by Susan Gable
He broke into a broad grin. Had to give it to his kid. She knew what she wanted, and what she didn't. "Yes?"
"What are you gonna be for Halloween?"
"I hadn't thought about it. Am I supposed to have a costume?"
She nodded. "Everybody gots to have a costume. First we do trunk or treat, then we have a party."
"You mean trick or treat."
"No." She shook her head. "I mean trunk or treat. So, what will you be?"
"What are you going to be?"
"I wanna be Dorothy." She frowned. "But I want a real Toto, and Momma says no dogs 'cause guests might be 'lergic. Maybe you could be a dog? But you're too big to be Toto."
"Well, I don't know. I'm not crazy about costumes."
Sarah murmured something low under her breath. He wasn't sure, but it sounded like … stuffing pants?
The door to the truck creaked open and Lexie jumped back in, a bottle of water in her hand. She propped her purse on her knees and dug in it, pulling out a small green bottle. "Here we go." She downed two capsules, then recapped the water. "Much better. Let's go get some pumpkins now."
David put the truck in gear and pulled away from the curb. "We were discussing Halloween costumes and trunk or treat. You want to explain that one to me?"
Lexie laughed, sending warmth cascading through him. "People are so spread out that trick or treating is kind of tough. So we do trunk or treat. Everyone decorates the trunk of their car or the bed of a pickup, and we all gather in the parking lot of the firehall. The kids go from vehicle to vehicle to get their treats. Then there's a potluck supper and a dance inside the hall to benefit the new fire truck fund."
"That's different."
She nodded. "It is. But it's a lot of fun. Being part of a community like this is wonderful." She sighed. "I love it here."
"Does that mean you don't want to come back to Erie?"
"Where's Ernie?" Sarah asked.
"Erie. It's where I live," David said. "Where your momma lived before you were born."
Lexie stared at him over Sarah's head, eyes wide. He knew it was the first time he'd referred to her as his daughter's momma.
"Is it nice? Does Ernie have mountains?" Sarah pointed at the snowcapped peaks in the distance.
"No. There's some not too far away in New York State. Actually, the highest point near Erie is the garbage dump."
"Eeewww," Sarah said. "Garbage is not pretty like mountains."
David laughed. "Actually, when you cover it with snow, you'd never know it's garbage. They cover it with dirt all the time anyway."
"What else?"
"There's the lake," Lexie said. "Talk about humongous. Lake Erie is really big. And there are beautiful sunsets."
"And there's an amusement park and stores and theater and a zoo." David felt like a travelogue for Erie. "You'll like it a lot."
"I'm going there?"
"Look, there's Mr. Harvey's farm! We're here." Lexie pointed out the window and David guided the truck to a parking place, feeling like she'd conjured the place just when she'd needed it. At some point they had to explain to Sarah exactly what was going to happen.
But maybe Lexie's instincts were right. Not yet. Not when Sarah was just warming to him, and when Lexie hadn't agreed to marry him.
It turned out that humongous, like beauty, was in the eye of the beholder. Or in this case, the arms of the holder. Sarah had hers stretched as far as they would go around her pumpkin and she staggered toward the porch with it. Hands out, Lexie stayed nearby, ready to avert disaster should the pumpkin slip.
The day had cleared and the afternoon sun beat down onto the leaf-littered yard, illuminating the red highlights in Sarah's hair—and the chestnut ones in Lexie's. A sense of peace filled David. His daughter. And, if she'd go along with it, his wife. The idea of marrying again, as long as it was Lexie, didn't scare him at all. No way there'd be any ugly surprises with Lexie like there had been with Angela. He'd known Lexie darn near her whole life.
"Bring the cornstalks to the front porch," she yelled to him. "And the other pumpkins, too, okay?"
"You got it!"
They spent the afternoon tying bunches of cornstalks to the porch supports, and painting faces on some of the pumpkins. Even Mr. J. painted one, a tiny pumpkin he decorated with a goofy purple grin and green hair that earned him a giggle from Sarah.
