two beanbags. He looked about twenty years old.

  ‘I’m Jay,’ he said, touching fists with the four new arrivals as Jo slammed the back doors and plunged them into gloom.

  Once they’d all settled in, Jay put on The Beatles’ white album and offered everyone a choice of Coke or mineral water from a cooler box.

  ‘You better appreciate the music,’ Jay grinned. ‘I waged war to bring this boom box – I told the girls there was no way I was sitting in a van for four hours staring at metal.’

  ‘You couldn’t read for that long,’ Kyle said. ‘Especially in this light.’

  The long wheelbase gave all five lads space to stretch out and James got comfortable on a big cushion, with a smaller one propped behind his head. He was nervous about the next forty-eight hours, but Tom, Viv, Jay and Kyle all started chatting and he found it hard not to pick up the buzz of five young men going on an adventure.

  The only trouble was, it was high summer and they were trapped inside a poorly ventilated, metal-sided box. By the time they reached the motorway, everyone had copied Jay and stripped down to their shorts.

  *

  Lauren gave the van a minute to clear the area around the barn, before grabbing the camera and sprinting off across the fields towards the cottage. Zara was waiting at the kitchen table with her laptop open.

  ‘What did you get?’

  ‘I took pictures,’ Lauren gasped. ‘More important, I recognised one of them: Adelaide Kent, from when we rescued Meatball. She seemed so gentle with the dogs and putting her little sisters to bed and that …’

  ‘You should know better than to judge people based upon one meeting,’ Zara cautioned, as she wired Lauren’s camera up to the laptop. She copied the whole lot on to the hard drive and e-mailed the pictures to CHERUB campus before taking a look herself.

  ‘Run the video,’ Lauren said. ‘I wonder if we’ll be able to make out anything inside the van.’

  Windows Media Player popped up on screen. The first few seconds of picture were washed out, as the little camera adjusted its exposure settings from the sunlight reflecting off the back of the van to its gloomy interior.

  The next bit showed legs and bums as the boys clambered into the van, but Lauren finally spotted something useful as they settled on to their cushions.

  ‘That’s Jay,’ Lauren said, tapping the screen. ‘Adelaide’s boyfriend.’

  ‘Can you remember his surname?’

  ‘Buckle, like a belt,’ Lauren nodded.

  ‘Good stuff, Lauren. Hopefully the names and the picture of the mysterious Jo will help us fit together a picture of the AFA.’

  Ryan had taken to spending all of his mornings in bed and was heading into the kitchen, dressed in a set of striped pyjama bottoms.

  ‘Morning,’ he said, reaching into the fridge and grabbing the carton of orange juice. ‘Did I overhear you talking about Jay and Adelaide?’

  ‘Eww,’ Lauren gasped. ‘Don’t drink out of the carton, Ryan. You’re as bad as James.’

  Ryan grinned as he grabbed a glass out of the cupboard, but Zara’s tone was serious. ‘James and Kyle went for their pickup and Lauren positively identified Adelaide Kent.’

  ‘You’re kidding me,’ Ryan said, his eyebrows shooting up so fast that Lauren thought they might fly clean off his head.

  Zara tapped her pen on the screen. ‘Look for yourself.’

  ‘She’s my god-daughter,’ Ryan gasped. ‘The stupid, stupid little girl. Do you know where they’re going?’

  ‘No idea,’ Lauren shrugged. ‘Do you think Anna and Miranda might be involved too?’

  ‘I doubt it,’ Ryan said. ‘Then again, if you’d said Adelaide was involved ten minutes ago I would have said you were off your trolley. Jay seemed like a nice young fellow too. He’s studying film and television at university with Adelaide. He was telling me all about a work placement he was doing on a big car-chase movie.’

  ‘Eh?’ Lauren gasped. ‘Where are they making the movie?’

  ‘He didn’t say, but there’s a big studio complex near Bath, it’s probably out there.’

  Zara looked at Lauren. ‘What are you getting at?’