She held up a dripping red paintbrush. "There. He's done."
"Does he have chicken pox?" Marc asked from his perch against the porch railing.
Sarah shook her head.
"Bet I know what they are," David said. "They're angel kisses, right?"
The smile she beamed at him once more had him melting into a puddle of absolute mush. A lethal weapon, that's what that smile was. She could convince him to do just about anything with it.
Daddy Lesson #3: Do not, repeat not, let the child know how powerful her smile is.
"What's an angel kiss?" Mr. J. asked from the wicker swing, his arm draped around his wife's shoulders.
"This." Sarah fingered her cheek. "David says the angels kissed me before I was born."
David says … for once, it wasn't Momma says. Nope, it was David says. He didn't even mind he hadn't progressed to Daddy yet.
"Aww," said Mrs. J. "That's sweet."
Lexie grunted as she came out the front door, a trayful of mugs in her hands. "No, this is sweet. Who wants some special hot chocolate?"
"Me, me!" Sarah rushed over as Lexie set the tray on a white wicker table and passed out mugs.
"Why is it special?" David accepted a cup with a heart-shaped handle and a teddy bear on it.
"Best hot chocolate you've ever had," she said confidently. "Whipped cream, shaved chocolate garnish. Go on, try it."
He sipped the drink, enjoying the burn of the rich liquid, the sweetness of the cream and chocolate. "Not bad. Probably won't replace coffee with me, but not bad."
Her gaze fastened on his mouth. Warmth spread through him that had nothing to do with the hot chocolate and everything to do with her. "What?"
"You've got a whipped-cream mustache." She smiled, raising her index finger and stroking it over his upper lip. Then she popped the fingertip into her mouth. "Mmm … sweet."
"Lexie," he said softly. The urge to pull her into his arms and taste her sweetness nearly short-circuited his reasoning capacity. But her family was here. He closed his eyes but it didn't make the temptation go away.
"What about me?" Marc called. "Don't I get any?"
"Sure you do. I've got one with a worm in the bottom of the mug just for you."
"Momma!" Sarah sounded scandalized. "Really?"
Lexie laughed and David opened his eyes to watch the joy fill her face. "No, baby, not really, but it would serve him right for some of the stunts he pulled on me when I was a little girl."
"Hey, yeah." Sarah set her mug on the table, then propped her fists on her hips. "You took Momma's doll. You were mean to her."
"That's what brothers do, kiddo."
"Then I'm glad I don't got a brother."
"They're not all bad, honey. They have their good uses, too." Lexie passed Marc a cup, then patted him on the cheek. "They protect you from bullies, teach you humility and your place in the grand scheme of things and bring home cute friends."
David didn't catch what Marc mumbled under his breath, but he could guess it had something to do with wishing he'd never brought David home with him.
"Stop it," Lexie said quietly. "He's her father. Mind your mouth."
For a long moment the siblings stared at one another. The only sounds were the light rustle of the leaves in the breeze and the creak of the swing's chain as it gently swayed to and fro. Lexie's parents watched their kids with amused expressions.
David wouldn't have missed their youngest putting the oldest in his place for anything.
Marc finally inclined his head. "Sorry, sis."
David raised his mug to her in gratitude and acknowledgment of her victo
ry. What exactly did her defending him mean? Was she considering his proposal?
He couldn't wait to get her alone to find out.
Lexie slipped from Sarah's room into the hallway, enjoying the quiet of the house. With the little girl asleep, maybe Lexie could take some time to sort out the events of the crazy day. Light shone underneath David's door, his keyboard clicking away as he worked on some program, no doubt.
She clenched her teeth at the memory of his proposal. Logical, methodical, all planned out, it galled her to know that marriage to her was something he viewed as a "way to debug the glitches" in his life.
The sounds of the piano floated up the stairs, making her jaw relax into a smile. She eased down the steps, stopping at the entrance to the living room. Hiding in the shadows of the archway, she watched her father's fingers caress the keys. Her mother sat beside him, her face raptly concentrating on her husband. The haunting melody "Somewhere Out There" filled the room.
Lexie blinked back tears. The song and the movie it came from had been a favorite of hers as a child.
"He's hardly played at all since we lost you. That's one of the few pieces he would," Marc whispered from behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest, resting his chin on the top of her head. "He held on to that song like a magic spell that would bring you back home to us."
Would it break her father's heart to know his little girl no longer believed in dreams coming true, or magic?
"We've missed you, Lex."
She gripped his forearms, hugging herself tighter into his embrace. "I missed all of you, too."
Her mother rubbed circles on her father's back. When he stopped playing, he turned to her. "I told you to keep the faith, that we'd see her again."
Her mom's smile quivered. "Yes, you did."
Her dad pulled her into his arms, rocked her, then lowered his head and kissed her.
Lexie's heart ached—for the pain she'd caused her family, with envy of the love her parents shared and for the uncertainty of her future.
She pushed Marc backward. "I feel like I'm intruding. Let's go in the library." Untangling herself from his embrace, she took his hand and led him across the foyer. She clicked on the small red-domed light that sat on the end table. The leather sofa crackled as she sank onto it. "Sit," she told her brother. "Let's talk."
"If I talk, li'l sis, are you going to listen?" He chose the oversize chair across from her.
"I suppose that depends on what you want to talk about, big brother." She infused as much sarcasm into the final words as possible.
"How can you possibly trust him? After he wouldn't listen to you?"
Lexie shrugged. "At this point, I don't have much of a choice, Marc. David is Sarah's father. He's trying really hard with her. He has all the rights. I have none. I suppose I should be grateful he didn't decide to press charges and have me hauled off to jail."
"Jail." Marc scowled. "How do you feel about the whole Angela thing now?"
Her cheeks warmed. "I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm … relieved that she's dead."
"That's it, just relieved? Doesn't it make you even madder at David that he didn't believe you, and your fears were justified?"
"Justified? What do you mean?"
Marc stared at her for a long moment, then he exhaled deeply, sinking back into the chair. He cursed under his breath. "You don't know the whole story, do you?"
"What story? I know Angela's dead. David said they were already divorced when it happened, but I didn't want to pry. He didn't seem like he wanted to talk about it. I know he loved her." Yes, he'd loved Angela. But he "cared about" her. That realization stung.
"Angela died in jail, Lexie. Another inmate murdered her. They don't like baby killers in prison."
"B-baby killers? Marc, what are you saying?"
He leaned forward in the chair, reaching for her hand. "I'm saying you were right about Angela all along. She probably did kill her first baby. She was awaiting trial for the murder of her new husband's first grandchild when somebody saved the taxpayers some money by doing her in."
Cold crept through her, making the hair on the back of her arms stand up and her hands go numb. She wiggled her fingers but couldn't feel her brother's reassuring grip. "She—she killed another child?"
He nodded. "The evidence seemed to say so."
"Ohmigod." Lexie shot to her feet, freeing her hand. "That means…"
"That means you did the right thing by running away," Marc said. "You saved that little girl's life by keeping her away from Angela."
Lexie darted out of the library and up the stairs before she'd even thought about it. Entering Sarah's room, she crossed to the bed and just stood there. The light caressed the child's sweet, sleep-softened face.
Lexie pressed her lips together, hard, but still a whimper escaped. Tears welled up and spilled over. "Oh, my poor baby," she whispered. She climbed into the bed and gathered Sarah into her arms, rocking her against her chest.
"Momma?" she asked groggily. "You woke me up."
"I'm sorry, baby. Go back to sleep. Momma will hold you and sing, okay?"
The curls bobbed agreement.
The singing didn't happen, because Lexie couldn't get sound past her swelling vocal cords. But it didn't matter because Sarah had already fallen back to sleep. The rocking disintegrated into uncontrollable shaking.
A shudder crawled along Lexie's back. This precious child shared DNA with a monster. How was that possible?
Whose child was she? The child of her genetics? Or the loving environment in which Lexie had raised her? What kind of legacy would she inherit from a woman like Angela?