  ‘Well,’ Lauren said, ‘for a big car-chase movie, they’ve got to be wrecking, modifying and painting lots of cars for stunts and stuff. So, what if Jay got some of the dudes working there to modify the Rapid Trak van that James and Kyle took up to Wrexham the other night?’

  ‘I’ve heard worse theories,’ Zara said, as she tapped Bath film studio into Google. ‘Got it,’ she said, reading from her laptop screen. ‘Currently filming at Walker Studios near Bath, Wild Ride II is the sequel to the surprise hit of summer 2004. This time the gang plot to steal the crown jewels from the Tower of London using a fleet of antique racing cars …’

  ‘It’s got to be worth checking out,’ Lauren said.

  Zara nodded. ‘I’ll pass the information along to campus and one of our research assistants can start digging.’

  30. COOKS

  The five lads tried making the best of a van ride that took up most of the day: listening to Jay’s CDs, talking about life and fighting the heat by drinking endless Cokes and bottles of mineral water. Jo had scheduled a single toilet stop in an unidentifiable field, but as the second half of the journey dragged on she refused to make another even though the lads were all busting.

  Viv’s solution was to piss into an Evian bottle and lob it out through the hatch in the roof. James cracked up laughing and couldn’t resist the urge to copy. Seconds later, the boys got thrown around as the van stopped abruptly at the side of the road.

  ‘Which one of you idiots did that?’ Jo steamed, as she ripped open the back door of the van.

  James sheepishly raised a finger.

  ‘Then you’re a stupid little prick,’ Jo spluttered. ‘We’re not heading to summer camp, you know. What would have happened if that bottle hit another car? What if someone pulled our numberplate and the cops stop us further up the road?’

  Viv butted in angrily. ‘Hey, Miss High ’n’ Mighty, it’s OK for you, sitting up there in air-conditioning. We’re cooking back here. We’ve been drinking gallons and I’ve asked for another toilet break loads of times.’

  Jo swiped the gun out of her trousers and pointed it at Viv’s head. ‘I’m not stopping you from peeing in the bottle, moron. But there’s no
need to throw it out through the roof. Was it you that threw the first one?’

  ‘What, are you gonna shoot me for urinating?’

  Jo clearly wasn’t used to being backchatted. She jumped inside the van, clicked off the safety and pushed the gun against Viv’s head. ‘If you balls this operation up, I’ll ram this gun in your mouth and spray your brains over the nearest wall.’

  ‘Hey, hey, hey,’ Kyle said, raising his hands. ‘We’re all hot, we’re all bored and this is just a misunderstanding. So let’s calm down, eh?’

  ‘We’re all on the same team,’ Tom added.

  ‘I’ve got my eye on you, Viv,’ Jo snarled, as she slid the gun back into her trousers.

  ‘Join the queue. A lot of women have their eyes on me,’ he responded, though James thought he looked uncharacteristically subdued.

  Jo shook her head with contempt as she jumped off the back of the van and punished the boys’ eardrums by slamming the door as hard as she could.

  Tom scowled as he whispered to Viv, ‘These are serious people. Are you ever gonna learn when to keep your trap shut?’

  Viv was rattled and made a pathetic attempt to disguise it.

  ‘I can handle myself,’ he sneered, sounding like an eight-year-old who’d just lost a fight.

  *

  Zara came off a twenty-minute phone call and wandered out to the back garden. Meatball was allowed outdoors now that he’d had his vaccinations and was celebrating his newfound freedom by licking bugs off a tree trunk. Lauren sat in a sun lounger reading a book called The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Beagles.

  ‘So, what’s the news?’ Lauren asked.

  ‘MI5 identified Jo from your photograph. Her real name is Rhiannon Jules. She’s the daughter of Joe Jules.’

  This last name was clearly intended to mean something, but Lauren didn’t have a clue.

  ‘Before your time, I guess,’ Zara grinned. ‘Joe Jules was a singer-songwriter. Shot down by Los Angeles police during a cocaine bust in eighty-two. Rhiannon is his only daughter and his albums still sell, so you can bet she’s worth a few bob.’

  ‘Enough to fund the AFA?’