Outside the room, a pair of masculine voices rumbled. David and Marc. At the moment, she didn't want to see either of them.
Eventually the arguing subsided and the bedroom door creaked open. Lexie lifted her head from Sarah's.
"Lexie? What's wrong? I heard you on the monitor." David pointed to the night table.
If she'd been a superhero from a comic book, red laser beams would have shot out of her eyes and vaporized him on the spot.
But she wasn't a superhero. She was just a mother.
She gently released Sarah, lowering her back down to the pillow, tucking the covers around her. She kissed her forehead, and then both cheeks, lingering on the birthmark as more tears spilled down her own face.
Without a word, she marched from the room. David followed silently. Down the back staircase, through the kitchen, she strode purposefully, certain he was only one step behind. Grabbing a coat from a hook, she shrugged into it on the way out.
"Lexie? Where are we going?"
The dew on the grass wet her shoes as she crossed the lawn to the gazebo in the backyard. She whirled on him as he joined her. She curled her hand into a tight fist, fighting the urge to smack him.
He stopped to stare at her. "Lex? You're freaking me out, here. What's going on?"
"What's going on? I think there are a few things you forgot to tell me. Like your wife was arrested for murdering another baby. Like I was right. That she would have killed Sarah if I hadn't run away. That you were wrong and should have listened to me!"
"I'm sorry. It wasn't something I wanted to talk about. You think I'm proud of the fact that I wouldn't listen to you? That I was so damn inept as a father even before my child was born that I didn't know a threat to her safety lurked right under my own nose?
"I married a woman who was so screwed up in the head … and I didn't even realize it. You know how they say love is blind, Lex?" He slapped his chest. "I'm living proof it's blind and stupid. That's what love does to people, Lexie. Encourages them to make bad choices."
Lexie leaned against the gazebo's railing. The crisp night air cooled her anger, as did his words. Her fingers relaxed. "I'm sorry, too. I just wish you'd told me all this when you got here."
"I had other things on my mind. Like getting to know my daughter."
"I guess there's enough pain to go around
, huh?"
He nodded. "Yeah. But we can fix that. Have you given any thought to my proposal? We'll create a nice, stable, two-parent family for Sarah. A family like yours. She never has to know you're not her biological mother."
"My parents love each other, David."
He exhaled slowly. "I thought you'd put aside the romance novels and fairy tales, Lex. Didn't you tell me that this whole thing had killed the dreamer in you? Where's your practical side now?"
Clamoring to be heard. But she didn't want to listen. She shook her head. "I won't marry a man who doesn't love me, David. Not even you. Not even for Sarah. I can't."
"So, you're saying no?"
"I'm saying no." Her stomach rolled. She reached behind herself to grab the railing for support.
"Fine." He shoved his hands into his pants pockets. "Then we need to come up with a plan to explain everything to Sarah and get her prepared to go back to Erie with me."
Lexie's lower jaw quivered. "Will you—will you give me until her birthday?" she whispered.
"I want her settled by her birthday."
"So, you're saying no?" she echoed his earlier question.
"I'm saying no."
Since she couldn't have spoken if she'd wanted to, Lexie just nodded.
"I'll give you through Halloween. That gives us a little more time to get comfortable with one another, get her used to me. But, November first, we're on our way back east."
November first.
Two weeks and one day longer.
So little time to cram a lifetime's worth of love into a little girl. Holding her tears carefully in check—she'd be damned if she'd cry in front of him ever again—she nodded once more and strode back toward the house.
The leaves in the yard crunched beneath her feet as David watched her rush away. The porch door squeaked. Silhouetted by the kitchen lights, she poured herself into her brother's waiting arms.
David turned away, chest tight. He had a pretty good idea just how much he'd hurt her. But if he gave in on any grounds, from visitation to staying through Sarah's birthday—then it would be Thanksgiving, and then Christmas—what reason would she have for marrying him? He had to play the cards he had, use what he could to change her mind.
